Playboy's 20Q: Seth Green

Mighty Seth Green has amassed a wildly eclectic filmography that most 26-year-old actors would kill for. A show business veteran of 20 years, he has played the young Woody Allen in Radio Days, the gothed-out slacker son in the two phenomenally successful Austin Powers films and a rock-and-rolling werewolf on the WB Network's cult favorite Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

At six, the son of a West Philly math teacher and an artist was on the road in an RCA/John Denver promotion. At eight, he was working opposite Jodie Foster and Nastassja Kinski in The Hotel New Hampshire. At 12, he played Woody Allen. In his teens, Green pitched Rally's hamburgers and did antismoking ads in a gas mask. There were miniseries such as Stephen King's It, and minor roles in Big Business with Bette Midler and My Stepmother Is an Alien with Kim Basinger. And Green managed to graduate with honors from high school.

Soon he was living in Los Angeles, appearing on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show and co-starring in David Mamet's American Buffalo at the Old Globe in San Diego. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery landed him on Entertainment Weekly's "it" list. Among Green's 20-plus film appearances are Can't Hardly Wait, playing a wannabe-black kid opposite Jennifer Love Hewitt; Enemy of the State, playing a surveillance operative spying on Will Smith; and the forthcoming Knockaround Guys, opposite John Malkovich. Green also provides voices for animated series such as Fox' Family Guy and Batman Beyond.

Robert Crane caught up with Green in West Hollywood. He reports: "Although Green is only 5'4", he stands huge with his dedicated cadre of fans. Two teens followed him to the office, where he dutifully signed autographs and chatted with them. He is less eclectic than the roles he plays."

1

[Q] Playboy: You're a chef creating a new recipe. The ingredients are Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Melissa Joan Hart and Sarah Jessica Parker. What can you come up with?

[A] Green: The ultimate empowerment chick flick: I Know What You Screamed Last Halloween While You Were Having Sex in the City With Sabrina's Teenage Witch Doctor. Sounds like box-office poison.

2

[Q] Playboy: Would there be room for a dash of Pamela Anderson Lee?

[A] Green: That would guarantee overseas sales. Put them all in corsets and you have a deal.

3

[Q] Playboy: Entertainment Weekly put you on its "it" list two years ago. How does one get "it," and when you get "it" what do you do with it?

[A] Green: Apparently you have to have a good publicist. And as far as what you do with it, you just cross your fingers that you're still "it" the next year, which I wasn't. Thanks, EW. I guess you can only be "it" once. It ain't like tag, right?

4

[Q] Playboy: What is Seth short for?

[A] Green: It's short for Seth. There are two people in my life who call me Sethy. My sister has been known to call me Sethro. That's as far as it goes. I ran into a White House aide once who dared to refer to me as Sethenopolis. He was quickly corrected.

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[Q] Playboy: Let's pretend Seth is an action verb. What is Seth doing?

[A] Green: Seth is doing it and doing it and doing it well. I'm gonna Seth you so good after this interview.

6

[Q] Playboy: There are Dana Plato and Gary Coleman, then there's Ron Howard. How do you avoid the shoals of childhood stardom?

[A] Green: I'm fortunate that when I was younger I never had one particular project that made me a recognizable celebrity. People have only recently started to know my name. The problem with a lot of child stars who've gotten into trouble is that they had too much too soon--stress, money issues, emotional issues. Suddenly you're not the same person everyone thought was so cute and funny. Ron Howard wisely stopped acting and got into directing and producing.

7

[Q] Playboy: You're an aspiring producer. Who would you want on your casting couch?

[A] Green: Susan Sarandon keeps calling and saying, "When are we going to make a movie together?" I keep saying, "Sue, just drop the dead weight--a.k.a. Tim Robbins--and we've got a deal." Meryl Streep left a message for me that said, "I'm desperate to have sex with you, and if we can work out a movie deal, that would be great." I'm like, "Mer, baby, wait in line, sister." I was sad when Jessica Tandy passed on, because things between us never worked out. I was getting angry messages from Hume Cronyn, saying, "Stay out of my business, you whippersnapper." Shit like that. What are you going to do? I have too much respect for the institution of marriage.

8

[Q] Playboy: Have you had a casting couch experience with a predatory female casting director?

[A] Green: Are you kidding me? I don't know if that situation exists. They usually go for the good-looking, buff guys who they think will be a great lay. They never seem to go for the short, stocky character (continued on page 156)Seth Green(continued from page 129) actor who they think can make them laugh afterward.

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[Q] Playboy: You hand a casting agent your business card. What does it say?

[A] Green: On the front it says, "He works hard for the money." And then on the back it says, "So hard for it, honey."

