The Multi-Orgasmic Woman

REFERENCING ANCIENT TAOIST SEXUAL PHILOSOPHY, AN ADVENTUROUS FEMALE WRITER DISCUSSES THE INTENSITY AND VARIETY OF HER ORGASMS

or a man, a woman's orgasm is as mysterious as anything he , may be so lucky to encounter in his life. The more he is exposed to it, the more he wants to experience it himself, but he never will. What makes it even more inscrutable to men is its elusive nature. For decades the scientific community has failed to agree on what happens when a woman comes. Are there different kinds of female orgasms? Does the G-spot exist? What about eargasms? Today, humans have brainstormed supercomputers and rockets that can fly to Mars. But the female orgasm remains a mystery.

For more than 5,000 years Chinese philosophers have documented the depth and variety of the female orgasm. The Hongshan period (4000 to 3000 b.c.) is responsible for many of the Chinese healing treatments we see today—acupuncture, herbalism and qigong. In theTaoist system sex was considered medicine and a powerful way of building energy in the body. Expert courtesans advised emperors of the day on how to har­ness sexual energy to strengthen their power and charisma. Physicians prescribed different sexual positions to heal specific ailments. For exam­ple, you ought to fuck your woman from behind if she's experiencing low energy and feeling gloomy. It will stimulate her liver, the ref lexology point to recharge her mood. A woman with an ailment linked to weak kidneys would be advised to incorporate reverse cowgirl into her routine several times a day for a number of weeks.

We've carried on with some of these ancient Chinese traditions in mod­ern times. Open the yellow pages and see how (continued on page 116)

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(continued from page 84) many acupuncturists are listed in your area. Why wouldn't we continue with Taoist sex­ual philosophy as well?

I have. As a woman who has placed great emphasis on the importance of sex— studying it, having lots of it, figuring out how to make it better—I can say a well-fucked woman is a thing of beauty. I can always tell a woman who's well fucked. She is relaxed, confident and sensually ripe. For a man, the rewards will come back tenfold.

Taoists theorize that women have three types of orgasms: clitoral, G-spot and cervi­cal. They liken them to three gates that need to be entered in progression to fully bring a woman to an ecstatic state of arousal. What are these orgasms all about, and how does a woman get there?

FIRST GATE: THE CLITORIS

Taoists consider the clitoris to be the meet-and-greet zone. They do not consider the clitoral orgasm the final destination but rather a tool in the box of pleasure induc-ers to excite a woman and prepare her for more profound bliss. The clitoral orgasm is the easiest for women to have and, for many, the only kind they know. Freud was on the same page as the Taoists with his belief that the clitoral orgasm is the more superficial orgasm and the good stuff takes place inside the vagina. The clitoris is also the reflexology point for the pineal and

pituitary glands, which initialize the pro­duction of endorphins.

"Most people think orgasm occurs between the hips, but it's actually between the ears," says Minke de Vos, a Vancouver-based senior Universal Tao instructor. "It starts in the glands of bliss—inside the brain. That triggers the whole thing."

The best way to stimulate the clitoris is to hold back its hooded covering, then start with rhythmic circular strokes, using a moistened fingertip or tongue. My lover often inserts a finger just at the mouth of my pussy and holds it there, poised, while he's licking me. Poised is a good place to be; you want to make her wait. It's far better to delay any penetration until a woman is begging for it, and even then it's good to wait a little more. The ejaculate she emits with her cli-toral orgasm further lubricates the vagina, inviting her lover inside.

SECOND GATE: THE G-SPOT

The G-spot orgasm is a more aggressive ani­mal, responding to strength and generally two strong and splayed fingers. Touch is all about confidence, G-spot touch even more so. A G-spot needs to feel your absolute, unbending and steady intention. For pre­cision, fingers are optimal. All women vary, but my G-spot lives about an inch inside me, so it can be massaged with a two-fingered come-hither motion.

