Live from New York SNL Still Kills

Playboy called me and said, "We have this great Idea." (Playboy always refers to itself as "We"—an Intimate detail I've learned over the long years of our relationship.) "We want you to write something about all the cast members of Saturday Night Live, from the first five years when you wrote for it and it was brilliantly funny, down through the years when maybe it wasn't so funny anymore, until now when everyone agrees it's funny again, although not quite so funny as during that far-off golden age when we were all stoned all the time so everything seemed way funnier." Naturally, I hesitated. Not that I didn't like the idea of tooting my own horn as one of the original Saturday Night Live Emmy award—Winning Writers. Or making snap judgments on the finest comedy talents of the past three decades. I just wondered if I had to sign my name to the thing. Playboy felt my pain. (Though you might not think so, Playboy has always been sensitive.) Then playboy told me how much playboy would pay me. "What the hey, I'll do it, Mr. Satan," I said. (Mr. Satan is one of my pet names for Playboy.) It wasn't just the money. I'd always wondered what had become of 1980-1981 cast member Ann Risley. Now was my chance to find out and then to share that knowledge with a waiting world.

The not-ready-for-prime-time Players got their name when, in the fall of 1975, ABC launched Saturday night Live with Howard Cosell, in prime time, featuring Howard and his prime-time players. It was Lorne Michaels' genius to call it Saturday night live. Then ABC could never move it. Herb Sargent, one of the few writers with enough TV experience to appreciate the distinction between prime time and late night, dryly suggested we call our cast the not-ready-for-prime-time players. Bill Murray appeared on the short-lived Cosell show, making him the only cast member to have been first ready and then not ready for prime time.

Original Cast, 1975-1976

Dan Aykroyd

Danny loved playing authority figures. He was never so happy as when he could pack heat on the show. He was also one of the actors who actually sat down and put words on paper, usually grubby food-stained paper. Together, he and Tom Davis, one of the show's writers, wrote the Coneheads. The original handwritten draft was illustrated with many middle school-caliber drawings of rocket ships. Danny and I created Irwin Mainway, a man so sleazy that he sold dog milk to a school lunch program. Irwin wore a garish "big lunch" tie, pale blue with birds on it. When Dan left the show, wardrobe permanently retired the tie.

John Belushi

Belushi didn't look like anyone else on TV. Handsome as he could be in person, he was one of what Kurt Vonnegut called "the funny-looking people." But he was an amazing chameleon. Belushi could mimic anyone he'd studied for a few minutes. I know he did a wicked impression of me, all twisted arms and legs, but I saw it only once, in what I suspect was its kinder, gentler version. Belushi's Cocker, Brando, Kissinger and an obese Liz Taylor were dead-on accurate, but the one I will always remember was in a parody of Casablanca, in which Belushi played Bogart to Candice Bergen's Bergman. John looked nothing like Bogart, but somehow when you looked at him you saw and heard not just Bogey but Rick, the romantic antihero you couldn't help falling for along with Ingrid Bergman and every other woman who ever saw the movie. A tour de force that Belushi just tossed off casually—all in a day's work. Oh, and he gave great neck rubs.

Chevy Chase

When I first met Chevy, he had shoulder-length hair and was wearing a leather pimp hat. He came into a dive bar on 49th Street (where the National Lampoon editors used to go to drink after work) to audition for Lemmings. Chevy was the embodiment of balls-out comedy, the person who would say what everyone else was thinking but was afraid to say. Michael O'Donoghue, one of the show's original writers, said about Chevy: "Acrobats are never so interesting as when they're falling." Chevy would take punishing falls over and over. But he could never do characters. His Gerald Ford was Chevy in a suit, though it might have helped Carter get elected.

Jane Curtin

Jane used to receive more than her share of ardent fan mail from the incarcerated. After Chevy left, she put in a stint behind the Weekend Update desk as well as branched out into such memorable characters as Prymaat Conehead, Mrs. Loopner and Tom Snyder's mother, a dead-on female version of Tom Snyder she unveiled without warning during a read-through. Saturdays after the show, Jane went home to her husband and her dog. But she was no goody two-shoes. Her acerbic humor made her the most entertaining person to watch the show with during rehearsals.

