Playboy Interview: Drew Barrymore

There was high drama one day on the set of Charlie's Angels. Lucy Liu, one of the Angels (alongside Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz), got into a loud argument with Bill Murray, who plays Bosley. Murray bristled at Liu's suggestion to change dialogue in a scene, telling her she should feel lucky just to be there and should keep her comments to herself. Liu snapped right back, and suddenly trailer doors were slamming, agents were being called and the clock was running on a costly day of production. So whose job was it to calm the combatants?

The film's producer, Drew Barrymore, that's who. Drew Barrymore? Actor at the age of one, child star at seven, party animal at 10, burnout at 14, and now, at 25, reinvented as one of America's sexiest stars, not to mention a producer. After a life with more peaks and valleys than the Nasdaq, it's still hard to imagine: producer Drew settling a squabble between prima donnas. But she did it. Murray and Liu settled their differences, and the shoot continued.

Angels is Barrymore's second turn as producer. She became one, launching her own company, because she was fed up with auditions that led to roles in which she played what people thought she was---a promiscuous teenager, in movies such as Poison Ivy. Her first production was Never Been Kissed, in which she also starred. Her next, Charlie's Angels, is a remake of the campy series from the Seventies about three female detectives more famous for hair than gunplay. According to Columbia Pictures Chairman Amy Pascal, Barrymore was involved in every stage of the production, from securing rights to the show to honing the script and casting the stars.

After wild adventures and misadventures that filled many pages in People and the National Enquirer, Barrymore claims her personal life is going better than ever. She is engaged to comic and MTV host Tom Green, who was diagnosed earlier this year with testicular cancer. Green even broadcast his surgery on his TV show. He is now fully recovered.

For Barrymore, marriage---maybe even motherhood---is a particular challenge, because her own family life was dysfunctional. She was born in 1975 to a famous (and infamous) acting family. Her great-grandfather was the silent film star Maurice Costello, and the next generation included matinee idol John Barrymore. Her grandmother Dolores Costello was a silent film star. Her great-uncle and great-aunt were Lionel Barrymore and Ethel Barrymore. Renowned for their acting talent, the Barrymores also had a history of personal problems, including drug and alcohol abuse.

Drew's father, John Barrymore Jr., was a failure as an actor and a parent. Her mother, Jaid, who was known as a pushy stage mom, had Drew making commercials when she was an infant. Drew became a star the first time at the age of seven, when Steven Spielberg cast her as Gertie, the precocious sister in E.T.: The Extraterrestrial. It led to starring roles in less-respected movies, including the creepy Firestarter. In Irreconcilable Differences she played a child trying to divorce her parents.

By the time she was 10, Drew was drinking and had tried marijuana, followed soon after by cocaine. At 13, the first of several rehab stints occurred, with the problem growing dire when she attempted suicide after one relapse, which landed her in a psychiatric hospital. By the age of 15 Drew was a high school dropout with no movie career. Sober and determined to make a new start, she wrote her autobiography, Little Girl Lost, and successfully sued to have herself legally emancipated from her mother.

Derailed by his penchant for booze and drugs, Drew's father shows up only rarely. Recently, he lived in her guesthouse in LA, but then disappeared again.

Until last May, when Drew called to wish Jaid a happy Mother's Day---and to talk about Jaid's publicized arrest for carrying an unregistered .357 magnum---she hadn't spoken to her mother in five years.

After rehabilitation, Drew returned to acting, but producers were wary. Besides having a bad-girl reputation, she was no longer the cute and precocious cherub from ET. She was an awkward teenager, and soon found herself working in a coffee shop, where she made salad dressing and cleaned toilets. Eventually, she began to win parts, though she initially portrayed teen tarts in films such as Poison Ivy and the ABC television movie The Amy Fisher Story, in which she played the Long Island Lolita.

Her break came when she was cast by director Herb Ross in Boys on the Side, playing a free-spirited beauty who joins in a cross-country trip with companions Whoopi Goldberg and Mary-Louise Parker. Ensuing roles included her terrifying turn in Scream, and other movies have demonstrated her talent as a comic. She played both the straight woman and the jokester in such films as The Wedding Singer, Never Been Kissed and Home Fries. Indeed, America began to see that Barrymore was witty and charming, with a self-deprecating humor. We also saw more of her body when she flashed her breasts on a memorable episode of the Late Show With David Letterman and in 1995 when she posed for Playboy.

Not surprisingly, Barrymore's love life has been well chronicled in the press, too. After a brief marriage to a Welsh bar owner (she later admitted the marriage was to help him get a green card), Barrymore had a string of romances that included Hole guitarist Eric Erlandson and her Home Fries co-star Luke Wilson. She met Tom Green after she cast him in Charlie's Angels. When the movie wrapped, the two began dating.

