The year in sex

Politicians, priests, talk-show host

MISSED CALIFORNIA

Leaked sexy photos and anti-gay-marriage remarks had dogged Carrie Prejean before Donald Trump (citing poor atten­dance at events) stripped her of her Miss California USA crown. Her noto­riety was further enhanced by a raunchy video ^coming to

light. She's r i a one-A woman ™ circus.

GOP'S NEW PLATFORM: PRO HIKING, SEVERING AND ILLEGAL ALIENATING

Caught with their pants down: right-wing Republicans

who celebrate religious values at the "Family House"

on Washington's C Street. South Carolina governor

dark Sanford (1) led aides and wife Jenny (2) to believe

he was hiking the soft hills and dewy valleys of the

Appalachian trail when he was in Argentina romancing

his "soul mate," Maria Belen Chapur (3). After Nevada

-------^ senator John Ensign cheated on wife Darlene

ake a^\ w''n a'de Cynthia Hampton, his parents ll hike!) Paid a nefty "severance" to Cynthia and ** ^/ aggrieved and grasping spouse Doug. That's the Ensigns at top left and the Hamp­tons at right in happier days (4). The Family House also hosted assignations between ex-Mississippi :ongressman Chip Pickering (5) and Cellular South iiress Elizabeth Creekmore Byrd, causing Chip's wife, ha (6), to sue Byrd for alienation of affection.

LdVE AT FIRST BITE

Twilight made fangs fashionable agaif and True Blood significantly pumped u making the undead sexy with the over-18 C

FRONT-PAGE NUDES

Sharon Stone displayed //£>-erte, egalite and her marvelous 50-year-old tits on the cover of Pans Match (she was really 51, but who's counting?), while Jen­nifer Aniston won in a tie for GO.

everybody likes the public option

CELEBRITY SPLIT OF THE YEAR #1

Jon & Kate Plus Eight self-destructed as Jon was linked with Star magazine's Kate Major (1), babysitter Stephanie Santoro (2), teacher Deanna Hum­mel (3) and tummy-tuck doc's daughter Hailey Glassman (4). Meanwhile, is Kate dating bodyguard Steve Neild (5)?

MIND THE GAP

Photographer Zach Hyman takes 30 seconds to snap 10 photos of nudes in public places. (Hey, it's art, man.) Here Jocelyn Saldana takes the pole on the main stage of the NYC subway.

VENI, VIDI, DA VINCI

Is this a nude Mona Lisa? After being hidden within a wooden wall for nearly a century, this painting, once owned by Napoleon's uncle Cardinal Joseph Fesch, went on view in Leonardo's hometown of Vinci. Historians say they'd love more time for further study.

HANK'S FOR THE MAMMARIES

Overseas viewers got a better look than American fans did at former Girls Next Door star Kendra Wilkinson dur­ing the episode featuring her wed­ding to footballer Hank Baskett.

THE

WEARIN'

O'THE

NOT MUCH

Looks like just another secu­rity checkpoint to us: In cel­ebration of St. Patrick's Day, and its "no hidden extras" fares, Aer Lin-gus asked Londoners to doff duds, don sham­rocks and go on parade.

THE YEAR IN SEX

SPICY CURRY

Adrianne Curry didn't do a playboy cover in 2009, but her Twitter follow­ers got plenty of hot shots to whet their appetite. There's always room for more Curry, particu­larly the cheese-

rako warintw

PATERNITY BLUES

Despite his repeated denials, it looks as though John Edwards did in fact father Rielle Hunter's baby (with mom, left). We await results, of a reported DNA test.

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GIMME A 71 GIMME AN A!

Parents who saw Cyber Girl Carlie Chris­tine's online photos had her stripped of her cheerleader coaching job at a California high school. So why were they looking?

HOT UNDER THE COLLAR "^=

Caught canoodling on the beach with Ruhama Cane)-lis, Miami Beach's Alberto Cutie, a.k.a. TV's Father Oprah, left the Catholic Church, married Canellis and plans to enter the Episcopal priesthood.

THEIR CUPS RUNNETH OVER

Boobs news Ten­nis pro Simona Halep (1) had her breasts reduced despite protests: Monica Hansen (2) is asking for big bucks from a surgeon (not hers) for '—

using her photos, in Britain. Marks & Spencer had to quit charging extra for big bras (3i Chantelle Houghton (4) begged off a thrill nae. fearing her F implants couldn't take its g-torce.

