Playboy's Guide to Life After College

to paraphrase jay-z, the real world is a hard-knock Life, graduation means leaving the shelter of campus and being thrust headfirst into a brutal, unfamiliar environment where people have jobs and bosses and actually care if you've washed your clothes and cleaned your apartment. but postgrad Life also has its perks—paychecks, christmas parties, golf outings and that sexy harvard grad with the short skirt who sits in the cubicle Next to yours. Here is some advice on making a smooth transition into adulthood.

Five must–haves for your closet

Straight Shoes: Wing tips are ideal. They're good for your first office job and they send a reassuring message to postgraduate females.

Six white shirts: Colors come and colors fade, but a crisp white shirt can set up any suit and tie. Hunt the racks for your favorite style—you'll be surprised at the variety. When you find one you like, buy six. There's nothing worse than trying to hide a stain.

The charcoal, suit: The suit has to be dark.

The essential Sports coat: Now is not the time to skimp. Use your newly found credit power. You can wear the right Armani for ten years (cheap jackets look like shit after a year of heavy use—or a year on a hanger).

A good belt: Throw away the buckle you've been opening beer bottles with and spring for a sleek belt. The buckle should be classic and understated—you'll be wearing it every day.

Trading Up

pickup football

golf

campus bookstore

ikea

School fight song

Mission Statement

.edu

.com

Velcro watch

tag heuer

Quake

Quicken

report card

job performance evaluation

big gulp

Starbucks venti coffee

Advice from real guys

Save money now. Take advantage of your company's 401(k) or profit-sharing plan. You're kidding yourself if you think Social Security will be able to support you after you retire. Social Security might not exist in 30 years. —Jon Klein 25

When you're in an office setting, watch what you say. I once told a questionable story to a co-worker in the office cafeteria. Just as the story reached its climax, a female co-worker walked in and showed her displeasure that we were having such a conversation. I realized that I was with co-workers now, not friends. —Martin Lieberman, 24

How to clean up your act

Problem: Tattoo

Solution: Laser treatment. Start early; you'll need five to eight sessions spaced four weeks apart before the ink is gone. Note: Blue and black inks are easier to remove than red and yellow are. The cost is $75 to $300 per session, depending on the size of the tattoo.

Problem: Multiple piercings

Solution: Speed the healing process by making sure you're getting enough zinc and vitamin C. Tongues heal quickest, but earlobes may never heal completely. Many types of holes will be too small to notice in a few weeks.

Problem: Punk-rock dye job

Solution: Don't try to fix your hair at home. A professional colorist can restore it to its original hue for about $50, depending on thickness, length and color.

Problem: You inhaled. Now you must pass a drug test.

Solution: Heavy users and those with excessive body fat are most at risk of failing. Casual users may pass a test after two or three days' abstinence, though the longer, the better. Whatever you do, don't give a specimen first thing in the morning. Drink fluids: The more water you drink, the more you will dilute your sample.

Problem: Your girlfriend has marriage pangs.

Solution: Move back in with your parents and she'll move on.

Problem: Silver dollar–sized hickey.

Solution: Rub it with an ice cube and hope for the best.

Post College Dating Rules

So much for fraternity date parties and the excessive alcohol that made hooking up in college a cinch. In the real world, know the following: (1) Handing a woman your business card will project a holier-than-thou vibe. It's a fun prop, but save it for corporate schmoozing and trying to win free lunches at T.G.I. Friday's. (2) Pickup lines are dead. (3) You'll meet girls in bars, at the gym and at the bus stop, but the best way to find a potential girlfriend is to ask friends to set you up. (4) Clean sheets matter. So does the way your apartment smells. (5) Always have a decent ($15–$20) bottle of wine in your apartment.

Do you need insurance?

You're young, you're making money, you're acquiring things. What could go wrong? Plenty.

disability: Disability insurance pays you an income if you're unable to work for medical reasons.

Liability: If you have a home, car, pet, business or anything that might cause you to be sued, you should obtain liability insurance. Determine how much coverage you need and how much you can afford; a minimum of $1 million coverage is prudent.

Auto: Different states require different types, so check with an agent. At the least, get liability for bodily injury (it protects you in case you're in a wreck and you get sued). Liability for property damage covers the other guy's car or mailbox. If you're driving a new car, collision insurance covers repair costs no matter who's at fault.

Life: There are many types, including term, whole, variable and universal. Term provides coverage at a lower cost while you're young, with escalating costs as you grow older. Whole, variable and universal policies have built-in savings plans with higher premiums. Term is usually more appropriate for young people who are able to save on their own.

The golden rule of investing

Invest your money in something with legs.

