21 sexiest commericials of all time

IN HONOR OF THIS YEAR'S CROP OF SEXED-UP SUPER BOWL TELEVISION ADS, WE SALUTE THE...

CARLS JR./HARDEE S parishilton 200s

Unless you define sexy as ('Lira Pcllcr shunting "Where's the beef?" the only thing sizzling in most burger ads over the years has been the all-beef parties. One night with Paris changed all that. Hot on the heels oi her sex tape's release, Hilton put out a sequel: an ad tor (.iris Jr. (Hardce's on the East Coast). She washes a Bentley in a bathing suit and gives herself a sponge bath in the process. Pussycat Doll founder Robin Antin choreographed Hilton's gyrations, and director Chris Applebauin dreamed up the car-wash motif as an homage to a scene in Cool lltiml hike. Who knew?

1 CURIOUS BRITNEY SPEARS 2004

To hype her Curious perfume, Britney Spears imagines what it would be like to get busy with the dude in the hotel room next to hers. Lots of shots of Spears's plump lips and fuck-me eyes made this one work. Of course, back in the day it didn't take much Britney to get most guys going.

J AXE 2007

The tagline for this body-spray ad deserves some sort of award for least-subtle pitch: "With more bom-chicka-wah-tvah." To demon­strate the point, a woman shakes her ass stripper-style for a stunned but not unhappy grocery store employee-Axe user. Not everyone was pleased. Diane Sawyer bashed the ad on Good Morning Amer­ica. It turned out Axe parent company Unilever also makes Dove, the women's beauty-product brand that touts its support for "real women." Hey, if guys have to watch all those Dove ads, surely Sawyer could stomach one grocery-store stripper.

3 DODGE CHARGER 1970_____________

These days automakers like to sell cars with footage of their machines rolling swiftly down a handsome road. Dodge tried a different tack with its 1970 Charger 500, unleashing a commercial in which bikini-clad beach beauties find themselves attracted to a geeky guy because of his hot new car. Although the Summer of Love was fresh in everyone's mind, network standards prohibited both T and A, but that didn't mean copywriters couldn't suggest the possibility of sex. "I bet it rides really smooth," one beaut)- purrs to our hero, Elliott. With just a few carefully chosen words Dodge delivered a clear message: Buy this car and every girl in town will want to get her hand on your stick shift.

TABASCO 2OOS________________________

Mind-bogglingly hot girl in bikini? Check. Lingering shots of butt and cleavage? Check. Money shot of a tan line near the breasts? Check. It might have been overshadowed by the GoDaddy.com ad, but this Super Bowl XXXIX pitch for Tabasco put its own spicy stamp on the big game.

COORS LIGHT -twins- 2003___________

Nothing fancy about this spot, which combines four of guys' favorite ingredients: football, beer, rock music and the fantasy of a three-way with twin cheerleaders. Though the ad doesnt depict any sexual activity involving the well-proportioned Diane and Elaine Klimaszewski. the twins exploded into pop culture, even merit­ing a Saturday Night Live spoof and several follow-up ads. Foote, Cone & Belding group creative director Chuck Rudnick told USA Today the thinking behind the spot wasn't particularly complicated. "Nobody would argue men love women, so why not two of them?' he said. "That's why twins ring true." No disagreement here.

NOXZEMA1967______________________

Long before the GoDaddy girl and the Coors twins, there was Gunilla Knutson—a.k.a. the Noxzema Shaving Cream girl. In a series of ads, the former Miss Sweden demands that guys "Take it off; take it all off!' by using the medicated shave cream. As strip­tease music plays, the guys do just that—and arc rewarded with

a hand job from Knutson. (Of course, since this was the 1960s, "hand job meant she caressed their cheeks with her palms.) It may not seem all that provocative today, but back then it was the best a man could get—at least on network TV.

THIGHMASTER suzanne somers 1991

Pitches for cheesy, gimmicky products sold on late-night TV are inherently unsexy. But something about the sight of Chrissy from Three's Company squeezing her legs around a weird contraption worked for us. It was the closest broadcast TV will ever get to an ad for a sex toy, with Suzanne Somers to boot. Hell, we bought one.

GODADDY.COM canpice michelle 2005

Janet Jackson's 2004 wardrobe malfunction threatened to suck all the heat out of Super Bowl ads. Internet exec Bob Parsons was determined to make sure that didn t happen. After buying ad time during the 2005 game, Parsons had to figure out how to explain notions like domain names and website hosting in 30 seconds. Since three fourths of GoDaddy s customers were guys, Parsons decided to go sexy. "I wanted to find a good-looking woman who had a nice rack and put our name across it," he says. The Ad Store, a New York—based firm, fleshed out the idea: A hot chick testifies before a fake panel on censorship. As uptight government types squirm, the GoDaddy girls tit falls out of her shirt. The ad caused a media furor the next day. The company's market share soared from 16 percent to 25 percent. "We've been a naughty advertiser ever since, Parsons says. You go. Daddy. Bonus: The GoDaddy girl, Candice Michelle, landed playboy's April 2006 cover.

REMBRANDT 2007

No skin, no tight shirts, no leering glances or double entendres. Just a real couple, intensely locking lips—biting, tugging—for 30 seconds. Good-bye, Close-Up. Hello. Rembrandt! There have been far hotter ads, to be sure, but few as intensely sensual as this convincing pitch for oral hygiene.