To track down Barrymore for an interview, we called upon Michael Fleming, who most recently interviewed Jennifer Lopez for the magazine. Here is his report:

"I've interviewed Drew before and have spent time with her over the past few years. Much the way she carefully reconstructed a movie career from the wreckage of her adolescence, she has reconstructed herself as a kind, humble person who doesn't shrink from discussing her past.

"We met at the Sunset Marquis Hotel in Hollywood. She wore no makeup, though there were red highlights in her hair. She looks younger than 25, and it's hard to believe she has packed so much life into such a short time. Readers will be pleased to know that she's still a lot of fun. Indeed, after five Coronas, she was in far better shape than her interviewer.

"Drew's is a life that could have sunk a less resilient woman, but throughout the interview she impressed me not only because she has survived it all, but also because she has flourished."

[Q] Playboy: Congratulations on your engagement. Do you plan on being a mother, too?

[A] Barrymore: Definitely. I tell people I'm thinking about having kids and they say I'm too young. I don't feel that way at all. I feel like I've gotten a lot out of my system. I've seen the world and the party scene. Now I want to try something different. For the first time in my life, I want to have a family. I've never had one.

[Q] Playboy: Your romance with Tom Green has had its ups and downs. Not long ago, there was a rumored breakup.

[A] Barrymore: Tom and I are so together. He's amazing. It's so much fun to get to spend this or any time in my life with someone so interesting. I look at him and see someone worth putting effort into. I can be totally myself with him. He makes me feel all these great things. I feel like I understand his life and he understands mine.

[Q] Playboy: Were the rumors untrue?

[A] Barrymore: Some were true, and some weren't. It's weird. It's life. But when the stories come out, you try to figure out where they came from. I laugh about the things that are said. Occasionally, they are spot-on. You think, God, are they tapping my phone? But most are completely untrue. The range is wild, from the rumor that the other girls and I didn't get along in Charlie's Angels to stuff about Tom and me. We're doing great. So now you know the truth.

[Q] Playboy: You must be used to the press---you've been in the public eye since you were seven. But how did you feel when Tom went public about his testicular cancer? He went so far as to have his surgery televised on his MTV show, and there were reports that you accompanied him on a precautionary trip to the sperm bank. This is personal stuff. Did the reports bother you?

[A] Barrymore: For a minute, but I got over it. The way the public focuses on every detail of our lives is pretty interesting. It's like we become a thing for people to touch and pick up and smell and play with. Tom took that and tried to do something positive. He found that you can use the attention for something good. But at the same time, it sometimes takes a lot of fucking patience and practice and Zen prayer to remember that the external stuff isn't what you should focus on and live your life by. You have to break through it---like jumping out of an airplane.

[Q] Playboy: Were you surprised when Tom turned his illness into an episode of his show?

[A] Barrymore: Yeah, I was. It was his decision, absolutely. That took another kind of Zen understanding and acceptance. What really stayed with me was how people were affected by what he did. He turned something serious into something else by using humor. I'd always been told laughter can cure cancer, but I have never heard a lot of people making fun of cancer. He got lots of letters about how it helped others to be brave, too. He certainly could have kept it secret and then felt shameful whenever it came up. Instead he decided to enlighten. I'm proud of him.

[Q] Playboy: We saw the dissected tumor. It was amazing real-life TV, with graphic footage of his stomach being sliced open, his intestines moved aside and his lymph nodes cut out.

[A] Barrymore: It was intense, but I respected that someone could be so open about his worst nightmare. It was scary in some ways to be so out there, but it was also liberating.

[Q] Playboy: How did you and Tom meet?

[A] Barrymore: I wanted to cast him for a part in Charlie's Angels. It was a producer thing, but that's not usually the kind of producer I am.

[Q] Playboy: So you had a casting couch?

[A] Barrymore: No, please. I would have been happy if he were just an actor in the movie, but look how lucky I am! It actually was a very professional first meeting. I told him about our vision of the film. I said I was the biggest fan of his show, even though I barely ever watch television, unless I'm in some weird place in my life and then I watch for millions of hours in a row. Recently, the only time I'd turn on the TV was with the hope that Tom Green would be on. My medicine, my drug, is comedy, humor and laughter, watching a funny movie at the end of a bad day. Jim Carrey, Peter Sellers, John Hughes, Steve Martin in The Jerk, and Tom's show are like medicine to me. I wanted to meet him because of that, and I hoped he'd give some of that gift to my movie.

[Q] Playboy: How long did it take for him to go from being an actor in your movie to becoming your boyfriend?

[A] Barrymore: We spoke on a professional level before the film started and ran into each other after that. It was like fate colliding. When we finished doing the movie, we started talking on the phone and dating. It was kind of traditional.

