The Playboy Advisor

I thought true male multiple orgasms were a myth, until recently. When my girlfriend and I were having sex during a cruise vacation, I had an orgasm and remained inside her mostly erect. Nothing new. But after catching my breath, I again became fully erect and achieved orgasm with ejaculation within a few minutes. This scenario was repeated twice (my girlfriend actually said, "Again?"--we were both astonished). Short of taking a cruise every weekend, is there a way to attain this level of sensuality on a regular basis?--C.M., Fort Lauderdale, Florida

You may be a natural. Many men have taught themselves to enjoy multiple orgasms by delaying ejaculation through control of the pubococcygeus muscle, a technique that takes some practice, but a rare breed of man apparently can have multiple orgasms--each including ejaculation--without training. Three years ago a 35-year-old man contacted Beverly Whipple, a sex researcher at Rutgers University, claiming he could come repeatedly without any recovery period, and he agreed to demonstrate. Whipple and her colleagues monitored the man's heart rate, pupil dilation and ejaculate volume as he masturbated to a video of his favorite porn scenes. He achieved his first orgasm (and ejaculated) in 20 minutes. Two minutes later he came again. According to Whipple, the man reached orgasm and ejaculated four more times in the next 14 minutes without losing his erection. The Advisor occasionally hears from well-rested men who claim two or even three ejaculations without losing their erections. The guy at Rutgers, however, told researchers he comes five to ten times a day and once reached orgasm and ejaculated five times in six minutes. That's a horse you can bet on.

A friend who is a stereo buff lent me a compact disc and told me to listen to it through headphones. It sounded incredible. He said it was a binaural recording. I've looked in record stores and haven't been able to find another disc like it. Do you have any information?--W.L., Phoenix, Arizona

Most recordings are made for playback through loudspeakers. Binaural CDs are designed to be played through headphones. They are created using a life-size model of a human head equipped with microphones where the ears would be. The recording head is placed in the audience or onstage during performances (or, in the case of nature recordings, carried into the wild) to capture sound as a listener would hear it. The rich 3D effect can be stunning. John Sunier of the Binaural Source (800-934-0442, or www.binaural.com) suggests starting your collection with an audio drama (Stephen King's "The Mist"), nature recording (Gordon Hempton's "Earth Sounds Sampler"), jazz (Jürgen Sturm's "Tango Subversivo") or classical music (either of two discs available on the Auracle label). For an arousing binaural experience, check out "Cyborgasm," a collection of erotic fantasies on CD (800-724-3283). You'll swear the dominatrix is in the room, especially when she walks all the way around your chair.

Have you heard of a sexual position called the A-attack? A buddy who spent some time in Japan mentioned it as something he had done there. He winked at me like I should know what he was talking about, so I said, "Yeah, that's a great one." Can you tell me what it is?--F.W., San Francisco, California

If you visit a Japanese bathhouse and ask your "health girl" for an A-attack, she will stimulate your anus with a vibrator or finger while masturbating you with her free hand. You can also turn the tables and "attack" her. A variation is the A-attack pearl, in which the hostess inserts a string of pearls into her client's anus and then, while blowing him, pulls the string out pearl by pearl. These and other sexual delicacies are described in "Japan's Sex Trade," a guide by Peter Constantine. In daisharin asobi (the "big wheel game"), a "soap lady" lies on top of the man, then slowly rotates her body so he can lick and touch the parts that cross his face. Variations are daisharin, in which the partners rotate in opposite directions, and tokei asobi, in which the woman fellates the man while crawling clockwise around his body. If you're lucky, she'll take an hour to do it rather than a minute.

How can I book an inexpensive flight at the last minute? Every once in a while I get the urge to take off for the weekend. But if I don't book two or three weeks in advance, the cost of a ticket (or two) is out of my price range. --P.R., Tampa, Florida

Not necessarily. Visit Deal Watch at web flyer.com. Sponsored by "Inside Flyer" magazine, the Web site lists last-minute specials on flights, car rentals and hotel rooms. Airlines offer discounts to fill empty seats, so not every route or departure city will be listed. Domestic deals are good for the weekend following the Wednesday they're posted. Most leave on Saturday and return on Monday or Tuesday. International deals are posted on Mondays, with flights leaving Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. You never know where you might end up.

