Sex in Cinema 2006

Over the decades, every practice, preference and kink has enjoyed the Hollywood spotlight, but not since the era of Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn has married sex had such a moment as it did this past year. Sparks flew between wives and hubbies Rachel Weisz and Ralph Fiennes in The Constant Gardener, Maria Bello and Viggo Mortensen in A History of Violence, Vera Farmiga and Paul Walker in Running Scared and Angelina Jolie (pictured) and Brad Pitt in Mr. & Mrs. Smith. But it wasn't just the wedded who were enjoying bliss. In other memorably erotic films, Sharon Stone slashed again in Basic Instinct 2, Gretchen Mol saluted an erotic legend with a breakthrough bare-it-all performance in The Notorious Bettie Page, Scarlett Johansson warmed up Woody Allen's Match Point with her affair with Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Eva Green fired up new James Bond Daniel Craig in Casino Royale, and Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal broke new ground with Brokeback Mountain, a critically acclaimed, box-office-supported gay romance. Among the independents, writer-director John Cameron Mitchell's sad, funny Shortbus further blurred the line between mainstream movies and porn with unsimulated scenes of autofellatio and an orgy, while Kirby Dick's smart, ironic documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated exposed the capricious and smallmindedly quotidian process that constitutes the powerful and much abused movie-ratings system. Be warned: This pictorial is not yet rated either. Nor will it ever be.

Maid to Order

One look at Jennifer Aniston (above) in this maid's outfit--a high-light of Nicole Holofcener's Friends With Money--and it's clear why the French go in for such big chateaus. Feather dusting has never been more provocative.

When You've Got It, Flaunt It

Fourteen years after a thigh spreading that's become as iconic as Charlton Heston's Moses parting the Red Sea, the diabolically devious Sharon Stone (below left) jumps the pond to Britain to revive her ice-pick shtick in Basic instinct 2.

Short Cuts

Are they watching the ending of Million Dollar Baby? Did the Cialis not work? No, this is detective Josh Hartnett and heiress Hilary Swank (below right) ruining their post-coital bliss by thinking about the fate of The Black Dahlia.

Sex Education

In National Lampoon's Dorm Daze 2, lovelies Lola Davidson, Heather Storm and Suzy McCoppin (above left) get the party started, while a comely coed (above right) comes clean after boning up on her studies.

Sexual Crusader

Beauty Eva Green griped that "all the best bits" of her hot sex scene with Orlando Bloom had been cut from the 12th century Crusades saga Kingdom of Heaven (above). When the three-hour-long director's cut appeared on DVD, Green's case was proved.

Howdy, Neighbor

Again, the predicament of being thrust into bed with a Hollywood beauty--this time Lucy Liu in Lucky Number Slevin (below left)--brings a glum expression to Josh Hartnett's mug. Here's hoping he's perkier in his lower latitudes.

Vince, Is That You?

Indeed it is, though it's Vincent Cassel the psychopath, not Vince Vaughn the motormouth, interrupting lovers Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen in the thriller Derailed (below right). Perhaps he just wants to sign up for maid service.

L.A. Breakdown

In writer-director Robert Towne's Ask the Dust, waitress Salma Hayek and writer Colin Farrell (above left and right) find all the fun that Depression-era Los Angeles offers, until racial conflicts and tragic irony interfere.

Spice Girl

What naked Mena Suvari did for rose petals in American Beauty, gorgeous Aishwarya Rai does for red-hot chili peppers in Mistress of Spices (above). Dylan McDermott is her lucky companion.

Think of England

Bare Brit beauties are a main asset of Mrs. Henderson Presents (top right), a movie about naked women who helped win WWII

A Girl in My Soup

It's gross when waitress Alanna Ubach puts pubic hair in a customer's food in Waiting... (center right), but the harvesting scene is fun.

Visiting the Grand Tetons

The manwich moments in Brokeback Mountain got buzz, but Anne Hathaway (bottom right) made us say, "Whoopee ti yi yo."

