The Playboy Office Sex

Last August we invited Playboy readers and visitors to Playboy.com to participate in an office sex survey. We had a notion that lust was alive and well in the workplace, back in the hands of consenting adults where it belongs. As a nation, we'd moved beyond Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas or the Monica and Bill Show.

The response was overwhelming. More than 10,000 men and women answered a 28-question survey. In addition, our subjects poured out their hearts in essays, When we finally closed the site, we had compiled more than half a million words on the fine points of office sex.

Most of the sex seems to happen after work or on weekends, at his place or her place. But the stories and stats also captured the spontaneity of sex at the office. (Odd fact: For every three who had intercourse with their clothes on, two (text continued on page 94) reported getting completely naked.) Many of our subjects did it on company time on company premises--on desks, on couches, in conference rooms, in copy or supply closets, in parking lots--or in hotels on business trips. The range of sexual behavior is wholesome, joyful and sophisticated.

It begins with fantasy.

Women were nearly twice as likely to have had sexual thoughts about the boss (43 percent of our female respondents compared with 24 percent of the men). Women were twice as likely to say power is an aphrodisiac (40 percent versus 17 percent).

Fantasy leads to fact. Almost half (46 percent) of the women who had office sex slept with the boss; only 18 percent of the men could make that claim. The statistics suggest that they do it in the corporate suite. Among the women who had office sex, 37 percent did it in the boss' office or on his desk. Undoubtedly, these differences reflect the demographics of power--there are more male bosses in the workplace.

An old saw holds that women sleep up, while men sleep around. Indeed, men were more likely than women to sleep with peers (75 percent versus 65 percent). Demographics might explain why men were more likely than women to fantasize about subordinates (29 percent versus 19 percent) or clients or customers (48 percent versus 36 percent)--they are in more positions of power and may travel more. But one finding took us by complete surprise:

When we asked what was sexy about the office, the overwhelming majority of respondents cited flirting. Teasing works. More than half of the men and women said familiarity and proximity breed lust (spend enough time with someone and eventually you'll be tempted). The same number said curiosity ("What are they really like?") was a motivating factor. Men were more likely to be aroused by office fashion, but only slightly (60 percent versus 48 percent of women).

About a third of our subjects said that competence was attractive and that the level of communication in the office was better than with strangers. About one in five thought that teamwork was an aphrodisiac.

Even without consummating the act, some found the atmosphere pleasurable:

I worked in an office as the only male with 15 women. Under today's rules I had an ironclad case for sexual harassment. I was groped, grabbed and repeatedly propositioned. But being such a sex object was actually one of the most gratifying experiences of my life. It made me blush a few times, but I'd go home feeling sexy.(Male, married, 34)

And going all the way was even better:

I was working for a large company(continued on page 100)Sex Survey(continued from page 97) in downtown Houston and was very attracted to a man I worked closely with. There was a lot of flirting between us, and one night while working late, we just started kissing in the conference room. We were fondling each other, ripping clothes, sucking, licking--you name it, we were doing it. We were lying on the table, and neither of us had a condom and I was not about to take any chances. I rolled on top of him and slid him down to the edge of the table, got on my knees and gave him a blow job. Before he came, he grabbed me, ripped off my bra and threw me down on the table. He came all over the place. There was come on the charts and ad work we were to present the next morning at a board meeting. (Female, married, 29)

It's fun to see a sexual partner on a daily basis, especially when your relationship is secret. We heard it described as eight hours of foreplay, delightful distraction, being in heat all the time. More than one person said office sex provided motivation: "I started arriving earlier and working later, and I never took a day off because of illness."

The most common complaint about sex in the workplace was not the sex but the end of sex. Jealousy, turf wars and close proximity can make breaking up problematic. The confined space that makes office sex sizzle can turn a breakup into bad theater ("She was a drama queen") or unending torture.

When I saw her at work the next day, she treated me like nothing had happened. I tried to start a conversation with her at her desk, and she basically blew me off. It was a self-esteem destroyer. I felt completely used and refused. She's still working with me, but I've heard she's taken advantage of a couple of my co-workers and has gotten herself a nasty reputation. At least her being talked about behind her back has provided me with some sense of revenge, but to this day, even though I got laid and everything, I'm disgusted about having been played by a chick. (Male, single, 21)

The workplace is like high school, only you get paid to show up. If you handle yourself knowing you will see the person again, you should survive.

