Daredevil Cocktails

[recipe_title]The Flatliner[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]2 oz. Goldschläger[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 oz. Grand Marnier[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 oz. Bacardi 151[/drinkRecipe]

Shake Goldschläger and Grand Marnier well in a shaker with ice. pour into a chilled martini glass. Top with Bacardi 151. (Flame optional but highly desirable for optimum effect.)

"Like a mouthful of Red Hots" said' one drinker after a sip of our vibrant red concoction. Another thought the combined tastes were "cinnamony." While the Goldschläger masked the flavor of the Bacardi 151, the flatliner was rated a tad limp by our suicide squad. The bottom line: Its sexy-looking drink but not up to the daredevil edginess of the other cocktails in our tasting.

[recipe_title]Irish Car Bomb[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 pint Guinness[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. Jameson[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Irish whiskey[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 oz. Baileys[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Irish Cream[/drinkRecipe]

Fill a tall glass two thirds with Guinness. Float Baileys on top of Jameson in a shot glass. Drop shot glass carefully into the Guinness. Slam. Repeat at own risk.

"Tastes like a black and tan gone wrong" said one panelist, who added that the sweetness of the Baileys mixed with the heaviness of the Guinness was akin to motor oil spiked with butter scotch syrup. Another panelist compared its taste to chocolate milk and declared it a "delicious explosion." A third taster simply said. "Terrific, if you like chunks in your chocolate milk."

[recipe_title]Anus On Fire[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]1 bottle of beer[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 oz. Jack Daniel's[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 oz. sloe gin[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 oz. Southern Comfort[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 oz. Jägermeister[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Sweet-and-sour mix[/drinkRecipe]

Combine all ingredients in a tall glass (ice optional), then fill the rest of the glass with sweet-and-sour mix. Stir. Cinch up tight.

Those who like the taste of Southern Comfort found this bittersweet concoction easy to drink,-after a few cocktails, some even began waxing poetic. Two male tasters christened it "candyass ass candy" and "ass m a glass." But one female taster hesitantly inquired about its name, commenting "If this is what an anus on fire tastes like gimme the real thing"

[recipe_title]Are you tough Enough?[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. Firewater cinnamon schnapps[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. Everclear[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. peppermint schnapps[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. Wild Turkey[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. Cuervo Gold[/drinkRecipe]

Use only 100-proof liquors. Make sure schnapps is ice-cold. Mix all five liquors in a short glass and drink just like a shot. Chase with your favorite soft drink.

"Isn't Everclear illegal in some states?" inquired a concerned panelist about the 190-proof gram alcohol. A second taster thought the schnapps overpowered the 100-plus-proof liquors, calling it "a cinnamon breath mint with one hell of a kick." The Wild Turkey triggered another panelist's gag reflex. Obviously he wasn't tough enough.

[recipe_title]Flaming Orgasm[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]12 oz. beer[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1-1/2 oz. Bacardi 151[/drinkRecipe]

Pour rum into a shot glass and fill a mug two thirds with beer. Light the shot, drop shot glass into mug of beer, wait for flame to go out and slam.

Limp dick might be a better name for this daredevil cocktail, since none of our panelists experienced a flaming orgasm (or even a horny twinge) after a few tentative sips. While igniting the shot before dropping it in the beer, we spilled some on the table and almost set it on fire. Oops! Caveat emptor, unless you're looking to get tanked fast.

[recipe_title]Hairy Buffalo[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]1-1/2 oz Jack Daniel's[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1-1/2 oz. Bacardi 151[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1-1/2 oz. Jose Cuervo[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Dash of blue curaçao[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]10--20 dashes of' Tabasco sauce[/drinkRecipe]

Pour rum into an eight-ounce glass. Add Jack Daniel's, then tequila, then a large splash of blue curaçao. Top off with Tabasco.

Twelve generous dashes of Tabasco tasted like "heartburn in a glass," according to one panelist. Another suggested holding your nose while drinking it. "Any- one have blue cheese?" asked a third, who thought the drink should be served as a dip for chicken wings. And it was no better going out than it was going in. (Maybe this one should've been called anus on fire.)

[recipe_title]Cement Miser[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. Baileys Irish Cream[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 oz. lime juice[/drinkRecipe]

Separate the ingredients into two shot glasses. Pour the Baileys into your mouth first and hold it there. Then do the lime juice shot. Shake your head back and forth, mixing both shots in your mouth. Swallow. Good luck.

"I don't swallow, "shrieked one female panelist after holding the shot of Baileys in her mouth first, then taking the shot of lime juice. (Yeah, sure.) Another female panelist likened the cement mixer's lumpy consistency to "spunky "jizz" (we'd like to get to know her better). Everyone agreed that "even Jenna Jameson wouldn't swallow this shit!"

[recipe_title]Bloody Tampon[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]1-1/2 oz. Yukon Jack[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1-1/2 oz. tequila[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1-1/2 oz. vodka[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. V8[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 oz. Baileys Irish Cream[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 oz. lemon juice[/drinkRecipe]

Mix Yukon Jack, tequila and vodka (all chilled) in a cocktail glass. Add room temperature V8 without mixing. Pour Baileys on top, then splash with lemon juice.

The V8 juice gave the bloody tampon bite, while the lemon juice and the Baileys curdled to create a thick substance with a cotton-like texture. "It should be called yeast infection," chortled one female taster. A male panelist took one sip, stared off into space and said to no one in particular, "This is not something you wanna run into." Or drink, apparently.

[recipe_title]Abner[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]4 oz. vodka[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 small sardine[/drinkRecipe]

Mix the vodka and the sardine in an electric blender (without ice). Serve in a short glass and drink quickly. This is not a drink to savor.

"Horrific" was the panelists' unanimous conclusion after just one sip of abner, with all of them also complaining that the mushed-up sardines at the bottom of the glass left a fishy residue on their teeth. The drink, which becomes cloudy when blended, looked just as evil as it smelled and tasted. Our bartender sneered at us with contempt while mixing it.

[recipe_title]New Jersey Turnpike[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]Dirty bar rag[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Dirty bar[/drinkRecipe]

Take the bar rag and wipe down the bar everywhere that drinks have been spilled. Then squeeze out the rag into an oversize shot glass. Serve with a fine cigar.

"Skip the shot glass and just suck on a dirty bar rag" suggested one drinker, who warned, "You'd better be blitzed before trying this." (Good news: He was!) Another panelist thought the shot tasted like "Bacardi 151 with a splash of schnapps and a dash of dishwasher detergent." Last comment by a head-down drinker: " I think I just burned a hole in my esophagus."