[Q] Playboy: Your last long romance was with Luke Wilson, another actor. In fact, you've always seemed to date actors, musicians and other people in the entertainment business. Have you ever dated regular guys?

[A] Barrymore: An interesting question. I think it's circumstance rather than some conscious choice I've made. These are the people I happen to meet. I am somewhat secluded in my world. My biggest plight is not being able to experience every corner of life. There's Hollywood, but there's the whole rest of America. My whole life is about my work and films, at least now.

[Q] Playboy: But is there a downside to dating actors? The stereotype is that they are egotistic and insecure.

[A] Barrymore: There's nothing wrong with the actors I have known. They have the same issues as everyone else. You feel lucky to have someone who understands your life, and you understand his. At the same time, I'd be open to being with someone who has nothing to do with this business. I could learn so much more about what he does and I could show him my world.

[Q] Playboy: What do you look for in a guy?

[A] Barrymore: Funny. Who are you inside? Are you loving? Are you seeking something interesting? Do you communicate? Are you romantic? Can you make an uncomfortable situation comfortable with humor and understanding? Do you want to try? Are you curious? Are you passionate? Do you believe in faults and try to be forgiving of them? Try new adventures? Are you brave? Are you willing to take risks and understand that there are fears, but work through them? Is it OK if I cry? Will you make me not cry often? Are you giving, and do you know how to receive? Is it OK that I make you totally nuts? Do you like to kiss for hours and hours and hours?

[Q] Playboy: That's quite a list.

[A] Barrymore: I'm not done. Can you handle what goes on in my life but think it's all normal and not get caught up in bullshit? Can you not be fucked up? Can you not take drugs and still know how to have a good time and have fun? Is it OK if you believe you're really small but want to make a really big contribution?

[Q] Playboy: Despite---or maybe because of---your list, you've had your heart broken a lot, haven't you?

[A] Barrymore: Yeah, but I've done it, too. I've made promises I haven't kept and portrayed myself as something I'm not. Men have broken my heart and I've hurt men. Each time you meet another person you want to say, "Thank God you met me now, because you can't believe the shit I've had to learn." I feel that way about Tom.

[Q] Playboy: Now that you're together, does Tom have anything to say about your well-known infatuation with David Letterman, for whom you once flashed your breasts during a visit to his show?

[A] Barrymore: That was the greatest moment of my life---spontaneous, imagined in the moment. It was the wildest thing that's ever happened to me. I think Tom thinks it was pretty cool.

[Q] Playboy: It was a watershed moment for Letterman's show.

[A] Barrymore: I'm too humble to think I'm a part of that show's history, but I guess I am. They picked it as their top moment; I fucking can't believe it. It was so cool and insane, particularly because I grew up watching Letterman. I grew up idolizing Dave. I swore I would marry him. I did actually have a marriage with him on film. It was fake. He kissed me. It was great fun.

[Q] Playboy: And do you still have a crush on him?

[A] Barrymore: He's my sweetheart. I love him. Absolutely. But now I've got my Tom. I think I have a love for TV hosts, though. I can't help it. Ted Koppel was my first crush, when I was three. I was in love with him until I was seven. Then, from seven to 23 or 24, I was in love with David Letterman. Now it's Tom Green, so I guess I've always been into hosts.

[Q] Playboy: Back to Charlie's Angels. It may well have been the first show to feature women in action roles, but let's face it, it's campy cheesecake. What made you want to turn it into a film?

[A] Barrymore: I loved the fact that so many people feel such loyalty to that show. We played Charlie's Angels when we were kids. Both sexes loved it, for different reasons. You always get a strong reaction from people when you bring up the show. Sure, the series was campy, but that was part of it. We wanted to make the movie fun, but also about capable women. These women are somewhat super-heroes, although they are human and flawed.

[Q] Playboy: There were rumors about friction between the stars. One was about a disagreement involving Lucy Liu and Bill Murray that included harsh language and slammed trailer doors. What happened?

[A] Barrymore: Lucy had been off for a week doing Ally McBeal. It was hard for her to balance two jobs. She came in and wasn't aware of Bill's needs for the character. Bill didn't want to make a scene a certain way. They got off on the wrong foot and there was a little argument. It wasn't a big deal. We never shut down production or anything. Lucy and Bill worked it out right then and there. Someone on the set must have gotten wind of the argument and sold it to the press.

[Q] Playboy: What about the rumor that you and the women leads didn't get along?

[A] Barrymore: It wasn't true at all. We were like magnets the way we stuck together and got along so well.

[Q] Playboy:Charlie's Angels ended and you went skydiving with Tom, Cameron Diaz and her boyfriend, Jared Leto. Whose idea was that?

