The Straight Dope

Whirled History

Take a Trip Back to the Stoned Age

George Washington Smoked Marijuana.

Word on the Street: Legalization advocates insist that when our first president wasn't fathering a nation, he was cultivating huge crops of hemp on his Virginia plantation. In a 1794 note to his gardener, Washington instructed, "Make the most of the Indian hemp seed, and sow it everywhere." While the plants were commonly used to make rope and paper (including the first draft of the Declaration of Independence), some amateur historians suspect that Washington cured the hemp into a smokable form to dull his chronic dental pain.

Straight Dope: We cannot tell a lie. Though there is no evidence that Washington ever rolled a fatty, he did grow barnfuls of hemp. Reports that he tried to amend the Constitution to make the pursuit of jam bands an inalienable right, however, seem unfounded.

Coca-Cola Once Contained Cocaine.

Word on the Street: Almost everyone who's ever had a Coke and a smile has heard that the original formula for the world's most famous soft drink contained ample doses of a certain addictive secret ingredient. Coca-Cola's inventor, Dr. John Pemberton, became a morphine addict during the Civil War and was desperate for a cure. He turned to a new (and perfectly legal) miracle drug called cocaine. So when he whipped up his sugary brown "nerve tonic" in 1886, he loaded it with a potent extract of coca leaves. How would the original formula measure up to modern standards? A six-ounce serving of Coca-Cola contained 8.45 milligrams of blow-chug four bottles and you'd be ready to wrestle your mule. "Keith Richards could definitely get off on it," says Mark Pender-grast, author of For God, Country and Coca-Cola. "But he'd have to go to the bathroom a lot." Coke's punch was an open secret: For years official sign language for the soda was the motion of jabbing a needle in your arm.

Straight Dope: The enduring Coke legend is the real thing. But a wave of hysteria about cocaine addiction swept America shortly after the turn of the century, and by 1929 Coke was–sigh–coke-free.

Star Freakers

These Celebs Would Like to Thank all the Little Dealers out there.

Robert Mitchum Smoked Pot before Scenes to get that Sleepy-Eyed Look.

Word on the Street: Mitchum was first introduced to marijuana–which he called "the poor man's whiskey"–as a teenage hobo. Once he hit Hollywood he continued to smoke and got busted for it in a 1948 police raid. (He went to a prison farm for two months.) During the filming of The Night of the Hunter the producer reported that an unrepentant Mitehum "was on drugs, drunk and what have you, and there were times when we couldn't get him in front of the camera." After filming was canceled one day because of his condition, Match retaliated by pissing in the front seat of the producer's car.

Straight Dope: Accounts of Mitchum's herbal motivation technique are no bunk.

Cary Grant was an Avid LSD User

Word on the Street: Despite his elegant demeanor, the star of Topper and North by Northwest dropped prodigious amounts of acid at the height of his career. "I have been born again," said Grant about discovering LSD in the early 1950s, according to the 1991 biography Evenings With Cary Grant: Recollections in His Own Words and by Those Who Knew Him Best. The actor rode the magic carpet hard: In one hallucination he morphed into an enormous penis that rocketed toward space. Grant not only tripped more than 100 times and credited acid with helping him forgive his parents and control his drinking, he also turned a young Timothy Leary on to LSD. "Cary changed my views," said Leary. "He converted me."

Straight Dope: Far out–Grant was indeed a pioneering psychonaut.

Music in their Veins

Time to Drop the Needle on Some Greatest Hits

Keith Richard Cleaned up by Getting a Complete Blood Transfusion.

Word on the Street: Richards has never been coy about his longtime love of heroin. But during the Stones' 1973 European tour he could barely make it onto the stage. "The tours were extremely grueling in those days," says biographer Victor Bockris. "But a real heroin cure takes two to three months at least, and they didn't have that kind of time." So Keef slipped off to a secret clinic to have his entire blood supply replaced with clean, grade-A hemoglobin. Voila!

