Just program the pampering," says the promotional leaflet for Kohler's Masterbath, and this is one instance in which the ad is an understatement. Are you tired of having a bathroom that just sits there? Has the thrill of the electric toothbrush worn off? Is bathing a bore? No more. For the price of a new car, you can own one of the ultimate luxuries--a bathing environment that responds to your every whim at the touch of a button. Be Neptune, Apollo or Eros, calling the water or the sun to soothe your muscles or to set up the perfect romantic situation. Wind, rain, sun, sauna, steam--they're all at your command in a setting created by the most recent commingling of high fashion and high technology. The Environment Masterbath is the opposite of a sensory-deprivation tank--there's so much to do in this self-contained spa that the outside world may soon pale by comparison. The world of the Masterbath has its limits, of course. It won't transport you physically to Tahiti, though you'll be hard-pressed to tell the difference once you're inside. It won't snow, but it won't drop acid rain on you, either. And it won't undress you, but there should be plenty of volunteers for that. (If there aren't, there will be--right after word on what's waiting in your bath leaks out.) A few years ago, you could be the first guy on the block with a hot tub. This year, Masterbath owners will be showing off their units' teak interiors and gold-plated faucets. You can't be master of your fate, but now you can be master of your bath. And if that's not a reason to celebrate, you've been leading a very jaded life.
