Produced by Kerig Pope/Makeup by Art Anthony/Wardrobe by Brenda Johnson/Kalibré jewelry, courtesy of Pompian
Now that you've just read all about his successes, you probably think that Max Headroom's got it all, right? Not quite.
Despite his charming exterior, Max, it appears, is a loner: no computer-generated babe to gently charge his electrofield; no companion with whom to share program time once the test pattern has clicked on for the night. Nobody, that is, until now. After all, even Frankenstein had a bride. And Pee-wee had a big adventure. We figured Max should have a compatible interface. She'd have to be everything Max is, of course--smirky, quirky, a bit plastic-looking. But, more in keeping with the Playboy tradition, she'd have to be beautiful.
So here she is, ladies and gentlemen of the airwaves--turn on to Maxine Legroom.
Maxine: "It's great to be Playboy's first computer-generated Playmate. And I can hardly wait to go on line with Max Headroom. I'd like to mangle his mainframe and interface my floppy function with his hardware. Oh, gosh, did I actually say that?"
Maxine: "Max has proved that there is a future in TV. And when I say in TV, I mean in TV. I don't plan to model my career after his, mind you. I may be more user-friendly than he is. But for the time being, you can tell the press we're on the same wave length."
Maxine: "If I met Max? Gee, I don't know. First thing, my tint would probably go completely red. Then my vertical would zap outa whack. But once I'd warmed up, our joint reception should be compatible. I've got binaries he'd love to take a byte of."
Maxine: "My mom is behind me 100 percent. She's one of those solid, state-of-the-art model parents who believe that kids should tune in and turn on whatever and whenever they want. My dad's different. He sees things only in black and white."
Maxine: "Beneath my state-of-the-art skin beats a good old-fashioned Midwestern analog. I don't believe in computer dating. Or dating computers. I'm advanced; that's not the same as fast. No print-outs on the first date: I want to know where a guy's modem has been. Sure, peripherals are important. But till you've sifted his data base--as they say, garbanzo in, garbanzo gas out. No way I'm going through life as a half-hour episode in Max's career."
"I ad-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-..."
"d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-..."
"d-d-d-d-dore Max Headroom!"
Maxine: "I've always known that I was a little, well, older than most girls my age. Twenty minutes, to be exact. So when Max came along, I knew he was the man for me. The way I figure it, he has opened the door for future computer-generated generations. Now, if someone would introduce us."
Playmate data sheet
Name: Maxine Legroom
Bust, Waist, Hips, Height, Weight: Vary with mood and screen size.
Birth Date: Yesterday.
Birthplace: Industrial Lust & Magic.
Ambition: To be reprogrammed as the first 3-D hologram foldout.
Turn-Ons: Laser massages, electrical storms, high-tech lingerie.
Turn-Offs: Hackers, signal scramblers, guys who dump their programs with a single stroke.
Favorite Books: What's a book?
Favorite Performers: Betty Boop, Barbarella, the Jetsons.
Favorite Sport: People watching.
Ideal Man: Max Headroom from the neck down.
Secret Fantasy: To spend an evening in Paul Shaffer's synthesizer.
