20 questions: Heather Locklear

As Amanda Woodward on the reinvigorated "Melrose Place," Heather Locklear, 33, is the perfect Los Angeles landlord. She's blonde, beautiful and lives on the premises. She's nosy and expects the rent on time. On TV shows past, we might simply have called her the bitch. On "Melrose Place," Locklear goes bitch one better, and everyone loves her for it. They also love that she has a résumé that includes "Dynasty," "T.J. Hooker," assorted TV movies and her exercise video, "Heather Locklear Presents Your Personal Workout," not to mention her marriage to and divorce from Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee. Through it all, Locklear has remained the wholesome party girl next door. Contributing Editor David Rensin met with Locklear in Los Angeles. "Heather loves champagne. I wish I had known that before I arrived empty-handed."

1.

[Q] Playboy: These days most women in America won't take phone calls between nine and ten P.M. on Wednesday evenings because they're glued to Melrose Place. Explain the show's appeal to women

[A] Locklear: They like it because the women hold all the power--which is as it should be--and the men have no balls. So often women are on the other side of that coin. It is also great to see the men take off their shirts for a change. It's great to see the men get beat up a little bit in relationships. We don't want to make it like the guys are just dumb, of course. They are smart, but the women are just smarter. Also, the women get to have as much sex as they want and jump from bed to bed. No one's going to give them shit for it. Or at least they won't give them Amanda shit for it. Naturally, the actresses are real happy with the this arrangement. As for the actors, I don't know about Andrew, but Grant's like, "Give me back my balls, please." He's always fighting it. He goes, "Look, come on! I look like a wimp here. I need some balls." I'm saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up, lie down and stay hard."

2.

[Q] Playboy: On Dynasty, Sammy Jo was a slut. On Melrose Place, Amanda's a slut with an agenda. Is this progress?

[A] Locklear: It's just intelligence. [Laughs] When I got the role I said I wanted Amanda to be an intelligent, aggressive businesswoman in her 30s. I'm finished with playing twenty-something. They added all the sluttiness later. But I figure as long as I look smart doing it, that's fine. At first, Amanda's role was described as "adding a character for a while," a love interest for Billy. Then they added the little conflict with Alison, who wasn't competitive or a bitch. Actually, she's a whiner. Unlike other shows, Melrose Place has no bible mandating what will happen. If a couple of scenes seem to work in dailies, they'll run with it. If the audience picks up on it, they'll run with it. And they'll drop all other story lines to focus on the good one.

3.

[Q] Playboy: Describe the story line that you would like to see, but which the writers and producers would never think of.

[A] Locklear: I would have Amanda do really offbeat stuff, like going to a humiliation-sex club. Get some tattoos! Rough her up a bit. Something different, weird. I don't know if Amanda would don the gear, but she could watch. We would see her reaction, her darker side. I'd like to see her say, "I have to finish this meeting, get this advertising stuff over with, so I can get to the club!" She carries the whip in her briefcase. And a black mask. Just a little hard-core.

4.

[Q] Playboy: Amanda sleeps with guys below her station. Billy is a good example. Is that something a woman in your position should avoid in real life?

[A] Locklear: I've definitely done it. It's kind of awkward. Not that one person's smarter than the other--there's just a difference in what you've experienced in life. It might work for some people, but never for me or the people I've been with. It doesn't mean that because the guy is a gas station attendant and the woman is an executive, they can't relate. I just need more equality--someone on the same level. [Smiles] My experiences were OK, just not my favorite. I don't like paying for everything. Also, when you've been in a business so long and somebody else is so green and excited about it and everything is new, it's almost like being a teacher. You don't want somebody to be so fascinated that they can't relate to you on a real level. It's not the difference in earning power, though--as long as he doesn't say, Take me here, take me there. And no autograph requests, either.

5.

[Q] Playboy: What does producer Aaron Spelling know about what America wants to watch? What need in the American psyche does he address?

[A] Locklear: If I knew, I would be doing it myself.

6.

[Q] Playboy: When was the last time you were mistaken for Heather Thomas?

[A] Locklear: Just recently. A police car pulled up next to me on Santa Monica Boulevard. These two cops waved hello. One of them rolled down the window and said, "He thinks you're Heather Thomas. I say you're Locklear." I go, "Give him a ticket." He goes, "Do you want me to punch him for you?" I said, "Yeah," so he punched him! It never ends. Another example: Just after my ex-husband and I had started going out, we were having a three-hour phone conversation. Finally, we hung up, but moments later he called back, excited. "Heather! Heather! Heather!" he said. "You're on TV right now!" I thought, I'm not on TV tonight. Then I realized that he thought I was Heather Thomas. I said, "Are you watching The Fall Guy?" and he said, "Yeah." So, I was like, "Maybe you don't want to go out with me, because I'm not her." Fabulous. Then I said, "I will forgive you. You're lucky you get to go out with me." If I knew then what I know now.

7.

[Q] Playboy: If you could have been granted any one of Tommy's tattoos in the divorce settlement, which one would you have picked?

[A] Locklear: The one that says "Heather," of course. It's on his arm. It's a black rose with a banner. It's very pretty. Actually, all of his tattoos are pretty, taken one by one.

8.

[Q] Playboy: When you were on T.J. Hooker, who spent more time looking in the mirror? You, James Darren or William Shatner?

