The Fuck it List

Ditch the bucket list of things you want to do

before you die. Our guide to 19 achievable

aspirations will make you feel gloriously alive

Drive a Ferrari Like an Italian

? Spending six figures on a Ferrari is a distant dream for most guys; the reality of a 400-horsepower beauty idling in rush-hour traffic is a distinct bummer. To afFordably and unfor­gettably experience the automotive quintessence of la dolce vita, spend your next vacation in northern Italy, where at Push Start Maranello you can drive a Ferrari the way it was meant to be driven. For $450 you get a Ferrari F430 Spider and 60 min­utes of drive time in the Italian countryside, pushstart.it

Train to Be an Astronaut

? Book a $5,000 flight on Zero Gravity Corporation's modified Boeing 727 to experience the closest thing to weightlessness without a rocket. This is the same company NASA uses to train spaceflight crews, so you know it's the real deal, gozerog.com

? You don't need to be Thomas Jefferson or Francis Ford Coppola to realize the gentlemanly dream of producing your own wine. For as little as $5,000 you can oversee the making and bottling of a barrel of wine (that's 300 bottles) through the Sonoma-based Wine Foundry. Consult with staff winemakers and designers on everything from selecting a vineyard and a varietal to creating a label and marketing your creation. With the trained pros at your back, the hard­est part will be coming up with a name for your wine. theunnefoundry.com

DEEJAY A VEGAS NIGHTCLUB

? Here's one story you won't want to stay in Vegas: You deejayed TAO nightclub at the Venetian, the same venue that globe-trotting artists Steve Aoki and DJ Vice have played. It's a brag-worthy experience you can claim as your own—no experience necessary. For $25,000 (plus a private-event rental fee), a resident DJ will give you a lesson in how to work the decks and build a perfect set list. When you take the stage, your set will be accompanied by a synchronized audiovisual production complete with lights and lasers. taolasvegas.com

Adopt a Kobe Cow

? The big-shot move of ordering a Kobe beef T-bone at a steakhouse is nothing compared with owning the whole damned cow. True Grass Farms in northern California raises organic grass-fed wagyu cattle and will sell you all 350 pounds of the finely marbled beef broken down into steaks, roasts and humble cuts for $3,800. If you don't have a walk-in meat locker or enough friends to diwy up the spoils, opt for the more apartment-dweller-friendly 22-pound "urban share" for $315. truegrassfarms.com

6

? The idea of having your

own resident butler is a fine

daydream, until you factor in the

reality of sharing your bachelor

pad with someone other than

a beautiful girl. A host of new

apps and websites put an army of

private staffers at your disposal

without all the Downton Abbey

drama. Popular requests include

booking travel, assembling furniture and shopping for gro­ceries, but there's nothing to stop you from asking someone to buy gin, vermouth and ice and then stir up a batch of martinis on a Friday night.

TASIBABBIT Post the job you need to have completed; background-checked helpers will submit bids. taskrabbit.com

FAICT BA1DS A $45 monthly fee gets

you 15 requests for any job that

can be done over the phone or

on a computer. Yes, you can hire

someone to be on hold for you.

fancyhands. com

FIYEBB An online marketplace for

services that cost just five bucks.

fiverr.com

Create a Robot Doppelgdnger

? The Double Robotics system ($2,500) allows you to be in two places at once—virtually—via an iPad mounted on a Segway-like platform that you can control remotely from anywhere in the world. Drive your double to meetings, then stick around to see who gets into trouble at the office party, doublerobotics.com

8. BREAK A WORLD RECORD

? Let other men strain their backs and bloat their bellies with feats of strength and speed eating. An accomplishment certified by none other than Guinness World Records is more achievable than you think. The web-based Challengers competition has 200 breakable records, from Mario Kart time trials to quarters stacked on the back of a hand in one minute. Prove your mettle via video for official certification. challengers.guinnessworldrecords.com

Direct a Movie

? Blockbuster technology is finally within reach

of mere mortals. When Michael Bay had to

select a camera to shoot the fourth installment

of the Transformers film franchise, he chose

a RED digital model that can be rented by

civilians like you, complete with lenses and fancy

accessories, for $1,000 a day. Budding directors

with Bling Ring-level aspirations can rent a

more indie-appropriate rig for half that price.

5kcamerarentals.com

10

Finally Have

Your Suit Custom-Made

? If the clothes make the man, then stand above all other men by having your

clothes made. The bespoke suit is the pinnacle of the garment game. Gone are

the days of jetting to Hong Kong to have a one-of-a-kind suit tailored for you.

Choose fabrics, lapel width, venting and other details

that will set you apart at the office or out on the town.