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STUPID DAVE TRICKS

David Letterman revealed affairs with staffers, including Stepha­nie Birkitt (above left), after a CBS producer alleg­edly tried to extort $2 million from him. A ratings spike led to a burst of euphoria, followed by fatigue.

NICE TRY, BUT WE DO THIS BETTER

Ever watch the safety demo? Air New Zealand bid for passengers' atten­tion with a video of body-painted flight attendants (left). Cute, but our Painted Ladies (above) they're not.

8 SHOCKING PAST *

I OF WOMAN BEHIND" GIBSON'S DIVORCE »

CELEBRITY SPLIT OF THE YEAR #2

Avowed Roman Catho­lic Mel Gibson woos Oksana Grigorieva (a former Timothy Dalton girlfriend) and impreg­nates her; Robyn (inset), his wife of 28 years and mother of his seven kids, has had enough.

CAN YOU DIG IT?

They're our MVPs of the AVP. Pro volleyball play­ers Michelle More and Suzanne Stonebarger, also known as Team Gorgeous, lived up to the name in September's playboy.

NOBEL PIECE PRIZE?

President Barack Obama and French counterpart Nicolas Sarkozy check out Rio's Mayora Tavares at the G8 summit.

FLACK ATTACK

Seems as

though a spank-1

ing is in order:

The story was _ that Disney's Chee­tah Girls star Adrienne Bailon's laptop was stolen and this photo was leaked. Turns out she and publicist Jonathan Jaxson faked the report "to juice up her image."

DUNE JUST FINE, THANKS

What do you do after you leave the Playboy Mansion? If you're Bridget Marquardt. you trot the , globe for the Travel Channel's Bridget's Sexiest Beaches (above). At right, a photo from i when she starred in playboy's I own production of Bridget's 1 Sexiest Heels and Negligee.

THE YEAR IN SEX

RUB-A-DUB-DUB, THREE FRIENDS'IN A TUB

A sexy hoUub home video of Dr. and Mrs. McSteamy. Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart. frolicking in the nude with playboy mod^No^ember 2004) and former Miss Teen USA Kari Ann Peniche bubbled onto the JnpffTet—antt-was speedily removed.

¦ WRONG

NUMBER?

Just how did this cell phone photo of Rihanna (and other pics of her, including one fea­turing a nipple ring) happen to end up online? Chris Brown claims he's not guilty this time.

There's life after

VEGAS

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Mansi

West, Holly

Madison ' is hard at >'

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in the Las

Vegas

spectacle

WILL STRIP FOR MAD MEN

Skin is still in on Madison Avenue—and everywhere else around the globe where advertisers look to grab attention. Gorgeous Oscar winner Charlize Theron (1) bares all for Dioj s new J adore L'eau Cologne Florale; Sasha Grey (2) does it for American Apparel; a vintage shot of Playmate Cynthia Myers. Miss December

Agent Provoca­teur hires a horde of daring models (4) to promote its collection of mini­mal undies.

GROWN MEN ENVY HUNGRY AFRICAN CHILD1

New mother Salma Hayek, while visiting Sierra Leone—the country with the world's highest infant mortality rate—saw a hungry child and nursed him.

SHOW US YOUR TWITS!

Kim Kardashian, k arguably the hot- , test cast mem- , ber on the reality show Keeping Up With the Kar-dashians. tweeted this image of her­self preparing for a photo shoot __ to her on­line fans.

SOPHIE IS CHOIC

U.K. Cyber Girl Sop QTade. who triumph

er 21 other entrants-t^t win the latest British Big Brother, is splitting her earnings between charity and—sorry!—clothes.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE MANSION

Now ensconced at Playboy Man­sion West are Playmate Crystal Har­ris (December 2009) and Playmate twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, who beautified our sum­mer double issue as Miss July and

season five!/

¦ ns

¦ Karissa and

Miss August 2009.

The trio appeared

on Chelsea Lately

(inset) to promote

The Girls Next Door's

sixth season. The

show's recipe is still

intact: Take three hot

girls, add a dash of

Hef and stir.

THE YEAR IN S.EX

TAINT MISBEHAVIN'

Eminem had just finished singing "Crack a Bottle" at the MTV Movie Awards when he got a dose of crack in the face courtesy of an airborne Sacha Baron Cohen. Apparently outraged,

Slim Shady stormed out of the audi­torium. It was later revealed, however, that the stunt had been rehearsed, with a winged Cohen, in his gay fash-ionista Bruno persona, lowered on wires by stagehands.