Lust and Marriage

• About a third of office flings were just that--one-shot affairs or something that was over in a few days.

• About a third lasted longer than a few weeks.

• About a quarter evolved into multiyear relationships.

• Seven percent of the men who had office sex ended up marrying their partner; six percent of the women did.

We had a secret affair for about four months. Every day we would fuck. Either he would ask to see me in his office (he would lift up my skirt as he bent me over his desk), or we would have a nooner at his apartment. One time he called me into the warehouse area and we fucked against a wall in the storage area. It was the greatest sex of my life--this man made me come every time. Eventually, we got caught. We left work early to go to a Cubs game, and we were sitting in the front row when he got hit in the head with a bat. The accident appeared all over the TV, and from then on everyone knew. In the end we got married. And, yes, we have a tape of the Cubs game. (Female, married, 24)

We asked our group to describe their most recent office fling:

• 48 percent of the women and 61 percent of the men said both partners were single.

• 29 percent of the women and 16 percent of the men said their partner was married.

• Eight percent of the women and nine percent of the men said they were the ones cheating.

• 15 percent of the women and 14 percent of the men said that both were married.

I was dancing with her at the office Christmas party when she leaned toward me and said, "If you weren't married, I'd want to suck your cock." I asked, "Why should you care that I'm married--you are, too!" She shrugged and smiled. We danced. Then she took me by the hand out of the room. Another company was having its Christmas party at the same hotel. "Let's join them," she said. She turned around, with her back to me, and put my hands on her breasts. People were trying not to look. She worked her hand down the front of my pants. "You're so hard," she whispered in my ear. I noticed that the party was being videotaped, but it didn't matter. No one here knew us. She took me by the hand, again, and we walked out the door into a hallway. We went into an adjacent office building and stepped behind a concrete column. She dropped to her knees and undid my trousers. After a few moments had passed, she paused to look up and say, "I want you to come across my face." "No," I replied, "I want to have sex with you." She said, "I've never done that with anyone but my husband, and I haven't got a condom." I took a condom out of my pocket and put it on. She stood up, then bent over against a concrete column. Lifting her dress and pulling her panties to the side, she stuck her ass out toward me--"How do you want me?" I entered her and began thrusting, leaning against the column with my left arm. Then we noticed we were being watched. Maintenance workers down the walkway, in the door of the hotel, were looking our way. "Shh," I said, and began to thrust more slowly. Suddenly, she straightened up, brushed her dress down and set off walking down the pathway back to the hotel. There I was, with my pants around my ankles, my cock throbbing in a condom, alone in the night. I pulled up my pants, buckled my belt and followed her back, catching up with her as she arrived at the hotel bar. It was pretty clear we weren't going to finish. Her husband was at the bar when we walked in. "Where the hell have you two been?" Then, turning to me, "Fucking my wife?" We had a good laugh about that. I ordered a drink, then excused myself to go to the men's room to take off the condom. (Male, married, 42)

Call it the "I may be married, but I'm not dead" factor. Marrieds were just as likely as singles to flirt, fantasize and gossip. Husbands were more likely than singles to spend time looking at sex sites on the Internet (41 percent of married guys compared to 34 percent of single guys). Although they socialized after work, married people were twice as likely as singles to view an invitation to drinks as work-related, not sexual.

Married men were more likely than singles to have had sex with a subordinate (32 percent versus 24 percent), perhaps because they tended to be older (and, consequently, more likely to be in positions with people working under them). Married women were less likely than single women to have slept with the boss (36 percent versus 49 percent). When it came to having sex with interns, though, singles of either gender were the most likely opportunists. Bill Clinton was an exception, not the rule.

On the trust-your-lust question, single and married men were in harmony with their hormones. But married women were far more likely to admit that the office tempted them (41 percent said they would not have been interested in the same guy outside the office, compared to 28 percent of singles).

Marital status influenced where lovers had sex: Married people were far less likely to bring the affair home for obvious reasons. The married were slightly more likely to have sex in hotels and motels. Married men also favored quickies in the parking lot. Those indulging in a little extramarital action were less inclined than singles to do it on desks, conference tables and the like. Call it restraint or discretion (more on that in a moment). When one member was married, the participants were far more likely to try to keep the affair secret.

