The Year in Sex

Nothin' says Lovin' Like Something in the oven

Demi Moore's cover bow on August's Vanity Fair inspired controversy (some outlets refused to stock it) and a flock of imitations—among them (from left) Spy's cover of her spouse, Bruce Willis; an Entertainment Weekly sketch of unwed papa-to-be Warren Beatty; Paul Conrad's cartoon of "Mother Russia" gestat-ing liberty; and Mike Peters' riff on Saddam Hussein's nuclear potential. Meanwhile, Simon Le Bon shelled out £1000 for a photo of his wife, Yasmin, très enceinte; and Arlette Schweitzer carried her own infertile daughter's twins. But Art Garfunkel's wife, Kathryn, turned out to be the mother of it all: Her pregnant photo appeared in Rolling Stone's January 24 issue, a good seven months earlier than Demi's.

Keep it in your Pants!

If he'd rented the video, he might have saved himself a heap of trouble. Luckless Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee-wee Herman, was busted by overzealous Sarasota cops for doing what comes naturally in an adult-film theater; his show was yanked, but a run on his toys ensued.

Empress' New Clothes

The see-through fashions of the Sixties are making a comeback—at least on the runways of the ready-to-wear show in Milan. Yes, quipped a journalistic observer, but is anyone ready to wear them?

Musta happened in Al Capone'S Vault

No, it's not the title of Pee-wee's memoirs: Exposing Myself, which hit bookstores this fall, is the steamy autobiography of TV host Geraldo Rivera. To his claims of conquest, a denial came immediately from Margaret Trudeau (below right), but Bette Midler got even, saying Geraldo was "lousy" in bed.

A peacock and Bull story

Despite a network exec's assurance that, "Corporately, we believe in orgasms," nervous Nellies at NBC snipped a Sisters steam-room chat on multiple orgasms. (Scissored dialog: Alex: "I had five once. New Year's Eve, 1981." Georgie: "What a memory!" Alex: "What a New Year's.")

Wet Dreamin central park

New Yorkers took it in stride when a Brazilian troupe performed A Midsummer Night's Dream in (1) Central Park, (2) Portuguese and (3) the nude. Below, fairies bathe Titania.

What a Perestroika!

Muscovites got their first look at yet another capitalist invention, the monokini, as temperatures soared into the mid-80s this summer. Above, some topless glasnost enthusiasts sun-bathe near the shores of the Moskva River.

Bum Rap for Boots

Bluenoses are busy in the magazine industry, too. Ski, Skiing and Snow Country turned down these Nordica ads, reportedly "on moral grounds." The rejection, however, earned oceans of free ink for the ski-boot manufacturer.

We'll have what they're having

Here's to the workday uniforms worn by dancers at Café Risqué (above left) on Interstate 75 near Gainesville, Florida, and the waitresses at Long Beach, California's, Pegasus Restaurant (above right).

Keep it in your pants!

It was bad enough when the pageant's owner called him a "serial buttocks fondler." Now Mike Tyson is charged with raping a Miss Black America contestant.

Preachers who live in Glass Houses....

Marvin Gorman (bottom left) sued Jimmy Swaggart (below right), claiming that Swaggart's allegations of multiple adulteries hurt his ministry. The jury agreed. Then Jimmy got caught in a Jaguar with a prostitute.

Let's hear a little something in the key of 36B

In tribute to the bicentennial of Mozart's death, ingenious Japanese crafted a limited-edition bra that, when hooked, plays the composer's variations on Ah! vous dirais-je, maman (a.k.a. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star). Down under in Australia, Roy Menzel, 80, blows tunes on a condom.

The fridge was Runner-Up

Jecquin Stitt, winner of a Ladies' Home Journal's Oprah look-alike contest, was revealed to be a guy who's having a sex change. The Journal, noting "We don't believe in sexual discrimination," let him keep the prize.

Just Buff it dry, please

Must be something in the water in Fort Lauderdale (see the next spread for further details). Here's one more reason to envy Floridians their subtropical climate: a topless car wash.

Last tango in South bend

When Indiana authorities banned topless dancing at spots such as South Bend's Kitty Kat Lounge, the Supreme Court, to the dismay of civil libertarians, let them get away with it. (A Californian at right shows what Hoosiers are missing.)

She Schtupps to Conquer

Skin is in at Chicago's Halsted Theater Center, as Lenore Zann and Tom Hodges couple in Unidentified Human Remains and the True Nature of Love, which later moved off-Broadway.