TWO WEEKS? TRY NINE MONTHS

A teenage girl in Fairfax County, Vir­ginia was suspended from Oakton High School for two weeks when she was caught popping a birth control pill during lunchtime (with her mother's approval). Had it been heroin or LSD, she'd have gotten off with five days.

MY DOG SKIPPY

Whiteland, Indiana's Michelle Owen, involved in a custody dispute with an ex-boyfriend, asked police to

search her computer for evidence that he had downloaded child por­nography. Cops found no porn but

discovered two videos of Owen (shown in mug shot) engaging in illicit sexual performances with her beagle. She's now facing bestiality charges for the activities, which are said to have involved peanut butter.

UFT, SEPARATE, FLOG

In Somalia, Islamic extremists calling themselves Al Shabaab have taken to stopping and checking women to see if they are wearing bras, which the group claims are deceptive and therefore contrary to Sharia law. According to news reports, gunmen roam the streets in search of women who appear to have firm breasts. They are then inspected and, if found not jiggly enough, whipped. You can't make this stuff up.

DONTLOOK FOR BIG SALES IN SOMALIA

The Slovenian manufacturer Lisca is advertising the Smart Memory Bra, which it claims will boost a woman's cleavage when she's aroused.

IT AINT OVER TILL-IT'S OVER

ESPN baseball analyst and former New York Mets general manager Steve Phillips flamed out spectacularly when newspapers published a letter his 22-year-old mistress, ESPN production assistant Brooke Hundley, had sent to his wife. In true bunny-boiler fashion, Hundley's missive dissected the Phil-lipses' marriage, name checked all four of their children and described birthmarks on Steve's man parts. In the space of a few weeks he lost his job, his marriage ended and he checked into rehab for sex addiction.

A MAN-SIZE TAN

Taking a fig leaf from such female celebrity product

hawkers as Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson, actor-comedian Will Ferrell has launched SPF-30 sun­screen products in three formulas, including Forbid­den Fruit (with apologies to the Book of Genesis).

Proceeds will benefit the Cancer fc College charity's Willpowered Schol arship Fund, which grants student ait to cancer survivors and amputees.

TELL THAT TO THE GUYS IN SOMALIA

A cash-stuffed brassiere saved a Brazilian woman's life in a shoot-out aboard a bus. Ivonete Pereira de Oliveira got in the way of gun­fire between would-be robbers and an off-duty cop, but the bullet that struck her chest was slowed by some $70 worth of bills she had hid­den inside her bra.

STROKER ACE

We've learned Masanobu Sato's secret. The two-time winner of San Fran-

Cisco's annual Masturbate-a-thon jerked off for a record nine hours and 58 minutes on May 2. The Japanese sex-toy worker credits his stamina to an "abundant imagination." We say he's so good because, as he reports, his girl­friend isn't really into sex and they make love "only a few times a year."

SPLIT TIME

"I felt like I was putting on a pretty good show," Olympic medalist Ricky Berens admitted after his suit split during the World Swimming Cham­pionships in Rome. Competition, not modesty, will have these polyurethane outfits banned in 2010.

HABEN 5IE MILCH?

Germany's con­servative Christian Democratic Union Bundestag candi­date Vera Lengs-feld spiced up her campaign with a billboard featuring herself with the

equally well-endowed chancellor Angela Merkel and the legend we

HAVE MORE TO OFFER.

CARDINALS FANS, YOU JUST GOT JUNK'D

Comcast cable subscribers in the Tucson area got a surprise during Super Bowl XLIII when play was inter­rupted by a 30-second clip from adult channel Shorteez that featured porn star Evan Stone's penis. EVERY FRAME OF SAND

When Vivid Entertainment announced its plan to distribute a sex tape of Playmate Shauna Sand (Miss May 1996) and her boyfriend, Sand threat­ened to sue to block its release. She dropped the suit just as the video was scheduled to drop

because it came to light she had— pardon our use of complex legalese here—"signed a contract" with Vivid.

WHO WANTS A CIGAR?

During a boys' night out while on a charity mission in Buenos Aires. Bill Clinton received a lap dance from Argentinian Big Brother contestant Andrea

Rincon—to an enthu­siastic response, according to the Argentine version of Maxim. This being a story about Clin­ton, reports vary wildly as to what happened next.