Garrett Morris

Like Chevy, Garrett was hired as a writer but ended up making his mark in front of the camera. Garrett, auditioning for Peter Cook and Dudley Moore's jailhouse production of Gigi, singing: "I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see." Garrett, in Mammy drag, kissing O.J. Simpson's Mandingo character on the lips. Garrett, as Uncle Remus listening in horror to a "Mr. Mike's Least-Loved Fairytale," in which Brer Rabbit is skinned alive, then roasted and eaten. Garrett as Chico Escuela claiming that "baseball been bery, bery good to me." Garrett—oh God, tell me we didn't do this and I'm just hallucinating—as a winged monkey in a Wizard of Oz parody. Garrett was the good sport of good sports. I only hope that he heard and took to heart Hattie McDaniel's famous dictum: "I'd rather play a maid and make $700 a week than be a maid for $7."

Laraine Newman

The sex symbol of the show. When you wanted to suggest someone who would inspire lust, you cast Laraine. Of course, when you wanted to suggest a 90-pound Howard Hughes on his deathbed, you also cast Laraine, who graciously donned a long white wig and beard for the part. Laraine excelled at playing a prepubescent smarty-pants, like her child psychiatrist who was actually a child, because who better than a child could understand the mind of another child? Once, Laraine and I were tripping on mushrooms on a friend's yacht in St. Martin when Jacqueline Kennedy came aboard. She stuck out her hand to Laraine and said, "Hi. I'm Jackie." Laraine said the only thing she could possibly say under the circumstances, which was, "No shit."

Gilda Radner

Gilda was one of those famous people who (continued on page 179)SNL(continued from page 112) didn't disappoint her public. She was funny and nice. She was funny when she didn't have to be. She was funny when she got cancer. She was funny about cancer. But she was no saint. She could be crabby and she liked to smoke and drink and have sex—a lot. Michael O'Donoghue and I were having dinner with her one night in the Oyster Bar in Grand Central, before she was famous, and she got up and went around to complete strangers' tables and asked them if she could try their desserts. Not only did they let her, they loved her. That's what Gilda was like.

1977

Bill Murray. One of Bill's first breakout sketches was Shower Mike, where he joined Gilda in the shower and then crooned into the soap-on-a-rope microphone, accusing her of cheating with the next-door neighbor, in a preview of his famous lounge-singer character, Nick. The role of Todd opposite Gilda in the Nerds sketches that Rosie Shuster and I wrote went to Bill by happy accident, when Belushi refused to play a nerd. I especially loved Bill as Nicos in the Greek Restaurant sketches, where he rarely spoke, just nodded for "no" and shook his head for "yes," while being abused by Belushi as his bullying cousin. There was a sweetness and charm about that character that Bill didn't often let shine through. Later, after Ghostbusters made him a big star, Bill generously agreed to make a guest appearance as a substitute teacher in my struggling sitcom, Square Pegs. At three A.M. the night before Bill was due on the set, the phone rang. It was Bill, claiming to be stuck in Tijuana. When my heart started beating again, I realized he was joking.

The original cast, minus Chevy, plus Bill, continued for the next two seasons.

1979-1980

SNL continued without Belushi and Aykroyd, a.k.a. Jake and Elwood Blues.

Harry Shearer. Harry was never happy at SNL and made no secret of it. But that didn't stop him from returning for half a season in 1984. Harry went on to make a lasting mark on pop culture as the voice of several characters on The Simpsons. He once told me he had always dreamed of a career in radio and now, with his own Le Show on public radio, I guess his dream has come true.

1980-1981

NBC replaced Lorne Michaels (who resigned) with his associate producer, Jean Doumanian. All the original writers and cast members left with Lorne. Imagine if every ballplayer in the Yankees' starting lineup was traded and the rest of the team had to begin the season from scratch. Oh, and they lost Joe Torre, too. That's something like what happened at SNL in 1980.

Denny Dillon. Denny is the only performer to have appeared in the casts of both Saturday Night Live and Saturday Night Fever (she played Doreen).