[A] Barrymore: Mine. I got the idea on the set when we were working with this incredibly dynamic aerial team for a sequence in the movie. I had always wanted to try skydiving, but I was afraid to. When I met these guys, I thought, If you're going to jump out of a fucking airplane at 13,000 feet, it should be with someone you feel safe with. I am seeking life-changing experiences right now, and I thought that would be a perfect one. So I did it. It was the coolest fucking thing in the world. Now that I've done it, I don't know what I'm going to find that will top that feeling. It was amazing physically and spiritually. It was like a really good double date: Cameron and her boyfriend and Tom and I were free-falling for about 45 seconds. I was the first to go. I was at the door, all ready, but at 7000 feet I got dizzy, faint and nauseated. Wild.

[Q] Playboy: It sounds like a scene from Charlie's Angels.

[A] Barrymore: Playing that character made me want to do it---to jump out of things and off things. Besides skydiving, I went to Kauai and jumped off a 50-foot waterfall. It was very scary. Rockwise, you don't know what's in the water. I did that before the movie began, to get into my character's bravery.

[Q] Playboy: Most actors would have settled for the fantasy in the movie.

[A] Barrymore: But doing it myself was very liberating.

[Q] Playboy: You said that you have been looking for life-changing experiences. Why?

[A] Barrymore: I spent last year afraid. In fear. My New Year's resolution was to have less fear. We wrote down our resolutions and then burned the pieces of paper and buried the ashes in the sand. It felt good acknowledging that I was afraid and then facing the fear. The next day, I jumped off a waterfall. The first one was 30 feet. The day after, I jumped off a 50-foot waterfall.

[Q] Playboy: What were you afraid of?

[A] Barrymore: I was afraid of flying, afraid of hygiene and food. Food can be so dirty.

[Q] Playboy: Dirty?

[A] Barrymore: Germs. I was really freaking out about them. Also, I was afraid I would be flying in an airplane and be stuck in my little existence in panic mode.

[Q] Playboy: Did the skydiving and leaps from the waterfalls help?

[A] Barrymore: The fears aren't entirely gone, but it's much better. I've pretty much overcome my fear of flying. I haven't completely gotten over the food thing. I try to eat at places that seem to be clean and healthy. I don't eat fast foods, though I tried In-N-Out Burger. I don't know if In-N-Out Burger is dirty, but it's good. I'm a vegetarian, I eat the grilled cheese. It's part of trying to confront the fear of dirty food by going to places I wouldn't normally go.

[Q] Playboy: Do you know where your fear of dirty food came from?

[A] Barrymore: You have no idea what people do to food. I worked as a waitress, and I wouldn't do what some of the other people did---spit in the coffee or something. Well, I actually did it once.

[Q] Playboy: You spit in someone's coffee?

[A] Barrymore: I've heard so many wicked stories from people in the food industry and how they do bad things to a person's food. People do shit you can't believe. I did spit in one person's coffee. But it wasn't where I worked, it was where my friend worked and I spit in the coffee because the customer was rude to my friend. I can take it, but don't be mean to my friends.

[Q] Playboy: No wonder you're afraid of germs. But how did playing a heroine help?

[A] Barrymore: It helps you face your fears when you do things that scare you. You realize that the fears go away, or at least that the fears lessen.

[Q] Playboy: We heard you're interested in playing another female heroine, this time in Barbarella. Have you talked to Jane Fonda about your plan to remake her first successful film?

[A] Barrymore: Yes, and I got her blessing. She said it is a great time for a Barbarella remake. If a friendship with her were to evolve out of this, I'd be the luckiest person alive.

[Q] Playboy: Before Charlie's Angels, you had spent years trying to make a movie of the Teena Brandon story, but were beaten by Boys Don't Cry, which won Hilary Swank a best actress Oscar. Were you disappointed?

[A] Barrymore: We worked on that for a long time. When you respect a project so much, you don't want to make it until it's right. We were perfectionists, developing it for years. Other people started making the same movie. Once they were off and running with a big head start, we decided not to compete with them. I went to see Boys Don't Cry on its opening weekend and I loved it. Hilary Swank had that amazing part in her destiny.

[Q] Playboy: Because good parts for young women are particularly hard to come by, do you chase after the same roles as actresses like Cameron Diaz and Gwyneth Paltrow?

[A] Barrymore: I've never been competitive that way. When I was 16 and wasn't getting jobs, I decided to someday produce movies so I wouldn't have to depend on anyone else. That way, I'd survive. It's still my focus.

[Q] Playboy: After being a star as a child, was it tough to be unemployed at 16?

[A] Barrymore: The only thing that was painful was that people thought I was incapable of working. Shit, I could always do the job. I could always be professional and show up for work every day.

