Real Desperate Housewives

The desperate housewives who sizzle up Wisteria Lane on Sunday evenings have done the near impossible: They've made homemaking sexy. But while taboo liaisons and steamy fantasies make for tasty nighttime drama, the reality of supersexy mothers is no TV illusion. Look next door, in the grocery store, at the health club or in the PTA and you'll discover what we did--MILFs are everywhere. Our call for real-life sexy mothers willing to show us their domestic goods was answered by nearly 1,000 women, ranging from 18 to 60 years old. Some were married, some divorced, some had never been hitched, but they all had children--and a mature sensuality that is anything but desperate. "The percentage of quality candidates for this search is the best I've seen in my 14 years here," says Senior Photography Editor Kevin Kuster. "The top reason given for applying was 'When I was younger, I could have been a Playmate. Now I'm not going to miss my chance.' " Most say they're Desperate Housewives watchers, but unlike some characters on the show, all of them have discovered how to be nurturing mothers while still keeping things cooking for the men in their life. Here are 12 compelling arguments that motherhood does the body good.

Sondra Holloway, 31, Michigan, one son.Desperate Living: "I watch the show, but I'm pretty boring over here ... except in the bedroom. My boyfriend and I have christened almost every room in the house. We visit the kitchen counter a lot." Household Tip: "I talk to my plants. That might sound silly, but your breath actually helps them grow. If plants could talk, they would know all of our secrets." Best Dish: "I love to bake--cookies, cupcakes, pies, cakes and all that good stuff. I make them look as if they're from the baker by adding little decorations." Work This Out: "I like to wear nothing but six-inch heels and walk up and down the stairs. It's a good workout for your butt, and my boyfriend loves the view from the couch."

Wendy Drinkwater, 31, Rhode Island, four children.Desperate Double: "People say I look like Teri Hatcher. I think I'm prettier than she is, actually. I should take her place!" Best Dish: "Lasagna. I'm not Italian, but I've had Italian in me." Girls' Night Out: "I'm high on life and drink Red Bull while everyone else is getting trashed." Dating Deal Breaker: "If a guy makes me pay for something, even my coffee, I'm done. I think a woman should be pampered, loved, cuddled and held. I want a guy to notice my fun personality and that I'm a good mom." Master and Servant: "I'm very good at dominating people, and I'm into the fetish scene. I have a boot thing--vinyl, leather, thigh highs. I'm known as Goddess Lexy in these parts."

Tamara Martinez, 31, California, two children.Desperate Double: "I watch the show faithfully with my husband and two-year-old. I'm like Teri Hatcher's character--she's comfortable in her own skin, but you can tell she wants to bust out fully nude at any moment." Best Dish: "Filet mignon. If I'm going to make a steak, it should be the best." Household Tip: "Anybody who has children should just have patience. Take deep breaths and realize everybody will wake up smiling. Also take time out for yourself, either alone or with your husband." House Wear: "My favorite thing to wear for cleaning is a wifebeater with my Superman panties."

Tami Paz, 35, Arizona, four children.Desperate Double: "Felicity Huffman. There have been similarities between our lives in every episode. My mom calls me during the commercials and is cracking up." Household Tip: "A husband needs attention. He was here before the babies. Women must remember not to neglect their men. Remember the first time you saw your husband? Remember how you felt? Don't ever forget--or let him forget." Date Night: "Take the babies to Mom's, put on lingerie, and make passionate love. When he calls on Monday, he'll sound like a different person."

Angle Marton, 24, Arizona, one son. Desperate Double: I've seen the show only a couple of times, but I probably identify with Eva Longoria the most. I would never cheat on my husband as she does, but I'll confess secret crushes on Colin Farrell and Brad Pitt." Household Tip: "If you feed your children lots of fruits and, vegetables, they won't act crazy. It calms them down, and they don't have as many temper tantrums." Favorite Nightwear: "Nothing." Two Things Always in the Fridge: "Carrots and whipped cream. The latter is for special occasions." Motivation: "Sometimes you get caught up in the whole family thing, but I thought this would be a really neat thing to try. Posing for Playboy has always been in the back of my mind. This just fits my whole lifestyle right now."

