Editor’s note: This dating feature is penned by Playboy Club model Anessa Rossi.

The holidays are here and people are quickly trading in their old summer flings for a new cuddle buddy, but how do you find someone without the monotony of dating apps? While the apps are progressive, they can be mentally draining and overstimulating—not to mention, they can wear on your self esteem and confidence over time. Going days without receiving matches or getting your hopes up for a new
match (just to have the conversation come to an abrupt stop) is enough for anyone to give up on meeting someone.

After hundreds of hours on the apps and little return on my investment, I decided to take it back to my roots and meet people in person. I’ve spent the last year sifting through the trash and swimming in espresso martinis to curate the best spaces to meet new people in—both romantic and platonic. To meet quality people, specifically successful ones, you have to go to the watering holes where successful people gather: upscale restaurants, private gyms and members only spaces.

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Stop waiting for your friends to grab dinner and go out by yourself. I have found the most success meeting people when I’m out alone. Going out by yourself is a great way to boost your self esteem while simultaneously building confidence, maintaining your social skills, and implementing networking strategies.

First, look up high end restaurants in your city; you want to find ones that have a $$$-$$$$ price point on Yelp. The price determines the demographic of the clientele. You’re then going to put on an outfit that you feel most confident in and take a seat at the bar. Whether you’re a connoisseur of espresso martinis, sub reposado tequila (like me), or a soda water on the rocks (with lime), there’s a place at the bar for you.

I have met so many new friends, professional contacts and romantic flings while sitting at a bar in an upscale restaurant. Perks of sitting alone: you make friends with the staff and receive the occasional free
drink, you are easier to approach and less intimidating without your friends, and you are able to work on boosting yourself esteem while learning to be comfortable being alone. Worst case scenario: you become a regular at an exclusive restaurant and always have access to last minute reservations because you know people on this inside—this alone is a bonus that could be used to impress future clients and expand your professional network.

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If a solo trip to the bar isn’t on your 2025 bingo card, then hitting the bar should be—I’m talking about the gym, but an exclusive luxury fitness center. A club where monthly premiums are in the upwards of $350-$400 a month is an investment that guarantees a high return on your personal, professional and romantic life. It is said that your net worth is determined by your network, and that applies to the areas in your life that are physical as well. The benefits of attending a luxury gym are exponential, one being
that the club assesses each member on an individual basis. Member applications are evaluated based off of profession, annual income and applicant’s affiliation with pre-existing club members. By implementing an exclusive membership application process, you know that anyone you meet at the club will be of an elevated status due to the requirements.

Putting romantic endeavors aside, a high end gym is a breeding ground for professional connections. A lot of corporations include luxury fitness centers as a benefit of employment and those same companies prefer to hire referrals from current employees. If you’re struggling to get a seat with the in crowd, what better way to get an invite than becoming friends at the gym? The worst case scenario, in this situation, is you have the dream body on your 2025 vision board, improved mental health, have met new clients to market your business to or got your foot in the door to a new industry.

The pressures of online dating can be unrealistic, unreliable and untrustworthy. When it comes to dating apps people can be anything but themselves. If you want to find people of substance who are successful and disciplined, in all areas of their life, you need to reevaluate the watering holes you’re frequenting. Start being strategic and learn to identify the demographic that each establishment is marketing to. Establish the demographic that you are marketing to. By training your mind to be comfortable to be alone in public places, you will eventually become comfortable in your solitude everywhere. Once you have become accustomed to solitude, you will find it easier to walk away from situations that no longer serve you and gain patience to wait for the ones that do.

Anessa is on The Playboy Club. Talk to her now.