[Q] Playboy: Because of your drinking and drug use, did people assume you would be unreliable?

[A] Barrymore: Totally. When you've been locked up in a mental institution, people are going to ask questions. It was OK, because I didn't have to act perfect all the time, people knew that I certainly wasn't perfect. That whole experience helped me. It made me do everything that I do today. If everything had gone smoothly, maybe I would just be an actor seeking jobs. Maybe I wouldn't appreciate the success. I got to do covers of magazines recently that I'm shitting in my pants about. I can't believe it. Sorry. I could have come up with a more elegant way of saying that. That's one more thing to add to the boyfriend checklist: Be forgiving of gross statements like that one.

[Q] Playboy: Now you're moving on to the starring role in Riding in Cars With Boys. Penny Marshall, the director, apparently didn't want you at first.

[A] Barrymore: I had to work my balls off for that part. The people making the film wanted me, but it was her decision. I had to prove myself to her.

[Q] Playboy: Did you take it personally? Some actors wouldn't work that hard.

[A] Barrymore: They just deny themselves experiences. I saw Penny before anyone else and I waited three months to hear her answer. I cured the pain of that by working on Charlie's Angels. And I thought, Goddamn, I'm lucky to have work that I care about. If I don't get that job, it's OK. If it had gone to someone else, I would have tried not to take it personally. Every once in a while, in an insecure moment, you can't help but take it personally.

[Q] Playboy: Let's talk about some of your male leads. Was it fun working with Adam Sandier in The Wedding Singer?

[A] Barrymore: He's like the greatest, most amazing person in the world. That time, I did seek out the part. We laughed every day making that film. It was great fun playing a character that was sort of the ultimate girl. Julia, my character, was someone I really wanted to be: a beautiful, supportive girlfriend, someone who used that great green Herbal Essence shampoo in the Eighties and smelled good and was a clean, pretty, great fucking girl. I wanted to be that girl for Adam Sandier. I'd work with him again in a heartbeat.

[Q] Playboy: Another movie you apparently pursued was Scream. We read that executive producer Harvey Weinstein wanted you for the lead role, which went to Neve Campbell. Instead, you became the first victim killed off in the film.

[A] Barrymore: Harvey and producer Gary Woods gave me the script. One night, when I was alone in New York, this revelation came to me that I was supposed to play the first character to get killed. Harvey saw Scream as a franchise and said that he wanted me to be the focal point for several movies. The script was amazing. I asked him to believe in my instincts, and he did. It worked out as perfectly as it could have.

[Q] Playboy: But you could have had the lead in the franchise---

[A] Barrymore: That's what's so fun about it. In scary movies, you always know that the star is safe. She'll make it to the end of the film. If we took that away, all bets would be off. How much fun would that be? I loved that. The only movies that scared me when I was growing up were When a Stranger Calls and Halloween. In each case, the entire movie was really about the opening scene. I was more interested in being part of that opening scene. To me, it wasn't about doing a lead in a movie; it was about the difficult challenge of acting out the terror and fear in this one contained moment.

[Q] Playboy: After that you starred in Ever After with Anjelica Huston, another actress with a storied Hollywood lineage. Did you share any war stories or bond on that level?

[A] Barrymore: We did. We bonded on family stuff. We shared that weird thing that pumps through your veins: "I've got to do this well to please my family, to make them proud."

[Q] Playboy: Did the two of you really feel that way?

[A] Barrymore: Definitely. There is a need and a passion that is hereditary. I can't speak for her, but I've never questioned what I wanted to do with my life. I feel there was a reason my mom and dad got together, a reason I'm connected to this great family. They're not here, I don't know any of them, but I just have this in me---this inherent knowledge, this instinct.

[Q] Playboy: Are you steeped in Barrymore family lore?

[A] Barrymore: I worship my grandfather to an insane degree. I've never talked in therapy about it---I should. But then I'd just get the Western interpretation. What I believe in him is, like, beyond Eastern. I'm either his reincarnation, or he's waiting to pass to the next plane until he knows I'm OK and on my way.

[Q] Playboy: Was he the best actor in your family?

[A] Barrymore: I don't know about that. I just know he's the one I identify with most. I feel his struggle, his need to overcome and express and understand things, his need to touch and feel everything and take it in with passion and emotion and tears and tumultuousness. I know I'm crazy because of him.

[Q] Playboy: Did you inherit the ability to act, or did you study it?

[A] Barrymore: I never studied. Neither did they. They knew they were supposed to go into the theater, because their parents were theater actors. My grandfather actually wanted to do other things, but his soul stuck him into acting. He had other needs, but he found his way to acting---though he ended up getting lost. All of my relatives were in amazing movies and played amazing characters. Even my dad and my brother were in a bunch of Seventies films. I think about my dad and my brother and wonder why they seemed to fight being actors. I don't understand it. I feel more connected to the generation before, the idea that this is who I am, who I'm meant to be. My dad never accepted that.

