Christmas in the Air

Wherever She May be, at home or on the road, actress Carol Channing knows where to get fresh seafood--in a hurry. She phones Legal Sea Foods, Boston, Massachusetts, on an 800 number and places her standard order--swordfish or gray sole. The fish is shipped via air express and arrives promptly, in pristine condition, frigid but not frozen. Expatriate New Yorker Max Lent, now living in Marina del Rey, California, assuages the pangs of nostalgia with a periodic fix from Zabar's, home of New York's best native New York fare. The perishable merchandise--smoked whitefish or carp, kippered salmon, pickled lox, pickled beef tongue--is at his doorstep within 24 hours of being shipped.

Those two instances are definitely not isolated happenings. They are prime examples of the passion for mail-order shopping now sweeping the country. In effect, it's the open-sesame to an abundance of foodstuffs, unique, hard-to-find items gathered from every part of the globe: buffalo steaks from Wyoming; a complete New England shore dinner; champagne-laced chocolate truffles from Switzerland--and thousands more. Many of the offerings are regional classics, available only from small family enterprises that follow heirloom recipes. You can get them at the farmhouse door, in a few hometown shops or via mail order--that's all.

The boom in mail-order food shopping and the consequent proliferation of food catalogs were triggered by technological advances in packing and shipping that made it feasible to send the most delicate and perishable goodies almost anywhere. Mary Jane Anderson, publisher of the industry newsletter "Foods by Mail," says that mail-order food is becoming a billion-dollar business--which suggests that catalog browsing may be our second favorite indoor sport. The following is a listing of distinctive and uncommon mail-order foods certain to delight you, with explicit instructions on how to order them. You won't find the usual fruitcakes, plum puddings, fillet steaks, Smithfield hams, fruit clubs and banal gift baskets that pop up annually. Not a cliché in the bunch. We've also noted whether the company accepts checks (CK), money orders (M.O.), Visa (V), American Express (A.E.), MasterCard (M.C.), Carte Blanche (C.B.) or Diners' Club (D.C.). For tips on Mail-Order Smarts, please refer to the sidebar on page 253. Finally, you should know that prices are subject to change; confirm them when placing your order. Happy hunting!

Say Cheese

If cheese is "milk's leap toward immortality," then the future of Maytag blue cheese is assured. An aromatic, creamy cheese made from rich whole milk and slowly cave-aged, Maytag is not merely the best American blue but a world-class cheese. A 4-lb. wheel is $25, a 2-pounder, $13.75. Maytag (continued on page 250) Christmas in the Air (continued from page 156) also produces a creditable edam cheese, 2 lbs. for $13.50, and a snappy natural white cheddar, 2 lbs. for $12. Delivery is extra. Maytag Dairy Farms, Box 806, Newton, Iowa 50208; 800-247-2458 (CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C.).

One of the wildest assortments of cheese in the U.S. is carried by Ideal Cheese, and proprietor Ed Edelman may be the most erudite dealer. Among his recent discoveries are a 4-lb. wheel of Swiss gruyère (from the district of Gruyère)--drier, sharper and nuttier than emmentaler, $19.95; huntsman, a layered combination of double gloucester and English stilton, $17.95 for a 2-1/2-lb. half-wheel, $34.95 for the 5-lb.; wynendale, a creamy, assertive, yet not overwhelming cheese from Belgium, $5.98 per pound; and Columbo gorgonzola, possibly the best gorgonzola this side of Italy, $6.98 per pound. Edelman's insider's choices for this year's top gift cheeses are saga with mushrooms--a soft, rich, buttery triple cream studded with mushrooms--$6.98 per pound; and English stilton in a reusable earthenware crock, 17 ozs., $16.95. Delivery is extra. Ideal Cheese Shop, 1205 Second Avenue, New York, New York 10021; 212-688-7579 (CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C.).

Dry monterey is a singularly American cheese. It's sweet and nutty, not unlike medium-cured parmesan. Sam Sebastiani of Sebastiani Vineyards sends out literally hundreds before Christmas. An 8-lb. wheel goes for $30, including delivery. Vella Cheese Company, 315 Second Street East, P.O. Box 191, Sonoma, California 95476-0191; 707-938-3232 (CK, M.O.).

Sheer Luxury

Caviar is never cheap, but prices sometimes ease off during the preholiday season. And while it's impossible to predict future prices, remember that it pays to comparison shop. Condition is even more important than price; order from reliable sources and request next-day delivery. The following outlets have good reputations.