Brian Doyle-Murray. Bill Murray's older brother played Bill's scary mean butcher dad in Scrooged. He co-wrote Caddy-shack, based on his own experiences as a caddy. I have zero memory of his work on SNL, and I suspect I am not alone. Since then, Brian has appeared in both Waiting for Guffman and David Letterman's favorite in-joke, Cabin Boy. He's also done voice work on SpongeBob Square-Pants, which makes him cool for life.

Gilbert Gottfried. Like the parrot that he played in Disney's Aladdin (and all the straight-to-video sequels), Gilbert has no problem repeating himself. Thus his recurring role in Problem Child, Problem Child 2, Problem Child 3 and the TV series of the same name. Gottfried once said of SNL, it's like a restaurant with a good location—it doesn't have to be good.

Gail Matthius. To Gail fell the chore of taking over the Update desk. In 1997 she appeared as Lisanne in a TV movie about silicone implants, Breast Men. She also starred in Spider-Man—the animated TV version.

Eddie Murphy. Eddie was a pistol pointed straight at Hollywood. Post-Eddie, every SNL hire said, "I want a career like Eddie's." Big as Eddie got, he was never funnier than as Buckwheat, Gumby, Mr. Robinson or Tyrone Green, the convict poet who intoned "C-I-L-L my landlord."

Joe Piscopo. Supposedly the Chairman of the Board himself saw Joe's Sinatra impression and gave it the nod, which explains why Piscopo has never been roughed up by any of Frank's friends on the nightclub circuit, where he continues to do Frank.

Ann Risley. In addition to her yearlong SNL stint, Risley appeared as "UFO follower" in Woody Allen's Stardust Memories. Her most recent credit was Sister Margaret in Jericho Fever, a 1993 TV movie about a terrorist group bombing peace negotiations. Influenced by her deep commitment to this role, she left showbiz and is now involved in the de-accessioning of chemical weapons in Bosnia, where—sorry, I'm making this up. The truth is, I don't know. If you do, or if you are Ann Risley, write to me care of Playboy. The world is waiting for an answer.

Charles Rocket. Nothing about Charlie Rocket's stint on SNL was as memorable as his leaving. He was fired when he uttered "fuck" live from behind the Weekend Update desk on February 21, 1981. Since then he has appeared without profanity on other TV shows, including Third Rock, X-Files and Star Trek: Voyager.

1981

Jean Doumanian was out. Veteran TV producer Dick Ebersol was in. His job: to save the floundering franchise.

Robin Duke. Recruited from SCTV, Robin's best- and least-loved character on SNL was Wendy Whiner, which was enough to earn her a permanent place on AmIAnnoying.com.

Tim Kazurinsky. Among other characters, Tim was featured on SNL as Ozzy Osbourne, an impression he might want to take out of mothballs. He is familiar to fans of Police Academy (versions two through four) as Sweetchuck. He also appeared in Shakes the Clown, described as "the Citizen Kane of alcoholic-clown movies."

Tony Rosato. Another SCTV alumnus. Tony's first film role was as "person standing outside the bank door being unlocked" in the Canadian film The Silent Partner. In 1995, he played Charles Colson, special counsel to the president, in the TV movie Kissinger and Nixon. So there's progress right there. On SNL, his characters included Yasir Arafat.

1981-1982

Christine Ebersole. Christine played Princess Di, Britt Ekland and Cheryl Tiegs for one season. When she left 30 Rock for Broadway, she won a Tony.

Mary Gross. Mary played characters as diverse as Pee-wee Herman and Brooke Shields. For Dr. Ruth, she had a special chair with fake legs coming out of it to make her look tiny. Her hipness quotient is preserved by a recent guest shot as "floral instructor" on Six Feet Under.

1982-1983

Brad Hall. According to some SNL-fan-based websites, Hall's performance on SNL was so inoffensive that it offended people. These days Brad is best known as the guy who created Watching Ellie, starring his wife, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. I was sorry when they took it off the air because I found the clock useful while cooking dinner. Now it's coming back, minus the clock. Typical network move!

Gary Kroeger. Some say Gary's Yasir Arafat was the definitive version. I preferred his Alan Alda. His filmography includes the intriguing Tajna Manastirske Rakije, or Secret Ingredient, a film shot in Yugoslavia in 1989 in English and Serbian. It may contain lessons for us today, if we could only understand them.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Although unable to fulfill her comedic potential on SNL, she said that criticizing it is like attacking the rich uncle who put you through college. The TV-watching universe adores her as Seinfeld's Elaine and may come to love her as Ellie.