Roommate red flags

red flag: He carries a pager that his girlfriend gave him. Meaning: You'll have two roommates, not one. Count on incessant late-night calls from his overbearing significant other.

red flag: When you buy the first round of drinks, he fails to reciprocate. Meaning: He's cheap and won't likely chip in on stuff for the apartment.

red flag: He works the graveyard shift. Meaning: He'll sleep all day and keep you up all night.

red flag: He's in a punk, thrash or metal band. Meaning: They need a place to practice.

red flag: He doesn't want to "commit" to signing a lease. Meaning: If he ditches out, you'll be stuck paying the full rent.

red flag: He doesn't want to pay the security deposit. Meaning: He has destructive impulses and you'll end up paying for damages.

Top emerging U.S. cities

(1) Atlanta: "It's filled with young people from all over the Southeast who come here right out of college looking for adventure," says Jamie Allen, an Atlanta-based writer. Major industries include Coca-Cola, MindSpring and CNN. There's also a burgeoning technology community. Bonus: the Braves, Falcons and Hawks.

(2) Austin: The next hip technopolis is home to 1 million residents, the University of Texas and 1750 technology companies. "Here," says Josh Hinsdale of city search.com, "hippies cavort with rednecks and high school punks hang out with grayhairs in business suits." Bonus: live music (great roots music and country) seven nights a week.

(3) Charlotte: Banking's second city boasts more banker yuppies than any other city in the South. Home to a slew of big banks (NationsBank and First Union), manufacturing companies (Gunk is made there) and some technology companies. Bonus: nearby Blue Ridge Mountains and Lake Wylie.

(4) Portland: Sixty-five miles from Mount Hood, this city boasts such companies as Adidas, Nike and Columbia Sportswear. Bonus: the most microbreweries and brewpubs in the U.S.

(5) Minneapolis: Northwest Airlines, Best Buy, Pillsbury and Rollerblade are based here. The city features more theater seats per capita than any other metropolitan area (except New York). It also has 22 lakes and 170 parks. Bonus: Governor Jesse Ventura.

(6) Seattle: Microsoft is one of 2500 computer-development firms in the area. Biotech is another major industry. The music scene is still groundbreaking. Bonus: Remote wilderness is less than an hour away.

Job-Related Lingo

Stock options: Standard at small companies where cash is tight. A way for start-ups to attract talented people.

Medical benefits: Employees choose medical insurance from a mix of options, including health maintenance organizations and preferred-provider organizations. May include vision, dental and standard life insurance. You will have to participate in the cost.

vacation and Leave: Most employers provide paid vacation days (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day) and after a certain amount of time (usually a year of employment) two weeks of paid vacation. Most employers provide a set number of paid sick days. If you are a salaried employee, you should be allowed to miss work for jury duty without losing pay. The Family and Medical Leave Act mandates that employees receive up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave for a birth, adoption or family illness (the benefit is usually offered after a year in companies of 50 or more workers). Some companies also offer child care benefits and flexible spending accounts (employees use pretax dollars to pay for health and day care). Many companies offer education benefits (employees take job-related college courses and get reimbursed).

Christmas bonus: A thing of the past, unless you work on Wall Street.

Hot Careers

All medical and professional specialties, including accountants and PR and marketing executives: Projected to add the most jobs—4.8 million—between now and 2006.

(1) New Media Maven: Any job related to the Internet, from engineering websites to creating content to selling banner space. "You have the opportunity to help enable companies in a unique way," says Michael Tucker, business strategist for hesketh.com/inc.

(2) Sales engineer: Used in the software-hardware business, these are "tech specialists who understand the sales cycle," says Allen Wyke of Engage Technologies. A sales engineer works with a customer's tech people to handle implementation and assume responsibility through the life of the partnership. "They're often the factors that close the deal."

(3) Leisure consultant: People are working longer and harder than ever, and many need help planning their downtime. Leisure consultants coordinate half-day outings to the local woods or multiweek expeditions to the hinterlands—anything to force their busy clients to have some fun.

(4) Patient representative: Aging baby boomers will use medical care at record rates. "Patient representatives are part social worker, part advocate, part confidante, part spirit booster," notes a patient advocate. They work all angles of the health care maze (insurance, hospital, doctor) to ensure the best outcome for their clients.

Tips for Relocating

(1) take a virtual tour: Once you have a few cities in mind, visit cityguide.Iycos.com.

(2) Ask around: If you use a portal such as AOL, search the member base for people in the areas you're considering. E-mail them with questions such as cost of living and best neighborhoods.

(3) Visit homefair.com: The most comprehensive relocation site on the Web provides tools to help you compare cities on crucial criteria such as cost of living. It has a salary calculator to help you compare your net worth in various locales. And the moving calculator will help you determine the cost of getting there.

(4) Shop for an apartment or a house: You can do this online via homefair.com, rent.net or www.springstreet.com. Some city sites offer links to classified listings.

(5) Assume nothing: In many large cities, landlords skimp wherever possible. What you consider essential—a refrigerator, an air conditioner or a stove—may not be standard equipment. Specify what you want before signing a lease.