Two Balls, no strikes and a hole in one

Airing tape of a streaker at a Cubs-Braves game in Atlanta (below left) won suspensions for some staffers at Chicago's WMAQ-TV, but London tabloids treated Sherrie Beavan's starkers British Open stroll as a matter of course.

Cock Au Vin

Reproducing Jean Dubuffet's Bedecked Nude on a Clos Pe-gase wine label was too much for the Feds' Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms; it prescribed surgery.

Keep 'Em in your blouse!

Performance tart Annie Sprinkle is everywhere, signing her autobiography, Post Pom Modernist, starring in Rip Off Press comics and appearing at Neikrug gallery's Rated X show.

I got old, babe

Mayor Sonny Bono had thongs banished from Palm Springs, California; folks in Round Lake Beach, Illinois, petitioned to follow suit.

Lust in the Dust

After polling its readers, Biblical Archeology Review published photos of erotic images on 1500-year-old lamps unearthed in a dig at Ashkelon, Israel (left)—but on a page that priggish readers could easily remove.

Those wedding knells are breaking up that old gang of mine

Three days beforehand, Julia Roberts and Kiefer Sutherland canceled their nuptials, disappointing 200 invitees but not gossips, who spotted her with his old pal Jason Patric (bottom left) and him with stripper Amanda Rice (bottom right).

Nothing...Uhh...comes between...Uhh...Me and my... Oooh!

What product is Calvin Klein advertising here? This, and 115 more pages inserted in some copies of October's Vanity Fair, promotes jeans.

And the horse you rode in on

Some things are better left untranslated. Thanks to the sharp-eyed Playboy reader who spotted this sign in the window of a Malaysian travel agency.

North of Miami vice: Sex, Lists and video tape

Professed smut-buster Doug Danziger (inset, above) resigned as vice mayor of Fort Lau-derdale when it was rumored he was on the list of clients of an alleged prostitution biz run by Deputy Sheriff Jeffrey Willets and his wife, Kathy (above). The Willets' novel defense: She turned tricks while he taped from a closet as therapy for (1) her nymphomania and (2) his impotence.

Keep it in your pants!

Virginia Senator Charles Robb stepped into the clay-footed slippers of a long line of legislators from Wilbur Mills to Ted Kennedy when beauty queen Tai Collins, posing for Playboy, revealed details of her relationship with him during his term as governor. She says it was sexual; he swears he just got a massage.

Six no Trump

At presstime, the media have tried to link the Donald with (clockwise, from top left) Ivana, his apparently pantyless ex; Italian model Carla Bruni; tennis tyke Monica Seles, who hid out at the Trump estate after ditching Wimbledon; Maria maples, whose June breakup, July sparkler and September breakup with Trump gave headline writers a workout; Miss America, Carolyn Suzanne Sapp, who denied bragging to contestants of dating Donald; and Rowanne Brewer, a late-1990-early-1991 squeeze.

Keep Em in your blouse!

We thought that's what they were for: This People magazine shot of former Today co-anchor Deborah Norville nursing her infant son, Niki, was reportedly a factor in NBC's letting her go.

Shakin' Baker

Here's a motive for hooking up to cable: Lynn Whitfield's Emmy award-winning performance in HBO's critically acclaimed The Josephine Baker Story as the legendary entertainer whose erotic dancing rocked tour Paris.

Keep it in your pants!

Charges and countercharges flew as William Kennedy Smith (top) was arrested for raping a Florida woman at the Kennedy family compound in Palm Beach over Easter weekend. Michele Cassone, a waitress who was also present at the compound, took advantage of her moment in the spotlight until A Current Affair reporter Steve Dunleavy confronted her on camera with explicit photos from a racy past she'd denied. So she bit him.

Now you see 'Em, Now you dont

The ad above was published in Newsweek February 4. Two weeks later, it reappeared—with the alteration shown in the inset. Even a hint of cleavage is too much for Disney.

Subliminal Sex

We'd say ad-agency artists are having fun with us. Check the ecstatic lip-smacker enjoying Cool Whip Lite and Macy's oh-so-erect wooden soldiers.

Further adventures of the action Jacksons

La Toya Jackson posed for Playboy to celebrate publication of her autobiography, in which she says her dad, Joseph (below), beat her Abused her sexually, too, she told reporters. Her parents called, then canceled, a press conference to refute the allegations.

Prurient Pastry

The Lutheran pastor who married porn star/parliamentarian Nona "Cicciolina" Staller and sculptor Jeff Koons in Budapest imposed a condition: "No more advertising of free love." Hmmm. Did he see the cake?

in which we bid farewell to 1991—a rich stew of scandal, priggishness and fecundity