20 Questions John Candy

When the comedy series "SCTV" hit the airwaves in 1976, audiences immediately gravitated toward the funniest and friendliest member of the cast, John Candy. His eclectic collection of offbeat characters (Johnny Larue, Dr. Tongue, Yosh Shmenge, Harry--"the guy with the snake on his face") attracted a large and loyal following that has stayed with him through the hits ("Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," "Splash") and misses ("Armed and Dangerous," "Who's Harry Crumb?") of a film career that promises its best work is yet to come. Candy believes his latest film, "Uncle Buck," due out this month, is a new direction into seriocomic roles. Robert Crane caught up with Candy aboard Air Canada's L.A.--Toronto afternoon flight. Crane reports: "Candy is an energy source contained in clothes. In addition to his nonstop moviemaking, he tapes a weekly radio show, 'Radio Kandy,' he will host a Saturday-morning kids' show, 'Camp Candy,' and he is involved in three HBO comedy specials. There is even talk of putting his name on a line of clothing. A guy that nice shouldn't have to work that hard."

1.

[Q] Playboy: What's the best advice a bartender ever gave you?

[A] Candy: "Don't get into the restaurant business." "You've had enough." "It's time to go." "Do you really need this?"

2.

[Q] Playboy: Why isn't there more sex in your films?

[A] Candy: Damn, that's what I ask the producers. It's not for lack of trying. We had some in Summer Rental. I'm working now with Amy Madigan. She does my private parts in Uncle Buck.

3.

[Q] Playboy: You, Sam Kinison, Roseanne Barr and Louie Anderson are all in the forefront of comedy. Is fat funny?

[A] Candy: It's as funny as midgets. It's really in the eye of the beholder. Some choose to think that. I never dwell on it. I tend to look at people as people and not as tall, short, fat, skinny. Given the opportunity, I'm sure we could come up with a list of faults for everyone. We could find old people funny. People with big noses. People going bald. People with big ears. People with goiters. People who have face lifts. People who have perfect teeth. You could cut anybody up.

Roseanne Barr is very funny, very talented. More power to her. Louie Anderson is funny. Sam Kinison is very talented. I think they're talented no matter what they look like. I don't judge people by how they look and I try not to hang out with people who do.

4.

[Q] Playboy: How did you come up with the Shmenges?

[A] Candy: Eugene Levy and I were sitting in a hotel room in Edmonton, writing the SCTV show, and I had been using the word shmenge, which is a bastardization of shmegegge. We were watching a polka show on TV and I said, "Boy, there's a couple of shmenges for you," and a light bulb went off and we looked at each other and went, "Yeah, shmenges." That afternoon, we created Yosh and Stan and wrote the first script. It wasn't until six months later that we shot it. Everybody went nuts in the studio. And then we did additional bits when we had the right pieces for them.

5.

[Q] Playboy: Will the Shmenges do any relief concerts for the Soviet Baltic countries?

[A] Candy: I think they're going to send Dan Quayle over. He's doing a one-man show, I'm Not Jack Kennedy, for dinner theaters. He'll be touring Russia with that. He's going to kick off in Berlin. Ich bin nicht Jack Kennedy Berliner. The Shmenges may open for him.

6.

[Q] Playboy: As a Canadian, did you weep when Wayne Gretzky left Edmonton?

[A] Candy: No. Are you kidding? I jumped up and down. I thought it was hysterical. It was one of those moments when you always remember where you were when you heard the news. I was getting onto a plane to go to Vancouver and someone said, "Congratulations! You've got Gretzky playing for you now." I thought he was joking. I had almost given up my L.A. Kings season tickets, because I'm there so seldom that I could buy them on a per-game basis. One of the first calls I made was to make sure that I had not, in fact, canceled my season tickets. The Kings' ticket office said, "Don't worry, you're covered." The people at the Forum have been so nice. [Kings owner] Bruce McNall's people are fabulous. They have a winning attitude. Gretzky brings a lot of class and expertise.

7.

[Q] Playboy: What other Canadian sports figures would you like to see move to L.A.?

[A] Candy: Ben Johnson. Of course, Canadians are now saying he's Jamaican. At first, he was closely related to Sir Johnny Macdonald, the first prime minister of Canada. They were tracing his roots back that far. The moment he was disqualified, he came from Jamaica. It is pretty disgraceful. For his own safety, he should come to Los Angeles.

8.

[Q] Playboy: Whose fingerprints are on the scripts that come your way?

[A] Candy: There aren't too many fingerprints now. I've been very selective and very fortunate. I have a good relationship with John Hughes. If we can work together over the years, I'll be very happy with that. I enjoy working with Paul Flaherty; I did Who's Harry Crumb? with him. We also worked together a number of years at SCTV. My agent probably has more fingerprints on scripts than anyone else. I know in Hollywood they have a star wheel in the executives' offices. They spin the wheel and it lands on a picture of an actor. Wherever it lands, they make a deal with him. It's scary. Eddie Murphy would probably be on top. Or Bill Murray. Or Chevy Chase. Dan Aykroyd would be right up there. Tom Hanks. Steve Martin. Danny DeVito. Michael Keaton. John Cleese. Michael Palin. Kevin Kline. There are so many.

9.

[Q] Playboy: What is it like to be the funniest part of an unfunny movie?

[A] Candy: I'm a very hard judge, so it's difficult to think of myself as funny at all. I usually look at everyone else on the screen and mentally block myself right out. It's like an instant matte camera--I can put anyone else's face in there or I can put a tree where I'm standing. I'm always in awe of everyone else's work--my God, I'm (concluded on page 134)John Candy(continued from page 125) lucky to be here with these people.

