20 Questions: Woody Harrelson

Emmy-winner Woody Harrelson is best known for six seasons of lending bar as Woody Boyd on "Cheers." He's been called the "best dumb blond on TV," a guy who has "the lovable-yokel act down." He has also earned the reputation as one of Hollywood's leading ladies' men, "the slick prince of El Lay." Most recently, he consorted with—but never talked publicly about—actress Glenn Close, whom he met while doing the play "Brooklyn Laundry." Harrelson has also been linked with Brooke Shields, Ally Sheedy, Moon Unit Zappa and Carol Kane.

Now Harrelson says he's changing, becoming more spiritual, getting in touch with himself after years of hedonism. We sent Contributing Editor David Rensin to check it out. Says Rensin, "We met at Woody's rented Malibu Colony house while he was filming 'White Men Can't Jump,' a basketball story of sorts. He suggested we talk in his tepee, which he built on the huge lawn next to the hedge. Inside were three mats, some drums and a recently used fire pit. Harrelson lay down, opened a bottle of water and began to talk. Was Woody really the spiritual, back-to-nature boy he claimed to be? After two bottles of spring water, he excused himself to pee. If this is any clue, he didn't think twice about using the hedge."

1.

[Q] Playboy: Settle the great bar-food debate: pretzels or nuts?

[A] Harrelson: I've never been a big fan of pretzels or nuts. I like those little fish things. The Goldfish. I know they're terrible for you, but, damn, those things are tasty. I can easily eat a couple bowlfuls.

2.

[Q] Playboy: What was your first thought when Ted Danson pulled down your pants on the set of Cheers?

[A] Harrelson: I'm gonna get him! Instantly. The revenge was to get a picture of him naked. So I enlisted Kirstie Alley and George Wendt on my mission. George got Ted to leave the bathroom door open. I opened the shower door. Kirstie took the picture. And it was a good one. He's just standing, washing his hair. His hands are up, he's sudsed. It's a perfect shot! And there is no question why Ted Danson's a leading man. [Laughs] At first, I didn't know what to do with it. I would take it around and show it to anyone who happened by. Strangers. I figured I had one hundred fifty people to show it to, just to catch up with what he did to me. But that wasn't giving me the kind of satisfaction I needed. So I got the picture and put it on the year-end gag reel. At the party, four or five hundred people saw it.

3.

[Q] Playboy: How good are bartenders at solving other people's problems?

[A] Harrelson: They get so many really sad cases that they have to be good at it. Otherwise, they're just going to be miserable. The bartenders I know are all gregarious, fun-loving people. I always loved bartenders. And I always tipped them well. I don't go on percentage. If a drink's a couple bucks, I'll tip a couple bucks. Man, they're working hard. Look at Bruce Willis: That guy was a bartender for years in New York. Now here's a guy who has an unparalleled sense of humor. I get the feeling he had to hone a lot of that behind that bar. You gotta be quick.

4.

[Q] Playboy: Recall the last time someone confused you with your character and was unwilling to acknowledge the difference.

[A] Harrelson: I can't really expect anything else. Even so, I have turned down movie roles—like a rapist, once—in which I would be too different from Woody. I've looked for parts that are an appropriate transition, like my character in Doc Hollywood. He had some of Woody's innocence, but he was considerably more in touch with his sexuality. [Smiles] Not that he was getting much sex, but he was kind of charged sexually. Jack Nicholson said that he always approaches his roles in terms of that character's sexuality. That was really interesting—besides realizing that Jack must perceive all his characters to be perverts. [Laughs] You gotta love him.

5.

[Q] Playboy: Your experience with women is legendary. Some women are wary of a man's extensive experience and some are turned on by it. If a woman stayed overnight and asked, "Woody, do you have an extra toothbrush?" how would you respond?

[A] Harrelson: "What color?" [Laughs] This sometimes comes up in conversation. A woman will say, "Boy, you probably say this all the time. That's a good line." Or, "You've done this a lot." And my response is, "It may be a good line, but I can assure you it's original." I don't have any set pieces. I operate from a standpoint of complete honesty. [Smiles] If a woman asks, "Have you slept with a lot of women?" I'll say yes. If she asks, "Are we going to see each other again?" I'll say I don't know. I would never say yes just to get over. But the more times I was asked, the more likely it would be no.

6.

[Q] Playboy: What does it take to see you twice?

[A] Harrelson: A hell of a body. Oops! [Pauses] See, now the problem with this interview is I know you'll only print that part of the answer. The truth is that it takes someone who's interesting in every aspect, and genuine. That's because I meet so many people who just want to tell me what I want to hear because I'm a celebrity, or making money or whatever. I'd never choose to pursue that as a continuing relationship. [Smiles] Of course, there are some women who are just so completely convincing I could never tell. And a lot of times it didn't matter. [Laughs] Oh boy, I just can't keep my fucking mouth shut.