Hansen Caviar offers a full line of fresh (unpasteurized) Russian caviar. The company is also deeply involved in the developing American caviar industry. This is bona fide sturgeon caviar, comparable to the imported sevruga--at about half the price. Hansen Caviar Company, Inc., 391-A Grand Avenue, Englewood, New Jersey 07631; 201-568-9659 (CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C).

Now, for the first time, Romanoff caviar is available by mail order. The company is offering its full line of fresh caviars at the current market price. For further details, phone 800-243-5293 and ask for the caviar desk. Other places known for good quality and good value are Caviar Direct, 800-472-4456 (in New York City, 757-8990), and Zabar's, 800-221-3347 (in New York City, 787-2000).

The Maine Event is a complete, authentic New England shore dinner. The dinner for four includes four good-sized lobsters (1-1/4--1-1/2 lbs.), 4 lbs. of steamer clams, two pints of fish chowder, bibs, nutcrackers and cooking instructions--everything but the sound of the surf. Lobsters arrive frisky. The condition of everything is guaranteed. The price is $96.95, including delivery. Dinners for two ($59.95) to 14 ($285.95) are also available, as are lobsters alone: 1-1/4-to-1-1/2-pounders--$75.95 for four, delivered. Legal Sea Foods, Inc., 33 Everett Street, Boston, Massachusetts 02134; 800-343-5804 (CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C., D.C.).

The Meat Market

When you're gorging yourself on Flying Pig's whole fresh barbecued ham, you're eating high on the hog. It's slowly pit-cooked over hickory coals for 24 hours and is periodically basted with a distinctive, mustardy sauce. Two whole barbecued hams, about 20 lbs. each, sell for $89; the barbecue sauce, Southern Gold, is $3.95 per 12-oz. bottle. Flying Pig also offers authentic chopped-ham barbecue, ribs and Carolina stew. Prices include delivery. Maurice Bessinger's Flying Pig Barbecue Service, P.O. Box 6847, West Columbia, South Carolina 29171; 800-Maurice (CK, M.O., V, M.C.).

At the turn of the century, there were only 22 wild buffaloes in North America; now there are more than 60,000 in commercial production alone, so enjoy your buffalo steak without guilt. Buffalo steaks from Jackson Hole, Wyoming, are rich, full-flavored and lean--and not the least bit gamy. They're $7.50 per pound, but shipping charges are high. Other products are smoked buffalo roast ($18.50 for a 1-lb. roast) and buffalo jerky ($15 per half pound). Price includes delivery on all but steaks. Beck Buffalo Products, South Park Route, Box 2141, Jackson Hole, Wyoming 83001; 800-367-3874 (CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C).

Fogel's Buffalo Basin in Fountain City, Wisconsin, claims to be the largest purveyor of fresh buffalo meat in the world. We've sampled its beef jerky and Buffalo Bill's smoked buffalo-and-beef summer sausage, and both are a tasty mouthful. Fogel's summer sausage is $3.95 for 12 ozs.; a 12-oz. jar of pickled Polish buffalo sausage is $5.25 ($13.50 for a half gallon); a jar of 36 buffalo-jerky sticks is $21.60; and a box of 24 smoked-sausage sticks is $12. Fogel's also has a large variety of buffalo steaks, ranging from $3 per pound for bottom round to $12 per pound for tenderloin. Delivery is extra. Fogel's Buffalo Basin, Inc., Route One, Fountain City, Wisconsin 54629; 608-687-8146 (CK, M.O.).

For the first time in 45 years, Pick's imported Hungarian salami is available in the U.S. It's zesty, aromatic, slowly air-cured and fine-grained. You slice it thin, because the taste is intense. Pick's comes in 1-lb. and 2-3/4-lb. sizes--$7.98 per pound delivered. Paprikas Weiss, 1546 Second Avenue, New York, New York 10028; 212-288-6117 (CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C.).

Butchers will tell you that top-notch veal must be pale--and imported. The veal raised at Summerfield Farm, Virginia, is rosy and relatively lean. Yet with customers such as Berkeley's Chez Panisse restaurant and praise from food authority Craig Claiborne, they must be doing something right. The tasty, tender veal is offered in assorted packages ranging in price from $75 to $145, plus delivery. Customers can also make up their own assortments. Jamie Nicoll, Summerfield Farm, Route One, Box 43, Boyce Virginia 22620; 703-837-1718 (CK, V, M.C.).

Where There's Smoke, There's Salmon

Smoked salmon is a familiar buffet item around the holidays--a nice counterpoint to champagne. Ducktrap River offers both Western/Pacific and Eastern Scotch-style smokes, and they're good examples of the genre. Proprietor Des Fitzgerald likes to emphasize the "complete trim" given his fish. The Scotch-style sides are $64.50 ($57 in New England); Western-style sides are $56.50 ($49.50 in New England). Weight is 2 to 2-1/2 lbs. Prices include delivery. Ducktrap River Fish Farm, Inc., R.F.D. 2, Box 378, Lincolnville, Maine 04849; 207-763-3960 (CK, M.O., V, M.C.).

