from the Edge
Significant findings, strange stories and news you can use
Fear Factors
Facing the consequences of casual sex
Women were twice as likely as men to worry about their reputations (36% to 17%). Men were more likely to worry that the women want a relationship (41% to 28%). A not-so-close friend set me up with someone. We talked a few times before meeting and had a pretty good first date. We ended up having sex. But she started saying "I love you" and that she had loved me from the first time we talked. She spoke about "our" money and "our" lives together. I tried to end it, but she wouldn't believe me. Then she threatened to kill herself if I left her. She was calling my home 35 times a day--more to my cell and pager. She finally gave up after a year.--Male, divorced, 30
In the middle of sex she said, "I shouldn't be doing this." I asked why. She wouldn't give me an answer. The next day she called to tell me she was on medication for an STD. I went through the pain of having a 10-inch Q-Tip shoved up my penis, and of course the test was positive.--Male, divorced, 46
About 75% of our respondents said their greatest concern was contracting a sexually transmitted disease (more than half had had an HIV test; the subject was a topic of conversation in almost half the hookups). Some 60% cited a fear of pregnancy; more than half always use a condom or birth control during casual sex.
The Morning After
How we handle it
I always ask for a phone number the next morning in hopes that she'll write her name along with it. That trick usually works, but sometimes they bust you and say, "What's my name?"--Male, single, 33
If he asks for my number I'll give it but then screen all my calls.--Female, single, 25
Sometimes I sneak out or tell her I have to get to a meeting. If she is worth pursuing, I do the breakfast-and-bloody-mary thing.--Male, divorced, 30
I tend to avoid "morning afters" by taking off or tossing them out before sunrise. If they hang around, I make breakfast and get rid of them as soon as possible, particularly during football season.--Male, single, 25
The morning after? What's that?--Male, single, 25
It's not always smooth sailing
21% of our subjects had been interrupted during a hookup--by roommates, strangers, or worse.
I was with a great-looking girl. It was our third date. We hadn't even shared a passionate kiss when--wham!--she was all over me in her parents' kitchen. I just let go and we started ripping our clothes off. Then the dog came in. Not a small yappy dog but a 140-pound rottweiler named Bunny. Bunny was very protective and bit into the back of my calf. So I'm lying on the kitchen floor, my pants around my ankles, and a dog is gnawing on my leg. My date was so freaked about the dog that she didn't even bother to come to the emergency room with me. I went home 37 stitches later.--Male, divorced, 39
Half of our respondents said they had bailed out of a sure thing. Last-minute scrutiny often derailed passion; 12% of the women and 10% of the guys found themselves turned off by their partner.
15% of women (but only 6% of men) stopped an encounter when the other person requested a form of sex that made them uncomfortable.
It was late, and we went to her place and were getting naked like it was the last time we were ever going to have sex. Everything was cool until she took out this crazy-looking toy she wanted to try on me. I was like, "no," and that was the end of that.--Male, single, 20
Hooked up with the hottest chick in the club. When I took her top off, she had more chest hair than me.--Male, 20
Only 49% of the men and 55% of the women said they knew the first and last names of every person with whom they'd had sex.