Euroslash

in the horror flick Hostel (above), backpacking through Europe and staying at places where the saunas are stocked with gorgeous Eurogirls can lead only to torture and dismemberment. Yes, that's right--saunas stocked with gorgeous Eurogirls.

Not So Scary

Among the highlights of Scary Movie 4 are a parody of The Grudge featuring three bouncy, brainy blondes (below left), a bottle of Viagra gulped by Charlie Sheen and a lethal erection. In the same flick Carmen Electra (below right) spoofs The Village.

Ready, Set, Stop

The French drama 5x2 begins with a couple about to sign divorce papers and proceeds backward through their relationship to their wedding night, when the drunken groom passes out on the lovely Valeria Bruni Tedeschi (bottom left). Costly error.

X Marks the G-Spot

In X-Men: The Last Stand (above left) Farnke Janssen's Jean Grey (a.k.a. Phoenix) doesn't need superpowers to figure out that Hugh Jackman's Wolverine intends to ravish her--but in a good way. Hope he remembered to trim his nails.

Love Bites

Underworld: Evolution, the Goth vampires-vs.-werewolves sequel to 2003's Underworld, offers such sensual visions as a vampire ménage à trois (below) that's guaranteed to raise the dead. Fangs for the memories!

Saturate Until Satisfied

In Casino Royale (above right), Daniel Craig as James Bond wears the serene look of a man who has closely searched Eva Green and knows she isn't hiding his locker key. (Unlike Josh Hartnett, the delectable Ms. Green always looks interested in her co-stars.)

Beer Goggles Extra

In The Weather Man Nicolas Cage in Lincoln drag (Why? Rent the DVD) picks up a beerfest maiden at a local fair (bottom left), and she gives him a schtupping he'll remember for four score and seven years.

Battle Royal

The Mexican film Battle in Heaven begins with a general's daughter moonlighting as a hooker and fellating a fat, expressionless middle-aged chauffeur (bottom right). It's completely unbelievable. He should be a producer.

Life of Brian

In Stoned, about Rolling Stones co-founder Brian Jones, Tuva Novotny (above left) plays Jones's girlfriend Anna Wohlin, and Monet Mazur (above right) is Anita Pallenberg, who left Jones for Keith Richards.

Freedom Riders

In the sexually explicit Shortbus Lindsay Beamish (top left) has a mighty dildo collection and an inability to connect emotionally.

Put Me In, Coach

Maria Bello plays cheerleader while Viggo Mortensen mows the lawn in A History of Violence (above).

Pinup Girl

It's not easy portraying an icon, but Gretchen Mol (far left) meets the challenge head-on in The Notorious Bettie Page, about the tumultuous life of one of the most photographed beauties of all time.

Cover-Up

Kirby Dick's shrewd documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated skewers the hypocrisy of the Motion Picture Association of America, which runs the film-ratings board--the people who say it's okay to show a head being blown off but not okay to show someone getting head.

Sowing the Seeds

In the political thriller The Constant Gardener (left) Rachel Weisz plays the wife of diplomat Ralph Fiennes. Why he spends his time constantly gardening is the mystery.

Crapshoot

In Bachelor Party Vegas five best buds go on a wacky road trip that detours to a porn shoot (above left) and Kal Penn's fantasy encounter with a pair of fully loaded porn princesses (above right).

Bellucci Coochy Coo

How much do we love Monica Bellucci? Enough to suffer through Combien Tu M'Aimes?, in which she plays a hooker whose services are purchased by lottery winner Bernard Campan (above). Why can't Hollywood find something for her to do?

Love for Sale

Claire Danes offers a curvy dorsal view to middle-aged mope Steve Martin in Shopgirl (below left), about a woman caught between an older man and a younger guy. if only Martin had serenaded her with a banjo and an arrow through his head.

Sporting a Woody

Woody Allen's muses have included Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow, Seeing Scarlett Johansson change foggy London to steamy London by necking with Jonathan Rhys Meyers in Match Point (below right), one can explain Allen's recent success.