Your response in July to the man with the large penis caught my eye. In my experience, well-endowed men make the worst lovers. They think a big dick is all they need. My best partners had what they considered small (I would say average-sized) penises. But they all had wonderful tongues!--W.S., Cleveland, Ohio

Now we're belittling men with large penises? What's the world coming to? Your letter is a word to the wise. On Playboy TV's "Night Calls," Juli Ashton and Doria have complained that many guys with big dicks never learn to eat pussy properly. Make sure you have something else to offer.

My lover and I enjoy moderate S&M. Lately his kid brother, who attends college nearby, has been asking questions about the more exotic and erotic aspects of sex. My lord and master has decided to give his brother a sex education course, using me as a demonstration model. Lesson one will show how to gently and passionately strip a woman. Lesson two will cover foreplay and a variety of positions. Lesson three will include the delights of oral sex and some pointers on S&M, if that interests him. I'm proud of my body and don't mind displaying it, but I'm concerned about my lover. Although he says he loves the feeling of owning me completely, I don't think he could help but regard me as a whore if he saw me with another man. We've agreed to let you decide if we should go ahead with the plan. --L.R., Washington, D.C.

Let's be honest. This isn't about sex education. It's about fulfilling your sexual fantasies. The only thing the kid will learn in your bedroom is how to fuck his brother's girlfriend. That's not particularly useful in the dating scene. Arranging a threesome--or, technically, a twosome and a voyeur--is complicated enough without involving relatives. Besides, you're overlooking the third heart in this scenario. Your lover's brother may want more than a demonstration model to teach him about sex.

Do you know of a way to speed up Web access? I replaced my 28.8K modem with a 56K but haven't seen much difference. --T.W., Fort Wayne, Indiana

Don't be surprised that your 56K modem never reaches 56K. The best achieve only 40K to 50K. Check that your access provider supports 56K access, and that your modem is dialing the correct number. Open your control panel and make sure your port settings are at the maximum (115K). Remove any device--answering machine, caller ID, surge suppressor--that might be causing interference. Finally, upgrade your modem with the latest version of its "firmware." For more info, visit www.56k.com. The bottleneck also may originate with your access provider's equipment, data traffic jams (common during the day or early evening) or noisy outside lines. Here's a simple test: Borrow a 56K modem that achieves 40K to 50K elsewhere and use it with your computer. If it's slow, your problem is likely on the line. Depending on your need for speed, you might consider another upgrade, to a pricier digital connection. Isn't that how it always works?

A close friend broke up with his girlfriend after an awful fight. The next day she went to his apartment and kicked him hard in the balls when he opened the door. He was in excruciating pain but told me he was too embarrassed to see a doctor. I've never taken a hit like that, but I told him to ice it. Was I right?--E.D., Dallas, Texas

Insist that he see a doctor, and offer to go with him. This assault may have caused permanent damage. The only person who should feel embarrassed is his ex. If your friend is reluctant to see a doctor, he'll probably never report the incident to the police. That's a disservice to the next guy she dates.

On occasion a person writes the Advisor to describe an affair he or she had and how it enhanced his or her sex life, This happened in April, when a woman wrote about an affair she'd had at work. In my view, if you cheat, your marriage is as good as over. You seem to condone this activity, however, calling it sexual "discovery." Do you honestly believe that a woman's sex life and marriage will be better because she screwed around? Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that Playboy encourages its readers to cheat?--J.L., St. Paul, Minnesota

We do not encourage adultery. Never have, never will. The woman you mention didn't cheat to sabotage her marriage. She felt neglected and was confused about how to fix the situation. She realized that fucking a salesman on her desk wasn't the solution. We don't agree with your contention that adultery means a relationship is over. Deception is certainly a sign that something is amiss. But sometimes the cheating heart realizes where it would rather be and returns there.

