new year's resolution

To me, equality means equal representation. In this industry, the conventions we see over and over give power to that little voice in your head that tells you you’re not enough: not thin enough, not blonde enough, not good enough. Regardless of ethnic background, size, height or style, you should never be told you don’t belong because you aren’t the right “fit.” Everyone belongs. Everyone fits.

I was raised on the border of Agoura and Calabasas—the infamous Calabasas, thanks to the Kardashians, but where I grew up is nothing like that. It was really chill: flips-flops and jean shorts all day, all year long. My parents put me in karate class when I was a toddler, and when I was a little older my mom put me in flamenco dance classes—castanets and heels one night, gis and belts the next! I haven’t had much occasion to use my black belt, but whipping out nunchucks is still my favorite party trick.

Both my parents work in the movie industry, so like everyone else in L.A., I said, “I’m going to be an actress when I grow up!” I started to go on auditions and landed my first job at 15, in a Gillette Venus razor commercial. It wasn’t till I’d booked the job that I learned J.Lo was going to star in it. That was next level—a little Puerto Rican girl in southern California in a commercial with Jennifer Lopez, the Puerto Rican queen!

So I started my career on a high note—but about six months later, I had a stylist tell me I was too fat and she couldn’t dress me. That was before I could even vote for president.

Back then, I was going to all these castings with really skinny girls, and I wasn’t booking the jobs. I wasn’t them. When I turned 18 and officially became a curvy model, I thought, Why didn’t anyone offer me this in the beginning? Why was straight-size modeling the only way? Being a curvy model is not an “alternative,” like, “Oh, I tried to be skinny, but I gained weight and couldn’t lose it, so I became a plus model.” It’s a natural size, and it’s just as great as any other. I love seeing so many more girls in the game now. You can just be a curvy model, without doing the whole “I starved myself and it didn’t work” thing.

Yes, things have changed, but the industry still has a long way to go—with race just as much as body type. When I go to castings, I’m always told I’m not Latina enough or I’m not white enough because I’m mixed race. It’s frustrating that Hollywood still adheres to stereotypes when imagining a role. My sister, who still acts, says, “All my auditions are for super-sexy and kinkster characters, and I have to speak in Spanish or with a Spanish accent.” We didn’t grow up speaking Spanish at home. My sister failed Spanish class!

Every day I’m on set, someone wonders aloud about my ethnicity. When they ask, “Where is your family from?” I say, “America.” When they ask, “What are you?” I just say, “Human.”

Taking what I’ve learned in the industry, I’d love to someday become an art director or a casting director. That being said, there’s still a lot I’d like to accomplish as a model, because there’s power in representation. I never thought it was important for someone like me to be in PLAYBOY, but I hope some 15-year-old girl, crying because she doesn’t look like what she sees in the media, sees me and says, “I’m okay.”

DATA SHEET

BIRTHPLACE: Calabasas, California

CURRENT CITY: New York City, New York

ON ROLE MODELS

I’ve admired Frida Kahlo ever since I got my bachelor’s degree in art history. At first I fell in love with her use of color, but as I learned about the trials and tribulations of her life, I found her whole journey really inspiring. She was unapologetically herself.

ON OPTIMISM

I just finished The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus. Since then, my perspective on life has changed entirely. Even though we don’t necessarily believe that Sisyphus enjoys constantly pushing a boulder up a hill, I imagine him as happy. That was his task, and it worked out for him. Everything will work out; everything is fine.

ON GUILTY PLEASURES

I’m obsessed with Love Island, the U.K. version. I’m so deep into it, I find that I’m starting to use their slang. I’m saying things like “Oh man, he really mugged me off!” And I have to remind myself, You’re from California, Riley. You can’t say that.

ON FANGIRL FAVORITES

I’m obsessed with Rosalía. I was listening to her before she really made it big. When she came out hip-hopping to flamenco, I thought, This is amazing. I literally learned the choreography to her music videos. I haven’t done that since I was obsessed with Britney Spears as a kid.

ON SIGNS

I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it, but I’m very Sagittarius. We like to travel, learn and do our own thing. I’m independent almost to a fault; being a “team player” is not really my strong suit. Some of my friends may tell you I’m a sore loser, but I just prefer to operate solo.

ON FEAR

I hate lizards. I really hate lizards. Any lizard, even the small ones in California that scurry past you on the sidewalk. Just the thought of them—I have goose bumps on my arms now.

ON ART

I could talk about 17th century baroque paintings—specifically the differences between Dutch, French and Italian baroque paintings—for hours! That’s what I wrote my thesis on in college.

ON GOALS

Another college fun fact: I really wanted to be a spy. I thought, I have a martial arts background, I’m ethnically ambiguous, I can learn Chinese.… My friends joke that modeling could be my spy cover story. Or maybe it already is—I wouldn’t be allowed to say. Maybe I’m the first Playmate spy—or maybe I’m not even the first!