She was the head of one department; I was the head of another. It started with drinks after work and turned into a daily sexfest. We found reasons to be in each other's office three or four times a day. On the way to lunch I would barely have the car in gear before she would have my pants undone and be sucking me. For two years we didn't eat lunch. She was both an exhibitionist and a sexual dynamo. She'd wear no bra, a garter belt and no parities. In crowded meetings she'd expose herself to me and make sexual gestures. Then we would hit an office and (concluded on page 180)Hot Chocolate (continued from page 100) fuck for an hour or so. We were almost caught several times. Once, we were fucking on the floor and I heard a co-worker rattle his keys as he approached the door. I sat behind my desk (hiding my erection) and she stepped into my closet--completely nude. Her clothes were under my desk. She came out of the closet unbelievably horny. That's when we started our "risky sex" phase. We would fuck after-hours in the lobby, on the stage of the auditorium (during hours), on the hood of my car, in theaters, restaurants and bars. The risk of getting caught was the thrill. I should have married her. We were both already married, though. (Male, married, 45)

The consequences of cheating don't have to be outlined in the employee handbook:

I had a very hot anything-goes sexual relationship with the boss' wife some years back. We got caught. She had written me a letter about how much she enjoyed all our positions and toys, along with in-depth details of how we used our tongues to pleasure each hole in our bodies. She decided not to give it to me, instead tearing it up and throwing it into the trash. He found it and pieced it together. When he presented it to me for an explanation, I did not lie. I told him everything and how sorry I was. Of course, I was fired. They divorced and we were together for six more years. That was the best sex I have ever had. (Male, divorced, 55).

Some of our subjects said they had sex only with married people, on the assumption that married lovers had as much to lose and would honor discretion. Not all were as ugly or brazen as this boss:

Twice I was involved in close relationships to the extent that when the affair ended it was impossible for us to keep working together. On both occasions, I fired the person with no feelings of guilt--sorry, it wasn't sexual harassment in my mind. Both times the woman was the aggressor in starting the relationship and then raising it to the level of talking marriage. Both breakups were unpleasant. By most standards, I'm sure the women could have sued me for sexual harassment--though I doubt their husbands would have enjoyed the publicity of a trial. (Male, divorced, 42)

Or as vengeful as this woman scorned:

I am currently in a lawsuit. At the time of the affair I was 22 and single. He was 35 and married. Our affair lasted from July 2001 through January 2002, when his wife had a baby (he told me they were not planning to have kids anytime soon). He went to human resources and played a message in which I threatened to get him fired. At the same time, he pulled a Bill Clinton, stating he had never hung out with me or been physical with me, ever. When I got called in (you see, I am a smart blonde), I presented a recorded conversation in which he admitted to having me dress up like a schoolgirl. And, sorry, I also have the Monica DNA evidence. But the company decided to keep this man despite our affair and let me go. They tried to offer me severance twice. I was advised by the labor board to get an attorney. (Female, single, 23)

The Legacy

One out of 10 female respondents had filed a sexual harassment complaint. Interestingly, men and women were equally vulnerable to such charges. About four percent of the men and five percent of the women said that they had been accused.

In the wake of the Hill-Thomas hearings, many, if not all, of the Fortune 500 companies instituted some kind of sexual harassment training program.

Fewer than half of the men and women who answered our survey had sat through such training. Of those who received training, a sixth found it useful, a third found it a waste of time and a third became more cautious. A sizable minority (nine percent of all males, 10 percent of all females) thought that such training had made things between the sexes worse.

Sexual harassment training seemed to have a greater impact on men than on women (not surprising, since most training depicts males as predators). They were more cautious, but not much. Still, subjects who had gone through a lecture on workplace etiquette admitted to telling sexy jokes, sending risqué e-mails or flirting.

The sexual harassment hysteria introduced the phrase "unwanted sexual attention" into the national vocabulary and equated it with something just this side of rape. The vast majority of our subjects said they had never made a pass that was rejected (that, or they simply had never made a pass). Of those who had been turned down, a third said it was no big deal. Only a few (six percent of women and four percent of men) said it created a problem. Not surprisingly, women were more likely than men to be the recipients of unwelcome passes, and significantly more likely to say the harassment had created a problem (13 percent versus four percent).