To differentiate from a physiological per­spective, the nerve that goes to the clitoris, the pudendal nerve, is more localized and

external. The pelvic nerve in the vagina is situated deeper and spread out, creating a more generalized, internal sensation. The G-spot orgasm tends to be more elusive than the clitoral for two reasons: (1) It takes skill to find the spot and stroke it masterfully enough to make it swell and respond. (2) Since it's internal it needs more than just a talented hand. As a progressively deeper release, it has more of an emotional component to it.

"In my experience, very few women have deep pelvic or multiple orgasms, and the reason is they don't understand their sexual pleasure zones and are having trouble with trust and surrender," says Dr. Rachel Carl-ton Abrams, co-author of The Multi-Orgasmic Couple. "Particularly with the vaginal and cervical spots, surrender is absolutely criti­cal." If she's going to surrender and fall, she needs someone to be able to catch her.

A man's confidence does this. If my lover is stimulating my G-spot with everything he's got and I sense he's prepared for the intensity of what might come out of me—be it screams, tears or fluid—then I can let go. If I don't feel like he can take it, I'll have a much harder time getting there.

Another reason some women don't have these orgasms is because of weak pel­vic muscles. The courtesans of the Yellow Emperor's court in ancient China practiced vaginal weight lifting to tone the internal muscles. A woman would insert a jade egg into her vagina and attach weights to the end of it. Once toned, she could exert such control over her lover's penis that she was

not only able to prevent him from reach­ing orgasm too soon, but she could allow him to orgasm without ejaculating. (Some women still practice this form of weight lift­ing. Consider Tatiana Kozhevnikova from Novosibirsk, Russia, who won The Guin­ness Book of World Records title for strongest vagina this past July. Kozhevnikova set her second world record by lifting 31 pounds. With her vagina.)

G-spot orgasms further open the woman and initiate the release of yet another fluid. What follows? The golden zone, the myste­rious and coveted cervical orgasm.

THIRD GATE: THE CERVIX

If the clitoral orgasm is more physical and the G-spot orgasm more emotional, then the cervical orgasm is the deepest and most transcendent of them all. Taoists consider it to be the ultimate peak of pleasure. In Taoist thinking, the cervix is the reflexology point for the heart. Stimulating it creates intense emotional release.

Some scientists claim this elusive orgasm does not exist. Some of the most pleasurable and profound experiences, such as love or spiritual ecstasy, are hard to document in a lab. Does this mean they don't exist? As a woman who has had some phenomenal cervical orgasms that eclipse all others, I'm saying they do.

When I try to describe what a cervical orgasm is like, I tell people it's like being on ecstasy. It's a whole-body shimmer, a high that spreads out so everything feels delicious and I radiate for days afterward. Every touch, every word, every interaction becomes exquisite. I recall once being at a dinner party with my man. Being in pub­lic while knowing we both wanted it—that alone was passionate foreplay. The moment we got in the door to his place, he propelled me into his room and pushed me onto his bed. I was on my stomach, wriggling out of my jeans, propping my ass in the air. He fucked me vigorously and relentlessly until I was screaming, wailing and crying, all the while continuing to let go. For two days afterward I was still shaking.

Some men may not be able to reach a woman's cervix. Positioning helps—try taking her from behind while she's on her knees. Women usually need some warming up before they can accept deep, intense cervical penetration. If she's resisting or tensing up, ease up until she opens more. You can usually tell when you've hit the cer­vix because a woman's noises will change. They'll become more guttural and raw, uncontrolled.

The more you practice, the easier it is for her to return to these places in her mind. "The human body is capable of almost any­thing," says Abrams. "Once you've had that sensation, you've activated it in your neuro-cognitive system. Now your body knows how to go to that experience, and you can access it through your imagination." The Taoist master Mantak Chia once said he could make love to his wife while she sat on the other side of the room.

There you go: eargasms, orgasms and more-gasms. Anytime, anywhere.

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