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[Q] Playboy: What are the advantages of being vertically challenged?

[A] Green: I'm great in a crowd because I can move very quickly. I have a low center of gravity. When I'm playing basketball, the taller players get confused because I can move fast and get inside them. I can't shoot, though. That's the main problem.

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[Q] Playboy: You've heard a lot of them. What is your favorite short joke?

[A] Green: When I was in eighth grade this guy belted out, "Seth, you're so short you could sit on the curb and swing your legs." It cracked up the whole room, including me. That image is very funny.

12

[Q] Playboy: What do you have against golf?

[A] Green: Nothing except I sunburn easily, and to my knowledge there's no indoor golf course. Also, golf clubs are kind of long for me. People look at you funny when you're carrying a sack of mini golf clubs. Besides, those carts don't go faster than six miles an hour, and that doesn't cut it.

13

[Q] Playboy: You portray a guitar-wielding, rock-and-roll werewolf on Buffy. Ringo has his all-star band. Who would be in yours?

[A] Green: Wow. It would be a big band. We'd fill the stage. Tom Morello would be in it, as would Tenacious D. Matthew Sweet would be our songwriter. We'd have some cool, hot chick like Shirley Manson singing. I would love to get Josh Freese, Scott Churilla, Jimmy Chamberlain and Chad Smith to do percussion. That would be brilliant. I'd throw Twiggy Ramirez, Flea and Mike Dirnt and Mark Hoppus from Blink 182 into the bass section. I'm bad with guitars, so I would just sit and watch.

14

[Q] Playboy: You have appeared on MTV's Loveline many times. What sexual problem stumped you?

[A] Green: Pick one that didn't. One guy couldn't control his anal constrictions. I was like, "I've got no advice for you, man." The fact that actors and musicians are deemed appropriate mouthpieces for the sexual problems of a deviate society is stunning to me. It's like, "You liked Austin Powers? Thanks, but I don't know what to do about your bleeding nipple. The fantasies you're having about your dog? All I can say is, I think it's unhealthy. You might want to consult someone else."

15

[Q] Playboy: Knowing what you know now, how would you go about playing Woody Allen differently? Besides dating girls your own age.

[A] Green: I'm pleased that I didn't know then what I know now, because it would have been a different experience. It's like that kid who did the voice in An American Tail. They cast him because of the way he sounded, then as soon as he found out that his character was a mouse, he changed the voice and they couldn't get him to go back to what they loved originally. Ignorance is bliss in a situation like that.

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[Q] Playboy: Care to share with us a quintessential Woody moment on or off the set?

[A] Green: It was the first time I met him on the set. I shook his hand and said, "I'm so excited to be working with you." He disengaged from my hand, looked at his hand to make sure all his fingers were there, wiped his hand on his shirt and said, "It's not that big a deal!" That gesture indicated to me that I should enjoy myself and do my best work instead of treating it like a huge, reverential situation. Or perhaps he meant my hand was dirty and he didn't trust me.

17

[Q] Playboy: In Can't Hardly Wait, you portray Kenny Fisher, a wannabe-black kid whose goal is to lose his virginity. Do you suppose the opposite character exists?

[A] Green: A black kid who desperately wants to be white and remain celibate? I'm sure he's out there somewhere, in a twisted monasterial cult. I just haven't met him.

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[Q] Playboy: As the son of Dr. Evil you wear black nail polish. What does that tell us about a man?

[A] Green: Remember how 15 years ago, people thought it was freaky for a guy to have an earring? Now it's commonplace. It's the same thing with nail polish. I wear it to capitalize on the audience's perception that people who wear nail polish are either weird rock stars or confused and upset kids. Even though I disagree with that opinion, I wear the nail polish to get that reaction. In Buffy the character is a rock star. Rock stars wear nail polish. In Austin Powers the kid's fucked up. Fucked-up kids do fucked-up things to their bodies.

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[Q] Playboy: Does one shade work better than another?

[A] Green: On film everything looks black. I've had various shades of blue and purple and everyone says, "What's up with the black nail polish?" I've even worn dark greens, though I'm not about to go the sea-foam gold route.

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[Q] Playboy: You've said you have a crush on Geri Halliwell. Are you referring to the pre- or post-Spice Girls Geri?

[A] Green: My crush on her has been greatly exaggerated. It was less about Geri as a person and more about what she represented as Ginger Spice. As Ginger, she seemed outspoken and interesting. She seemed to be having a lot of fun. Now she's had a makeover and is trying to prove she's a serious artist. That's far less appealing to me than a trashy tart with a loud mouth who's having a great time.