Just the Two of You

If Lying on a beautiful beach with the right woman is all the adventure you're looking for, worry not. Suddenly, couples' resorts are the hottest thing going. Of late, oases à deux, enclaves where romantic sun worshipers are provided with surroundings calculated to inspire sighs and serenity, are popping up all over the Caribbean.

Jamaica, with its political problems aside, is about to become the next hot spot for romance-minded vacationers. An elite handful of couples-mostly resorts are widely scattered on the lush island. Their tone varies considerably--from frantic activity (complete with uninterrupted rock and reggae) to less driven hideaways where the swaying of hammocks provides the loudest midday noise.

At the frantic end of the twosome spectrum is Hedonism II, set on Negril, an almost perfect crescent of white beach front. This is a place where toga nights and pajama parties (wear whatever you normally wear to bed) are disco staples. Upbeat music seems ever in the background. Sitting outside Hedonism's boundaries one day at noon, we heard the rock beat begin on the other side of the fence. When we asked the waiter how long the music normally lasted, he replied, "Forever, mon."

Although Hedonism itself is a relatively recent development on the Jamaica resort scene, its precursors go back to the mid-Sixties, when Negril--in the northwestern corner of Jamaica (the point nearest the U.S. mainland)--became one of the prime dropout capitals on the planet. The easy availability of great gobs of strong smoke--the local ganja is worldrenowned--brought hordes of hippies to this part of the island to literally live in the trees, lie on the beach and stay high for as long as metabolism allowed.

Those not-so-innocents of the late Sixties and early Seventies have now largely been displaced by rising real-estate values--though the ganja supply seems undiminished. A friend who recently visited Negril told of a span of no more than 30 minutes during which he was offered not only a planeload of grass for Stateside resale but a plane in which to get that stash safely out of the Caribbean.

On a less larcenous level, the appeal of Hedonism II includes the Club Med-originated one-price-covers-everything concept that makes pocket money--and even pockets--superfluous. Hedonism II goes Club Med one better: Drinks are included in the single basic price of the holiday. Also included are accommodations, all food, tips, entertainment, sports activities, athletic instruction and even cigarettes.

Hedonism II offers half a dozen tennis courts, all manner of water sports, plus competitive diversions that range from basketball to backgammon. Critics complain that the pace is a little unrelenting and relaxation difficult; fans point to the same characteristic and say that's why they come back again and again. Prices vary seasonally.

Hedonism II, P.O. Box 25, Negril, Jamaica; 809-957-4200.

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When it opened in early 1978, Couples was the hands-down winner of the most-suggestive-resort-brochure-published-any-where award. The lions copulating on the cover left little doubt about what was supposed to be the main activity here in the Saint Mary area (near Ocho Rios), and the initials B.Y.O.P. have always stood for Bring Your Own Partner. Once again, a single price covers all accommodations, meals and activities, and the premises are reserved for couples. Rates are quoted for tandems only; no singles or children are ever tolerated.

The ambience here is considerably more elegant--and less purposefully frantic--than at Hedonism II. Grown-up adults will not feel that they have entered some narcissistic nether world. The operation is nonetheless informal, and although there's an unmistakably suggestive cast, it seldom gets oppressive.

Couples, P.O. Box 330, Ocho Rios, Jamaica; 809-974-4271.

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Speaking of adults, perhaps the outstanding address for grownups in tandem on Jamaica is Sandals, set on a tempting stretch of white-sand beach on Montego Bay. It's an elegant and amorous spot.

Particularly good marks are earned by the room decor and by the attentive staff. According to local scuttlebutt, the quality of the resident workers is a by-product of the special knowledge of Sandals' Jamaican owner, Gordon "Butch" Stewart, who apparently has a talent for attracting the best workers on the island.

Unlike most of the other couples-only, one-price-covers-everything resorts, Sandals does not serve its meals family style. Couples have the option of eating alone or joining others. Breakfast and lunch are generous buffets; dinner is strictly à la carte; and in addition to three more-than-ample meals, a help-yourself juice bar is always open in the TV room and soup, hamburgers, fresh-cut coconut, pineapple, watermelon and papaya are served all day on the beach.

