Is Sex Un-American?

The House Un-American Activities Committee has now polished off the Communist Party and the Ku Klux Klan. It has proved, to its own satisfaction, that overthrowing the Government and beating up people are definitely un-American. Where will it turn next? Where it will turn next is clearly indicated by the California Senate's Committee on Un-American Activities, a bellwether group whose alert work is closely watched by un-American investigators across the land for valuable new trends in exposures, public spectacles and down-to-earth sensationalism. And never has this committee received more mileage in the press than with its report attacking the University of California for condoning, among other things, homosexuality, LSD, the frug, sex, rock-'n'-roll music, smoking marijuana, dirty words and throwing up. This unquestionably points the way.

Indeed, Mr. Ronald Reagan, in his bid for the Republican gubernatorial nomination, constantly cited the report. What he said was that the details were so lascivious that he couldn't possibly bring them out in public. But if elected, he pledged a public investigation--in order, presumably, to bring the details out in public. Needless to say, he was nominated by a landslide, and subsequently elected. So it behooves us all to take a close look at this pioneer work. And while special-interest groups may question the report in certain particulars--"Is a coeducational institution the place for homosexuals?" or "Is frugging the American way?"--let us confine ourselves to the one basic issue this new trend raises that is of grave concern to us all:

Is sex an un-American activity?

By broadening their scope to include sex, investigators of un-American activities are taking a risky leap forward that is bound to arouse widespread controversy. True, it can be argued forcibly that sex is certainly not 100 percent American. It is neither a native art form nor indigenous to our shores. Reports from Communist defectors (see None Dare Call It Dirty) prove conclusively that sex is secretly practiced by the Kremlin puppetmasters, the Red Chinese enslavers and, it is believed, perhaps even by Fidel Castro.

Moreover, studies demonstrate (see Flag Etiquette) that presumably loyal American citizens, when engaged in sexual activities, are definitely in no position to show proper respect for Old Glory nor, in most cases, to remove their hats for our national anthem. In addition, it cannot be denied that over the years sex has sapped the will to resist of countless young American ladies.

Thus, there is a considerable body of evidence to show that sex is an integral part of, if not perhaps the very key to, the Communist master plan for overthrowing us all. One need only envision the forthcoming televised hearings: "Are you now or have you ever been engaged in sexual activities?" No agency of Government will escape unscathed--with the possible exception of the State Department.

On the other hand, as the hastily formed Fair Play for Sex Committee points out, it can be argued equally that sex is in the American mainstream. "While documentary evidence is admittedly (concluded on page 149)Is Sex Un-American?(continued from page 101) lacking," says the Fair Play for Sex Committee in a pamphlet entitled "Stand Up for Sex!," "it is generally held among scholars that sex was widely practiced in private by our very founding fathers themselves, as witness the well-known relationship between our second and sixth Presidents, John Adams and John Quincy Adams.

"True, our founding fathers did not spell out sexual rights in the Constitution, and therefore some purists have argued that under the Tenth Amendment, sexual control must be left to the various states. The Preamble, however, states flatly that one purpose of the Constitution is to 'secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity,' while the Declaration of Independence bluntly urges 'the pursuit of happiness.' There can be little doubt what our vigorous, virile founding fathers had in mind.

"We say, then, that sex is one of our cherished American heritages, handed down like a precious flame from generation to generation for, lo, these 190 years. Will we now snuff it out? Will we now betray our forefathers, who devoted so much of their lives to the unending struggle for sexual freedom? What made this country great? What populated the plains? What pushed Westward the course of empire? Where would our nation be today, the Fair Play for Sex Committee demands to know, without sex?"

So much for the emotional appeals of the right and left wings. It is the responsibility of us levelheaded middle-of-the-roaders to take a hard, logical look at the issue. Let us think not of the past but of the future. Let us reflect on the welfare of children yet unborn. And above all, let us ask ourselves what effect declaring sex un-American will have on our American youth. I, for one, shudder to envision the impact on our high-spirited, impressionable, red-blooded boys and girls of such a decree.

"Hi, there, honey," says Jack Armstrong, sidling up to Priscilla Primm at the next regular meeting of the Never Trust Anybody Over Thirty Club. "How's about a little un-American activities tonight?"

"Another one of your cheap dates," she says with a sniff, "like a march to legalize pot? A sit-in to overthrow the Government? A lie-in to--"

"You're getting warm, baby."

"You don't mean--"

"I'm talking about real up-to-the-minute subversion," says he, glancing nervously over his shoulder for the fuzz.

"Oh, Jack!" she cries, half swooning into his arms. "What defiance of authority! What symbolic rebellion against the enervating forces of hypocritical establishmentarianism! Oh, I've never even kissed a boy before, Jack, but you make it sound so thrilling."

So anyone who knows the hearts and the minds of our young hopes-for-the-future can see at once the insidious threat inherent in declaring sex subversive: a population explosion, or further enrichment of those predatory drug monopolists, the makers of The Pill--or both!

Thus, let us moderates take a cautious stand, as usual, on the middle ground. Let us once again ignore the thunder from the left and the right and take the compromising position that sex is neither American nor un-American, but rather belongs in that gray category that includes dandruff shampooing, lawn bowling, aphid spraying and changing flat tires--its prime distinction being that it's more fun.

And with this in mind, let us urge the Committee in this hour of peril to turn its attention to those activities that are less controversial, more universally decried, more clearly un-American and more in keeping with the spirit of its investigations. Like throwing up.