Straight Dope: Richards was brought to a Swiss clinic but not for a complete transfusion. He underwent "hemiodialysis," whereby blood is pumped through a membrane, filtering out toxic substances. Why has the transfusion story proven so durable? Bockris points to Keith's encouragement of his 1970s image as an "elegantly wasted vampire. But this is one of the myths he's actually tried to correct." Another one he wants rectified: that he actually died in 1981.

Grace Slick Dosed Richard Nixon with LSD

Word on the Street: Jefferson Airplane singer Slick attended the same finishing school as Nixon's daughter, so in 1970 she snagged an invite to a White House tea. She stashed LSD in her coat pocket, planning to spike capitalist pig Nixon's Earl Grey. Wheel Straight Dope: Slick did attempt to pull off the greatest practical joke in White House history, and failed. She was almost through the door when the Secret Service blocked her way. They didn't want her "bodyguard"–hippie activist Abbie Hoffman–anywhere near Tricky Dick. "We got hysterical thinking about how the White House would react to his saying 'The walls are melting,'" Slick recalled in a 1992 Life story. "So they were right. I was a security risk."

Pink Floyd's Dark side of the Moon is a Soundtrack for the Wizard of OZ.

Word on the Street: Somehow, somewhere, one very stoned individual discovered that if you start playing Floyd's 1973 masterpiece and the 1939 movie classic at the same time, they become "synchronized." "Brain Damage" subs for the Scarecrow's "If I Only Had a Brain," and the lyrics "far away across the field" are heard as Dorothy skips through a meadow (a scene long subject to speculation about poppy-like flora). DJs touted the theory, leading to midnight movies packed with sweet-smelling devotees in the late 1990s.

Straight Dope: Pay no attention to the bullshig behind the curtain. Dark Side producer Alan Parsons scoffs, explaining that Floyd members never discussed Oz in the studio and that VCRs didn't exist when the album was recorded. Watch Oz/Dark Side straight–just once–and you'll realize that for every strained coincidence there are a hundred nonparallel moments. But crank up AC/DC's High Voltage along with Mary Poppins and you will learn the meaning of life.

Elvis was (and maybe Still is) a Dea Agent.

Word on the Street: On December 21, 1970, Elvis left a letter for President Nixon at the White House gate, offering to "be of any service" against "the drug culture, the hippie elements, the SDS, Black Panthers, etc." Later that day he was granted an audience with Nixon, a moment immortalized in a famous Oval Office photo. Elvis was awarded a DEA badge to add to his collection. Most fans agree that Elvis soon became addicted to prescription drugs and fried peanut butter sandwiches, contributing to his death in 1977. But was he a government informant? And is it possible he faked his death to escape retribution and continue his drug-busting mission?

Straight Dope: Though the letter and the Nixon summit are documented facts, "undercover Elvis" is only slightly less ludicrous than his being abducted by rockabilly-fan aliens. Even a superpatriot rock star wouldn't fake his own death sitting on a toilet.

Willie Nelson Smoked Pot on the White House Roof.

Word on the Street: Jimmy Carter, a big Nelson fan, invited the cannabis-loving country outlaw to visit 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Apparently unable to resist the opportunity, Willie sparked a spliff on the roof.

Straight Dope: By his own account, the Red-Headed Stranger did indeed get familiar with some green at the White House. When Bill Clinton, another Southern governor turned president, showed up at a Nelson concert, Willie slyly asked Clinton if he'd been up there to king too. Nelson on the presidential reaction: "He jumped back about three feet."

We the Stoned People...

Sometimes Even the Government gives in to Peer Pressure

The Army Tested LSD on Soldiers.

Word on the Street: Looking to develop "psychochemical" weapons, the U.S. Army's Chemical Corps experimented with hallucinogens at the Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland. Between 1955 and 1975, thousands of G.I. guinea pigs unknowingly received hits. More powerful than LSD was a "superhallucinogen" called BZ, which induced "maniacal" behavior and delusions. "He was taking a shower in his uniform and smoking a cigar," said one enlisted man of a BZ test subject. BZ was placed in grenades and missile warheads and was used unsuccessfully in Vietnam in an effort to flush out Viet Cong hideouts, according to Acid Dream:> The Complete Social History of LSD, by Martin Lee and Bruce Shlain.