Companies seem loath to intrude on affairs between consenting adults. Only one fifth of our subjects said they worked for a place that policed dating. Two fifths of our subjects said their company had no policy; some (21 percent) expressed ignorance of a policy or disdain for one (20 percent), saying it was nobody's business but their own.

Some notes on the survey: We consulted with sociologist Janet Lever for help preparing the questionnaire. She was part of the team that designed the first Playboy Readers' Sex Survey in 1982 and has since become an expert on sex in the workplace. The current questionnaire ran for six weeks on Playboy.com. Director of Internet Technology Jamie Voris retrieved the data, Carol Edwards at Rand crunched the numbers. Editorial Assistant Malina Lee and Senior Staff Writer James R. Petersen tried to find the meaning of it all.

The people who answered the survey reflected the demographics of the Internet. The average age of the men was 29; that of the women was 26. The ratio was nine to one, male to female. We suspect that the women who are comfortable visiting the Playboy website are more likely to be sexually liberal. Some of the answers support that. Would the 155 women who confessed to making photocopies of their genitals on the office Xerox please forward proof?

Once I was sitting in a meeting with four omer people, and I realized I'd slept with everyone in the room at one time or another it makes it easy in control a meeting when every person thinks he has a secret, special connection with you, (Female married, 35)

Pro Con

Never dip your pen in the company ink? when it comes to office dating, I say, No risk, no reward. Screw the policy. Are you your own man or not?

(Male, single, 24)

I have a policy against dating co-workers, no matter how tempting. Going to work is like being arrested: Anything you say or do can be used against you. (Female single, 26)

more reasons why it's great to be gainfully employed

Raw Data

One out of two guys, and two out of three women, have had sex with someone from the office.

Who does whom?

Had sex with the boss

Males: 18% Females: 46%

Had sex with a peer

Males: 75% Females: 65%

Had sex with a subordinate

Males: 26% Females: 22%

Had sex with a intern

Males: 12% Females: 20%

Had sex with a client/customer

Males: 24% Females: 29%

When do they have sex?

During work

Males: 38% Females: 48%

After work

Males: 72% Females: 65%

During lunch break

Males: 28% Females: 37%

On business trips

Males: 21% Females: 28%

After an office party

Males: 23% Females: 31%

On the weekend

Males: 53% Females: 48%

Where do they do it?

Their place

Males: 56% Females: 52%

Their lover's place

Males: 52% Females: 45%

In a hotel or motel

Males: 39% Females: 39%

On a desk

Males: 33% Females: 45%

On a couch or chair

Males: 37% Females: 43%

On the floor

Males: 33% Females: 41%

In a bathroom, locker room or shower

Males: 32% Females: 41%

In the parking lot

Males: 30% Females: 33%

In a closet or supply room

Males: 20% Females: 30%

In the mail room or copy room

Males: 11% Females: 21%

In the boss' office

Males: 18% Females: 37%

What else goes on?

Flirting

Males: 86% Females: 81%

Joking about sex

Males: 75% Females: 67%

Sending rlsqué e-mail

Males: 32% Females: 36%

Visiting sex sites on the Internet

Males: 36% Females: 38%

Kissing

Males: 43% Females; 55%

Fondling, petting or mutual masturbation

Males: 27% Females: 40%

Oral sex

Males: 29% Females: 42%

Masturbation

Males: 32% Females: 40%

Keeping condoms or birth-control devices In your desk

Males: 17% Females: 30%

Having sex with his or her regular partner In the office

Males: 19% Females: 23%

Two out of three women and three out of four men reported that they had sexual thoughts about co-workers.

Women were more likely than men to sleep with interns (20 percent versus 12 percent).

The Why of office sex

Q: If you met the same person outside of work, would you have been interested? (Continued on page 97) Eight out of 10 men said yes; seven out of 10 women said the same. On the other hand, this means two out of 10 men and three out of 10 women believed the office created interest and/or swayed sexual judgment.