I have trouble figuring out what "stop" means to a woman. When I am caressing my girlfriend and am about to have sex with her, sometimes she tells me to stop. When I ignore her and persist, it can lead to great sex for both of us. On other occasions she gives me the evil eye when we've finished, complaining that I should have stopped but didn't, and that it turned her off. She always says "stop" in the same tone of voice and with the same urgency. We have been together for five years. How can I tell what she really wants?--L.Y., Kyoto, Japan

You've encountered a problem that always sparks debate: When does no mean no? The easy answer is that no always means no, especially when you're with someone you don't know well. At the same time, many women enjoy being "taken," and a symbolic refusal adds to the drama. Couples who engage in bondage or S&M (where giving up control is part of the fantasy) leave nothing to chance. If the submissive partner wants a situation to end, he or she utters a "safe word" such as red. That allows a woman to say "No! Stop! You animal!" to her heart's content. This sort of engaged fantasy requires communication, however, and it sounds like your relationship lacks that. Guys in long-term relationships usually rely on body language to tell them when to back off and when it's OK to push gently for more. Because you can't figure out when no means maybe, even after five years, take your girlfriend's commands at face value. When she says stop, do just that. No exceptions. No negotiations. No whining. If she then says, "I didn't mean that," let her make the next move. Your goal is to eliminate the games and the regrets.

Some 20 years ago, Playboy printed instructions on how to fold a dollar bill into the Rabbit Head. My husband did and had carried one in his wallet ever since. Two months ago I washed his wallet with his jeans. The dollar bill was flattened, and I feel awful. Can you help me put the Rabbit back in his pocket?--L.G., Lafayette, Indiana

Sure--can you break a hundred? We first shared the Buck Rabbit with readers in December 1979. You'll find the instructions online at www.playboy.com/faq.

A few months ago a reader wrote to ask about superthin condoms. In your reply you neglected to mention polyurethane condoms. Was there a reason?--W.D., Las Vegas, Nevada

We're careful about recommending polyurethane condoms to anyone who isn't allergic to latex, which is the only FDA-approved use for them. The agency has yet to OK the product (made by Durex under the brand name Avanti) as a contraceptive or barrier against sexually transmitted diseases. That's largely because of concerns about its durability. In a study last year involving 800 couples, 8.5 percent of the Avanti condoms broke or slipped off during intercourse or withdrawal, compared with 1.6 percent of latex condoms. About 30 percent of the men said plastic condoms were difficult to put on. Still, polyurethane has its fans. It's twice as thin as latex and allows more heat transfer. It's odorless and safe with oil-based lubricants. Avanti has become a best-seller at stores such as Condomania (800-926-6366), which moves about 1000 a month. That's a lot of allergies.

The letter in April from the man who wants his wife to wear nail polish hit close to home. My husband has started insisting that I wear polish in bed. When I was pregnant, I began primping for him, doing my nails for the first time since high school. He responded enthusiastically, so I let him put on the top coat and then masturbated him after it dried. Now he has almost stopped having sex with me unless I do my nails. When he does, he prefers to go down on me and for me to get him off manually. Lately he has been insisting that I wear press-on nails around the house on weekends. I have thought of hinting that he visit a call girl for his selfish fun and come to me only for mutually satisfying lovemaking. I don't want him to do that, but my wrist and I are getting tired. What can I do to refocus his interest on the rest of my body?--J.O., Chicago, Illinois

It sounds like your husband's nail fetish has gotten out of hand. Given the consuming nature of fetishes, he may not even realize you're frustrated. Have you confronted him about it? (Don't paint your nails before you do.) Remind him of what you've been missing--namely, variety. How bored would he be if all you ever asked for was the missionary position, in the dark, on clean sheets? If you get a blank stare, consider counseling. And don't be afraid to set boundaries. Your husband's fetish can remain in the bedroom, and he has no right to "insist" on anything. The man wants dessert without showing up for the meal.

All reasonable questions--from fashion, food and drink, stereo and sports cars to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette--will be personally answered if the writer includes a self-addressed, stamped envelope. The most provocative, pertinent questions will be presented in these pages each month. Write the Playboy Advisor, Playboy, 680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611, or ad [email protected] (because of volume, we cannot respond to all e-mail inquiries). Look for responses to our most frequently asked questions at www.playboy.com/faq, and check out the Advisor's latest collection of sex tricks, "365 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life" (Plume), available in bookstores or by phoning 800-423-9494.