Straight Dope: Talk about shock and awe: Army experimentation with LSD is a fact. Sir!

The CIA Brought Crack to the Inner City.

Word on the Street: San Jose Mercury News reporter Gary Webb blew America's mind in 1996 when he reported that the CIA had acted as a middleman between drug cartels connected to CIA-backed Contra rebels and gangs such as the Crips and the Bloods. Dealers were given a pass to introduce the drug to LA's South Central neighborhood to help finance the CIA's war in Nicaragua, thus kicking off the 1980s crack-and-crime epidemic. The Mercury News later called the story "oversimplified," and 14 months after that Webb resigned. But many still believe the charges.

Straight Dope: Is even the CIA sinister enough to pull this off? Unlikely...we hope. What's more certain is that J. Edgar Hoover started the banana daiquiri craze of 1956.

Under the Influence

It's Odd, but Drug Users Don't always Demon Strate Sound Judgement

William S. Burroughs Killed his Wife While High.

Word on the Street: On September 6, 1951, the junkie beat writer of Naked Lunch and his common-law wife, Joan Vollmer, were partying hard in a Mexico City apartment. After doing hits of speed, Burroughs told guests that he and Vollmer were going to perform their William Tell act. She placed a glass on her head; he aimed, fired and shot her in the face, killing her instantly.

Straight Dope: Unlike Burroughs's aim, this story is all too true. "The death of Joan brought me in contact with the invader, the ugly spirit," Burroughs remarked later. It didn't do much for Vollmer, either.

Dock Ellis Pitched a No-Hitter on Acid.

Word on the Street: The Pittsburgh Pirates ace was chilling out in Los Angeles on June 2, 1970. Thinking it was an off day, he took lSD with his girlfriend. An hour later she looked at the sports section and shouted, "It says here you're pitching today!" Ellis jumped on a flight to San Diego to play the Padres and walked onto the mound, tripping wildly. Surprise: He pitched brilliantly. He saw a "blazing, comet-like tail" on fastballs; he dived out of the way of weak hits. "I can remember only bits and pieces of the game," says Ellis. "The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes. Sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't." Ellis walked eight batters but won 2-0 without giving up a hit. His dealer got the save.

Straight Dope: This great moment in sports history is...safe! Every word is true, says Ellis.

Timonthy Leary Dropped LSD on his Deathbed.

Word on the Street: What, you think the infamous acid guru ordered a tuna salad sandwich for his last meal? Cancer victim Leary's 1996 deathbed scene was a magical mystery tour, with friends and relatives (including goddaughter Winona Ryder) giving the former Harvard psychologist a mock funeral-while he watched! Given his pro-LSD stance, news that he passed away while riding the magic carpet elicited little surprise.

Straight Dope: Contrary to rumor, Leary, who did dull his pain with morphine, did not turn on while dropping out. Ailing Brave New World author Aldous Huxley, however, was injected with LSD while his wife read from the Tibetan Book of the Dead. "I know how this one ends," said Huxley, who then died.

Studio 54's Logo Flaunted its Drug-Den Status.

Word on the Street: If you ever made it past the velvet rope at the infamous 1970s Manhattan disco to party with Mick and Bianca, you would have witnessed an amazing sight: Truman Capote's fat ass trying to do the hustle–and a huge sculpture of a quarter-moon snorting crystals from a coke spoon. The defiant Man on the Moon now hangs in the Studio 54 club at Las Vegas's MGM Grand.

Straight Dope: Like they say, if you can remember Studio 54, you probably weren't there. Luckily, we have a picture to prove it.

Smuggler's Blues

Half the Fun is Just Getting the Drugs Here

Smugglers Use Dead Babies to Hide Cocaine.

Word on the Street: A customs agent spotted a sick infant in the arms of a woman exiting a Bogota-Miami flight. It turns out the baby was dead, and a brick of coke was stashed where its internal organs should have been. Reports of this ghoulish ploy go back to the 1970s; it was reported as fact in a 1985 Washington Post story. The tale became so rampant that Miami Herald crime reporter Edna Buchanan decided to check it out.