1983-1984

Jim Belushi. The worst thing about Jim Belushi is that he's not John, which is also the best thing about him. He's been the butt of more jokes than any human being should have to bear, no matter what he may have done to deserve them. Jim has an affinity for dog pictures like K-9 and Dog's Best Friend. But then there is his hilarious cameo as himself, making an appeal to the Albanian people, in Wag the Dog, which redeems him. Now he has his own hit TV show, which should make him happy, no matter what jokes they make about it (and they do).

1984-1985

Big changes again. Eddie was out. Billy, Chris and Marty were in. Harry was back for half a season. This time the new cast members were far from unknowns.

Billy Crystal. In his one season on SNL he impersonated both Howard Cosell and Muhammad Ali more convincingly than Jon Voight and Will Smith. And his Sammy Davis Jr. was scary. Blame his Fernando for the "You look mahvelous" catchphrase of the Eighties singles-bar scene.

Christopher Guest. I met Chris when he was in Lemmings. He could do every version of Bob Dylan's voice, modulating midsentence from Freewheelin' Bob Dylan to Blonde on Blonde. He could be spit-take funny. As Nigel Tufnel in Spinal Tap, Chris redefined the number 11 for a generation. If you haven't seen Waiting for Guffman or Best in Show, rent them immediately.

Rich Hall. A veteran of the skit shows Fridays and Not Necessarily the News when he came to SNL, Rich is best known as the father of Sniglets, words that are not in the dictionary but should be. His SNL impersonations included annoying Eighties icons Charles Osgood, Doug Flutie, Doug Henning, Paul Harvey, Bernard Goetz, Vince McMahon, Mark Goodman and Caspar Weinberger.

Martin Short. Marty brought his repertoire of characters from Second City to SNL. His Ed Grimley, Jackie Rogers Jr., Irving Cohen and Katharine Hepburn each have their devotees, but my favorite is Nathan Thurm, the paranoid's paranoid. Recently, Marty was trapped in a real talk show, where his acting chops didn't extend to feigning interest in his guests. Luckily for us, he turned once again to parody as Jiminy Glick on Comedy Central's hilarious Primetime Glick.

Pamela Stephenson. Pamela's year on SNL was a pit stop on the road to her career goal of clinical psychologist. Maybe cross-dressing as Billy Idol and Prince on late-night TV makes her more understanding of her patients' neuroses; maybe not. Dr. Pam had three children with Scottish comedian Billy Connelly before marrying him on Fiji in 1989.

1985-1986

The return of the king. Lorne Michaels came back to take over the reins of Saturday Night Live—and hired one of the oddest comedy troupes ever assembled. The following cast list reads like the answer to the question: "Which of these things are not like the others?"

Joan Cusack. Another talented comedian who never found her niche on SNL, Joan endeared herself to a mass audience as Kevin Kline's jilted bride in In and Out. Since her TV series was canceled, I will resist the urge to ask, "What about Joan?"

Robert Downey Jr. He was nominated for an Academy Award, won a British Academy Award and won the London Film Critics' Circle Award for Chaplin. He won a Golden Globe, a SAG Award and was nominated for an Emmy for guest-starring on Ally McBeal. He's made a ton of movies, most recently The Singing Detective with Mel Gibson. He never stops working except when incarcerated. Can you imagine what this guy could have accomplished if he'd never taken up drugs?

Nora Dunn. Once you have seen her character Pat Stevens, it's hard to forget her. Most people also remember that Nora persuaded Sinead O'Connor to join her in boycotting SNL when Andrew Dice Clay hosted the show, and she was fired shortly afterward. Wonder what she thinks of Dog Eat Dog and Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska.

Anthony Michael Hall. Already a veteran of John Hughes' Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club at 17, he was the youngest cast member ever. He left the show after a year. Clean and sober since 1990, he transformed himself into supernerd Bill Gates for the TV movie Pirates of Silicon Valley. He's now re-creating Christopher Walken's role as Johnny Smith in USA's new series The Dead Zone.