In Their Own Words

The Hot, the Heavy, the Hilarious:

True Confessions from the Corridors of Power

On the Same Page

We were working late one night, just the two of us. I went to my office to look at something, and when I came back, there she was, standing absolutely naked in the middle of the office. She was unconcernedly pasting up a page, acting for all the world like nothing unusual was going on. I picked her up in my arms. I laid her on my desk. After we'd both had shuddering, explosive orgasms, we went back to work. (Male, married, 45)

Road Trip Rules

I travel a lot on business and find the experience liberating. On one trip, I masturbated while standing naked in front of my hotel window, looking across at an apartment building. I saw somebody watching. We both masturbated while watching each other, then I made motions for him to call. He wound up in my bed. Being watched while in the window was the fulfillment of a fantasy for me; the rest was icing on the cake. (Female, married, 32)

Worst Nightmare

I was involved with a paralegal in my office. We had a fun affair that lasted a couple of weeks, almost completely in the workplace. We screwed in different offices after hours and in a document storage room at lunch, and one afternoon I closed her door for a "meeting" and had her give me head, Then I met someone special. I broke off the affair with the paralegal, and she went ballistic and started stalking me. She came to my apartment several times and threatened to kill me. She called at all hours and would frequently run away from me crying. She told me it was love. It was absolutely crazy. We had never gone on a date. I still can't believe I didn't see how unstable she was before I started putting my dick in her. My fiancée is still making fun of me for that lapse in judgment. (Male, single, 33)

Office sex affected my work. All I could think about was how she looked naked. On the positive side, I started arriving earlier and working later, and I never took a day off because of illness. (Male, single, 32)

Express Male

My girlfriend had dared me to make it with the FedEx guy. I waited until a really hot one showed up, then I ambushed him. He never had a chance. I had him take the package to a supply room. I was only going to give him a blow job, but after he came in my mouth, he was still hard. I thought, What the hell. I sat on a pile of boxes and let him fuck me. During all the sex, I could hear people in the hall going about their business. (Female, single, 25)

My assistant pulled down her pants to reveal a black thong. She asked if I wanted to "get me some of that." (Male, no age given)

Better Than a Xerox

We had a new employee starting, and her office was set up, including a fresh coat of polish on the desk. When the employee walked into her office that Monday, there was an image baked by the weekend sun into her desk, that of a hairy ass and upper thighs, with palms-down handprints straddling the thighs. We called it our Shroud of Turin, and people kept guessing who it was. (Male, married, 31)

General Hospital

I work with a group of men and women on the inpatient unit at a psychiatric hospital. We were all around the same age and single, and it was not uncommon to hear of one coworker hooking up with another. My turn came one Saturday night after a long night of partying at a co-worker's apartment. I found myself a hot young blond who had just joined our staff. We ended up at his place and had a sex marathon for the next 12 hours. He ran out once to resupply our stock of condoms. Monday morning back at work was exciting as we smiled and giggled when we passed each other in the hall. Thoughts of his penis touching my lips and inside my warm, wet mouth only made me want him more. My fantasies came to a crashing halt when we met that night after work--I got "the talk." He said, "I try hard not to complicate my life." All I could think was, What was his problem? Eventually he moved on to another female co-worker, then an other. We all requested transfers. It was as if we all had become jaded, and it was no longer a fun, flirty place to work. Somehow we ruined it by bringing in all the thoughts and feelings that complicate things--jealousy, insecurity, confusion, possible love and most definitely lust.

(Female, single, 30)

The sexiest thing she ever did was to flash me via e-mail. One day she wore a short skirt and no undies. Throughout the day she'd e-mail photos taken under her desk.

(Male, single, 32)

News you Can Use

The Three-Martini Hunch

The majority of men and women said they socialize with their peers outside of work. More than half do so occasionally. Women were twice as likely as men to do so frequently (23 percent versus 13 percent). Some view it as a way to blow off steam. The rest had something else in mind.

28 percent of the women and 15 percent of the men said an invitation to have drinks is a definite indication of sexual interest, while more than half of our subjects said that it indicates a "maybe," a way for friends to test the waters.

At a weekend seminar (which included a cookout), I introduced the notion of tequila body shots. By one a.m., I was sitting on a sofa with a colleague on my lap. She was wearing a short pair of cutoffs, and I was running my hands up and down her legs. By two a.m., I had massaged her back and was slipping my hands under her shorts. By three a.m., I suggested that we go to the hot tub. (Male, married, 39)

The Risk

•22 percent of our respondents said they had stumbled across people having sex in the workplace.