Straight Dope: Buchanan's conclusion? "It is fiction," she wrote. "I have laid the dead baby to rest so often that I can now see its poor little pasty face in my mind's eye." The dead-baby mule is an urban legend, dreamed up by antidrug warriors or coach-class passengers who detest crying infants.

Pablo Escobar Executed Underlings—Behind Bars.

Word on the street: While holed up in the luxurious La Catedral prison (built especially for him) in 1992, the noterious Colombian drug lord was still fighting an expensive war against his rivals. So when two allies, Ger-ardo Moncada and Fernando Galeano, let $20 million in cash turn moldy, they were ordered to visit the prison. "Moncada and Galeano were killed by being hung upside down and burned," read a DEA cable on the incident. "The informant says this is Escobar's way of killing people." The bodies were buried on-site; days later the brothers of both victims were also whacked.

Straight Dope: Even after his death, Escobar's legend lives on in Colombia, as does this frighteningly true tale.

Preteen Wasteland

Did these Chileren's Favorites Live Happily Eever Stoned?

"Puff the Magic Dragon" is an ODE to Marijuana.

Word on the Street: When the song about a friendly dragon and his human pal recorded by mellow folkies Peter, Paul and Mary became a hit in 1963, nascent hippies were convinced that the lyrics "frolicked in the autumn mist" and "little Jackie Paper" were references to reefer. Not to mention Puff himself. The song is based on a poem written by Cornell University student Leonard Lipton, who professes shock at the rumors: "The song is about loss of innocence and having to face an adult world. I can tell you that at Cornell in 1959 no one smoked grass."

Stright Dope: A red-eyed Puff is a fairy tale. Though Lipton has royalties to protect, we're willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, given the song's pre-drug culture vintage. But it's still a great reason to hate folk music created by privileged college kids.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland was Written under the Influence.

Word on the Street: The classic children's tale of a girl's trip through the looking glass is packed with so much surreal imagery–talking rabbits, toking caterpillars–that many people assume author Lewis Carroll's inspiration came from a hash pipe. The fact that opium and laudanum use was widespread in Victorian England doesn't help.

Straight Dope: It turns out Carroll may have been just a mad–but sober–Englishman. Biographers have found no evidence that the author ever used opium. Still, the original title, Alice's Adventures in Cleveland, suggests that something altered Carroll's vision.

H.R. Pufnstuf had more Drug References than a Medical Encyclopedia.

Word on the Street: Fans of the hippie-era Sid and Marty Krofft series say that only a preschooler (and the FCC) could miss the puppetpalooza's stoner clues. The plot involves a witch's Jones to steal a bonglike talking flute. The psychedelic set is littered with mushrooms. H.R. is assumed to stand for "hand-rolled." And the theme song contains the lyrics "H.R. Pufnstuf, where you go when things get rough / H.R. Pufnstuf, you can't do a little 'cause you can't do enough."

Stright Dope: The Kroffts have denied illicit inspiration, but in 1995 Sid was asked, "Be honest. Did you guys take a lot of drugs in the 1960s?" He replied, "The question should be, 'Do we take drugs in the 1990s?'" They can dodge the issue, but watching even one Pufnstuf episode will give you a contact high.

You Don't Have to be a Dea Agent to know that drug lore is more pervasive in our culture than Cheers reruns. But pinning down the truth about the ways chemical and organic enhancements have influenced music, movies and even history is no easy task (maybe because of that whole "highly illegal" thing). So we're left with a stash of legends that get passed around more than a roach clip at a Phish concert. Did Keith Richards swap his junkie blood for a clean, fresh supply? Did Coca-Cola really contain cocaine? Wonder no longer. We've collected America's most mind-altering drug myths and tested them for purity. So turn on, tune in, and watch out for the oversize purple bats. They Aren't Friendly.

In one Hallucination Grant Morphed into an Enormous Penis that Rocketed Toward Space.