Jon Lovitz. In his five seasons, Lovitz embodied a long list of characters, from Andrew Dice Clay to the ever-popular Yasir Arafat. My top three picks: Master Thespian, Hanukkah Harry and Tommy "the Liar" Flanagan. When his Michael Dukakis quipped, "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy" in a debate with Dana Carvey as Bush, it was one for the time capsule.

Dennis Miller. Dennis took the Weekend Update desk the same way that Nazi storm troopers took the Sudetenland, sucking up the spotlight like a Bush daughter sucking up a pitcher of maitais, and faster than you could say Koyaanisqatsi, a star was born.

Randy Quaid. Quaid seemed like the bemused uncle who is trying to be a good sport at the kids' party. He tackled characters as diverse as Ed McMahon and Roy Orbison. Still, I would rather rent The Last Picture Show.

Terry Sweeney. Of all the male cast members who appeared in drag, Terry was the only one openly gay. His Nancy Reagan was faa-aabulous. He went on to work on Mad TV.

Danitra Vance. The first female African American cast member, and the only Obie winner, she was best known for her outspoken ghetto chick Cabrini Green Jackson, and her witty take on Marlo Thomas, That Black Girl. Danitra succumbed to breast cancer at the age of 35.

1986-1987

Only Nora Dunn, Jon Lovitz and Dennis Miller made the cut. But most of the new faces of this season stayed on for the long haul.

Dana Carvey. Dana transformed himself into more than 60 characters in his seven years on the show, including two Davids (Duke and Lee Roth), two Jimmys (Stewart and Carter), two Princes (Albert and Charles), two Teds (Bundy and Koppel), two Johns and a Johnny (McLaughlin, Travolta and Carson), Paul McCartney, Pol Pot and five Georges (Burns, Bush, Will, Michael and Plimpton). As Bush, he debated himself as Ross Perot. And, of course, I can't leave out the Church Lady. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent.

Phil Hartman. Like Aykroyd, Phil specialized in beefy blusterers, sleazy pitchmen and normal types with an undercurrent of dementia. Lorne Michaels called him the "utility guy" because Phil was the anchor of any sketch he was in. He made the interesting choice of playing Reagan as a Machiavellian intellect hiding behind bumbling folksiness. His unexpected death was a shock to everyone who cared about him.

Jan Hooks. The first breakout female star since the early days. Hooks' characters teetered on the brink of insanity. Her Tammy Faye Bakker tested the limits of waterproof mascara. And her Candy Sweeney, with Nora Dunn as Liz Sweeney, tested the audience's tolerance for off-key warbling and lounge-act chutzpah. Today she can be seen as Dixie Glick on Primetime Glick.

Victoria Jackson. Victoria auditioned for SNL by reciting poetry in a Betty-Boop-on-helium voice while doing gymnastics, a feat she later reprised on Update. She recently appeared on Comedy Central's Strip Mall opposite Julie Brown. She is a devout Christian.

1987-1988

Kevin Nealon. Mr. Subliminal joined the cast in 1987 and took over the Update desk in 1991. Thanks to Franz, the bodybuilder he played alongside Dana Carvey's Hans, "Ve vant to pump you up!" echoed throughout fitness classes across the nation. Kevin currently hosts The Conspiracy Zone on TNN.

1989-1990

Mike Myers. Would it be fair to blame Mike Myers for the SNL curse? The one that goes, "Good character, bad movie?" Without Wayne's World, there would be no A Night at the Roxbury, no Superstar, no Ladies Man. Except Wayne's World was a good movie. Mike went on to make Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and Goldmember. Must remember to thank him for not making the Linda Richman movie.

1991-1992

Chris Farley. What can you say about a funny fat guy who dies? Too bad he didn't pick a different role model than his idol John Belushi. John was funnier, Farley was fatter and needier. Chris would do anything to get a laugh. The inept motivational speaker Matt Foley was Farley's funniest and most truthful character.

Chris Rock. No question Rock is funnier on The Chris Rock Show than he was on SNL, but then, he's funnier on SNL than he is in Bad Company opposite Anthony Hopkins. As his angry black character Nat X, host of The Dark Side, might have said, "You gotta watch out for the man or he'll co-opt you." Let's hope that Chris doesn't end up like Eddie, farting in a fat suit.