(6) Have references: In areas where the rental market is tight, many landlords require a reference or two (someone with whom you have a rental history or a local person who can vouch for your character). Don't fake it—most landlords who ask will check.

(7) If you can afford to, hire professionals to help you move: Take essentials and fragile items with you in the car. If you have to move yourself, recruit friends and thank them by providing beer and food all day long.

(8) Make a task list and time-line. This will help you get the critical jobs (such as arranging for utilities) done in time. A useful timeline can be found at pipeline press.com.

(9) Plan your route. If you're driving a 24-foot rental truck that's 13 feet high and weighs 13,000 pounds, you need to stay off roads with low bridges or tree limbs. Check out mapquest.com to find the best way to go.

(10) Be prepared. No move has ever gone smoothly, so leave yourself extra time for everything. Double- and triple-check reservations and timelines. Carry a list of critical phone numbers, including the rental truck roadside service number and AAA. Any more questions? Check out the Real-life guide to Life After College.

Cook to Impress

[recipe_title]Dinner: italian-style chicken for two[/recipe_title]

[recipe]3 tablespoons olive oil[/recipe]

[recipe]2 strips bacon, finely chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 onion, finely chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 bay leaf[/recipe]

[recipe]1 teaspoon fresh rosemary leaves, chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves, chopped Salt and freshly ground pepper[/recipe]

[recipe]6 chicken thighs (bone in)[/recipe]

[recipe]1 large can (28 oz.) Italian plum tomatoes[/recipe]

[recipe]1 cup red wine[/recipe]

(1) In a Dutch oven, heat olive oil and cook bacon 1 minute; add onion, bay leaf, rosemary and thyme and sauté a few more minutes. Remove and set aside. (2) Salt and pepper chicken; brown it on both sides. Add bacon-onion-herb mixture. (3) Add tomatoes and wine, bring to a simmer, then cook over low heat for 40 minutes. (4) Remove chicken and set it on a platter. Continue cooking sauce until it thickens, 5 to 10 minutes. (5) Reheat chicken in sauce for five minutes. Serve over rice or polenta.

The Truth Behind The Title

title: Attorney, public interest law firm

truth: Earn peanuts while learning you're not John Travolta in A Civil Action. Bonus: Discover that egomaniacal senior partners aren't limited to the private sector.

title: Customer service representative, credit card company

truth: Be a punching bag for irate debtors while shilling bloated, expensive life insurance policies.

title: Property services associate, building management.

truth: Grab your plunger and get up to 14B.

title: Publicity manager, book publisher

truth: Kiss ass, make reservations, feign bookishness, kiss more ass.

title: Beat reporter, small-town daily newspaper

truth: Fight to stay awake during city council meetings, write features on bake sales and locally grown squashes that resemble former presidents, accept the fact that you're neither Woodward nor Bernstein.

Some Final Words

Get an e-mail address. Your friends will scatter all over the world for jobs and grad school. E-mail is the easiest, cheapest way to stay in touch.

Read everything you can and network. You never want to be in a staff meeting and not know what someone's talking about.

Don't live on credit cards. We all have friends who are $15,000 in debt. There are plenty of free or cheap things to do.

No binge drinking. You're not on a safe college campus anymore.

[recipe_title]Breakfast:Frittata for Two[/recipe_title]

[recipe]1 tablespoon olive oil[/recipe]

[recipe]1 tablespoon shallot, finely chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 tablespoon onion, finely chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 red bell pepper, diced[/recipe]

[recipe]4 eggs (large or extra large) salt and freshly ground pepper[/recipe]

[recipe]1 tablespoon butter[/recipe]

[recipe]2 tablespoons freshly grated parmesan[/recipe]

[recipe]1 teaspoon parsley, chopped[/recipe]

(1) In a small skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat. (2) Sauté shallot and onion until translucent. Add red pepper and sauté a few more minutes. Remove mixture from heat and let rest until just warm. (3) Beat eggs in a bowl until well blended. (4) Add the cooled shallot-onion-red-pepper mixture, along with salt and pepper to taste, to eggs (if mixture in too hot, you'll end up with scrambled eggs). (5) Reheat skillet to medium high and melt butter. Add egg mixture and cook until eggs set on the bottom (about 30 seconds). Sprinkle with grated parmesan, then quickly turn heat to the lowest setting and cook eggs for about 15 minutes. Then place skillet under the broiler for another minute. (6) Transfer the frittata to a serving plate and sprinkle with parsley; to serve, cut into halves or fourths.

Essentials

Screwdriver and Hammer

Corkscrew

Duct tape

Dustbuster

Alarm clock

Overnight bag

Dark socks

One piece of framed artwork

Answering machine

Internet service provider

Wristwatch

Saucepan

Skillet

Condoms—in the real world, they're not free.