The Year in Sex

Halftime at the hooter bowl

(1) Censors sharpened their blue pencils and broke out the rule book in response to the Super Bowl half-time flash by Janet Jackson, with an assist from Justin Timberlake. Her so-called wardrobe malfunction set a record for replays on TiVo--and cost CBS a cool $550,000 in FCC fines, about a buck for each complaint the agency received. Elsewhere, others were more amused: (2) Janet herself spoofed the incident by impersonating National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice on Saturday Night Live; (3) money-hungry toymakers immortalized the moment with Janet and Justin dolls; and (4) comedian Rob Schneider went metallic at the Hollywood premiere of 50 First Dates.

F#*CC you, too!

In the post--Super Bowl chill, Clear Channel dropped Howard Stern, but Vice President Dick Cheney got away with telling Vermont senator Pat Leahy to go fuck himself.

Rack of the 50-foot Woman

Getting a feel for his job, this Swiss worker adjusts model Daniela Pestova's cleavage on a Geneva billboard.

Bush Gardens

Twenty-eight British university students brave windburn to set the world record for naked roller-coaster rides. Three months later the record was topped by two.

Homo electus

Fending off the threat of a scandal involving a male aide, New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey surprised many, including his wife, by calling a news conference and declaring, "I am a gay American."

Left to right: Bobby, boobie, boobie, bobby

This British woman streaked at Wimbledon in a desperate plea for attention. It worked.

Three blondes walked into a bookstore and ...

...made a lot of money, as Paris Hilton's Confessions of an Heiress, Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Porn Star and Pamela Anderson's Star--featuring this lovely photo on the inside jacket--jumped off the shelves.

Meet the Kerry twins

Alexandra Kerry was clearly supporting her pop's presidential bid when megawatt flashbulbs caused this May surprise at Cannes. After U.S. newspapers censored the photos, a flurry of Internet downloads ensued.

Backdoor blogger

Senate staffer Jessica Cutler was canned not because she had kinky sex with politico sugar daddies nor because she wrote about it in her blog but because of "inappropriate use of Senate office equipment."

Sexual revolutions

Japanese porn star Micky Yanai invented the "helicopter fuck," in which he rotates 360 degrees atop his partner. View the improbable video at masamania.com.

Victory Lap

Regular guy Jim Frankel, who won a chance to lick whipped cream off Jessica Simpson's cleavage, looks like the luckiest stiff of the year. Don't believe it--he's at Madame Tussauds in New York, and those melons are mere wax.

It's the shoes, stupid

Models Kimora Lee Simmons, Ruth Crilley and Sophie Dahl flog for cobblers Baby Phat and Patrick Cox, filling magazine readers with desire ... to buy shoes.

Booty Queen

Miss Universe, Australia's Jennifer Hawkins, made a hasty exit, stage rear, after her skirt snagged on her shoe and fell to the floor during a suburban Sydney shopping-mall fashion show.

Two-point shot

Prudish fans cried foul when Lauren Jackson, forward for the WNBA's Seattle Storm, posed nude in an Australian art photography book.

Sports buffs

Skin was in at the Olympics: Much-ogled U.S. beach volleyballers Misty May and Kern Walsh got down and dirty in a victory celebration; German long jumper Susan Tiedtke-Green, cover girl Amy Acuff and other athletes posed for Playboy; and a bare-breasted fertility goddess performed a not remotely subtle snake dance to spice up the opening ceremonies. (Funny, NBC got no FCC fine.)

Horn again

With stiffening competition from the new erectile-dysfunction drugs Levitra and Cialis, Viagra is stepping up its campaign and spicing up its image. Take this cocky bastard--a far cry from the earnest Bob Dole TV spots Pfizer ran in 1999.

Dane in vain

Nude models read poetry in the parks of Aalborg, Denmark to hype the latest show by controversial artist Marco Evaristti. Killjoy cops ended the display of naked pastry.

Next-to-Last tango in Paris

How do you top a best-selling explicit sex tape? If you're Paris Hilton, you make a sequel--or six. Word is there are about 12 hours of hot Hilton action yet to be viewed, including a scene in which she deploys the N bomb.

Harvard--not as square as we remember it

After official wrangles, Harvard students finally published their racy magazine H Bomb. It interests people, said one editor, "because they've never heard 'Harvard' and 'sex' in the same sentence."

For love or money

When she wasn't clobbering fans and foes with microphone stands, flashlights and liquor bottles, rampaging rock chick Courtney Love still maintained a strong tabloid presence--the old flashin' way.

What's good for the Spruce

At a music festival in Norway, Leona Johansson and Tommy Hol Ellingsen couple onstage beneath a Fuck for Forest banner to tunes by (who else?) the Cumshots

Navel Battle

Despite objections from several contestants, Miss America hopefuls were issued skimpy Speedos (worn at right by the winner, Deidre Downs). Rolling in her grave: 1921 titlist Margaret Gorman, below.

Britney's Marry-go-round

First the pop tart frolicked with dancer Columbus Short, to the great unamusement of his missus. Then she married childhood pal Jason Allen Alexander, briefly. Now she is (we're pretty sure) wed to dancer Kevin Federline, whose ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson bore his second kid in July. Yes, that little schoolgirl is grabbing life by the balls.

Situations out of Hand

In Berlin, model Yvonne Hoelzel slips out at a fashion show organized by the wife of Germany's president, while in Los Angeles the waifish Anna Nicole Smith loses it at G-Phoria: The Awards Show 4 Gamers.

Buns bash bush

Protesters bummed out by GOP policies line up outside the Republican National Convention at Madison Square Garden in New York.

Schools for scandal

Mary Kay Letourneau left jail looking to reunite with her schoolboy lover Vili Fualaau, and Tampa teacher Debra LaFave (on hog) was busted for having sex with a 14-year-old pupil in her SUV while his 15-year-old cousin drove.