The Year in Sex

Please, No Banana Cream

Gross + grosser = grossebt: Promo items for the teen jerkfest (and box office hit) American Pie included a cock sock and an ad guaranteed to ruin Mom's apple pie.

Full of The Old Mick

Mick Jagger's nine-year, four-child marriage to Jerry Hall crashed when he knocked up Brazillian model Luciana Gimenez Morad, who let it all hang out (left) on a Carnaval float in Rio. Luciana had a boy, Jerry agreed to an annulment, and Mick's escorting a Venezuelan heiress.

Royal Plan

Despite a miniscandal resulting from the release of an 11-year-old topless photo, Sophie Rhys-Jones finally got Price Edward to the altar. In Argentina, dancer Adriana Vasile got a leg up on Prince Charles, have had his paramour, Camilla Parker-Bowles.

Downsized

No signs of inflation here: Thumbing her cute nose of America's big-boob Obsession, Pamela Anderson had her implants reduced. In ensuing weeks, other stars hit the talk show circuit with their own rememberances of its past.

It Was Over When The Fat Lady Sang

To the surprise of nobody but House Republicans and Ken Starr, Bill Clinton survived impeachment, even after Monica Lewinsky's testimony proved him a big fibber as well as a big creep. After all was said and done-and all the bumper sticker humor was exhausted-Hillary began a Senate run, Monica launched a handbag business and cash-poor Abkhazia authorized a set of topical postage-stamp look-alikes.

Eye of Newt, Heart of Stone

So much for family values: In 1980 Newt Gingrich asked his first wife, then ill with cancer, for a divorce and soon married Marianne Ginther (above left). Now he's dumping marianne for House aide and church singer Callista Bisek.

Just Don't Squeeze The Melons

When a Brit supermarket chain announced it might stage nude shopping nights, Manchester DJ Derek Hatton dared listeners to try it.

Upsized?

Did she or didn't she? Reports claim teen singer Britney Spears had her breasts enhanced, but she's not owning up to it. Guess she just had a growth spurt between spring (at left) and fall (right). Is so, it sure was a well summer.

And You Don't Need a Pre-Nup

Forget inflatables. RealDoll (realdoll. Com). Is made of high-grade silicone and comes delivered to your door with a bra, panties, minidress, stockings and cleaning kit for a mere $5699.

You Can't beat the classics

"Show us your tits!" yelled rowdy fans when Playmate Bebe Buell returned to her rocker roots at the Manhattan nitery Don Hills. "Don't ask for that," she retorted. "They're an institution at this point." As a public service, we present the historic hooters, circa 1974.

Mommy, Jar Jar is Hitting on G.I. Joe!

Action toys gave prudes the this year. Speculation had Jar Jar Binks and Teletubby Tinky Winky outed as gay, Tarzan's up-and-down arm movements too jerky, and Butterfly Art Barbie's tattoos drew so much for Chelsie's nose ring.

Been There, Done That

We saw something familiar in People's roundup of Rod Stewart's fair-haired friends (1). It's a reprise, with a new cast, of a Year in Sex item (2). From Playboy's February 1979 issue. Rod's latest flings, after his split from wife Rachel Hunter (3): Kimberly Conrad Hefner (4), Tracy Tweed (5), model Vicky Lee (6), who's considered being deflated a la Pam, and the lady known as Roxanne (7).

Downsized

Gone but not forgotten: the bountiful (but, she says, painful) breasts formerly sported by Sally Kirkland (above, in 1995). At right, Sally as she appeared at 1999's Academy Awards ceremony.

Shock Rock

Was it something in the (overpriced) water? Revelers at Woodstock '99, billed as a 30th anniversary celebration of peace and under-standing, began in a festive mood but ended up making war, not love.

careful with that chopstick

for 1200 each ,guests at one nyotaimori feast dine from the body of a naked women.viriginity is no longer required,but she does have to wax,pluck and lie still for eight hours

The Further Adventures of Carmen and Dennis and Tommy and Jenna and Pam and others we couldn't fit in

On and off switches turned by celebrity couples Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman and Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee gave the tabloids a field day, with ever-more-lurid headlines linking Dennis with A model and masseuse, Carmen with Tommy, and Tommy with the world's top-paid porn star, Jenna Jameson (bottom left). The Rodmans appear to be history, but the lees are reunited.

Heidi Fleiss, The Sequel

Her aunt, Georgia Gibbs, sang Dance With Me Henry, but Jody "Babydol" Gibson may be warbling Jailhouse Rock. Cops charged the latest "Hollywood madam" with pimping.

Welcome to The Whorehouse

Nevada's Moonlite Bunnyranch dedicated a suite in its brothel to Minnesota's rasslin' governor, Jesse Ventura, who describes his visit there in his autobiography.

Upsized!

Caution: Contents Undre Pressure. Model Ashley Bond demonstrates the technology that allows her to pump up her breasts at will--from a C cup to an HH.

It's Hollywood's wildest, wackiest and down-right dirtest bust-up ever!

Livin'la Vida Loca

You can't make this stuff up: Actress Lynn Redgrave (1) filed for divorce from John Clark (2) when he blabbed that young Zachary (3), who Lynn believed was their grandson, was his own child by ex-assistant Nicolette Hannah (4), the estranged wife of their son, Ben (5). John then accused Lynn of dallying with Brain Dennehy (6). Meanwhile, the Clarks' daughter, Kelly (Who her dad says is a lesbian) (7), bore twins. No scandal yet on sister Annabel (8).

Eye candy on the net

unauthorized photos of porn foe Dr.Laura Schlessinger showed up on IEG's club love site,while tampa officials tried to block veoueur Dorm,'s 24-hour cameras

Hemlines, Schlemlines

You've heard the theory: short skirts equal bull markets. We have a better one, linking gang-bang records (by number serviced) to Dow Jones highs for that year. Who knows what heights may be reached if Montana Gunn fulfills her vow to take on 2000 comers this New Year's?

been there done that 2

herb ritts shot of elsa benitez for the 1999 pirelli calender,women through the decades,bears a striking resemblance to ellen michales march 1972 centerfold

Be Fruitful and Multiply

Mum's the word for California surrogate Rosalind Bellamy, carrying twins--a boy and a girl--for Brit gays barrie Drewitt, an ex-nurse, and Tony Barlow, a dermatologist.

The Doctor Was In

Rumors were aced when basketball's Dr. J., Julius Erving, was fingered as the dad of tennis pro Alexandra Stevenson.

Tits for Tots

The news that Disney drones apparently inserted two frames of a topless woman into The Rescuers forced the studio to recall 3.4 million videotapes.

Wild, Wild Girls of Sports

No wonder guys are taking an interest in women's sports. Check out tennis babes Martina Hingis (1), Anna Kournikova (2) and Jennifer Capriati (3); soccer's Brandi Chastain (4), who shed her shirt in victory (and had earlier doffed much more for a photographer); and a pair of Playboy pictorial picks, wrestler Rena "Rhymes With Able" Mero (5) and boxer Mia St. John (6).