None of the women shown here will have trouble finding a husband when she's past 30, despite the results of recent studies. And if she has one already, she will be able to get a second one. All are Gorgeous Girls who will never have to worry about day-care centers or the best way to clean a refrigerator. Nor will you find them at The Salty Dog, being asked if they come there often. They are not that kind of woman.
The reason they all look so serious is that they are being photographed by Patrick Demarchelier, which is no small thing. You don't rush up to him and say, "Take my picture." You have to be a card-carrying G.G. before he will go near you. Demarchelier has photographed each of these women with a subtle interplay of light and shadow. It's not that other photographers use a klutzy interplay of light and shadow. No one is saying that. It's just that Demarchelier's is just a tad more subtle than the other fellows'. Which is why he's Demarchelier. Some guesses as to what these women have in common:
• Each one likes a man with a sense of humor. If he has a sense of humor and is also connected to a banking family, that's good, too.
• Each has invested wisely. She has a portfolio with a nice mix of triple-tax-free municipals and real estate. An investment-broker friend she met in a disco--possibly through Vitas Gerulaitis--keeps a close eye on her portfolio and makes sure she doesn't lose a quarter. How would it look if he had to say, "I blew Paulina's modeling savings"?
• Each feels she is just a little girl at heart.
• Each likes Jack Nicholson and believes that hunger should be eradicated.
Would these women like one another if they were thrown together in a room? Yes, but only if there were someone to loosen them up a bit. Not Demarchelier. If he walked into the room, they'd all get grim again and start striking G.G. poses. That's the effect he has. It would have to be some short guy in a caftan. He'd tell them some Halston gossip and they'd all start cracking up and become the best of friends. If no little guy came in, possibly Christie Brinkley would get things going. She looks like the cutup of the crowd. She's even managed a little bit of a smile in her photograph. In any case, Brinkley would tell them about a model who'd done something tacky on an assignment in Tangier. Once the ice was broken, the others would cut loose, each with her own story about a model she knew who was really tacky. Before you know it, the room would be Tack City, all taking turns grossing the others out and having the time of their lives.
Some nagging questions posed by these pictures:
• Is Janet Jones wondering which is a better career move--to appear tough or to appear vulnerable?
• What would Brooke Shields's career be like if it hadn't been shaped by her mom? Would it be flying all over the place or would it be on track?
• Why is Melanie Griffith constantly bending and stretching?
• Do Christie Brinkley's views on arms reduction differ from Patti Hansen's?
• Is it possible to catch Paulina in something other than a pensive mood? Does she hit the ground pensive and stay that way all day?
• How can Jatqueline Bisset be a normal individual one moment and then, all of a sudden, be thunderously beautiful?
• Will Patti Hansen's exposed half nipple set off a new half-a-nip craze? Will men go berserk wanting to see the other half, never stopping to consider that half is better than none?
• When Hollywood is called to account for its crimes of the Eighties, will it respond, quite properly, "But we gave you Debra Winger"?
For those who are intimidated by these women, it's important to remember that each had a father who told her to go to her room when she was naughty.
