The Empath

“Alicia, you’re amazing.”

I was at a shoot the other day and had to stop, look in the mirror and remind myself of this fact. For most of my life I’ve been on a journey to find peace with who I am. I’m in an amazing place now, but it hasn’t been easy.

Growing up, I got picked on a lot for being overweight. I would come home from school and cry because I wanted to be skinny so I could fit in with everyone else. In middle school I swung between wearing shirt girdles and eating my younger sister’s birthday cake out of the trash. Eventually I thought, Okay, girlfriend, something’s got to change; you can’t keep living your life like this. The pressure of wanting to fit in, to be liked and wanted, was just too much.

When I changed schools halfway through middle school, I began to let my personality shine through. I made some friends and gradually realized my weight didn’t matter to anyone. When I turned 16 I started making healthier lifestyle decisions—but not because I wanted to fit in or lose weight. Being unhealthy made me depressed, and changing my lifestyle helped me find confidence and happiness. It finally clicked: It was never about getting other people to like me; it was always about me loving myself.

I now believe I was meant to go through those struggles so I could share my story and help others. I have a deep sense of empathy ingrained in me. I feel like a sponge a lot of the time: always picking up on people’s energy and learning from them.

That’s part of what drew me to pursue a degree in social anthropology (which, simply put, is the study of human societies and their development over time). People have always intrigued me—the way they feel, think, react to one another. The estimated world population is about 7.7 billion people, and not one single individual is the same as another. Each of our voices is important. We should spend more time listening and less time judging each other based on our exteriors.

Of course I’m very passionate about modeling. I’ve had a lot of exciting opportunities over the past few years, but being a Playmate is by far the highlight of my career thus far. I’m the only person in the world who gets the honor of being the June 2020 Playmate, and that’s special. This is the first time I’ve ever posed nude, but I find that doing anything for the first time is exciting, and I like to live life with no regrets!

Going into the shoot I felt some natural insecurities creep in, and I couldn’t help wondering how my body would be perceived by the world. I had to look in the mirror and remind myself how beautiful I am just the way I am—model, student and activist; a woman of Mexican, Spanish, Irish, French and Native American descent; a force to be reckoned with. During the shoot all the love I’ve kindled within myself came shining through.

I wouldn’t be where I am today, standing proud as the June 2020 Playmate, if I hadn’t learned the power of self-love. You can’t love other people and put love back into the world until you love yourself.

DATA SHEET

BIRTHPLACE AND CURRENT CITY: Las Vegas, Nevada

ON GRATITUDE

I was brought up by a single mom tasked with raising three girls. We didn’t have everything, but we were grateful for what we did have. As an adult, I see the potential in all things. You just have to find it and work with what you’ve got.

ON SIGNS

I’m a water sign (Cancer, to be specific), so water has always been symbolic for me. When I was younger my grandma taught me to meditate; she would put on water sounds and encourage me to visualize the water flushing out all the negativity inside me. It’s a powerful force.

ON ROLE MODELS

Audrey Hepburn inspired a lot of the creative looks for my photo shoot. She was so talented and famous but also so humble, and she used her position to help less fortunate people. I hope to do that too one day.

ON FRUGALITY

If I’m at someone’s house and there’s maybe five or six ingredients lying around, I can make a three-course meal out of it. I also love thrift shopping and digging through everything to find the hidden gems. It’s like a treasure hunt!

ON AFFIRMATIONS

If you say or think one negative thing about yourself, you have to come back with seven positive things. You just have to get out there and believe in yourself, and things will naturally come to you. I believe that 100 percent.

ON JET-SETTING

I went on my first plane ride about a month ago. I’m ready to see the world!

ON PHOBIAS

I love doing anything outside; the only problem is I hate insects. I have a terrible fear of tiny dots, so insects—especially ants—really freak me out. I get goose bumps just thinking about it.

ON ROAD GOALS

I just got my driver’s license—at the age of 21. You should have seen my Uber bills!

ON DEMOCRACY

Voting is not taken as seriously as it once was. It’s vital that people’s voices are heard loud and clear. The world can’t change without the help of all of us. That’s why we must demand to live in a world with justice, peace and unity.

ON FAITH

I love learning about different religions. Growing up I wanted to go to the Appalachian Mountains and be a monk. But then I realized I’d have to be a nun. Maybe one day I’ll be the first female monk!