Playboy's 20Q: Dr. Drew Pinsky

The late-night call-in show "Love-line" airs in 55 radio markets and on MTV. Its co-host Dr. Drew Pinsky has become something of a sex-advice lightning rod, especially among young adults. Who better to talk with the good doctor and assess the cut of his sexual jib than the Playboy Advisor, Chip Rowe? Dr. Drew seemed delighted. Adam Carolla, the comic who has been Pinsky's on-air partner since 1995, seemed hurt. Carolla's favorite magazine had come calling, and it wanted to interview only the voice of reason. How much fun is that?

Pinsky, 40, juggles a hectic schedule that includes tapings for MTV (the program is in its third season), the radio show (based at KROQ in Los Angeles), a general practice in his hometown of Pasadena and duties as a medical director in chemical dependency at a psychiatric hospital. After graduating from Amherst College in 1980, Pinsky obtained his medical degree at the University of Southern California. During his final year there, he volunteered to answer callers' questions at KROQ. That gig evolved into "Loveline," which first aired in 1983.

1

[Q] Playboy: Let's start with the most compelling issue of our time. Is oral sex considered adultery?

[A] Pinsky: Absolutely. The notion of oral sex is bizarre right now. There seems to be a growing understanding that intercourse is a higher level of connection. Women have learned that giving a man oral sex satisfies him for the moment, and there's no push toward intercourse. But oral sex is too intimate to be considered part of petting. When I ask high school students about it, they say, "That's just the way it is."

2

[Q] Playboy: At parties, do people confront you with their sexual problems? Anybody ever say, "Let me show you my rash"?

[A] Pinsky: Nobody has pulled down his pants. Once while I was pumping my gas, this guy who was about 20 said, "I was going to call you, and you've walked right into my life." He said he couldn't sustain his erection after he put on a condom. I told him to keep using the condom, that he would work it out. I realized I can't offer effective answers at gas stations.

3

[Q] Playboy: What's the most underrated venereal disease?

[A] Pinsky: When I started doing the radio show I was telling people about GRID, gay-related immune deficiency. It was just beginning to be known as AIDS. About five years ago my mantra became, "There's another thing waiting for you--hepatitis C." Seventy percent of people with hepatitis C will suffer chronic liver disease and as many as 20 percent of those may eventually develop cirrhosis. It increases risk of liver cancer. It's going to be big news.

4

[Q] Playboy: Six years ago, you and your wife had triplets. How do you plan to handle the upcoming dose of puberty?

[A] Pinsky: When their hormones turn on it's going to break my heart. You can't be a doctor to your family. Maybe I'll tune the radio to the show and at least get my sons and daughter to acknowledge that I understand the issues. I don't know. Talking about drugs is another tough issue. Parents should have zero tolerance of illegal substance use. You can't tell your kids whatyou did as a teenager. You don't lie--you just don't discuss it. I know it will be difficult. When Adam and I role-play on the radio and he plays one of my sons, I always cave.

5

[Q] Playboy: Certain porn actors say they're like extreme athletes and that their sport is sex. Is there a pathology behind that?

[A] Pinsky: Extreme athletes are addicts, even if they avoid substances. Crime, sex, shopping, gambling and extreme sports--those all affect the same part of the brain. Indulging is a way of coping with feelings that otherwise would be overwhelming and painful.

6

[Q] Playboy: In sexual situations, when is ignorance bliss?

[A] Pinsky: Almost always, because there's so much fantasy attached to sex. Unfortunately, there is a price to pay for ignorance. There's a reason mother nature created diseases that evolve out of indiscriminate sexual contact. Years ago, syphilis or gonorrhea would kill you. I'm not putting a moral or ethical label on these biological events. They happen. It's nobody's fault.

7

[Q] Playboy: What makes you believe that most sex workers, including strippers and porn actors, were abused when they were children?

[A] Pinsky: I've treated a lot of these people. I see the misery. I want people to understand that when they buy a porn tape or go to a strip joint, there may be a price to the person they're objectifying. Adam complains that he can't go to strip clubs anymore because he's talked to enough of these people to understand what's happening. This is part of my pathology. I want to rescue people, particularly women. That's not right. But as a physician, I can't help but comment on it. I'm not suggesting that people shouldn't express themselves. But they should know when they're doing that and when they're not.

8

[Q] Playboy: Do most teenagers grow up as sexually repressed as their parents?

[A] Pinsky: The teenagers I talk with have much less anxiety about sex. They are much less concerned about it, and hence there's less sexual acting out. We provided the same information to Generation X and they rejected it. Generation Y still sees me as the Man, but I'm less threatening and more silly to them.

9

[Q] Playboy: Adam told us you slept with your wife on your first date. What's your move?

[A] Pinsky: The first time I saw her she blew me off. It was like machine-gun fire. I felt totally dejected. The second time I saw her I said, "If you leave your boyfriend, call me. I want to date you." Guess what happened? My move was being assertive and clear.

