The Society of Illustrators Show

Playboy Presents

Artists and models have long enjoyed a reputation for riotous living. For years they've been the butt of jokes, cartoons and lively slander, leading envious laymen to wonder if the artistic life is really as rosy as it's painted or if it's all a lot of empty talk. Playboy believes that where there's smoke, there's fire, so when we were invited to attend The Society of Illustrators 48th Annual Show in New York, we anticipated a rather racy shindig. And we weren't disappointed.

The Thumbnail Theatre on 63rd Street was packed with an interesting assortment of artists and their even more interesting models. Before the curtain opened, we struck up an acquaintance with one of the latter, and she told us (a) that there were no professional performers in the show -- all the parts were being played by artists and their models, (b) that the proceeds would go to a very worthy charity, the name of which escapes us now, and (c) that she was free after the show. We just had time to jot down these pertinent facts before the lights dimmed and the curtain parted.

What followed was a wonderful evening of broad satirical sketches, songs, big musical and production numbers, dances, a magic act and girls, girls, girls. The show spoofed everything from movies (a burlesque of On the Waterfront called "Shape Up" in which all the "long-shoremen" were scantily clad females) and television ("You Were There," in which newscaster Harry Marblehead took us to King Pharoah's tomb for some sexy Egyptian doings) to popular songs (a parody on This O1' House sung by three prostitutes) and high fashion (a song to Christian Dior admonishing him for his Flat Look -- "Oh, these curves of ours have beauty, Be they miniature or fruity, And a cutie learns to wield them with a skill. Simply give a girl a sweater, And the things that they will get her, Are better than a wealthy uncle's will.")

Realizing that all of these numbers were prepared and performed by some of the nation's top illustrators added to the enjoyment, of course. And the near nude show girls were the very same models appearing regularly in illustrations for stories, advertisements and covers of magazines like Cosmopolitan, Saturday Evening Post and the Journal.

There was a satirical sketch written by cartoonist Rube Goldberg involving a New York Yankees ball player and his gorgeous blonde movie star wife, titled "Why It Didn't Last."

In a western adventure, titled "Hi Noonan," a sheriff preparing for a gun fight, tells his deputy to take care of his wife in case anything happens to him. "I've already taken care of her this morning," says the deputy. "Frisky little filly, ain't she?" cracks the sheriff. He exits and a shot is fired off stage. The sheriff returns and the deputy asks, "Did you get him?" "Hell, no," says the law man, "I shot my wife."

In an exciting Dutch classic called "Hans On The Brink," a young Hollander discovers a leak in the dike through which water is trickling. The boy thrusts his finger into the hole to "save Holland." A girl passes by and begins enticing the boy by doing a strip. The young lad is torn between making love to the girl and keeping his finger in the dike. The girl puts a stick into the hole, but as the couple embraces, the stick falls out and water again begins pouring from the spot'. The boy finally solves his dilemma by backing his Dutch treat up against the crack, as the lights dim.

In "Rear Window," a man sits at a window with binoculars. He shakes his first at a dog in the yard. "Get out of there, you little bastard, you'll ruin my marijuana bush!" "What are you doing there?" his wife asks, as the man trains his binoculars on an apartment across the way. "I'm doing research for the PTA," he says. "Ha," she scoffs, "you mean the 'Peeping Tom's Association?'" The man proceeds to get worked up over a girl undressing across the way, while (continued overleaf) his wife is peeling behind him.

In a sketch called "Oedipus Sex," a very proper English gentleman calls on a woman of ill repute. He greets her with: "Good evening, Madam." She, from bed: "You've got the wrong room. The madam is three doors down." Gentleman, remaining a respectful distance from the bed: "I was merely addressing you in the formal manner. I have been told by a close friend that here, in these pleasant surroundings, one may find varied sultry and erotic adventures. That here, one may indulge one's libido, may become a pioneer on the frontiers of the flesh. That here, the copulative act is a thing of transcendent beauty. I must say that I am looking forward with pleasurable anticipation to this amorous excursion and . . ." She: "Say, bud, do you wanna get laid or don'tcha?"

We enjoyed all this nonsense immensely and we were both glad and grateful that the Society of Illustrators asked us to drop in. When we weren't scribbling notes and making dates with models, we managed to snap a few pictures, and as you can see, they turned out pretty well.

Our date with the model turned out pretty well, too. Sorry, no pictures.

This Ol' House

This Ol' House once knew its madam

Sixty inches 'round the can.

This Ol' House was home and comfort

To the tired working man.

This Ol' House once rang with laughter

Of the men we used to meet

Now the cops have put the lights out

And we're all dead on our feet.

Ain't gonna need this house no longer,

Ain't gonna need this house no more;

We'll be glad to come and see you

At your house or at your store.

'Cause the law has come a-calling

And we're running out of luck,

Gee, they make it awfully hard for us

To make one lousy buck.

In Rube Goldberg's sketch, "Why It Didn't Last," an unidentified ball player and his lovely movie star bride have their honeymoon night constantly interrupted by fans and press. Above, she poses for photographers.

New York Yankees ball player and his glamorous wife have reserved the bridal suite of a swank hotel for their honeymoon. The baseball star is anxious to be alone, but the bellboy refuses to go until bride autographs a nude calendar picture he has of her; while hubby burns, she waves out the window to fans.

Newspaper men arrive to interview movie queen and she slips out of negligee to pose for photos; husband orders a camera sent to room so he can join picture taking and be near wife.

Above, a Grecian sculptor watches with fascination as statue comes to life in the Illustrators' breezy version of "Pygmalion."

Below, left, an Egyptian beauty reads a document announcing that she is about to become a "mummy" in a take-off on television's "You Are There;"

Below, right, in a burlesque of "On The Waterfront," dock worker Melvin Brandiron discovers he can get no job because the ships are hiring only beautiful women.

In "Rear Window," a husband uses binoculars to watch a girl undressing across the way, while his shapely wife undresses behind his back.

Three of Polly Adler's girls stand before their ramshackle establishment and sing a rowdy red-light parody to the popular novelty song, "This Ol' House."

An American salesman for a nuts and bolts company visits a sultan in his palace and tries to interest the potentate in his product while dancing beauties of all nations perform. At left, a sensual oriental,

Below, an exciting Arabian harem dance and right, a high kicking French cancan.