If you and your friends are really serious about smoked salmon, investigate the International Salmon Sampler, which includes the four major styles of smoked salmon--satiny Scotch, smoky Irish, rich Norwegian and meaty Alaska sockeye--and discover which style is your personal favorite. Each side is guaranteed to weigh at least 2 lbs. The four sides, all prime, plus a stainless-steel knife, are $169.95, including delivery. Sides may also be purchased individually--at $49.95 each, including delivery. Legal Sea Foods, Inc.

Large rainbow trout smoked by the traditional Scotch method for salmon is a novelty. It's similar to smoked salmon, though more subtle. Use just as you would the salmon. Presliced and re-formed sides (guaranteed minimum 1 lb.) are $33. Delivery is extra. Hansen Caviar Company, Inc.

Baked Goods

Memory can play tricks, but one thing that's as good as you remember is the famed Arnold Reuben cheesecake. It's creamy, velvety and so rich that a narrow wedge is an adequate portion. The 2-lb. cake, six to eight portions, costs $16.75; the 5-lb. cake, 16 to 20 portions, is $29.95. Prices include delivery. While the plain is easily the most popular style, Reuben's cheesecakes also come in other flavors. Arnold Reuben Jr. 's Cheese Cakes, 15 Hill Park Avenue, Great Neck, New York 11021; 516-466-3685 (CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C.).

When it comes to English muffins, Wolferman's are the best--flat-out. These plump, airy pillows, almost twice the size of standard muffins, are crisp, chewy and moist all at once--with an appealing, yeasty aroma. They come in five flavors--original (plain), light wheat, cheddar cheese, cinnamon raisin and blueberry. The original are $17 for four dozen; two dozen are $10. Flavors are a little more, delivery extra. Wolferman's, 1900 West 47th Place, Suite 218, Westwood, Kansas 66205; 800-255-0169 (CK, M.O., V, A.E..M.C).

Normally, focaccia bread is slightly spongy, soft and chewy. Di Camillo's focaccia is different--and delicious. It's crisp, well peppered, herbed and anointed with extra-virgin Italian olive oil. A 9-oz. bag is $6.80; a large canister holding just over a pound is $13.20. Also noteworthy are the piquant, buttery Biscotti al Formaggio--Italian cheese crisps. A 9-oz. bag is $7.40; large canister, $13.20. Prices include delivery. Di Camillo Baking Company, 811 Linwood Avenue, Niagara Falls, New York 14305; 716-282-2341(CK, V, A.E..M.C).

For the Love of Chocolate

Even people who aren't crazy about chocolate succumb to the sensuous taste of Teuscher's champagne truffles. An elegant blend of cream, butter and chocolate, with a champagne-cream center, these delights are imported weekly from Switzerland to ensure freshness. Teuscher also presents truffles in nine other flavors; the price is the same for all. A 9-oz. box is $14.25; 14 ozs., S22; 20 ozs., $32; 36 ozs., $56. Delivery is extra. Teuscher Chocolates of Switzerland, 620 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10020; 212-246-4416 (CK, M.O., V,A.E.,M.C).

The Belgian chocolate Manon is just starting to make its mark in the States. It offers a selection of 60 kinds of hand-dipped chocolates. Among the favorites are Cheval Noir, Rose de Bruxelles and Bouchon. One-pound ballotin, $25; 2-lb. ballotin, $50. Delivery is extra. Le Chocolatier Manon, 872 Madison Avenue, New York, New York 10021; 212-288-8088 (CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C.).

Considering the insatiable hunger for truffles in the land, Dearborn's new do-it-yourself chocolate-truffle kit should find a constituency. The kit contains a rich chocolate-truffle base, Dutch-process cocoa, a forming spoon, candy papers and a recipe book. One gift-boxed kit yields about 24 truffles and costs $19.50, including delivery. Dearborn, 1 Christopher Street, New York, New York 10014; 212-691-9153 (CK, M.O.).

If visions of sugarplums dance in your head, you must be thinking of those at Paprikas Weiss. These are moist, imported pitted plums, filled with jam, then covered with chocolate. An 8-oz. gift box, $7; three boxes, $18. Price includes delivery.