The guests at Sandals come in all shapes and sizes, from young and beautiful to mellow and more mature. All seem to get along famously. Rates run from about $1900 to $2200 per week.

If there's any negative aspect to the Sandals experience, it's the resort's proximity to the Montego Bay airport. But most guests become easily accustomed to it.

Sandals, P.O. Box 100, Montego Bay, Jamaica; 809-952-5510.

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Farther down the north shore of Jamaica, at Runaway Bay, is Jamaica, Jamaica, which adds some interesting gimmicks to the standard couples-in paradise scene. The single-price tariff covers accommodations, activities, entertainment and some shopping shuttles, but not drinks. Drinks are paid for with "tallies," a return to the form of legal tender accepted on the island more than a century ago. (Harry Belafonte sang about that practice: Remember "Come, Mr. Tally Man, tally me banana"?)

In addition to all the expected water sports and indoor games, Jamaica, Jamaica offers some passes at cricket and soccer, and the (concluded on page 158)The Two of You(continued from page 152) welcoming bundle of guest gifts includes something called the Essentials Kit & Caboodle, which immediately establishes the informal local orientation. Picturesque Dunn's River Falls is quite close by, and there's somewhat less of a tendency to stay anchored on the hotel premises. Food is included in the package price, and there are some genuinely interesting foods native to Jamaica. This is a perfect place to sample ackee and salt codfish, calalu, johnnycakes, pepper shrimp and bammies, curried goat, cassava, conch and pepper pot. Only adults over the age of 16 need apply; guests are accepted for a minimum stay of three nights.

Jamaica, Jamaica, P.O. Box 58, Runaway Bay, Jamaica; 809-973-2436.

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Just down the road in Ocho Rios is Eden II, another all-inclusive couples' resort. Golf, tennis, all water sports, horseback-trail riding 2000 feet above sea level, plus a Nautilus gym and a hot tub, head the activities list. A nude beach is also part of the inventory. As many as six meals a day are included in the price, as are wine, bar drinks, beer, cigarettes and cigars. There's no tipping, and children, singles, triples and conventions are proscribed.

Eden II, Ocho Rios, Jamaica; 800-228-3278.

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Among the half-dozen Jamaican couples-predominate resorts, the closest to Montego Bay is the new Jack Tar Village II. Jack Tar sells its sun-drenched facilities in one- and two-week packages, and all meals, wine, drinks, sports, evening entertainment, tax and tips are included. Although Montego Bay is hardly the largest sight-seeing lure in the world, it does provide an offbeat, almost urban distraction or two if you feel like leaving the beach for a bit. More important, Jack Tar's location eliminates the need for any not entirely pleasant rides on Jamaica's woeful roads from airport to resort room.

Jack Tar Village II, P.O. Box 144, Montego Bay, Jamaica; 809-952-4340.

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Lest it seem as though Jamaica has an exclusive island franchise on couples' resorts, Paradise Island boasts its own doubles center. Named Paradise, Paradise (catchy, isn't it?), this newest addition to the would-be-erotics group began operation just this past winter at the Paradise Beach Inn, on Paradise Beach. Not quite so isolated as most of its Jamaican counterparts, Paradise, Paradise offers access to the large local casino and a host of restaurants and related diversions. The price was $47.50 per person per day during the past winter season, with an average array of meals (Continental breakfast only) and no booze included in the "inclusive" tariff, though most sports activities are covered.

Paradise, Paradise, c/o Resorts International (Bahamas), Ltd., 915 N.E. 125th Street, North Miami, Florida 33161; 800-321-3000.