[Q] Playboy: By all accounts, you've had an unorthodox father-daughter relationship with him. For a while, he was living in a guesthouse on your property. Is your relationship better?

[A] Barrymore: I'm still helping him, I'm still trying. It's frustrating because I sometimes wish my family would just take care of me, even though they can't. Sometimes I feel like I don't know them. Why am I fighting so hard for people I don't know? They gave me life, so I actually should know them better than anyone else, but I don't. Still, I feel a draw, a responsibility, a guilt and a passion that drive me beyond what my head sometimes tells me. My heart always overcomes it, and I want to try to make his life better.

[Q] Playboy: Is he still living with you?

[A] Barrymore: No. He never lives anywhere for too long. He's a fucking nomad from hell. Right now I think he's in a VA hospital and then he will go off on his own again in a couple of weeks. All he has ever done is live separate and by himself and in different homes. That's the way he likes it. He doesn't want any possessions. More power to him. It's not the way I want to live, but I'm trying not to judge him. He's definitely not a father. I just have to accept that.

[Q] Playboy: Has he ever been a father to you?

[A] Barrymore: No. He's taught me things. I have moments with him that I cherish, but no. He talks about "kicking the bag." He says you carry things around with you like a bag and the bag gets heavier and heavier. He says, "Don't you want to kick the bag sometimes?" I love that. He says, "The brain is like a monkey in a cage." Sometimes I can see this monkey gripping the bars, going, "Eek, eek," wishing it could get out. I love that, too. So I have moments with my father that are so profound, but overall he's not my father. He's just a trippy and interesting person I get to have beautiful interludes with. He never acts, but in a way he acts all day long. He's a philosopher---he's a crazy man, a genius.

[Q] Playboy: Do you seek him out or does he simply show up on occasion?

[A] Barrymore: He just finds me somehow, which is interesting because he didn't when I was younger. He didn't call me as much as he calls me now.

[Q] Playboy: He sounds childlike.

[A] Barrymore: He is. He's a proverbial child. But he wants to be independent and he's like a bird that can't be caged. There's something that isn't childlike about that. It's a weird dichotomy. It's can be frustrating, but I accept him as he is.

[Q] Playboy: Your relationship with your mother is also unconventional. In some ways, it seems as if she keeps turning up---like a bad penny.

[A] Barrymore: That's the best way that I've heard it described so far.

[Q] Playboy: Did you get involved when she was arrested recently in Manhattan for possessing a handgun?

[A] Barrymore: No. I didn't want to be and I appreciated that she didn't involve me. She is very independent and doesn't ask for anything, which I respect.

[Q] Playboy: Did you discuss the incident with her?

[A] Barrymore: I called to say, "I don't judge you. If anything, I think it's funny. You seem like a teenager out on a weekend, posting signs for a band." The gun part isn't so teenage to me, but she is a small woman living in New York and feels the need to protect herself. Do I judge that? Absolutely not. Do I understand it? No. It was Mother's Day and I felt the need to call and say, "Hey, you're probably kind of wacky because everybody is printing this about you, so just know that I don't judge you."

[Q] Playboy: It wasn't the typical Mother's Day greeting.

[A] Barrymore: I guess it's better than the nothing I said to her for five Mother's Days in a row. We haven't talked a lot since I was 16.

[Q] Playboy: When past Mother's Days came around, did you think of her?

[A] Barrymore: I did. I felt just shittiness. She gave birth to me and probably made herself look like a total jerk for pushing her daughter to be an actress at such a young age. I understand all that stuff about her. But we just needed to take a break and figure some stuff out. Suddenly nine years passed. It must be painful to watch movies and have that be your only connection to your daughter. She deserves more than that. She deserves to know that the person she gave birth to likes her. She shouldn't assume I don't. And I don't feel that way. We don't have a mother-and-daughter relationship, but we may somewhere down the line have a friendship. But I'd need to take that slow.

[Q] Playboy: That's a gracious attitude, especially after she tried to auction off some of your childhood possessions on the Internet.

[A] Barrymore: I asked her about that after I read it in the media. She said she'd done it for Gilda's Club, which is a cancer charity. She didn't ask me---she just went ahead and did it. I wasn't really in contact with her so I don't know if she could have reached me anyway. But it was really awkward. At the time I made a bet that nobody would buy the stuff. First of all, I'm too humble to believe that anybody wants anything of mine. Second, the fact that it came from my mother affected people's feelings about it. So nobody bought anything.

[Q] Playboy: Does that old stuff mean anything to you?

