After terrorist threats against the movie The Interview made headlines, we checked in with our buddy who lives in North Korea to see how he was doing. He responded, "I can't complain." Is it in?" asked the man. "Almost," answered the woman. "Does it hurt?" asked the man. "Uh-huh," answered the woman. "Let me put it in slowly," the man suggested. "It still hurts," she said. "Okay," the man said, "let's try a bigger shoe size." A guy we knew in college has the heart of a lion—and a lifetime ban from the local zoo. A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. To this day the boy who used to bully us in school still takes our lunch money. On the plus side he makes a great Subway sandwich. 5o then the genie asked me, 'What do you want, a better memory or a bigger penis?'" a man told a woman at a bar. "And what did you say?" she asked. He replied, "I don't remember." fvlila Kunis once asked me out," a Hollywood producer told his buddy. "Where were you?" the friend asked. The producer answered, "I was in her room." lWhat's the difference between the American flag and American Idol? The American flag actually has stars. Two prostitutes were standing on a corner when one said, "Tonight's going be a good night. I can smell the dick in the air." The other replied, "Sorry, I just burped." We never wanted to believe that our buddy was stealing from his job on a road construction crew. But when we visited his house, all the signs were there. A man was sitting on his own in a restaurant when he saw a beautiful woman at another table. He sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent back a note: "I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your trousers." "Give me the wine," he wrote back. "As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone." Charles Dickens walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?" Why is Cinderella still a virgin? Because she runs away from all the balls. Wf hat do a dildo and soybeans have in common? They're both used as meat substitutes. What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where she puts the cucumber. A woman walked out of the shower and said to her boyfriend, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" "Yeah," her boyfriend replied. "It means the drain is clogged again." Research shows that 80 percent of men don't know how to use condoms. They're called dads. What's the difference between Russell Brand and the Titanic? Only about 15,000 people went down on the Titanic. iVlost people want a perfect relationship, but some days we just want a hamburger that looks like the ones in commercials. Send your jokes to Playboy Party Jokes, 9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210, or by e-mail to [email protected].
