How To Play Company Politics

It goes without saying that you, as a rising young man, will live a clean life, rise early, work, hard, and keep your employer's interests at heart.

These are all laudable traits, but of course they will get you nowhere without a thorough understanding of company politics.

Company politics should never be confused with national politics or political parties, though it is safe to assume that if you expect to rise rapidly to the top you will either bea Republican or seemto be one.

Be A Politician

Do not confuse this with being a politician in the ward politics sense. Businesses are governed, not by the majority, but by the men at the top, in a manner reminiscent of the medieval Italian city-state. Read Machiavelli—and then learn the following easy rules:

1. Pick the Right Team.In your company, as in all healthy, live-wire groups, there are bound to be areas of friction. Enter them with a will.

There are always two or more factions righting for control, or for favor with the Big Wheels. It is essential to maintain neutrality long enough to determine which side is going to win.

No matter how well you do your work, if you choose the wrong side you will soon be in a sorry plight indeed.

2. Be a Pussyfooter.During this wait-and-see period others may try to force you to choose sides. Resist them!

For example, during a heated argument at a meeting you may be asked:

"Well, Finch, what do youthink about it?"

The chips would seem to be plainly down, but a skillful pussyfooter need not be dismayed.

"Oh, it's obvious, sir!" (Never seem to pussyfoot!) "Mr. Bank's statement is so clear – " (A smile here to Blank, who may still be in the running.) " – that I would say by all means buy more wickets! On the other hand, Mr. Threep's point is certainly well taken!" (Threep is jar from being cowiled out, and you know his mother-in-law holds a big batch of stock.) "I'd say buy sump pumps, too!"

In short, steer a bold path, right down the middle. After the meeting it is well to see both Blank and Threep, separately.

"Hope I didn't let you down, sir. Hated to hurt poor old Threep's (Blank's) feelings. Wouldn't want to kick a man who's going down!"

3. Make Your Move.After it is clear that Threep, say, isgoing down, the humane thing to do is to finish him off as quickly as possible. Attack him freely, and preferably in Blank's presence.

"Threep's point is well taken," you say, with a condescending smile, "if we assume his information is correct. However, it looks to me as though he has been badly misguided." (You pity the poor old devil, discredit his whole team, yet maintain an attitude of great magnanimity.) "In line with Mr. Blank's figures, it would be disastrous to follow Threep's recommendations. Buy wickets, buy morewickets, and drop the whole sump pump line!"

If you administer the coup de graceto Threep, Blank will soon make you his right-hand man. You are on your way up – well deserved reward for courage and clear thinking.

From this point on, follow Blank loyally. There is nothing like loyalty, as long as your man moves up fast enough to leave plenty of room behind.

If he does not, never fear. You must think first of the company's good, and if Blank is not Doing His Job, you must not let sentiment interfere. By this time you should be skillful at giving people the business. Give it to Blank, in a nice way, and afterwards do your best to find him another job. He will thank you for it. Care for your friends, and they will care for you.

4.Stab the Right Backs.Your manner at all times should be friendly, kind, and courteous. The good businessman is everyone's Pal.

But from time to time some selfish person will stand in your way.

Before dispatching him it is well to ask yourself: Is he married to the boss's daughter? Is he a fair-haired boy? Is he related to a customer or client?

If he has attained his position because of ability, a few disparaging remarks in the right earswill do for him quickly – but beware the man who has deeper roots!

5.Guard Your Own Back.You can assume that your assistants will serve you loyally and selflessly, as long as you keep your distance.