Julia Sweeney. Julia's most famous character was also her most infamous one: The movie version of It's Pat! closed before it opened. No longer on SNL, separated from her husband, she was diagnosed with cancer after moving to Los Angeles, then her brother got cancer and her parents moved in with her to take care of him. She turned her experiences into a one-woman show, God Said Ha!, to critical and audience raves. Ha, indeed.

1992-1993

Rob Schneider. Rob's specialty was playing annoying characters like the Orgasm Guy, the Sensitive Naked Man and the Copy Guy, Richard Laymer a.k.a. the Richmeister. His short-lived TV series was called Men Behaving Badly. Rob starred in Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo, which was not based on a SNL character, though it was bad enough to have been.

1993-1994

Just as the cast seemed stabilized, contracts expired, people left and featured players quickly moved up into the rep company.

Ellen Cleghorne. Ellen assumed the mantle of feisty black woman with her character Queen Shenequa. She also played every black woman known to the media, and one black man, Dr. Dre. Her short-lived TV series was called Cleghorne. The name Ellen was already taken.

Melanie Hutsell. Melanie's best-known impression was Jan Brady, but her repertoire also included Anne Murray, Charo, Monica Seles, Ricki Lake, Tammy Wynette, Tonya Harding, Tori Spelling and Wynonna Judd.

Michael McKean. Already well known as Lenny Kosnowski of Laverne and Shirley, David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap and Gibby Fiske of Dream On, Michael impersonated Howard Stern, Vincent Price and Jeffrey Dahmer during his season-and-a-half SNL stint. He can now be seen as Adrien Van Voorhees, the harpist-sidekick on Primetime Glick, who may be an acquaintance or even a relative of Stefan Vanderhoof from Best in Show.

Tim Meadows. During his nine-plus seasons, Tim rang every variation on people of color, from Clarence Thomas to Erykah Badu. Though he never played Yasir Arafat, he did essay Anwar Sadat. His prime character, Leon Phelps, wound up with his own SNL movie, The Ladies Man. 'Nuff said.

Adam Sandler. The role model of slackers everywhere, Adam may disappoint his core audience by actually acting opposite indie darling Emily Watson in the Cannes favorite Punch-Drunk Love, directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. His breakout characters on SNL were Opera Man and Cajun Man. His Hanukkah Song gets airplay every Christmas.

David Spade. Spade's "Hollywood Minute" was a popular Update feature. He also created Christy the Gap Girl. He and Chris Farley teamed up in Tommy Boy and Black Sheep. David currently plays Finch on Just Shoot Me. In a Hollywood Minute-worthy story of his own, he was assaulted by his assistant, Skippy.

1994-1995

Morwenna Banks. The fact that Morwenna was an SNL cast member has been erased from many people's mental hard drives. She starred in her own series in England and appeared as Angel in the 2001 TV movie Model, Actress, Whatever.

Chris Elliott. The "guy from under the seats" on the original David Letterman show, Chris also starred in his own series, Get a Life, in 1990, and in Cabin Boy in 1994. On SNL, he joined the evergrowing ranks of those who played Yasir Arafat.

Janeane Garofalo. Before joining SNL, Janeane was a cult favorite as the talent booker Paula on The Larry Sanders Show, and as a regular on The Ben Stiller Show. She showed up with attitude and left the same way. Since then, she has appeared in numerous features, including The Truth About Cats and Dogs. She played action superheroine the Bowler in Mystery Men. Not surprisingly, she had nothing good to say about it.

Norm Macdonald. Norm took over the Update desk when Kevin left, then was fired in March 1998, rumor had it because network honcho Don Ohlmeyer didn't find the barbs he directed at Don's pal O.J. Simpson amusing. In his ABC sitcom, Norm, he played Norm Henderson, an amoral drinker, smoker, gambler and womanizer. Norm's revenge came in October 1999 when he was invited back to SNL as a host.

Mark McKinney. Kids in the Hall vet McKinney played a long list of characters as diverse as Ellen DeGeneres, Lance I to and Slobodan Milosevic (but not Yasir Arafat). Like his fellow Kids, he was not averse to donning a dress, although he's not the gay one.

