Totally Tahnee

Ten Years Ago, Tahnee Welch fell to earth in the movie Cocoon, as an adorable alien from the planet Antarea. In an interplanetary safe-sex scene that wowed film buffs, she turned her love-light on Steve Guttenberg and brought him to out-of-this-world orgasm (with the help of computer graphics, of course). Tahnee had arrived. But after a recurring stint on Falcon Crest and the lead in Cocoon: The Return, she decided to leave the spotlight. She began shuttling between New York and Rome, where she found a niche in the world of Italian filmmaking. This was a chance to hone her craft with minimal distractions, an ocean away from all the mother-daughter articles and expectations that accompanied her debut in the United States.

If Tahnee left as an unformed ingenue, this pictorial and a new role in the upcoming film I Shot Andy Warhol mark her return to the scene as a mature woman. You can see it as she walks through Barolo, an airy restaurant in Soho, speaking better Italian than the waiters and gently chiding the maîtresse d' that she'd like to sit someplace cool, inside, not in the garden. All the while she never loses her smile.

''This will probably be the hottest interview you'll ever do,'' she says, commenting on the engulfing heat that had settled in New York City. ''It would be a hot interview even in winter,'' I venture. She laughs at my lame compliment. There's a steady playfulness in her expression, an indication that this woman knows what she's about in life.

It wasn't always so. The success of Cocoon ''scared the bejesus out of me,'' she recalls. ''Rather than milk it, I went the other way. No big old fat career for me. I didn't have the temperament. I wasn't able to take on that burden-- but people assumed I could. They considered it odd for me to say, 'No, I don't even want to try to take on this professional responsibility right now. Can I please keep my feet on the ground?' I always wanted to have a well-rounded life. I had a lot of living to do and it wasn't all about being in the loop. I loved films--but for the creativity, not the money.''

Like any good storyteller, Tahnee has a variety of accents at her command. When explaining her relaxed, dolce vita approach to life, she suddenly turns Italian: ''Two and two, maybe it's five. It's OK,'' she says with a lusty accent and mad gestures. Later she'll take on the airs of a diva: ''I worship no one.'' Her joking is infectious. ''What's your favorite color?'' I ask. ''Oh,'' she squeals like an airhead, ''I like them all.''

Recently she found a natural fit with the role of Viva, the comically strange Factory acolyte, in the Warhol film (due for release in spring). To start the second phase of her American career, she's decided to go for arty and independent films--movies in which she's not always cast as ''the girlfriend.''

''Viva gave me a chance to do a lot more character work than is possible in most big-budget films,'' she says.

''There were lots of women and gay men on the set and it was shot in New York, so it had a different vibe. When you know you're working on a good film, the feeling is 'Yippee!' When the film is bad, you die a heavy death on the set every day.'' Not that her preference for working outside the mainstream always pays off. I tell her that the Hugh Grant scandal has resulted in strong video rentals of Night Train to Venice, a European film she did two years ago with Grant and Malcolm McDowell.

Tahnee now thinks of the movie as Night Train to Nowhere. ''At least they paid us well,'' she says with a laugh. ''We were never able to make sense of the script, and the director was the equivalent of a parking attendant. People were falling in canals and the Italians and Germans always argued. It was a big disaster. One day Malcolm, who was dressed as a dark, serious figure, was standing on the bow of a gondola hearse. People on the canal banks were making the sign of the cross, so he whirled around and gave them a wildly obscene gesture. Everybody was so surprised they burst out laughing. He was the only one who was a dream to work with--he's a great actor,''

For Tahnee, a bad film is hardly the worst thing in the world. In an unthinkable move for most Hollywood kids, she dropped out of private school at the age of 16 and left home.

''I was shy but rebellious,'' she says. ''I couldn't stand putting up a front. When I dropped out, I wanted to say, 'What are you going to do, handcuff me to the desk?' It was exhilarating. I ran off to do whatever I liked, which, at 16, wasn't much. I figured that out after a while. Oops! I don't have a bank account. I don't know how to call for electricity.''

It was hand to lovely mouth for a while, as she did odd jobs and housecleaning. Then the wild child moved to New York, which reminded her of her early childhood in Europe. ''In New York City, I was among the many. I loved the whole thing about being a grain in a sandbank.''

Doing the unexpected is one of the reasons she is thrilled to be in Playboy. ''The best reason for posing nude is that it's about beauty. I never thought I'd do Playboy. Ever. The idea came up and I just had this stupid grin on my face. There is a certain amount of mischievousness to it that I enjoyed. I know I'm not Miss Sex-Thang, I'm just a plain Jane.''

I try to correct her on this last point.

''Thanks,'' she replies in her amused way. ''I always thought of myself as a long-distance runner. I don't have a Filofax or a cellular phone.

''I think everyone has a time and some people come into it early, some late. I think I'm just coming into it, personally and professionally. I'm happy and secure that I'm doing it the right way. I knew as I got older that I would get better--if a bit slowly.''