The Year in Sex

The wild, wonderful, wacky and outrageous year in Sex

Praise The Lord And Pass The Ammunition

Jessica Hahn spilled the beans on Jim Bakker and helped topple his PTL empire; in Playboy's pages, she inadvertently launched the slogan of the year.

Praise The Lord!

Junior Sure is Taking An Interest In Religion Lately.

Hitting Below The Bible Belt

In happier days, Tammy Faye Bakker and Karen Paxton posed in décolletage at a Florida carnival picture booth. That was before Karen learned that Tammy had been playing kissy-face with her then husband, singer Gary (Monster Mash) Paxton.

Enough To Turn A Guy's Hair White

After hitting on Jessica, baby-faced Bakker aged fast when a couple of fellas said he'd gone for them.

I Am Not A Bimbo

We Are Not Bimbos

Loving The Spin She's In

Vanna White, everybody's favorite letterwoman, has signed a new five-year Wheel of Fortune contract, reportedly for $5,000,000 (five times her previous salary). Just goes to show what appearing in Playboy can do for a girl's career.

Faint Lady Never Won Fair Trial

When buxom Romina Danielson passed out after testifying she had been hubby Peter Holm's lover, Joan Collins got her divorce.

Gary, this bud's for you

Before she parlayed her Hart stopper into a full-blown career in jeans ads, Donna Rice revealed less-than-overwhelming charms in a Florida saloon poster. Later, those buds blossomed (inset) and she turned into a regular Silicone Valley girl.

I Have No Excuses

The Year In Safe Sex: A Bird's-Eye View

Aesera's Valentine's Day Singles Mingles 5:00

Excuse Me... I Wonder If--

Valentine's Day Sweets Mwgles 5:00

Here. Take This Before We Go Any Farther.

What Is It?

My Sexual History. Names, Numbers And Address Are All Up To Date.

Thank You.

...And If You'll Please Fill Out These Forms Detailing All Your Past Intimate Physical Contacts Within The Last Five Years...

I Haven't Had Any.

None?

None Whatsoever?

Nope, Im Quite The Prude.

I'm Into Prudes!

Me, Too!

I Saw Him First!!

Boy! All This Paperwork, Just For Directions To The Men's Room.

Bloom County

by Berke Breathed

Give That Man A Calendar

Red-faced Reverend Pat had to admit he'd fudged his issue in a campaign bio. Son Tim was really born ten weeks after he and Mrs. Robertson wed.

Great Dane Unleashed

One wild rumor after another surrounded the Brigitte Nielsen--Sylvester Stallone split. Was she monkeying around with her secretary? Her director? What woman would give up a body like Sly's? What man could give up this body?

Erection Set

The year's naughtiest band, the Beastie Boys, employed a hydraulic penis in stage shows.

Jeg Er Ikke En Bimbo

Go Fcc Yourself

After the FCC chastised foulmouthed talk-show host Howard Stern, 2000 fans--some clearly bosom buddies--rallied to his support in Manhattan's Dag Hammarskjöld Plaza.

Candid Transit

Copenhagen buses preach safe sex in many languages; e.g., Russian.

Is that a condom in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Condom Etiquette's ties, garter belts and other items of apparel contain hidden pockets for prophylactics.

We always said she was a Ballsy Broad

Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher told the British magazine Board Room that she takes male hormones to preserve her body and spirit.

Royal Cutup

Windsor Castle gardener Terry Creedon, miffed by japes at his jeans, stripped and got canned.

I Need "No Excuses"

The Birds and the Bares

Which comes first, the nudist or the egg? Here we have nesting terns vs. tanning sterns as naturists and conservationists do battle over some hot territory at Moonstone Beach, Rhode Island.

Beware of Greeks Baring gifts

Will ex-stewardess Dimitra Liani become the Donna Rice to Greek prime minister Andreas Papandreou's Gary Hart? Stay tuned.

Safe Cracking

At Sherri Foxman's Safe Sex Cotillion in Cleveland, contestants broke condoms with mallets and Pogo sticks. The party was clearly a smash.

Hold the Pepperoni

Enterprising University of Texas students started the Protection Connection, a condom-and-contra-ceptive-sponge delivery service with a 30-minute guarantee.

Give that Man a Calender

Jesse Jackson's first child was born just six and a half months after he and his wife Jacqueline were married.

Working their way through college

More fun than slinging burgers: posing for Northern Illinois grad Frank Trebusak's coed calendar.

Sorry, they don't do windows

Almost Eden, a Tampa, Florida, outfit, will furnish servants for your next party--out of uniform.

Our kind of civil disobedience

This true Britflashed number 10 Downing Street to protest her government's attempts to ban a spy's memoirs. Three cheers for full disclosure.

Royal Blush

As if rumors of a rift with Prince Charles weren't bad enough, Princess Di had to deal with Christina Hance, an impersonator who appears in a raunchy video. Buckingham Palace, said London tabloids, feared fans would believe that the real royal was having a Wales of a time in the blue flick.

Give that man a calendar

Patti weighed in (at seven pounds) seven and a half months after the Reagans' wedding.

This Lady Does Do Windows!

The body politic: To get back at her ex-husband, an ultraconservative French party leader who had advised her to get a job, Pierrette Le Pen posed in and out of a maid's costume for the French edition of Playboy.

Je Nesuispas Une Bimbo

Cos for Alarm?

Lisa Bonet, The Cosby Show's Denise, raised brows by rutting with Mickey Rourke in Angel Heart and posing topless for Interview magazine.

Cock-And-Balls Story

Here's the cover of Urgent's new album, Thinking Out Loud, which just goes to show that perspective is everything.

Woman's best friend? a hite report

Shere's new book claims men infuriate women. Maybe the canine in the 1971 shooting Hite did for us was a more congeniel companion.

Premature Burial

Last Christmas, the Dark Bros. sent us this wastebasket. They then quit the field--but Traci Lords, now of age, popped right back up.

And Now, The Award For Best Supporting Prophylactic

Condoms came on strong in 1987 Hollywood. In Amazon Women on the Moon, one made it big.

Now, That's Italian!

Ilona Staller, best known to the electorate as porn star Cicciolina, delighted the world's press by conducting a let-it-all-hang-out campaign and winning a seat in Italy's parliament.

10 Non Sono Bimbo

Hard Sells

Rediscovering what sex can do for the bottom line, Madison Avenue is producing wonderfully wicked imagery to tout everything from perfume to condoms to running shoes. Cartoonist Garry Trudeau, spoofing the trend, ran into prudery: Newsday's editors yanked this Doonesbury strip.

Wings

Doonesbury

Uh...Where's the Bike?

Don't Need it. We're Just Capturing the Mood, the Spirit of the Product.

Box Stitch

A California jury recently awarded $6,000,000 to a woman whose gynecologist husband sewed her vagina shut during surgery. She says he suspected her of infidelity; the doc claimed the sutúres were a mistake.

Tusk, Tusk

Indonesian officials are reported to be considering a new attraction with which to lure more tourists: elephant-fucking shows.