There have been times that a movie hasn't done so well and I, personally, have done well in the reviews. We refer to that as "skating," from our old SCTV days. It doesn't happen that often. It's up to the individual critic. It's based on his taste. There have been other cases when the movie has gotten great reviews and I've gotten killed. They just haven't liked me. So it works both ways.

10.

[Q] Playboy: Explain the snack.

[A] Candy: Snacks are important. I'm a healthy-snack fiend now. Your body needs fuel all day. We're taught that candy bars are a great snack and that they'll get you through to dinner. I think you should graze all day. Celery, carrots, fruits, vegetables. Then blow out every now and then on Ding Dongs. I can't do that anymore. I'm reading more labels than I ever did before. I know that some of the things put in there sure don't belong. No more edible oil products for me.

11.

[Q] Playboy: For what food product would you consider being a spokesman?

[A] Candy: Brussels sprouts. Sure, they give you gas, but they're good for you. Nobody pushes Brussels sprouts. They're forgotten. They're cute little guys on your plate. There's not a lot you can do with them. Brussels-sprouts pie. Brussels-sprouts tarts. Brussels-sprouts pudding. Stuffed Brussels sprouts. Lima beans don't get much publicity, either. Nobody pushes summer squash. Jicama. Who deals with jicama? A lot of forgotten vegetables out there. It's sad. John Candy for jicama--"You know, when I wake up in the morning, there's nothing like a nice fresh slice of jicama. It goes down well in the morning, afternoon or evening. Heck, we can't keep enough jicama in our house. Eat jicama once a day."

12.

[Q] Playboy: How does one become a man of stature?

[A] Candy: By stepping on people, climbing that ladder as ruthlessly as possible. Having no feeling toward people whatsoever. Planting the tip of your boot firmly in someone's eye socket and then kicking up. Clawing, begging, stealing.

13.

[Q] Playboy: How large is your erotica collection and tell us where it's housed.

[A] Candy: It can be seen at the Smithsonian. I was brought up in a Victorian-style house. It was very hard to hide the stuff under the mattress. It was very lumpy. Actually, it was a relief when I got rid of it, because it was uncomfortable. The Smithsonian was very glad to get it. They hadn't seen one in centuries. It had been passed on from Candy to Candy. I'm not quite sure how old it was.

It was harder with children. I had to take an apartment. After my second child was born, I had a moving van come in and take it all. There was a celebrity erotica auction for charity to which I gave a lot of it. It did quite well.

14.

[Q] Playboy: Reveal a big man's sex secrets.

[A] Candy: Patience.

15.

[Q] Playboy: To what extent is size a love weapon?

[A] Candy: The size of your wallet is very important. It should be bulging at all times. I think that usually speaks louder than anything else. Green stuff should be hanging all over the place.

16.

[Q] Playboy: When was the last time a woman wanted you for your mind?

[A] Candy: A nurse at the hospital was setting me up for a Cat scan. She was wearing a very revealing outfit.

17.

[Q] Playboy: How do you juggle being a father and a party monster?

[A] Candy: You've got to teach your kids when they're young. Show them how to mix that drink and work that blender. How to keep things real cool on ice. Keep that fridge stocked. How to use a credit card.

My daughter has never seen the mud-wrestling scene in Stripes. She would think it was silly. Just Dad wrestling in the mud. It would look kind of fun.

The two roles are so separate to me. We entertain a lot at the house. There's always a party going on. The music's up and everybody's having a good time. Both kids like a lot of people. When my daughter was three weeks old, she was at a major party. My wife had her in a Snugli and the child was having a good time. She's all right. The kids have logged so many miles between them. They've been on sets. They're little gypsies. That's just the lifestyle. They see people at their house who are on TV.

18.

[Q] Playboy: What was a typical menu at your parents' house?

[A] Candy: We had a combination of ethnic cooking. We lived with my grandparents. My grandmother was Polish, so we had a lot of cabbage rolls and coffee. There was the North American diet and my grandmother would cook that roast until it got good and gray. I never knew meat was pink until I was twenty-three. Ooooo, what's this? Pink. Ooooo, send it back. Boil those vegetables down.

Now my mother cooks Pritikin a lot. In summer, there's always stuff from the garden. Take-out food. A lot of barbecues. It depends on the occasion.

I guarantee you, no one ever walked into the house who didn't get fed. There were some fine meals. I look back now and that house was so small. How could twenty people fit in there? We did. There were Christmas and New Year's parties. It was great. Good memories.

19.

[Q] Playboy: How rigorous is the John Candy workout regimen?

[A] Candy: My weight fluctuates drastically. I'm trying to keep it on an even keel. Diet and exercise are very important in my life. My metabolism is slow, so exercise is very important for me to burn fat. I can eat a normal fifteen-hundred-to-two-thousand-calorie-a-day diet and put on lots of weight. If I exercise, I can keep it down. I try to use the treadmill twice a day--at least an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. A cardiovascular workout is very important for me. I work with weights now. My goal is to learn to discipline myself. It'll become a daily part of my life. I've never liked exercise. Pain was never fun for me. Some people get a real kick out of it and I respect those people. I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy--eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it. Therein lies the rub.

20.

[Q] Playboy: When was the last time you were embarrassed?

[A] Candy: Eugene and I were flying from L.A. to New York on the Splash junket and there was an actor who came on board whom we knew, and I thought it was Michael Ontkean, who was in Slap Shot. Toward the end of the flight, I went over and said, "Jeez, I just laughed at Slap Shot. I thought you were great in it." He said, "That was Michael Ontkean. I was in Missing. I'm John Shea." Oh. And Eugene's laughing. I could die. I was fumbling all over the place. And then I was in line with him all the way down to the baggage claim.

"Teach your kids when they're young. Show them how to mix that drink and work that blender"