But the wise businessman always protects his rear. The surest way of doing this is to be careful in choosing assistants. It can be done in several different ways. Let us examine them all.

a. The Happy-Moron Theory.Your safest course is to hire only imbeciles as assistants. They will worship you—as assistants should!—and will never be able to threaten your position. If you are a good talker you should be able to convince management that they are doing a grand job, but only because they have you for guidance.

b. The Divide-and-Conquer Theory.This is no course for timid souls. Hire the best men – but make them compete for your favor. You will find it an easy task to poison their little minds and turn them against each other – but in a constructive way. Make sure you are always the Great White Father to whom they will run in peril.

c. The Ugly-Duckling Theory.One chap with extremely modest ability and a glib tongue rose rapidly to the top by this method. He hired brilliant but unpresentable assistants, men with fine minds but repulsive personalities who sat behind filing cabinets doing superb work for which he took full credit.

Few would have had the courage to take so daring a step!

But you may find a fourth and even better way. At this moment experiments are going on in offices throughout our nation.

6.Upward and Onward.Clearly the best way, however, to keep ahead of your assistants is to blaze a bold straight path—forward! As you move rapidly ahead with giant strides your assistants will have enough to do filling the posts you leave behind. You will be an in spiration to those under you. It is only those ahead who need beware!

7.Choose the Right Wife.Remember, the American home is sacred, and it is a shoddy fellow indeed who uses his wife to further his own selfish ends.

However, if you live in a small city or company town it is well to choose your wife carefully, as she, too, will have to play her part. Otherwise you may be forced to replace her, and this should notbe done frequently, and then only between jobs.

Choose a wife who is adaptable and flexible, who will fit in well with the group. She should not, of course, have any definite opinions, or any special mentality, as these will soon rub others the wrong way. It is important above all not to offend.

A college education is of great value to the company wife as long as she is careful not to let it creep into her conversation or influence her reading. The social graces, skill at cards, and ability to dress well, all these real tangible attributes of the college graduate, will stand her in good stead.

Most important is to find a girl whom the influential wives will admire. She must be a good clean-cut American girl, leady to make many sacrifices to endear herself to the women around her.

She must be prepared to perform a few simple services:

"Couldn't we pick up your little dears in the morning? After all, I'm usedto getting up at six!"

Or:

"I'm so glad you admire Hilda's cooking. Ponty was wondering if you wouldn't like tohaveher."

And remember, soon the shoe will be on the other foot. As you rise in prestige and authority she will have her innings—if you're still willing to put up with her.

8. Pick the Right Suburb.If your job is in a very large metropolitan area, it is most important to choose the right suburb.

Remember, it is almost as easy to go from New York to Chicago as it is to go (continued on page 51) Company Politics(continued from page25) from Upper Hohokus, New Jersey, to East Squague, Long Island. This is an advantage. Use it! It will insulate you from those who might annoy you, and put you right into the laps of those with whom you would like to be cozy.

Beware the Commuter's Bridge Game.It is a rare man indeed who remains long on speaking terms with his "cronies" of the morning and evening bridge game. If you mustplay bridge, choose men in another company, preferably another industry. Some men are slow to forgive, and smoldering hatreds have blasted many a budding career.

Be a Nodder.The skillful Paper Reader (as opposed to the Bridge Commuter) soon learns to give influential acquaintances a warm, charming nod-and-smile as he passes their half-empty seats and sits with a total stranger.

This is to be recommended even if the acquaintance is important to you in company politics. It may seem a wasted opportunity, but it may prevent your being transferred abruptly to North Dakota.

Pick the Right Country Club.This, of course, is a must.The gay man-to-man Gemiillichke.itof the locker room, the rough-and-ready camaraderie of sand trap and water hole will stand you in good stead in the hurly-burly of the business world.

One keen young man made a smashing success by always managing to arrive first at his boss's ball when it lay in the rough. After deftly kicking it out of a rabbit hole he would say:

"Here it is, J. B., in the clear!"

"Good boy, Finch. Mighty lucky I'm not in that damned rabbit hole!"

"Yes, sir, mighty lucky!"

"Matter of fact, I always seem to have better luck when I go around with you, Finch!"

But this, as we will see, goes almost beyond the level of Company Politics – and approaches a higher one. We will take it up in our next article.

Next month: "how to be a fair-haired boy"

Maintain Strict Neutrality