THOKSIEEIEYIfyoucangoto London, head to this tailor favored by David Beckham.

thomsweeney.co.uk

ASTOR i BLACK With prices start­ing at $650, this company will craft your suit after sending a tailor to your home or office for a custom fitting. astorandblack. com

$

IIDOCHIIO This site lets you

customize the lining, pocket

flaps and other cool details

Dn a wide range of suit styles.

indochino.com

11. Sponsor a Sports Team

? There's nothing like seeing your name embroidered on the uniforms of athletes performing at the highest level...which is why man invented bowling. For a few thousand dollars you can sponsor a professional bowling team. (Visit local alleys or bowling message boards to find teams looking for backing.) Be sure to negotiate to receive a percentage of prize monies and, of course, a bowling shirt.

13.

Commission

a Sculpture

of Yourself

? Indulge your Napoleonic narcissism

without having to deal with the expense

and hassle of hiring a fine artist to paint an

oil portrait. At the New York showroom of

3-D-printing pioneer MakerBot, have a 3-D

mage of your face scanned in a photo booth

or a mere five bucks. For $60 more, buy the

plastic 3-D version of your head, suitable

for displaying on your fireplace mantel or

hot-gluing to the hood of your car.

maksrbot.com

BECOME A TECH MOGUL

? Don't let Jeff Bezos,

Justin Timberlake and

Ashton Kutcher have all

the fun of reshaping the

future of technology and

culture. New crowdsourc-

ing platforms put digital

entrepreneurship within the

reach of regular folks.

HICMVEHTBRES For $5,000,

accredited "angel" investors

can bankroll start-ups with

growth potential.

microventures.com

«;**

APPHACER Browse mobile-app

start-ups and back your

favorites for as little as $30.

appbackr.com

$ TOLT Give back like Bill Gates.

Use this site to support

deserving charities, favorite

causes and other nonprofits.

fundly.com

Buy a Pet Sharh

? Every man who has ever secretly identified with a James Bond villain has dreamed of making every week shark week at his house. You could, if you were so inclined, spend tens of thousands of dollars on a full-size hammerhead shark and a massive custom-built MTV Cribs-v/orthy tank. But an impressive (and less endangered) three-foot-long bamboo cat shark and a plug-and-play 250-gallon saltwater aquarium will set back budding Dr. Evils a cool $3,000.

Write That Book

? Sure, you can wait

until you retire to

chronicle your life's

exploits in a memoir or

thinly veiled novel, but

in today's confessional

digital culture there's no

moment like now. Below

are ways to do it, from

the traditional route to

the easiest.

WOBISHOP Quit your job and

apply to the University of

Iowa Writers' Workshop.

Tuition: $26,000

SELF PUBLISH Amazon's

CreateSpace service sets

up authors with Kindle,

print-on-demand and

audiobook distribution.

Base price: $4,500

$

PLAY THE VIDED GAME

Practice your chops

in the video game The

Novelist, in which you—

that's right—try to write

a novel.

Price: $15

? The golden age of travel is far behind us, but a little-known network of luxury train cars straight out of Murder on the Orient Express—think Tchaikovsky-playing pianists and fine china in the dining car—is out there for men willing to pay. Thanks to Private Rail Cars, meticulously restored railcars with names such as Northern Dreams, Majestic Imperator and Golden Eagle Trans-Siberian Express can be rented

and hitched to commercial trains in the U.S. and

Europe for an unforgettable adventure in the way

travel ought to be. privaieraiicars.net

nJIPENTRESTAUHSNT

? Despite the well-known fact that most restaurants are doomed to :ail, legions of men with Top Chef fantasies remain undeterred. If you are one of those dreamers, consider a realistic first attempt—one that won't leave you saddled with a building lease and a vast wine cellar :hat needs to be unloaded at auction. Try your hand at running a food truck for a more manageable taste of hell's kitchen. Los Angeles-based Road Stoves will set you up with a truck and marketing and promotion services and will even help you dial in a concept, roadstoves.com

WJoin the Jet Set

? You used to have to be a Fortune 500 CEO or a studio head to skip

the insults of modern air travel and fly on a private jet. Thanks to the

minds behind Uber, the revolutionary car-service app, you can now use

their new aviation equivalent. Blackjet takes advantage of deadheads

(empty seats) on underutilized aircraft to offer fliers the private-jet

experience for the price of a full-fare first-class ticket. A jet may not

offer lay-flat seats and warm Brazil nuts, but the pleasure of leaving the

hoi polloi behind in the security line is priceless, blackjet.com

Buy an I sin it it

? The adage that no man

is an island may be true,

but there's no stopping

a man from buying an

island all for himself. For

the price of a top-of-the-

line Hyundai you can buy a

one-acre island off Maine,

a beachy slice of Belize or a

Nova Scotian redoubt. Buy

an iPhone solar charger

and start putting together

that desert-island playlist.

orivateislandsonline.com