The Playboy Casual Sex Survey

Him: What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?

Her: Wanna fuck?

Him: I thought you'd never ask.--Male, single, 31

Recently we invited visitors to playboy.com to participate in an online survey. Our goal: to discover the state of casual sex in an age of war, AIDS, uncertain economy, political conservatism and chat rooms. What, we wondered, has become of the one-night stand, the random hookup, the booty call, the good old-fashioned no-strings-attached fuck? Almost 10,000 people responded, answering a 43-item questionnaire and recounting conquests in four essay questions. Frankly, we're surprised they found the time, because the data they helped us compile suggest that for many Americans, the pursuit of casual sex isn't just a staple of reality TV--it's an inalienable right. Six out of 10 of our respondents said they were having as much or more casual sex now than five years ago.

Not surprisingly, most respondents were young (median age for men was 26, for women it was 23). Two thirds were single, though more than half of married respondents admitted to engaging in casual sex with someone other than their spouse in the past year. How casual were their encounters? True confessions spoke of getting freaky on the dance floor with strangers, throwing caution to the wind in elevators with new acquaintances, floating the light fantastic in hot tubs and getting buck wild in parks, alleys and those reliable standbys, backseats. Consider the following warp-speed courtship, courtesy of one of our respondents:

I was at a club with my girlfriends when this guy started freaking with me. Pretty soon we were kissing. Then he undid a couple of buttons on my blouse and started sucking my nipples. I slid my hand inside his pants and stroked his dick, and he reached under my skirt to rub my clit. I was so wet and horny, I couldn't wait. We moved to a corner up against a wall. It took about two seconds for him to pull my panties to the side, unzip and start fucking me from behind. I came almost immediately, and three more times before he came. When we got our breath back, he gave me a quick kiss and we both went to look for our friends. We never even spoke.--Female, single, 27

Thrill of the Hunt

That thrills-over-frills approach was also reflected in our subjects' language. Two thirds preferred the unadorned term fucking. Almost half called it hooking up. Relatively few (19 percent of men, 17 percent of women) referred to the sexual act as making love. We also heard the terms slam muffins, fuck buddies, one-hit wonders and our favorite, "the sexual relief of the week."

There was no consensus on how many times you could hook up with someone before it became a relationship. It was more a matter of intent than time. Two thirds of our subjects defined casual sex as simply sex for sex's sake, with no thought of becoming serious. Half cited spontaneity (i.e., it was casual if it was unplanned). About a third admitted to having casual sex with former lovers, the old-flame fuck.

When asked to explain why they pursued casual sex, three quarters of men and women credited excitement or acute horniness. About half attributed it to meeting someone they couldn't resist, the need for variety or the desire to have sex without the baggage of an actual relationship. One in four thought casual sex was a great workout. Hookup hopefuls reported being horny 24/7 but said they do most of their carousing on Friday and Saturday nights. Most subjects find a partner the traditional way--after getting hammered at a bar, dance club or college party.

Significantly, we did not find that the Internet had revolutionized casual sex, as so many headlines have trumpeted. A mere six percent of our sexual adventurers had made a lust connection in chat rooms. A word to the intrepid: The Net was mentioned in many "worst hookup" stories.

Head Games

When it came to the subtle psychology of casual sex, there were distinct differences between the sexes.

Women were twice as likely as men (38% vs. 20%) to have had a fling to make a third party jealous, or because they were angry at someone.

I was at a wrestling match, talking to one of the cheerleaders, and she asked me to take her home. When we got to her house, we proceeded to strip naked and get it on in the shower. As we walked out of the bathroom, her boyfriend, a wrestler, was waiting in the doorway. He was not happy that I had just fucked his girl, and he beat the living shit out of me. As I left, I heard her thank her boyfriend and then she began to have sex with him.--Male, single, 27

More men than women said their competitive nature or dares from friends were contributing factors in having casual sex.

A female friend of my roommate had come over, and my roommate was flirting with her, so I stayed away--until we started playing drinking games. We were dared to kiss each other, and even though it pissed my roommate off, I enjoyed it thoroughly. The night went on with her rubbing her hands all over my body under the table until we finally ran upstairs to my room. The only awkward part was when I realized I was out of condoms. She went back downstairs buck naked to ask my roommate for one.--Male, single, 26

In past surveys, casual sex implied a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am disregard for quality coitus. No more. On the basics (oral sex and intercourse), favorite positions or number of orgasms per encounter, there was no difference between the sex you get in a relationship and the sex you get on the fly. A significant number of casual sex encounters involved what used to be known as kinky stuff [see Data].

Why the shift, toward more casual sex, less guilt and more experimentation? One respondent may have hit upon the reason--a change in women's attitudes:

My best hookup was with a former boyfriend. We had been drinking, went to his place, stripped and went at each other tooth and tongue. When I was to the point where I just wanted to fuck, he held me down (the way I like it) and went for so long that I came several times within an hour. I woke up about half an hour later, pushed him off me (he was out cold) and slept in a different room. The next morning he asked me if I had used him. It was the best feeling to say, "Well, to be perfectly honest, yes."--Female, single, 19

Thanks for helping with the survey. Was it good for you, too?

Data in the Raw

Our respondents play with their percentages

How hot is hot?

51% of the men and 46% of the women we surveyed said they'd had sex within six hours of meeting someone for the first time.

What's the frequency?

Have had casual sex more than 10 times in the past year Men: 24% Women: 34%

Have had sex with two different people in a 24-hour period Men: 52% Women: 56%

Have had sex with three or more people in a single week Men: 38% Women: 41%

Have not had casual sex in the past year (i.e., they're in a monogamous relationship or in a coma) Men: 35% Women: 27%

Where they last hooked up

What is the longest time you've gone without sex?

Less than a month

Men: 26% Women: 34%

One to six months

Men: 32% Women: 32%

Longer:

Men: 42% Women: 35%

Broke their dry spell in a casual encounter Men: 58% Women: 50%

Lost their virginity in a casual encounter Men: 39% Women: 33%

Define your terms

Have someone they see just for sex, i.e., a fuck buddy Men: 40% Women: 53%

Have had casual sex with someone else while in a steady relationship Men: 54% Women: 62%

Consider that to be cheating Men: 59% Women: 60%

Do not think a lap dance counts as sex Men: 90% Women: 83%

Have had oral sex, but not intercourse, with more than five people Men: 24% Women: 29%

40% of the men and 42% of the women said the best sex they ever had was in a casual encounter

What they do

Mutual masturbation

Men: 48% Women: 49%

Oral sex

Men: 83% Women: 80%

Anal sex

Men: 25% Women: 30%

Bondage

Men: 10% Women 17%

Watch porn together

Men: 26% Women: 35%

Sex toys

Men: 18% Women: 28%

Take a shower together

Men: 52% Women: 47%

Group sex

Men: 14% Women: 22%

"Casual sex is a possibility when I'm clicking with a guy and I allow myself to 'slut out.' "--Female, 21