[A] Barrymore: A few years ago it wouldn't have, but the older you get the more you appreciate things from your past. I'd give anything for the Ms. Pac-Man machine that my godfather, Steven Spielberg, bought me for my sixth birthday. I'd give anything for the stained glass picture that my grandfather on my mother's side made of my face. I don't know where it is. I never had any possessions from my family, because everything was sold off. Now they're starting to come back to me. I have amazing picture books now from my grandfather. I now have a whole altar with pictures of my family. Sometimes I'll walk into a restaurant and some beautiful old lady will stop me and say, "I knew your grandfather. I have a story about him." And I'll be totally tunnel-visioned into this woman's story. I know that's my grandfather giving me a message right then and there.

[Q] Playboy: You mentioned that your mother took heat for putting you in the business so early. Did you feel any resentment later in life when you were involved with drugs and drinking?

[A] Barrymore: Not at all. The resentment came from other people. It started when I was seven and she began taking me to clubs. People always question Hollywood moms---they always think they are pushing their kids. But people didn't know that when I was three, in our living room, I had the most profound moment of my life, telling my mom I wanted to be an actress. So I'm glad she brought me into this world. She knew from my father and my heritage that it must be the right thing. For me, it was something spiritual, but of course, people on the outside weren't seeing anything spiritual. They were seeing it as some mother pushing her daughter at too young an age and robbing her of her childhood.

[Q] Playboy: Later, she also got a bad rap for taking you out clubbing.

[A] Barrymore: She just wanted to go to the clubs and I happened to love it. It was a blast. Being at Studio 54 when you're seven years old was pretty wild. I don't know if that's the way a mother should be, but I fucking had a great time. I'm glad I got to experience all that I've experienced. I got to go to the Limelight and Studio 54 and Elaine's and I loved it. If my mom hadn't taken me, I'd never know what those clubs were like.

[Q] Playboy: But there was a price. Soon she was putting you into rehab. When you got out, you were no longer the cute little girl. You couldn't get work, either.

[A] Barrymore: What was hardest about that was that it was so public. A lot of people fuck up, do crazy shit and keep it to themselves. Because I was young and it was in public, it was awkward until I embraced it and thought, Hey, this is my life. I'm not going to sit around and hate my life.

[Q] Playboy: Were you out of control?

[A] Barrymore: Certainly to my mom I was out of control. She probably created a bit of a monster. Definitely. I was doing what I wanted at 12 and 13. I'd say, "I'm going out to go party." All of a sudden, she was trying to be a mom. She was trying to tell me what I could and couldn't do. But I didn't see her that way.

[Q] Playboy: Do you remember when your parents were together?

[A] Barrymore: Never. My dad was totally off and doing his thing. He didn't want to be there. When I was a kid I couldn't understand why. I do believe that I have a chance at having a real family in this lifetime. I never learned about it, though. I never really had a childhood. I was around adults at the time. I had hardly any friends my age. We were all sexually experimenting, trying to figure it all out. At that age, we were like, What is life all about? My favorite book when I was eight was Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex---But Were Afraid to Ask. I was not afraid to ask. I wanted to know.

[Q] Playboy: What drove you to seek legal emancipation at 15?

[A] Barrymore: I just knew that my mom and I weren't having and had never had the traditional mother-daughter relationship. I was out of the institution that I'd been in for a year and a half, and it had changed my whole life. At the time I didn't know it was for the better, but it was. I thought it was bad: Why is this happening to me? Why do I not get to see clouds for a year and a half? Don't I get to experience all the things normal kids do? There was no going out to see football games or movies.

[Q] Playboy: Were you angry when she institutionalized you?

[A] Barrymore: I was angry. Sure. Weirdly enough, I thought she was robbing me of my childhood when she put me in there. When she was taking me to clubs, I didn't think she was robbing me of my childhood. Suddenly, I'm with a bunch of 14-year-olds who are going through the same things, struggling with their parents, trying to find their identities, experimenting with sex and drugs. But when I got out, I wasn't curious about any of that anymore. I spent the next three years sober. I didn't drink or take a drug. I still don't take drugs.

[Q] Playboy: Were you addicted to drugs?

[A] Barrymore: I tried drugs when I was 13, but not to the extent that people think. I tried some drugs a few times. Since I was 14, I haven't done any drugs. I never tried heroin or acid. I don't even know about stuff like that.

[Q] Playboy: Were you sexually active at that early age?

[A] Barrymore: I was sexually curious---damn curious---but I wasn't acting on it.

[Q] Playboy: When you broke away from your mother, were you in strong financial shape from the movies that you had starred in?

[A] Barrymore: No. I lived in a little apartment near Park LaBrea and I was working at a coffee house called the Living Room. I'd go in at six A.M., meet the muffin man, clean toilets and make the salad dressing for the day.