7.

[Q] Playboy: Was there a time in the dim past when you actually struck out with the opposite sex?

[A] Harrelson: While I've had a lot of experience, a lot of that had to do with my own insecurity and need to feel like a man by having as much sex as I could. I always felt like such a dweeb when I was younger. I thought I didn't appeal to women. Now I don't have any problems—and haven't for a while. But when I was younger, I went to a private school for four years—the grammar (continued on page 184)Harrelson(continued from page 137) school years—and there were only two girls in the entire school. I had only brothers, and no female friends. I had no real, solid interaction with girls. When I finally got back into public school, and was really getting into the social scene, my mom came home one time and said, "Your teacher told me you're very popular with the students." I didn't know the meaning of the word. But by golly, my mom approved, and I wanted to do everything I could to perpetuate that approval. [Pauses] But don't get me wrong: I've thought I was attractive since I was about five. I just didn't think that girls thought I was attractive. I would look at a picture and say, "Well, there's a handsome guy." [Laughs] But I just didn't seem to be getting it from the other gender.

8.

[Q] Playboy: When a guy is beginning to become comfortable with his sexuality, what do you think drives it—variety, intensity or any warm body that says, "Oh, all right"?

[A] Harrelson: Definitely variety. But if I were to put it into one word, I would say the challenge. That's the way we're conditioned. I don't know how many times I've felt as if a girl was just completely offering herself up to me and I had no interest whatsoever. It didn't have anything to do with her attractiveness, it had to do with the challenge. That's what has to carry on into the relationship, because when you get to know someone, if they suddenly start to love you kind of unconditionally, they're no challenge on a deeper level. That we've been conditioned that way is criminal, but it's something I'm working on in my life.

9.

[Q] Playboy: Is it proper to exploit the morning erection?

[A] Harrelson: I have no moral qualms about that. [Laughs] You know what my name means—hard-on.

10.

[Q] Playboy: A few years ago, you married Neil Simon's daughter Nancy in Tijuana on a whim, planning to get divorced the next day. But the divorce office was closed on Sunday. Did her dad, one of our premiere humorists, find the episode funny?

[A] Harrelson: Not at first. [Smiles] For me, the whole point was doing something just for the fun of it. I do a lot of things on a whim that maybe wouldn't be kosher. He was not happy at first because he thought I was doing it because (a) she was his daughter and (b) because I wanted to get some money out of it—a concern that, as a father in his circumstance, I would definitely have. At the time, I was just an understudy in a play he was doing, and he didn't know me. He knew I was dating his daughter, but it's not like I hung out with the family. At the time, I would have been much too intimidated. [Pauses] We were just down in Mexico and, man, everywhere you looked, it was Marriage/Divorce, so it just seemed like the thing to do. Every other American was down there for that reason.

11.

[Q] Playboy: Even though you planned to get divorced almost immediately, were you a nervous groom?

[A] Harrelson: Actually, during the ceremony, there was something about the way the guy married us that lent a very serious quality to it. We're like yuk-yuk-yuk, this is fun. And he's saying solemnly, "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold"—whatever—"in sickness and in health?" And I'm, like, ha-ha, ha-ha, I-i-i-i d-o-o-o. Yeah, it did make me kind of nervous. But then, afterward, we got drunk and forgot about it. I believe we got a bottle of mescal, ate the worm, found a room—things like that. But then, we wanted to get divorced the next day and we couldn't.

12.

[Q] Playboy: As Brooke Shields's first public boyfriend, did you enjoy a cordial relationship with her mother?

[A] Harrelson: Um, I knew her mother about as intimately as I knew her, so there's really little merit to that story about me and Brooke. We went out a couple of times. A couple of nights. And it was pretty much over. We hung out as friends after that. And even relatively recently, we've hung out. I don't remember the last time. She's a cool person, but I don't think we're the stuff affairs are made of. In fact, I would definitely say we're not. I don't know how that ever happened.

13.

[Q] Playboy: You rent a Malibu home. You own a Beverly Hills house. You own a Big Bear retreat. What purchases remain to complete your investment package?

[A] Harrelson: I just bought a place in Paris. But lately, truly, I've been thinking, Simplify, simplify, simplify. So I'll probably have to give up all that stuff soon. In fact, I was talking this morning about liquidating everything. Until I went to Africa last year and lived in a tent outside Nairobi for a few weeks, I didn't realize how easily and how in tune with your environment you can live. All I really need is a piece of land and a tepee. And some clean water, which may be the hardest of all to find.