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Then there's the new Couples on Malabar Beach, near Castries, on the eastern Caribbean island of St. Lucia. Of the places that promise paired paradise, we think St. Lucia is likely to come far closer to delivering than either Jamaica or Paradise Island. St. Lucia is one of those pleasantly primitive places that have somehow managed to resist most of the "improvements" developers usually introduce to destroy an otherwise idyllic atoll. Couples is for couples only. The opportunities for exploration around the island are infinite, though you'll be hard pressed to pull yourself off the beach. Accommodations, food, wine, drinks, activities, entertainment, sight-seeing and all sorts of other stuff are included. No tipping, either.

Couples Malabar, P.O. Box 190, Castries, St. Lucia; 809-45-24211.

On Your Own

Of course, not all romantic retreats need be made in pairs. Sometimes the best pairings take place after your bags are unpacked. That's often the way at Club Med. Although there are more than 100 of them around the world now, not all Club Meds are created equal. If you're looking purely for the hottest of the new ones, then head to the Turks and Caicos Islands, to the club called Turkoise. Set on the lonely island of Providenciales in the island group that links the southernmost Bahamas with the northern coast of Hispaniola, the facilities here cater to the pressured executive. In addition to the usual outdoor beach and bar activities, there's a good supply of fitness equipment to be used to the accompaniment of live chamber music.

But that's the thing about Club Meds these days, especially the ones in the Western Hemisphere. Each seems to have a distinct personality, not always consistent with the old swinging-single image that gave the one-price-covers-all enclaves their flying start. Now, to be a knowledgeable traveler, you need a briefing for each club. We'll give you a head start. In addition to Turkoise, there are nine clubs currently operating (or about to open) off the southeastern coast of the U.S., stretching down to the Caribbean. Here's what and who you're likely to find at these outposts.

Bermuda (St. George's Cove): Occupies the hilltop property (at the eastern end of the island) that was formerly the Loews Bermuda Beach Hotel and a Holiday Inn before that. A computer workshop is part of the facilities, which will ultimately include an 18-hole golf course--a Club Med first. This figures to be by far the "straightest" of all Club Meds.

Martinique (Buccaneer's Creek): The property that, almost singlehandedly, maintains Club Med's image as a magnet for action-seeking singles. It's at the southeasternmost corner of this French-flavored island, the beaches here are by far the best and the spirit is mostly nonstop party.

Haiti (Magic Isle): Perhaps the least successful of Club Med's Western Hemisphere properties, with the least definable personality--probably because Haiti is an island nation that's having more than its share of problems. The best value for the money among the Caribbean enclaves; the smallest crowds.

Dominican Republic (Punta Cana): At the remote easternmost end of the island of Hispaniola, far more appealing after the opening of a new airport only minutes away. A computer workshop is the surprising hit of these palm-fringed premises.

Cancun, Mexico (Cancun): The most modern Club Med campus in the western Caribbean, with spectacular scuba diving and snorkeling. The beach here is truly world class, and the opportunities to visit Mayan ruins on the mainland is a significant plus. A somewhat saner singles crowd than Buccaneer's Creek's dominates an altogether first-rate resort.

Guadeloupe (Caravelle): The main building is the remainder of the old hotel that gave this club its name, and the town of Sainte Anne is among the prettiest places on the southeastern coast. Singles and couples seem to inhabit the beach chaises in almost equal numbers.

Guadeloupe (Fort Royal): Club Med's primary family enclave in the Caribbean. A Mini-Club caters to kids from nine A.M. to nine P.M. and lets parents have as much (or as little) time to themselves as they want. Singles are scarce.

Bahamas (Eleuthera): Another Mini-Club setup, with special facilities for children aged three to 12. Scuba programs for divers of all levels are a special lure, especially with easy access to the black-coral Exuma Wall and the bottomless blue holes. Not a very swinging scene.

Bahamas (Paradise Island): An atypically close-to-civilization enclave with equally atypical easy access to Paradise Island casinos and Nassau shopping. Tennis is king here (20 courts), and the proximity to town and traffic makes life different from that in most other isolated clubs. Perhaps the greatest variety of activity and atmosphere is offered here.