Politics

3 Things I Hope Happen at the Debate (but Probably Won’t)

Wren Bach / Playboy
Don't expect fireworks. Don't expect anything, really.

Tonight will be the first time Vice President Kamala Harris and President Donald Trump will square up against each on the presidential debate stage. Since replacing the top of the Democratic Party ticket, Harris has taken a slight lead in the race nationally, but things are beginning to look a little murky in battleground states.

There’s a chance for Harris to come out swinging, or Trump to sundown so hard he turns into goo, but we live in the Devil’s Domain, where we aren’t afforded even slight morsels of fun as the world (occasionally literally) burns around us.

The heat from the 2016 Republican Primary, where Trump insulted Jeb Bush’s mom and almost made Marco Rubio cry, isn’t going to happen again, sadly. Conversely, the 2020 Democratic primary when every candidate pretended to stand for actual toothy policy when sharing the stage with Senator Bernie Sanders is also unlikely to be replicated, at least in the short term. Still, a guy can dream. Here are three things I’d love to see in tonight’s presidential debate, but I won’t be holding my breath.

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1. Trump replicating President Joe Biden’s catastrophic meltdown

Say what you will about Harris, 59: she’s spry. Because of a semi-viral video of her that I’m low-key obsessed with (one where she’s singing “The Wheels on the Bus”) I always picture her full of mirth and vigor. Now that Biden is out of the race, Trump, whether he likes it or not, is officially the doddering old guy. And I don’t say that lightly. When asked about child care at a campaign stop recently, he proceeded to spit an unhinged word salad that barely registered as English.

Occasionally, the wet-brained pablum that he spews is—I hate to admit it—hilarious. Who can forget all the times he name dropped “The late, great Hannibal Lecter” in speeches about folks south of the border seeking asylum? Once you hear it once, you’ll be saying it in intervals around the house to the dismay of everyone you love (like me). There’s a musicality to it. “The late, great Hannibal Lecter,” a guy who one, isn’t dead, and two, isn’t real.

Can we expect similar sundowning at tonight’s presidential debate? Will we get to add yet another Trump brainworm that everyone can share at the water cooler from now until November?

Inshallah. Considering how the media at large grades this guy on a curve, I wouldn’t expect sparks to fly.

2. Harris Coming out Strong on Policy

Harris supporters online and off will eschew the idea that the candidate isn’t big on policy. “Just look at her website!” The Harris/Walz campaign site, for a while, had little more than a donate button on it. Now, thankfully, there’s an entire section full of policies and plans Harris hopes to implement should she occupy the White House next year. What I would love is if she opened her mouth, and laid them out for people to hear, agree with, and hopefully, hold her to account when it comes to making these plans happen.

In recent weeks, there’s been this line about how the campaign is all about “The politics of joy.” I don’t know if this stuff resonates with swing voters, but it fills me with a white hot rage. It’s an even more deluded version of President Bill Clinton “feeling your pain” and then proceeding to not do anything to alleviate it. Anytime a Democrat shies away from even tacit connection to New Deal style policy, with messaging that was likely written by an algorithm it doesn’t inspire me to vote. It inspires me to defenestrate myself.

The safe bet is that Harris will at least come out swinging on nationwide abortion rights after Roe died a dog’s death during a Democratic presidency. It’s a winning issue, especially in swing states and even some deep red ones. But making the safe bet isn’t always practical when talking about the Democratic Party.

Read more: 5 Reasons Tim Walz Would Make a Very Good Vice President

3. Harris Cutting the Biden Cord

At the moment, President Biden is putting up President Nixon during Watergate approval numbers. The worst part of the Democratic National Convention was easily the night they spent gushing over the incumbent president. Who is this for? There’s a reason Harris replaced Biden, who I will remind everyone, had to be forced to step down from the ticket. Even after the most dismal debate performance in American history, he was still determined to run.

Luckily, through massive internal pressures and the grace of God, Biden handed the reigns on the ticket to Harris, who salvaged a dead campaign. At this point, her connection to this historically unpopular president is nothing more than an albatross. I’m not saying she’s got to spit on his name, but her legacy should be her own, if she’s even fortunate enough to be able to make one.

This election, especially after the Tim Walz pick, was looking more and more like a layup. Unfortunately for Harris, this is no longer the case.

Harris is not deep in the red just yet, but it’s probably safe she should at least be considering switching gears. What better place to do so than in front of the nation tonight at the presidential debate? It’s tragic, I know, but she’s going to have to do the thing that’s anathema to many Democrats: politics.

What time is the Trump/Harris Debate?

The first presidential debate between Kamala Harris and Donald Trump will air live at 9pm EST on ABC. World News Tonight anchor David Muir and ABC News Live anchor Linsey Davis will be the debate’s moderators.

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