14.

[Q] Playboy: You recently went to Machu Picchu. See anything you just didn't believe?

[A] Harrelson: I saw the invisible. And I touched the intangible. [Pauses] I know. What does that mean? Well, in a sense, it's ineffable. [Laughs] Society says that unless something is right in front of your eyes, it doesn't exist. And it makes those who believe that it does exist seem foolish. I went with a friend. I'd never even heard of Machu Picchu, but I've always felt like I'm supposed to go with the flow. Life seems just to take care of me. I'm an optimist and a romantic. At Machu Picchu, a transformation definitely occurred. Energy cannot be destroyed. So obviously, when this body is gone, there is some life force that continues. Some energy. My trip was about getting in touch with that energy, though I have no words to describe it—and I'm a hell of a long way from really understanding it.

15.

[Q] Playboy: Describe a moment in your life that will never go away.

[A] Harrelson: I've had a lot of moments like that. Here's one: I was doing this play with John Cassavetes. Gena Rowlands and Carol Kane were in it. Then I had an opportunity to do a movie in Italy. I wanted to be a movie star so bad. So my agent said, "You have to go." It wasn't even a clear thing, but he felt certain I could sell myself. He said, "This is just a short-run play. You have to go." I'd been working on the play a month.

To me, John Cassavetes was one of the greatest artists who ever existed. I would sit with my journal in rehearsals and write down everything that he said, because he was like Faulkner. He told such riveting stories. He had a wonderful love. Very childlike guy—and he was dying at this point. The day came when I had to tell him that I was leaving his play. I'll never forget sitting next to him, trying to tell him. Before I could say anything, he said, "Don't tell me that you're leaving me." And I started crying. I knew, more intensely than at any other time in my life, that this was something absolutely wrong—and I went ahead and did it anyway. It's probably the one regret I have in my life. If I ever could go back, I'd do it differently.

16.

[Q] Playboy: You've been an outspoken critic of the war with Iraq. You even got bumped from the Mardi Gras parade for your beliefs. Now that we've won, have we really won?

[A] Harrelson: It's pretty obvious to most people, including those who were one hundred percent behind this war. The war's over, and there's a tally of at least four hundred thousand people dead. Oil wells were burning out of control, which was the world's worst ecological disaster. And Saddam Hussein is still alive. Now, did we win? I certainly don't think you can say that we did.

17.

[Q] Playboy: You've lived inside the skin of Woody Boyd for a number of years now. What are the advantages of being dumb, especially in Hollywood?

[A] Harrelson: I've always considered Woody naïve, not dumb. If anything, an idiot savant. He has an amazing knowledge of trivia and can beat anybody at chess.

When I was young, I used to love Jerry Lewis. I thought he was hysterical. He had [goes nasal] that character you could consider dumb or dim-witted. I remember thinking that he was a cool persona. In junior high school, one of the most popular girls in school was with one of the most popular guys. And they were razzing me, asking me about what the date was, and I was playing dumb and pretending I didn't know. They kept going on: "Well, what's the month?" "What's the year?" And I pretended I didn't know. I seemed like such a fool, but I was just happy to be getting all this attention. I had just changed schools. I didn't care if they thought I was dumb or anything as long as they were paying attention to me. So, in that sense, playing dumb, naive, literally can be pretty amusing—as long as someone's laughing.

In Hollywood, the best time to play dumb is when it's time to negotiate.

18.

[Q] Playboy: Who's the smartest person you know, and why?

[A] Harrelson: Sean Young. [Laughs] Based on the fact that she can go on working after pulling the stuff she does.

19.

[Q] Playboy: What's the last thought-provoking thing someone said to you?

[A] Harrelson: Wesley Snipes, my co-star in White Men Can't Jump, said to me that he thought I had the heart of a brother. Which is quite a compliment.

20.

[Q] Playboy: What items of your clothes can your girlfriend wear without asking you? What stuff does she have to ask about, and what stuff is always off limits?

[A] Harrelson: If I indeed had a girlfriend, she could wear anything she wanted. Except there was one alpaca sweater—brown with little llamas on it—that was off limits to everybody. I put so much value into that sweater. I don't know why. It was the only article of clothing I really felt seriously attached to. And I'm saying "was" because I'll be damned if I didn't lose it. There's a lesson there, somewhere. The rest of my stuff is up for grabs. I've never been all that attached to clothes, and if you saw my wardrobe, you might understand why.

up close and personal, hollywood's cheeriest naïf talks about the need for extra toothbrushes, his tijuana marriage and when it's best to play dumb