The Year in Sex

Washington Family Values

Slipping in political muck, bipartisan architects of family-values campaigns emerged with feet of clay. First the Star caught Clinton advisor Dick Morris (top far right, with pissed-off wife Eileen McGann) wooing call girl Sherry Rowlands (above); then allegations of a mistress and six-year-old love child surfaced. Morris' reward: A $2.5 million book deal. Next, the Enquirer fingered Dole strategist Roger Stone and wife Nikki (below right) as secret swingers. When Stone denied it, the tabloid produced a photograph and a canceled check.

Politics makes strange Bedfellows

Can't charge these candidates with hypocrisy: Jessi Winchester (left), who worked at Carson City's Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel, sought a Nevada congressional seat on the Democratic ticket. Her slogan: "Vote for Jessi or I'll tell your wife!" In San Diego, dominatrix Mistress Madison ran for Congress under the banner of Ross Perot's Reform Party. In Palm Springs, drag queen Kitty Cole—an impressive 6'5" before donning his/her spike heels—ran for mayor. (All three lost. So much for truth in politics.)

Christian Family Values

In the Seattle suburb of Federal Way, Christian Life Prep School administrator Bob Willey fired teacher David Toman when he and Mrs. T. had a son 7-1/2 months after wedding. School officials suspect premarital sex. Below, the family pickets the school.

Who says Yeltsin is losing his grip?

Boris Yeltsin, a grad of the Bob Packwood School of Social Graces, startles a Kremlin secretary with a playful grope.

In-Laws not Included

Anna Eriksson, a model for Playboy Newsstand Specials (right), vows that she will wed Lyle Menendez. Gives a whole new meaning to the term shotgun wedding.

Dennis the Menace

Professionally outrageous Chicago Bull Dennis Rodman bares all in his salty autobiography, Bad As I Wanna Be.

Game, set and Snatch At Wimbledon

Melissa Johnson—a true tennis buff—salutes appreciative Wimbledon contestants Richard Krajicek (left) and MaliVai Washington.

Dennis the Menace II

Telling the press he was getting married, a cross-dressing Rodman showed up in bridal attire to flog his book in Manhattan. It worked, too: Bad made bestseller lists.

Broads Abroad, Part One

In Europe, where nudity is no big deal, American beauties bare more. Here's Cindy Crawford in the French edition of Photo.

Runaway schoolbBuss

Johnathan Prevette, six, was suspended from school for kissing a classmate. That whirring sound is Norman Rockwell spinning in his grave.

Monaco family Values

Princess Stephanie filed for divorce when hubby Daniel Ducruet was photographed fooling around with dancer Fili Houteman, a.k.a. Miss Nude Belgium (right).

Personals for royals and theirpPals

attention, chuck, di, andy, fergie, edward, sophie, camila, lilibet and phil:

get a life!

DW mom, 35, tall, busty blonde, former kindergarten teacher enjoying generous divorce settlement, seeks military man with no ambitions in publishing. Love steamy letters, charity work. Can provide sons.

Redhead, 37, modestly plump, ISO S/DM with comfortable salary and impeccable credit. I'm a Libra who enjoys writing children's books, beach getaways, skiing, champagne and having my toes sucked.

DWM, 36, Falklands war hero, goofy grin, obsessed with golf, enjoy burgers, baked beans, R-rated film stars. Applicants must be prepared to get on well with other women in life: ex-wife, daughters, former girlfriends.

SWM, former Royal Marine, engaged to be engaged, looking to sow wild oats. Dapper 32, self-made businessman who enjoys seafood, Mars bars, theater, pumps and circumstance.

Prince of a Guy: DWM, 48, Norman-Celtic extraction, good teeth, independently wealthy, well mannered but not above deliriously naughty phone fantasies. Nanny skills a plus.

Distinguished Pensioners, comfortable on the dole but ready to break loose. She: 70, loves racing, corgis, defending the faith. He: 75, Navy man, discreetly roving eye. London area.

DWF aging gracefully as she waits on one true love to clear up sticky situation ISO S/DM for dalliance. Absolutely no phone calls.

SWF seeks short-term romance to spark roomie into declaring intentions. Experience in public relations, potting sheds.

To err is Human, to Solicit Divine

Happy in her work: In Las Vegas, Hugh Grant's pal Divine Brown was busted on prostitution charges.

Gargoyles' Gal

Here's how rising porn star Shayla LaVeaux looks minus gargoyles (see Video, October 1996).

Who Kissed J.R.?