[A] Locklear: I think they were neck and neck. It wasn't me, believe it or not. [Laughs] Remember, I was 21, and at that age you can stay up all night and not wear any makeup and still look good. But I was totally intimidated by William Shatner. Whenever I did scenes with Adrian Zmed, I felt very comfortable. We'd start and then all of a sudden William Shatner would come in. I'd have two lines left and flub them. I don't know why that happened.

9.

[Q] Playboy: Pretend a Locklear is the name of a wrestling hold, a car and a medical procedure. Describe each.

[A] Locklear: [Laughs] As a wrestling hold, it would be a leglock around the waist. As a car, it would be sleek and smooth and black and long. [Embarrassed laugh] And as a medical procedure [very long pause], I don't know, but my crotch comes to mind--maybe because I just came from the gynecologist.

10.

[Q] Playboy: There's a bristly tension between Amanda and Alison, a sort of underlying sexual attraction. Under what circumstances would Amanda do something about it?

[A] Locklear: [Smiles] I think it's between Heather and Courtney, but yeah, you could say Amanda and Alison. I think Amanda wouldn't mind following up if she knew she would get a really good account from it.

11.

[Q] Playboy: Who is the role model for your rigorous work ethic?

[A] Locklear: My mom. She's always busy, always working. She worked when we were younger. And she encouraged me. She always said, "Heather, dance on tables. Go do it." I've always remembered that--especially the time I was dancing with no underwear on a table. "But my mother said I could!"

12.

[Q] Playboy: Describe the pleasures and horrors of bikini waxing.

[A] Locklear: Did it this morning! To myself. I do it to all my girlfriends. The pleasure is that it's smooth and beautiful, and perfectly manicured. The horror is the stickiness that you can't get off. I can live without it. Just use a razor.

13.

[Q] Playboy: When would you just as soon have a man do it?

[A] Locklear: I'd like to say all the time. But I know I do a lot of "Let's do equal," "Let's split," "I can open my own door" stuff. Because I'm an idiot! Because I want to be independent. I want to make sure that I can stand on my own two feet. Well, OK, Heather, you've made sure. Now let them pay.

14.

[Q] Playboy: You made an exercise video. Ever pull anything while working out?

[A] Locklear: No, but there's this really weird thing with my calf muscles. My calves are just skinny and weak and gross. When I clench them too many times, it starts to feel really funny in a certain place. I have to stop immediately because I don't know what will happen. Is that weird or what? I've asked my girlfriends if this happens to them. My trainer says, "There she goes!" And I say [out of breath], "OK, I have to stop!" I have to hold back. At least when I'm in the gym. [Laughs] Another thing that does it is playing Ms. Pac-Man. This is the stupidest thing. If I get really into the game, I go, "Oh, I have to stop!" Maybe you shouldn't use this. That's all I'm going to say about this. But maybe someone will give me a Ms. Pac-Man. Champagne, Ms. Pac-Man and calf exercises, and I'm in heaven.

15.

[Q] Playboy: How much do you enjoy watching yourself on-screen?

[A] Locklear: I definitely don't. I can't get past the physical parts that I don't like. I shouldn't tell you which because then you'll say, "Yeah, you're right." [Pauses] OK, OK. Well, usually my hair's not combed right. I have a real problem combing my hair, as you can tell right now. My mother says, "Heather, can you please brush your hair before you leave the house?" and I just don't. To me I look better messy, but it's not good when they're trying to make it neat and it stays messy. And, let's see... my roots. And the shadows on my nose and sometimes the wrinkles around my eyes.

16.

[Q] Playboy: We're certainly not suggesting one, but is there a face-lift in your future?

[A] Locklear: I'd probably do it, except that I saw the procedure in a magazine--oh my God! Yuck! The skin away from the muscle? You could see the cheek. Oh, God, yuck! That freaked me out. After I saw that, it just seemed too weird. Scary. Besides, afterward it looks weird. You look like an alien. But who knows? I might be an alien 20 years from now going, "Yeah, I got a good night's sleep!"

17.

[Q] Playboy: Describe your favorite pajamas.

[A] Locklear: Locklear: I have cotton long Johns with feet. Buttons on the front and safety pins holding on half the buttons. There's a seat that pulls down, so I don't have to get cold when I go to the bathroom. The safety pins are not a fashion statement. I just haven't had the time to take a needle and thread and fix the buttons.

18.

[Q] Playboy: What would you like to do for Wayne and Garth to show your appreciation for their Locklear devotion?

[A] Locklear: I'd get them backstage passes to a Motley Crue concert.

19.

[Q] Playboy: On Melrose Place you collect the rent. What do you collect for real?

[A] Locklear: Beige lipsticks. Not that I mean to. I have this problem. Every time I see a certain shade of beige when I'm walking through a department store, it's, "Oh, let me see this! Oh, look at this!" My girlfriend will say, "You have 30 of them at home." Then I'll see another one and I'll have to stop. She'll say, "Would you hurry? We have to go!" Then, "Do you know what? You have a problem. You have too many beige lipsticks. You will have to go to Beige Anonymous."

20.

[Q] Playboy: Under what circumstances do you wear red lipstick?

[A] Locklear: Can't answer that. But if I have red nails and red lipstick, there's only one thing I'm about to do. Calf exercises.

the babe who owns melrose place explains the hazards of dating below your station, why women should have all the power, and the unexpected joys of calf exercises