DORITOS 3D ALI LANDRY 1998_____________

Two dudes (including a pre-Wi/l & Grace Sean Hayes) bored silly at a laundromat perk up when former Miss USA AJi Landry walks in. They try to impress her with some snazzy stunts involving Doritos, but she demonstrates her superior oral abilities, including stopping a speed­ing chip in midair with nothing but her mouth. Millions of football fans—the ad debuted during Super Bowl XXXII—instantly wondered what else Landry could do with those lips. She made rwo more Super Bowl appearances as the Doritos girl, but the subsequent ads couldn't match the fiery habanero nacho flavor of the original. And while Landry launched a decent career off the ad, Doritos 3D soon fizzled.

HI CANDIES ALYSSA HILANO 1999

Tony Danza averted his eyes, but the rest of us were charmed, to say the least, by a black lingerie-clad Alyssa Milano rolling around in bed while spraying herself with skanky perfume mass-produced by a shoe company. Several networks and local stations were so (hot and) bothered by the ad—one of several torrid spots for Candic's over the years—they refused to run it. Guys just thought. Yeah, Alyssa, you're the boss!

HERBAL ESSENCES "showergasm" 1999

Yup, the TV ad responsible for the term showergasm. It's still hard to believe these spots—in which a drop of shampoo turns everyday

women into moaning porn stars—ran without any real controversy (though some feminists bitched). Credit probably goes to When Harry Met Sally..., whose Meg Ryan deli orgasm made the world safe for public displays of sexual gratification.

TRIMSPA ANNA NICOLE SMITH 2003

Is that...? Could it be...? Yup, Anna Nicole Smith minus the spare tire, looking her Marilyn best once again. Blazing hot, with a body built for speed, she sent women to stores by the thousands in search of the diet drug TrimSpa. Take that, Slim-Fast.

CALVIN KLEIN brooke shields 1980

It's hard to believe any broadcaster would air this series of six spots in which a sultry 15-year-old Brooke Shields coos various come-ons. One ad has Shields changing into a supertight pair of Calvins while writhing around on her back. In another, the actress—dien steaming up the big screen in The Blue Lagoon—laments mat if any of her seven pairs of Calvins could talk, "I'd be ruined." "You want to know what comes between me and my Calvins?" Shields says breathlessly in a third. "Nothing.' (Does that mean no one gets in her pants, or she's not wearing underwear?) Having originally approved the spot, some New York TV' stations banned it just days after Ronald Reagan was elected president. The 1970s were over.

VICTORIA'S SECRET 2004____________

It there were a Hall of Fame for sexy ads, this lingerie giant would field several contenders. Tyra, Gisele and Heidi carwalking around in slinky underwear—score. Our pick for the sexiest Victorias Secret ad: the 2004 Christmas commercial in which the afore­mentioned angels don t just strut, they speak. "Tell me you love me. Tell me you want me," they whisper. Adds another, "Bring me to mv knees." Yes, ma'am. Who savs Christmas is for kids?

LEVIS DANIELA PESTOVA 2000

Perhaps trying to prove Calvin Klein didn't have a lock on hot advertisements, Levi's recruited Victoria's Secret model Daniela

MILLER LITE "catfight" 2003

The beer maker decided to sex up its decades-old "Tastes great, less filling" campaign. Literally. Instead of dudes debating the merits of light beer, this Super Bowl commercial has the very hot Tanya Ballinger and Kitana Baker getting into a heated battle over the brew. Clothes an: shed. Mud is slung. "The genius is the ending," says Ogilvy & Mather group creative director Joe Johnson, who was part of the team diat jHStaHljdlPSMlJPflBdllllg the Gttfight the figment of some guy's imagination—and showing two women disgusted by the notion at die end—Miller ^^^^^HTput a PG-13 depiction of a male fantasy in prime time and play it off as a spoof. "If it had been a pure catfight, it might have been offensive," Jolni^Hays. "It's so stereotypically over-me-M^flKnny3Jradeinags like AdvertbingAge that denounced lUtaot as sexist missed die point. Believe it or not, the ad could have been even hotter: MH^rshot ans^^Mgm which the two women lock lips. Unlorj^^^^perwork censors thought it was too much.

Pestova to star in this bit of 30-second erotica. To hype Levi's line of frayed jeans, Pestova slips off her pants and lays them on a railroad track so the train cuts them ott. She walks away wearing a very tight, very low-cut pair of denim shorts. Mean­while the world got a lingering glance at Pestova's incredible white lingerie-clad backside.

CHANEL NO. 5 by ridley scorri979

The same year he scared the hell out of us with Alien, director Ridley Scott helmed this mini masterpiece ot subtle sexuality. Very arty and very French, the simple plot consists ot a leggy model sitting by a pool, sunbathing. A muscled-up male model in a Speedo jumps into the water, then appears to emerge between her legs. As a smoky-voiced female announcer talks about "blue sky" and "golden light," we discover our bathing beauty is sun­ning herself topless. Quel scandale!

INTIMATE CINDY CRAWFORD 1987

In 1986 Kim Basingers sex scenes in 9'/2 Weeks changed every­thing. Ice cubes would never be the same. A year later Revlon cast Cindy Crawford, a mans hand and a nearly phallic-shaped chunk of frozen water in an ad tor its Intimate fragrance. Craw­ford sighs with pleasure as the ice drips all over her chest. When her man begins to pull away she grabs his hand and demands a few more ice thrusts. It was a total rip-oft ot director Adrian Lyne's masterwork. Not that we cared.

CALVIN KLEIN -porn- 1995____________

The king of sexy ads skirted the line between sexy and sleazy more closely than ever with this campaign, which has very young-looking models seemingly trying out for a 1 ')80s porn flick. Still, there's no denying the Z.o//M-esque spots (which exploited young men and women equally) worked on a forbidden-truit level—as long as you kept trying to convince yourself the actors were over 18! Was that a very young and unknown Bijou Phillips? You bet it was.