20 Questions: Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage's baleful expression has, paradoxically, enlivened such movies as "Birdy," "Peggy Sue Got Married" and, most recently, "Raising Arizona" and "Moonstruck." His new release is "Vampire's Kiss," in which he eats a cockroach. Robert Crane caught up with Cage at his office in Los Angeles. Crane reports, "Cage reacted to being interviewed as most people react to having root-canal work done. Unaccustomed to self-promotion, he paced the floor like an inmate on death row, constantly running his fingers through his shock of unruly hair. Yet he was very cordial."

1.

[Q] Playboy: Your uncle is Francis Ford Coppola. Do you call him Godfather?

[A] Cage: I called him Godfather when I was about eight years old. We used to go shopping in Chinatown. He would buy me laser-beam guns. There were three other kids: my brother, Christopher, and his two boys, Roman and Gian Carlo.

I remember one time we went miniature golfing and I kept singing the theme song to The Godfather just to bother him. I kept doing it over and over. He thought it was funny, I guess.

I'm kidding. I don't really call him Godfather. I call him Kurtz.

2.

[Q] Playboy: When Coppola gives you advice, do you follow it?

[A] Cage: Sometimes I ask him questions about people he's worked with. Once, I asked him about auditions because I was having trouble with readings. He reminded me that the reading is not a finished product and that has always calmed me down. He told me how Brando used to like to work with the artificial elements around him on films like Mutiny on the Bounty, where he requested a block of ice to sit on. These are probably all secrets. I shouldn't be exposing them.

3.

[Q] Playboy: Our female colleagues think you're made for the Italian T-shirt. Why?

[A] Cage: My grandfather was a coal miner in the Twenties and he used to wear one of those shirts. I remember him wearing them at breakfast. It's sort of a worker's shirt. It sort of says manual labor.

4.

[Q] Playboy: When was the last time the moon hit your eye like a big pizza pie?

[A] Cage: It hasn't happened yet and I'm twenty-four.

5.

[Q] Playboy: Describe amore.

[A] Cage: Amore is a real Dean Martin kind of thing. Amore, to me, has shades of Hollywood Squares. It's a real saccharine concept of love. I don't really know anything about amore. I think I do have a romantic tendency in my life. I do like women. I'm totally mystified by women. I don't quite understand women. If I were to become a woman for a day, the first thing I would do is masturbate.

Cupid came around once or twice last year, but I didn't exactly get stung--you know what I mean.

6.

[Q] Playboy: You're with a woman and your body is not interested. What do you say?

[A] Cage: I don't have that problem. Maybe I'd look her in the eye and say, "I dig affection, baby, but not while I'm driving."

7.

[Q] Playboy: A woman has just slapped you. What are your options, as a man of culture?

[A] Cage: One: Ask her, "Did you enjoy it?"

Two: "Would you like to do that again?"

Three: "Harder."

8.

[Q] Playboy: Give us three danger signs that indicate a woman is interested.

[A] Cage: When they pop their gum; When they arch their back; When they shout my name and applaud.

9.

[Q] Playboy: What are your best and worst opening lines?

[A] Cage: The worst opening line is "Do you know what time it is?" I haven't cultivated a best one at this time.

10.

[Q] Playboy: What do you miss about not having gone to college?

[A] Cage: Nothing. However, I'd like to know more about cars. The only course I should have taken in school is auto mechanics, because it's the only thing I could use right now--the knowledge of cars, how they work--and apply it to my own life.

11.

[Q] Playboy: Give us your Elvis rescue plan.

[A] Cage: I have a real problem with Priscilla Presley. I thought Elvis and Me was pretty much a big insult and it made him look like a villain. Whether or not he was, I don't know. But I don't think the movie was necessary. I could never do that to someone I was in love with--trash them nationally.

I like what Elvis turned into, physically. I know he probably wasn't feeling well, but he became big, really big. I like the suits that he wore and his operatic voice. He got pretty close to America's concept of a godlike image. The sideburns, the mutton chops. I think it's pretty impressive and slightly ridiculous and I like things that are slightly ridiculous. That gives them a universal quality, the absurd. I like Elvis' later years.

12.

[Q] Playboy: You sniffle, your eyes droop, you have unfashionable sideburns and unruly hair. What's the look, Nick?

[A] Cage: I like the fact that I have a nose problem. I know it brothers some of my friends. I've recently, investigated the possibility of getting it fixed. Some girl told me on the street the other day, "I'm a big fan, but, if you'd like a piece of advice, keep your mouth shut. Your mouth is always open." I said, "It's because I can't breathe. I have to breathe through my mouth." I've grown fond of my nose problem, my sniffle. I find it a youthful thing. I don't like it when people on the street say "Smile" or "Cheer up." It's a real cheap line. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling real grateful for everything. It's a solid time in my life. When people say I look sad, they're wrong.

13.

[Q] Playboy: What's Cher like in bed?

[A] Cage: Uh, oh, wow. Um. Cherilyn. Well, there's, I mean, are you talking about the visual image? I'm sure she's great.

14.

[Q] Playboy: Cher slapped you. What other responses have you had when you've told women you love them?

[A] Cage: It fluctuates between the sound of a hissing lynx and the expression of a Mary Poppins idealism.

15.

[Q] Playboy: What popular song or sentiment describes love best?

[A] Cage: I like a lot of what the Beatles did. I think they were coming from the real place when they were singing about love. I like John Lennon's lyrics. I think Willie Nelson has a good song that Elvis recorded. [Sings] "Maybe I didn't hold you quite as often as I should have." What's that song? That's a real sad song. (You Were) Always on My Mind.

16.

[Q] Playboy: What do you do when you get a boner?

[A] Cage: Keep it, hold it there and walk down the street. You know, ask the girls how they're doing.

17.

[Q] Playboy: Describe the last time you were knocking and she didn't let you in.

[A] Cage: I disguised my voice and said I was room service and the door opened. It was a real big surprise, I'll tell you. She'd thought I was in Paris.

18.

[Q] Playboy: A meter maid has just ticketed your car. Talk your way out of it.

[A] Cage: I don't worry about tickets. I don't pay them. I wait until it's a bigger problem to deal with. When I get a phone call from the Supreme Court, then I'll deal with it.

19.

[Q] Playboy: What were you wearing when you had the absolute most fun?

[A] Cage: I was stealing an aquarium from the Museum of Modern Art and I was with a friend of mine and I think I was wearing a large black trench coat.

20.

[Q] Playboy: What was the last bill you received that surprised you?

[A] Cage: I don't look at my bills. I try not to worry or think about money. I just keep spending until I get a phone call from my business manager telling me to stop. Even then, I have difficulty doing that. I like to purchase things and not worry about it. I find that money problems are too big a headache for me to think about, so I wait until that phone call comes. I do enjoy a good cigar. That's kind of decadent. I did order a box of cigars that kind of set me back. Cuban. I'm trying to get a cappuccino machine, but I can't afford it right now.

Hollywood's unlikely heart throb describes amore, discusses getting slapped and defends his contempt for parking tickets