•11 percent of our respondents said they had been caught in the act.

I was working late on an account when I saw Stacy, my incredibly hot and remarkably single co-worker, at the copy machine. She was wearing a very short skirt and no underwear. When she leaned over to grab something that had fallen behind the copier, her skirt slipped up and I saw everything. Noticing me, she asked if I liked what I saw. I answered with a mumble that sort of sounded like a yes. We screwed right then and there for what seemed like a couple of hours. After we finished we remembered the cameras on the ceiling and the no-sex-of-any-sort policy at work, but we didn't care. The next day we were called into the boss' office and fired on the spot. On the way out I asked for the tape, but he wouldn't give it to me. (Male, single, 24)

Gossip as Foreplay

• 35 percent of the men and 45 percent of the women gossiped about the behavior of co-workers.

• Not surprisingly, the people who gossiped were more likely to have had sex in the workplace.

Only one of our subjects defended reticence:

I do not participate in sexual gossip in a professional context. I really couldn't care less if the senior vice president likes to wear crotchless panties and be beaten with a cat-o'-nine-tails. If he is competent and effective and efficient in his professional duties, that's all I need to know about him. To know his sexual proclivities would only damage his credibility. Honestly, could you take direction from a man dressed like Little BoPeep? I couldn't.

On the other hand, there are those who gossiped about the boss:

I have heard that the chief executive and assistant had sex in his office and that their cleaner found a printed web-cam photograph shredded in the trash. This was soon followed by an employee-of-the-month award for the assistant, complete with a salary bonus. (Male, single, 18)

• 33 percent of men and 42 percent of women said they had tried to hook up with the subject of gossip.

I heard that this girl had been giving out blow jobs to anyone who came on to her. At first I didn't believe the gossip; this girl seemed like the quiet type. So the next day I went see her. I went into her office and after only a few words she was grabbing my package. Man, was I glad I heard that gossip! (Male, single, 21)

I treat work as my personal dating pool. It's great, unless the girls get pissed and spread rumors that you weren't good in bed or you have a small penis.

(Male, single, 26)

Memo to Legal

Who is off-Limits?

More than a third of the men and women said no one is off-limits, in effect stating that sex between consenting adults is the prevailing code.

But when we broke down potential sex partners by marital status, a clear prejudice emerged:

• About half of the men and women thought a married supervisor Is off-limits; fewer than 20 percent thought a single boss is taboo.

• The discrepancy was even greater for co-workers: Fortyone percent of the women and 45 percent of the men thought married peers are off-limits; 10 percent of the women and eight percent of the men thought the same of single co-workers.

• The same bias, almost four to one, applies to subordinates, clients and customers.

When we broke down the taboo by the subject's marital status, a fascinating pattem emerged. Single people were more likely to view married co-workers as off-limits. Those who are married were more likely to see other marrieds as fair game. (This may also be a factor of age. The median married man, for example, was 10 years older than the median single man, the married woman six years older than the single woman. Think seven-year itch.)

Our advice: Don't let marital status stop you. Flirt.

It is Harassment?

Almost everyone thought a boss who promotes a sex partner or who fires someone who turned him down is out of line. (Men were more inclined to condemn. Nine out of 10 men viewed such actions as harassment. Only eight out of 10 women did.) But certain actions that are promoted as zero-tolerance behaviors were not universally condemned.

• Only 26 percent of the men and 21 percent of the women thought that a boss who asks an employee out is committing harassment.

• More men than women (63 percent versus 49 percent) thought that an employee who keeps asking a co-worker out, after being turned down twice, is a pest.

• Only 22 percent of the men and 17 percent of the women thought that telling a woman she looks hot is actionable.

• Fewer than half the men and women thought that a boss who asks about their sex life or who volunteers details about his or her own sex life is guilty of harassment.

• Only 30 percent of the men and 24 percent of the women thought that telling dirty jokes in mixed company is out of line.

• Even touching is tolerated (a mere 15 percent of the men and 18 percent of the women object to a co-worker touching their arm or back while talking).

I think sexual talk and flirting are healthy. I've been a manager in several different offices and find I do my best work when I am working with a strong, bright person. I always get a sexual feeling when the work is good.

(Female, married, 34)