1995-1996

Jim Breuer. Always and forever Goat Boy. No Yasir Arafat, but he did play Fidel Castro. His Joe Pesci and Colin Quinn's De Niro lured the actual Pesci and De Niro to do cameos in an on-air confrontation.

Will Ferrell. Janet Reno's Dance Party. The song stylings of Marty Culp and Bobbi Mohan-Culp. Alex Trebek in Celebrity Jeopardy. Professor Roger Klarvin and his "lovah," Virginia. And the definitive George W. Bush. Who can forget his shock when he learned he had to act presidentiary for four whole years? This year Will left SNL for features. First starring vehicle: Elf.

Darrell Hammond. His many impressions surfed the political wave from Bill Clinton to Al Gore to Dick Cheney. His Clinton was good enough to get him invited to Washington—twice, by both Clinton and Bush. He's also played Lamar Alexander, John Ashcroft, Tom Brokaw, Jimmy Carter, Walter Cronkite, Al D'Amato, Sam Donaldson, Jerry Falwell, Richard Gephardt, Newt Gingrich, Rudy Giuliani, Jesse Helms, Jesse Jackson, Peter Jennings, Ted Koppel, Trent Lott, Chris Matthews, Dan Rather, Tom Ridge, Charlie Rose and Donald Rumsfeld.

David Koechner. In his one season, he played Burt Reynolds, Charlie Sheen, Pat Buchanan and David Kaczynski, brother of the Unabomber. He has gone on to work in TV and movies, including Wag the Dog and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

Cheri Oteri. Cheri's perky Spartan cheerleader was the revenge fantasy of every shy, uncoordinated teen. And she captured the bitchy hauteur and not just the accent of TV grande dame Barbara Walters. Since leaving SNL in 2000, she's appeared in Scary Movie.

Molly Shannon. Shannon's characters range from weirdly uninhibited (the exuberant Sally O'Malley, scissor-kicking joyologist Helen Madden, Circe Nightshade on "Goth Talk,") to weirdly repressed (Terry Rialto on "Delicious Dish"). Or both, like her armpit-sniffing, tree-licking Catholic schoolgirl, Mary Catherine Gallagher, star of the prematurely named feature Superstar. Molly was one reason why critics stopped writing "Saturday Night Dead" articles and said the show was worth watching again.

Nancy Walls. Nancy doesn't raise a blip on the radar screens of most SNL fans. But you can get her in your sights these days on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, where she banters with hubby Steve Carell, reports from Wall Street as the Money Bunny and investigates such cultural phenomena as a man who masturbates elephants for a living.

1996-1997

Ana Gasteyer. Another reason why people started to say, "Hey, those women on SNL are good." Martha Stewart and Celine Dion like her impressions of them so much, they asked her to appear in shows with them. Are they seeing what I'm seeing? If so, they must be gluttons for punishment. This fall Ana left SNL for her new role as a real-life mom, breaking the hearts of nerds who hoped to hear more "Delicious Dish" about "Schweddy Balls" next time Alec Baldwin hosts.

Chris Kattan. Chris has worked both sides of the street on SNL, playing Anne Heche, Christiane Amanpour, Farrah Fawcett and Scary Spice as well as Antonio Banderas, Ricky Martin and, yes, Yasir Arafat. His Mr. Peepers is pure id unleashed. And everyone loves Mango.

Tracy Morgan. The first black cast member who hasn't seemed like "the black cast member." I like him best doing backstage chat as himself, asking the guest host inappropriate questions as Rachel Dratch tries to cover for him. When Jon Stewart seemed not to know what Tracy meant by asking if he liked to "get lifted," Rachel explained that when she didn't know what Tracy was talking about, it usually involved drugs.

1997-1998

Colin Quinn. A wonderful stand-up who found himself behind the Weekend Update desk without a paddle in the wake of Norm Macdonald's precipitous departure. After Colin left SNL, Lorne Michaels backed his one-man play An Irish Wake and also produced The Colin Quinn Show, a three-episode comedy-variety show of which Quinn himself said, "It's got ill-fated written all over it." What does Colin have on Lorne?

