The Year in Sex

That's Why They Call it Carnal Congress

Twenty-five years ago, Representative Wayne Hays was fingered by his non-typing Secretary and Mistress, Elizabeth Ray. Now the media Feast on Congressman Gary Condit and his Alleged amours, notably the missing Chandra Levy and (inset)the Flighty Anne Marie Smith.

Track and Peeled

Leilani Rios; Booted from Cal State Fullerton's Track Team for Moonlighting as a Stripper, was reinstated--but Academic Ineligibility Kept her from doing more laps.

Jesus, Mary and Rudy

A Hero when Tragedy Struck New York, Mayor Rudolph Giuliani Recovered Civic Affection he'd lost after Public snits over Brooklyn Museum Exhibits-first an elephant dung Virgin Mary, then photographer Renee Cox' portrait of herself as a naked Jesus at the Last Supper.

Last Supper Art is Last Straw

Mayor Rudolph Giuliani Says he will establish a panel to set "decency Standards" for exhibits.

Cruise in for a Bruisin'

When Mr. Cruise dumped the Mrs., she Suspected his Vanilla Sky co-star Penelope Cruz had something to do with it making Tom and Nicole the poster Couple for Fortunoff's Novelty Wedding-cake Topper of a batting bride and groom.

Pope to Bish: That's Celibate, Not Celebrate!

Unconventional Zambian Catholic Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo got into hot holy water by marrying South Korean doc Maria Sung in a Moonie wedding. A Peeved pope had him recant.

Daughter of a Preacher Man

We bet it got ugly when Jackie Jackson Learned that her husband, the Reverend Jesse, had Fathered a Child with ex-aide Karin Stanford (inset). On the Internet, a Mock MasterCard ad blasted Jesse for Counseling President Clinton while Masking his own ejaculate conception.

What's Nu?

What's with this scene from Tom Ford's Parisian Launch Party for YSL's Nu Perfume? Well, in French the word nu means Nude. It comes from the Latin for nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Tits-a-Poppin'

Who needs radio bad boys Opie and Anthony's Whip'em Out Wednesdays? The fallout is everywhere, viz.: (1) Juliette Binoche; (2) Donna D'Errico; (3) Lady Victoria Hervey; (4) Eager Bridesmaid; (5) and (6) models Molly Sims, Gisele Bundchen; (7) Pam Anderson; (8) Spring breaker; (9) Alexandra Holden; (10) XFL fan; (11) Julie Bowen; (12) Starlet in Cannes.

Canada's Bush League

Another of our faves: Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau's then wife, Maggie, sans culotte at Studio 54.

Bill and Hill Hit the Books

The press still has Bill and Hillary Clinton to kick around, thanks in part to Denise Rich, the ex-wife of pardoned fugitive Marc Rich. Meanwhile, both Clintons have Received mega-advances for their memoirs. Popular title Suggestions for Bill's Autobiography: With a Thong in my Heart and Crouching Intern, Hidden Cigar.

French Twist

Miss France, Elodie Gossuin, battled rumors that she was playing The Crying Game.

Now You See it...

Censors hit ads for Candie's Shoes (1), removing condom and butt crack (1a); Claudia Schiffer's poster (2) drew protests in Copenhagen; YSL ads, with model flashing in French Vogue (3) but not in the U.S. edition (3a); and Sophie Dahl's billboard for Opium (4), banned in Britain.

Wife to Han: Go Solo, Mio!

Melissa Mathison, tired of husband Harrison Ford's reported boozing and womanizing, used the force and filed for legal Separation.

We're Dumping our Maidenform Stock

The no-bra look triumphs with (1) Italian actress Francesca Dellera, (2) Renée Zellweger, (3) Gwyneth Paltrow, (4) Jennifer Lopez, (5) Serena Scott Thomas, (6) Leonor Varela, (7) Hilary Swank, (8) James King, (9) Joely Richardson (with) her co-star in the Play Madame Melville, Macaulay Culkin).

Absence Makes the Wife Go Yonder

In Filling for Divorce, Phylicia (The Cosby Show Rashad Cited Abandonment. Seems her sportscaster hubby, Ahmad, was never home. At least the plea didn't air on live television, as his marriage proposal had before a Lions jets game on Thanks giving Day 1985.)

Merry Widow

Will there be a Marshall Plan for Anna Nicole Smith? After a judge in LA Awarded her $474 million from the estate of hubby J. Howard Marshall the Cash. Then the original Judge voided that last verdict. Pending is a new appeal, in California.

Three's Not Company!

Scenes from Gracie Mansion: Hizzoner Giuliani in Rockette drag at a press corps Show, and a court's refusal to allow his "very good friend" judith Nathan to live in the mayoral abode as long as his estranged wife. Donna Hanover, was still residing there.

Blow the Man Down

Hugh Grant's encounter with professional fellatrix Divine Brown foreshadowed his split from Elizabeth Hurley.

Nudes Bulletins

O Canada! Naked News, at 6 million hits a month an internet phenomenon, is no flash in the Pan: It has logged on as a Playboy pictorial and a pay per view cable TV show.

Off Basinger

Alec Baldwin's short fuse, liberally chronicled in the tabled in the tabloid press, finally got Kim Basinger, who filed for divorce. citing that sturdy, catch all irreconcilable differences.

Arse for Art's Sake

You saw it here first: a David Duchovny butt print, created by wife Téa Leoni and auctioned for $3500 on behalf of the charity farm Sanctuary.

Crack in the Ice

Make an "undignified move" like this, and the international skating Union says judges will deduct a tenth of a point from your score.

Fuss on a Bus

After touring the county with live Cameras aboard, the VoyeurBus Came to a Screeching halt in Manhattan, Where Cops busted its occupants for disorderly Conduct.

Lust See TV

Sex Rules in (1) France's Loft Story: (2) HBO Sopranos; fox Temptation Island with (3) Lola Corwin and early evacuee (4) showtime's Queer as Folk CBS survivor 2, after which (5) Amber Brkich picked our cover girl (6) Jerri Manthey as girl most likely to succeed with her; and (7) Playboy TV's 7 live xposed.

Starr-Crossed Lovers

We Miss Bill Monica, Elizabeth Gracen and Inspector Javert.

Color her Blue

Tongues Wagged and Cable Fans Thrilled when Nudes of CNN News Anchor Andrea Thompson Surfaced in Black and White magazine. That was Before she Learned to do Color Commentary.

Crazy Like a Fox

Despite confessing That Sex with Lesbian Ellen DeGeneres was her best ever, Anne Heche got Pregnant and Married Cameraman coley Laffoon.

Backfield in Motion

Mighty Cheeky of them: The Sun's Usually topless Page 3 Girls Drop trou for charity at a British Football Match.

Parliament's Loss Our Gain

Jordan, Arguably Britain's Reigning Page 3 Girl ran for the House of Commons on a platform of Free Breast enlargements for all Sadly, Jordan Garnered a Mere 713 votes, about enough to fill an a Cup.