10

[Q] Playboy: What's the strangest question you've ever heard?

[A] Pinsky: We just had it, on the radio. A zoophiliac wanted to know why people react so terribly when he tells them he's involved with his dog. He trained his dog to mount him, and he gives it blow jobs. He talked about the dog as a consenting life partner. It was a collie. Brutus. We'll never forget its name. The women on our staff were absolutely outraged. Men who called in were concerned that the guy would become an ax murderer. People were upset because they felt he was taking advantage of a defenseless animal. Adam and I had none of these reactions. We were just curious.

11

[Q] Playboy: Statistics aside, are must people normal?

[A] Pinsky: Most people have a pathology. The question is, does it prevent them from being happy? Even married people who engage only in missionary-position sex can be abnormal if they are stuck in that role. Those are the people Hugh Hefner was talking to when he said, "Express your sexual freedom." Normal is wonderment, being explorative, trusting and committed, and being able to have fun. It's not about needing drama, chaos or extreme sports.

12

[Q] Playboy: Who has been your best guest so far?

[A] Pinsky: Tom Arnold. Not only is he a nice guy, he's also undergone a lot of treatment. He is chock-full of pathology, and he doesn't have any problem dropping the celebrity veil. He is very effective when talking to kids.

13

[Q] Playboy: You and your wife underwent fertility treatment so she could get pregnant. Did you agonize about bringing triplets to term?

[A] Pinsky: Our obstetrician, who was a friend of mine and who became a better friend, said, "Don't do it. Don't have triplets." If you look at the data, marriage survival is low and illness is high among parents of multiples. We called several universities about selective reductions. Their ethics committees decided they would not reduce triplets to twins. We wrote down the pros and the cons, and the cons didn't weigh up to a life. The probability of having seven healthy babies--as happened in Iowa--is very low. The probability of being able to adequately parent seven babies at the same time seems to me to be zero.

14

[Q] Playboy: Let's say people need a license to have children. Give us some questions for the exam.

[A] Pinsky: Tell us about your childhood. No, that's not fair. That's saying if you were abused you're going to be a bad parent. I have more faith in people than that. How about: Do you understand the importance of your role in this child's development? How will you support yourself? Why are you having this kid?

15

[Q] Playboy: You have said about Loveline, "When I was 15 a show like this sure could have helped me." We've seen photos on the Internet of you as a teenager. You could have used some help. What were you like then?

[A] Pinsky: Horribly shy and clingy, to the point of repelling people. It was a painful time. I had no understanding of how relationships worked. I clung to my first girlfriend like a dust mite.

16

[Q] Playboy: Why are some women bewildered when they discover that their husbands masturbate?

[A] Pinsky: Because they're not men. If the majority of male sexuality were about intimate human contact, men wouldn't masturbate. Women are also bewildered when a guy has sex with them, then walks away: "Why doesn't he want to date me anymore?" Because he doesn't, because he's a man, because that's the way he's put together.

17

[Q] Playboy: You've said that adolescence in America extends well into the third decade of one's life. What retards our maturity?

[A] Pinsky: We live in a time of permissiveness, and people aren't compelled to mature. Combine that with dysfunctional families and you have adolescence extending on and on and on. [Adam Corolla enters.]

18

[Q] Playboy: Since you're both here, why don't you diagnose each other.

[A] Carolla: Drew likes to find the good in everybody, to feel their pain, instead of looking at it as I do, which is, "This person is a pain in the ass." Drew is-- what's the word?

[A] Pinsky: Codependent.

[A] Carolla: Yes. Codependent.

[A] Pinsky: I mean this in the most caring way, but Adam has a partially treated narcissistic personality disorder.

19

[Q] Playboy: Who's more convincing when giving advice about sex, the doctor or the comic?

[A] Pinsky: The comic, because people can relate to him. The minute start talking, it's like Charlie Brown's teacher: "Wha, wha, wha, wha, wha." I have to turn to Adam and say, "Would you tell them what I just said?" I was 24 when I started with the radio program. Now I'm a guy with gray hair, in a white coat, who kids don't want to listen to. The show is like a Trojan horse. It looks like one thing on the outside, and it allows me to be rolled through the gate.

[A] Carolla: Drew speaks a language that makes sense to his colleagues but not to the stoners who call the show. For instance, he'll say "primary relationship" when he means your mom and dad.

20

[Q] Playboy: Adam, has there ever been a time when you wanted to say, "Drew, shut the fuck up"?

[A] Carolla: Last show [laughs]. There are his general ramblings, along with the regurgitation of information and then the swallowing of the regurgitated material and then the reregurgitation of the same material. Better still is when we run into former guests Drew doesn't recognize. He says, "How do you do? Nice to meet you." They say, "I was on your show three months ago." Drew's response is always, "Oh, you've put on weight."

[A] Pinsky: But only when they have. It's usually muscular weight.

[A] Carolla: But you don't get the muscular part in before the weight part.

[A] Pinsky: Well, it's the truth. I only speak the truth.