Not the Same Old Grind

The Empire Coffee and Tea company offers 55 bean coffees from Colombia, Brazil, Africa, Costa Rica, Venezuela, et al. You can have them straight or in any combination, custom-blended to taste, in any grind you want, at $3.99 per pound. Empire also carries the true, high-grown Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee--not the ersatz version that often passes for Jamaica Blue--at $15 to $17 per pound. The house blend--Colombian light roast, Colombian Vienna (medium dark) roast and Tanzanian Peaberry--is $4.99 per pound. If decaffeinated is your cup, you can choose from ten kinds, all water-processed, at $4.99 per pound. Empire's tea stock outnumbers its coffees--with 60 kinds on tap. Two to look for are the full-bodied, perfumed Russian Wine, $6 per pound, and the brisk English Breakfast, a blend of four teas, $6.25 per pound. Delivery is extra. Empire Coffee and Tea, 486 Ninth Avenue, New York, New York 10018; 212-564-1460 (CK, M.O., V, M.C.).

While Community Kitchens offers a variety of foods and appliances, the emphasis is on coffee. One of their distinctive coffees is the New Orleans Blend--one third chicory, two thirds coffee in a Vienna roast. The price for three 1-lb. packages is $13.50, plus delivery. Community Kitchens, P.O. Box 3778, Baton Rouge, Louisiana 70821-3778; 800-535 9901(CK, M.O., V, A.E., M.C.).

Wines and Spirits

Government regulations ban the shipment of wines and spirits across state borders. But where there's a will, there's a way, and the way is to dial 800 Spirits, which can arrange delivery of your gift through local retailers everywhere. You pay for the service, of course. Prices range from $25 to $400, including gift wrap and delivery. There's a liberal list of labels from which to choose. 800 Spirits, Inc., 2 University Plaza, Hackensack, New Jersey 07601; 800-Be-There (V, A.E., M.C., D.C.).

Nationwide Gift Liquor offers a similar service; overnight delivery available on request. For prices and complete details, phone the toll-free number. Nationwide Gift Liquor Service, Inc., P.O. Box 32070, Phoenix, Arizona 85064; 800-Cheer-Up (M.O., V, A.E., M.C., C.B., D.C.).

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The artisans who create these bonnes bouches take pride in their reputations, and they tend to reserve the top of the line--the plumpest, juiciest, ripest items--for their mail-order clientele. So the odds for getting something good are all in your favor when you shop by mail.

"There are more than 60,000 buffaloes in production, so enjoy your buffalo steak without guilt."

Mail-Order Smarts

Shopping via mail order, properly done, can simplify your life--or at least a part of it. On the other hand, if you're not clued in, things can become complicated. Here are points to which you should be alert--even if you're an old hand.

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Specify the delivery date if you want your purchase to arrive at a certain time.

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Always double check as to extra charges for delivery, handling, insurance, etc. Don't take anything for granted.

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Enclose both your home and your business phone numbers.

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Never use a post-office-box address when purchasing perishable goods. The condition in which they arrive cannot be guaranteed.

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Schedule perishable items to arrive early in the week, so they don't sit in a warehouse over a weekend, and make sure someone will be there to receive them.

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A number of mail-order shippers require a minimum purchase for each order. Make sure you meet the minimum.

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Find out whether or not the shipper has an 800 number (toll-free) in addition to the regular phone number.

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Make your order and address easy to read. Type or print plainly. Include the Zip Code on every address.

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Gift cards or business cards can be enclosed with your order, but call attention to them. Some houses supply gift cards and will inscribe one with your message if requested. If you don't want an order form with prices included, make that clear.

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Have your catalog and credit card handy when phoning in an order.

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Order by catalog number if there is one.

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Purchase by credit card if time is a factor. As a rule, goods will not be shipped until a check has cleared.

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If you don't have a catalog from a shipper that interests you, ask for one. It will almost always be sent promptly and at no charge.

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Read the fine print in an ad or a catalog to note such neat points as guarantee and refund policy.

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Keep a record of your order: date, method of payment, etc. The law states that companies must respond to an order within 30 days, either by fulfilling it or by explaining why they haven't done so. You have a right to cancel after 30 days if service is not satisfactory and to get a full refund.

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Orders from companies within your state call for the state or city sales tax, if there is one.

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Most companies will want the expiration date of your credit card if used.

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Some companies have a special customers' service line, different from the order line, to take complaints and make adjustments.

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For speediest delivery, specify one-day or two-day air. Note that this may involve additional charges.

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Many companies will not ship merchandise C.O.D. nor accept collect calls.

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Gift wrap, if you want it, is usually available gratis or with a modest charge.

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Prices are subject to change and are not guaranteed beyond a specified date.

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Special discounts may be available on large-quantity orders. Inquire!