1999-2000

Jimmy Fallon. I feel about Jimmy Fallon the same way Maya Rudolph's Megan in "Wake Up, Wakefield!" feels about Randy Goldman. What's not to like? He's cute, he's funny, he can sing and he's really, really nice. His Seinfeld cracked Seinfeld up. He played the young Mick Jagger with Mick in a mirror! Now he's in Woody's next movie. Awesome. And I don't even mind that he giggles during Weekend Update.

Chris Parnell. Somebody had to play Tom Brokaw and Jim Lehrer in the 2000 presidential debates, and Chris Parnell did a darn good job of it. He's Sean De-Marco, dancer wannabe and devoted brother to Chris Kattan's Kyle DeMarco, and Wayne Bloder, brother to Jimmy Fallon's swinging single Kip Bloder. I'd say he's bucking for "utility guy."

Horatio Sanz. SNL's first Latino cast member is more than just "the funny fat guy." His Gene Shalit could fool Gene himself. I like his stoner sidekick Gobi on Jarrett's Room." People like that used to hang out at the old SNL. Watch for his Ozzy to get more of a workout.

2001-2002

Rachel Dratch. Rachel has a rubber face. Compare and contrast her big-eyed sex-obsessed "lovah" Virginia Klarvin with her buttoned-up Sheldon, host of "Wake Up, Wakefield." Her slutty Boston teen Denise has turned "Sully!" into a catchphrase. And did you know she plays the cello?

Tina Fey. When Tina started doing Weekend Update, I told her to lose the glasses. Now she's "the thinking man's sex symbol." How wrong can you be? But I knew she would be a hit. Lorne Michaels has compared Jimmy and Tina to Astaire and Rogers, saying, "She gives him sex and he gives her class." Or is it the other way around?

Amy Poehler. Soon, SNL rep company members will be young enough to have been conceived during the original SNL. Conan O'Brien's fans may remember Amy as Stacey, Andy Richter's little sister. Now she's in a fancy-schmancy movie with Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins, The Devil and Daniel Webster. She does "angry and twisted" great—witness her Tonya Harding.

Maya Rudolph. Her character Britanica in "Gemini's Twin" comes by her musical chops honestly: She is the daughter of the late vocalist Minnie Riperton. Her band opened for Alanis Morissette, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Garbage. She plays black, white and Asian, as both Lucy Liu and Lisa Ling. I love her in-your-face airport security checker-postal worker Jackie.

Snl classic: Aykroyd and belushi as jake and elwood blues.

Meet The Anchors

1. Chevy Chase, 1975-1976. He's Chevy Chase and You're not. So Who's the Lucky One Now?

2. Jane Curtin, 1976-1980. Memorable Moment Jane flashing her cleavage in a Black Bra, Exclaiming, "Take that Connie Chung!" Connie had no Comment.

3. Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd, 1977-1978. "Jane, You Ignorant slut!" was added to America's Slang Lexicon.

4. Jane Curtin and Bill Murray, 1978-1980. I'm pretty sure Bill was the first Person in America to refer to Woody Allen as "The Woodman." Woody had no comment.

5. Charles Rocket, 1980-1981. Who the Fuck is Charles Rocket? He's the one who said Fuck on TV.

6. Gail Matthius, 1981. Does anyone even Gail Matthius herself, remember this?

7. Brian Doyle-Murray, 1981-1981, Well, He had the Last Name for it.

8. Mary Gross, 1981-1982. Maybe it would have worked better if she had done it as Dr. Ruth. or Pee-Wee Herman.

9. Christine Ebersole, 1982. When all else fails, try a cute blonde.

10. Bradhall, 1982-1984. or not.

11. Christopher Guest 1984-1985. The only Member of the British Peerage ever to Host Update.

12. Dennis Miller, 1985-1991. The Rant is born.

13. Kevin Nealon, 1991-1994. Drier than Bonp's Martini. He never seemed Shaken or Stirred.

14. Norm Macdonald, 1994-1997. Asked to Leave and then asked to host. Norm will have to take back all those mean things he said about O.J. Simpson when the juice finds the real killers.

15. Colin Quinn, 1998-2000. Working-Mans Update.

16. Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey, 2000-Present. If they were canadian Ice Skaters. They would get the gold, no question.

Saturday night live has qiven us big stars, spectacular death and dozens of has beens. The show's founding mother looks back at the 79 cast members and tells 79 stories.