[Q] Playboy: That's quite a comedown from Studio 54.

[A] Barrymore: In a weird way, it was exciting. When I was young and going out to the clubs, I would play house at my home during the day. I'd play store, like all kids did. Working was like getting to play store for real. I was into it. I worked at Music Plus and I loved that, too. I got to deal with music and movies and I was the best pitch person for videos. I could tell you every story line and every actor in a movie.

[Q] Playboy: Now you're one of the better-paid actresses, making about $10 million a picture. That's a lot of money for someone who only a few years ago struggled to make rent. Is the money important to you?

[A] Barrymore: Not at all. I still own the cheapest car of all my friends. I'm so envious of my friends who drive Porsches, but I drive a $30,000 Mitsubishi Montero that's a piece of shit. Sorry, Mitsubishi, but my car has already broken down on me several times. Still, I'm not ready for a Porsche. Don't know if I'll ever be, though I certainly enjoy riding in them. I might walk into a music store and buy 15 albums, but I really believe I will die having a ton of money in the bank, not having spent a penny of it. I don't want luxurious things. I don't dress in fancy clothes. I don't buy fancy cars. I don't live in fancy homes. I never spend money on stuff unless I give it to charity. I'm not flagrant or frivolous.

[Q] Playboy: What finally ended your salad-dressing and toilet-cleaning career?

[A] Barrymore: My boss gave a speech that caused me to change my life. He said, "You're not happy and you suck doing this. You're scrubbing the goddamn glass of the muffin case with the abrasive side of the brush so people can no longer see the muffins in there. Quit, Jesus Christ. Don't make me fire you. Please go out and follow your dreams, for the love of Christ."

I said, "All right. I will." I was 15. It's when I started going back on auditions. I went for a year and didn't get a job. Sometimes people would be a little weird and rude. Mostly they doubted my capabilities, though I knew I was capable. I understood why people thought I had to prove myself, though, so I bit the bullet and went in there and did it. I realized I had a new chance at life. I wanted to go out there and work hard for it. I never brought along the baggage of "I've been a star in this business."

[Q] Playboy: Many child stars never have adult careers. Were you at all worried you'd be one of them?

[A] Barrymore: I had bigger things to worry about. I'd been locked in a mental institution. I felt lucky even to see a stoplight. You don't get to live life for a year and a half; you're locked up at a volatile time when everything is hitting you. It (concluded on page 202)Drew Barrymore(continued from page 80) changes you forever.

[Q] Playboy: What was your first big break?

[A] Barrymore: A small movie called Poison Ivy. Things changed from that moment on. I still had to audition for everything, but that film was a fun place where I could show a different side of me. I was grateful and thrilled to death to get that role. It's weird: My tattoos have led me in strange directions. When I read the Poison Ivy script, it said on the first page that this girl Ivy had a tattoo on her leg of a cross with rose vines going through it. I had that tattoo.

[Q] Playboy: How many tattoos do you have?

[A] Barrymore: I have six. I got the first one when I was 13 and the last at 16.

[Q] Playboy: Do you regret them?

[A] Barrymore: I love them. I would never change them.

[Q] Playboy: Do you have a favorite?

[A] Barrymore: My butterfly. I got angels across my back when I was 14 and the butterfly at 16, Angels and butterflies. I have flowers on my toes.

[Q] Playboy:Poison Ivy led you to several roles as trashy, sexy teens, capped by the part of the Long Island Lolita, Amy Fisher. Were you comfortable playing those characters?

[A] Barrymore: I felt a need to play those characters. I wasn't that person anymore, but I had experience on how to be that person. By 16, I was wholesome compared with the characters I was playing. I wasn't out there doing drugs and killing people.

[Q] Playboy: After everything, what do you see when you look in the mirror?

[A] Barrymore: I like myself, I accept myself. I try to love myself. I'm much more forgiving of myself, whereas once I was pretty mean to myself. The more you give yourself a little distance, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you accept yourself.

[Q] Playboy: As you look ahead at your career and also at your marriage and plans to have children, which is more likely: that you'll win an Oscar or become a 250-pound mother with four kids?

[A] Barrymore: Two hundred fifty pounds with four kids. My intention is not to win any awards. I don't believe it's my destiny, and I'm floored any time I win an award. I freak out. People don't know how grateful I am. I recently got a plaque at the LA Center Studios, where they named a stage after me and Charlie's Angels. I gave the most heartfelt speech about how this is a dream come true and how, when I'm alone at night and thinking about all the good things that have happened, this will be a big one. But only four people there were listening to me. That keeps things in perspective.

When you've been locked up in a mental institution, people are going to ask questions. It was OK, because I didn't have to act perfect all the time.