Heidi Hanson, 24, North Carolina, one son.Desperate Double: "I totally relate to Teri Hatcher's character and having these fantasies about a major-league-cute hunk who lives right across the street. I live in the middle of nowhere, so I have to get out the binoculars if I want to check him out. I met him in one of my radiology classes last semester." Household Tip: "You can always make your child stop crying by blowing soap bubbles. There's also something about the noise of a vacuum cleaner that has a similar effect." Dream Date: "I want to marry Ben Affleck; I go for guys who are tall and have dark hair and eyes. He makes me real hot. On our first date I would take him bowling because it's corny and funny. Who wouldn't smile or laugh while bowling? Plus he can check out my ass."

Cristina Bazan, 34, California, two daughters.Desperate Living: "I'm so desperate that I got divorced! Since then I've had my belly button pierced, jumped out of an airplane and gotten my boobs done. I spent 12 years married to a man 11 years my senior; these days I'm dating my own piece of 'Ash'--as in Demi and Ashton--who is 11 years my junior." Working Girl: I have been a real-estate investor--developer for 10 years. I work primarily with men in a very cutthroat industry, which has only made me more feminine. It's remarkable how quickly a man will work for you when he thinks there's a possibility of a blow job at the end of the day." Spill the Beans: "I was a good Catholic schoolgirl until recently. Now I like to check out the firemen at the local coffee shop before picking up the girls from school."

Angi Yangas, 25, Illinois, one son.Desperate Double: "I'm most like Eva Longoria. but if I were married, I would never cheat." Working Girl: "I write children's books about these cute microscopic beans that live in your nose." Household Tip: "Every day I take my son out to do something really fun, like running around in the rain." Dream Ride: "I want a Cadillac Escalade with spinners. I'm so ghetto; I deserve a badass ride. I have a hunk-of-crap Impala that I hate." Dream Date: "I need a reformed bad boy, someone who has walked on the wild side but knows that's not where he wants to be. That's totally me."

Laura Grillo, 25, Pennsylvania, one daughter.Desperate Living: "I'm very independent and stubborn. That's the Italian in me. I don't play men or cheat, but I wear the pants." Best Dish: "Chicken parmigiana, but I can't give my secrets away." Household Tip: "I clean while my daughter watches Blue's Clues and Dora the Explorer videos." Alter Ego: "I'm known as Laura the Butt in the Philadelphia area. I was voted one of Philly's hottest moms by Y-100. Now everyone says I have the best butt they've ever seen, but when I look in the mirror, I'm like, It's just a butt. I don't understand why people obsess about it."

Kathy Sander, 37, Iowa, two children. Desperate Living: "I've never seen the show. I watch a lot of murder shows, like CSI and Cold Case Files. I think I could commit the perfect murder, actually." Best Dish: "Steak and lobster." Spies Like US: "Everyone is pretty nosy in this town. It's impossible to have any kind of privacy--they even know what color toilet paper you use. My thinking is that if they spent as much time worrying about their own lives as they do mine, maybe they'd have as much fun as I do." PDAS: "My husband and I have sex whenever the moment is right. One time it was in the bathroom of a restaurant. We just went for it. I'm more outgoing and he's the quiet one, so he sits back and lets me do my thing "

Loree Bischoff, 43, Arizona, two children.Desperate Living: "On a desperate scale of one to 10, I'm a 10 as far as being desperately in love with the same man for 20 years." Best Dish: "Seafood-stuffed roasted poblano chilies." Household Tip: "Create an environment in which everybody in the family can flourish and thrive." Got MYLF?: "My friend and I started a MYLF shirt business at gotmylf.com. It stands for 'Make Your Life Fun.' We have a great illustration of us that has a vintage-pinup flair. It's empowering to be a MILF--it's an accomplishment to still be sexy after you've pushed the equivalent of a bowling ball through your body. Looking good enough for Playboy is like getting a trophy."

Michelle Baena, 32, California, three children.Desperate Double: "I watch the show every Sunday. I identify most with Felicity Huffman's character because she's got all those kids and you see her go stir-crazy." Household Tip: "Don't let your kids sleep with you in your bed when they're young, because it becomes a difficult habit to break." Spousal Support: "I wouldn't have sent in photos if it wasn't something my husband and I discussed. He is 100 percent supportive. When I got back from the photo shoot in Chicago, 25 of my friends were at a club to throw me a surprise congratulations party." Heavy-Metal Mama: "I'm definitely into hard rock. We've gone to Ozzfest the last couple of years and saw Marilyn Manson recently."

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