They did dance atop the bar at the Greenwich Village after-hours joint Hogs & Heifers, but the jury is out on whether Julia Roberts and barmaid Margaret Emery actually soul-kissed for "30 to 50 seconds."

The Sexist Who Stole Christmas

The Church of Scotland bumped God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen as sexist and obscure (does a comma follow "ye" or "merry"?).

Pavarotti Family Values

Shots of Luciano Pavarotti and aide Nicoletta Mantovani frolicking in Barbados (above) helped end his 35-year marriage. (Pix of the tenor in a hotel room with an Italian actress irked Nicki, too.)

Anna Nicole Blowout

Ms. Smith had a little accident with her breast implants. Seems like only yesterday she was insisting they were real. But it isn't easy to persuade a Texan that less is more.

Dennis the Menace III

The Worm says he wants to play his last NBA game in the nude. Still, the trading-card company says that's a shadow you see, not D.R. letting it all hang out.

It's a Dummy, Dummy!

Screw suggests that aliens brainwashed Bob Guccione and made him their sex slave. How else to explain the Penthouse chief hyping shots of a prop from an old UFO movie on display in a New Mexico museum as a genuine E.T.?

Broads Abroad, Part Two

Like Cindy Crawford, Sharon Stone reveals more of herself overseas—this time to the readers of British GQ.

Buns of Gold, Silver and Bronze

The 1996 summer Olympics may go down in history as the games that bottomed out, with studs and babes bursting out of skimpy costumes in what the Washington Post called "a gawkfest of sex appeal." We await Sydney in 2000.

Double your pleasure, double your doctors

When identical twins Lydia and Debbie Colbert decided to increase their assets, they asked identical twins Maurizio and Roberto Viel to do the job. After surgery in North London, the girls exchanged their identical 34A bras for 34Cs.

Starfuckers Inc.

Trashing the stars for fun and profit: In You'll Never Make Love in This Town Again, four women who've slept their way around Hollywood spilled the beans on their kinky encounters with Jack, Warren, Sylvester, Dennis, Rod, Vanna, Heidi and so many others. A just-out sequel, Once More With Feeling, may deflate (or embellish) more Tinseltown reputations.

Shock Jock meets Nudestock

Mancow Muller, Chicago radio's answer to Howard Stern, invited listeners to drop trou—and more—and join him for Nudestock, held at the Ponderosa Sun Club in Roselawn, Indiana. Hundreds complied.

Show-And-Tell Barbie

Parents complained that Teacher Barbie's bouffant skirt made it obvious she wasn't wearing panties. In later shipments, Mattel added undies.

Hollywood Family Values

Having babies minus vows (from left) are Keely Shaye Smith and beau Pierce Brosnan, and ex-secretary Kathy Benvin, 34, and Anthony Quinn, 81 (their second—his 13th by two wives, three mistresses). Arissa Wolfe and Steven Seagal, whose other kids she once babysat, had a girl, and Bridget Rooney (of the Steelers clan) claims that Kevin Costner is soon to be a daddy.

Funny, we thought a Titmouse was a bird

For the truly PC-free computer maven, the Booby Trak, model 38DD, looks like a breast, works like a mouse. It's from Track-Em in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Cold Cocked

Reader Tim Carr, sailing the chilly Atlantic on the yacht Curlew, found this impressive ice phallus on the island of South Georgia.

Dennis the Menace IV

He could afford to hire a limo, but Rodman prefers to ride a hog. His tattoos show up better that way.

Bad as a Wannabe

In homage to Dennis, ex-Partridge Danny Bonaduce bestrode a Schwinn and posed starkers for the cover of Chicago's Windy City Sports magazine.

But will they Flunk Crammer?

Rumor said Kelsey Grammer didn't like Tammi Alexander's posing for us (left), so—go figure—he took up with Camille Donatacci (right), who models for Playboy Newsstand Specials. Next, he crashed his Viper and checked into the Betty Ford Center. This man needs a good shrink.

So why's She Complaining?

In Milwaukee, a 73-year-old woman sued St. Florian Catholic Church because, she claimed, she had been experiencing spontaneous orgasms ever since an electronic bingo board fell on her in 1990. The suit was thrown out when the plaintiff failed to undergo a court-ordered psychological exam.

Van Damme Family Values

Darcy LaPier (getting husbandly pat, right) and Jean-Claude Van Damme reconciled when she got pregnant in 1995. She's filed for divorce again and Isabelle Fortea Torrella (above), who has posed for 18 Newsstand Specials, claims she's now knitting booties.