20 Questions: Jim McMahon

Number nine came by his goof ball rep honestly--wearing wrap-around shades and a Mohawk, hanging from a 25th-floor balcony in Hawaii, inventing Rozelle sportswear as a way to flip the bird to the N.F.L. commissioner--but Chicago Bears quarterback Jim McMahon is not a cartoon character. He's just a spontaneous guy.

The ever-present sunglasses hide a right eye that can't adjust to light. He stuck a fork in it when he was six. The Mohawk was teammate Willie Gault's attempt to salvage a self-service trim the quarterback had botched. His balcony-hanging days are over; that Spider Jim act left McMahon with a mild case of acrophobia. And the Rozelle headband was simple civil disobedience--a shot in the eye for a shot in the eye.

The gonzo Q.B. is a solid, suburban family man with a fierce drive to win and an unusual love for the fun in football. He's a flea flicker in a league full of draw plays, Huck Finn in pads and a helmet. Kevin Cook huddled with him during Chicago's Super Bowl season in a Bears locker room dominated by a banner reading, Either be a Leader, be a Follower or get the hell out of the way. Soon after they settled in, Bears guard Kurt Becker, McMahon's road roomy, butted in.

Becker: Can I ask him a question? Jim, what do you and your roommate do the night before a game?

Becker and McMahon: Jack Off!

Mc Mahon: Don't write that.

Becker:I got you! I knocked your number nine.

1.

[Q] Playboy: When did you and Becker start butting helmets after touchdowns?

[A] McMahon: Walter Payton scored on a run, and Becker was the guy pulling around to let him in. Kurt stuck his arms up. I stuck mine up. We slapped hands, looked each other in the eye and just butted heads. From then on, that's what we did after a score. It got to the point where we'd talk about it the night before a game: "I'm gonna knock your fuckin' ass out tomorrow." "No, I'm gonna knock you out." Some of those hits hurt--he's got a lot of power, a big man like that. But after a score, you're all pumped up. You've got to do something. Finally, the coaches told Becker to stay away from me.

2.

[Q] Playboy: Tell us something we don't know about Payton.

[A] McMahon: He's the biggest jokester on the team. He'll walk out the door and throw cherry bombs back into the room. Or we'll be sitting in a meeting and he'll be real quiet, watching films, and then he'll scream, just yell at the top of his lungs. Scares the shit out of everybody.

3.

[Q] Playboy: What happens during a game that the fans can't see?

[A] McMahon: Stuff goes on at the bottom of a pile-up [fakes punches]--guys will be giving you one or two. Grabbing your nuts. You get a lot of shit at the bottom of a pile. And spit--a lot of spit.

There're some sick people on this team. I ran a quarterback sneak one game, and Becker was the right guard. He was just lying there. So I said, "I'm gonna shove this ball up your ass, Beck." He said, "Fuck you," and the ref was going, "Hey, you're on the same team." Becker said, "Fuck him, he hasn't done nothing all day." I don't know what the other teams think of us. Three years ago, we were down in Tampa Bay. The play was over and I was walking back to the huddle. All of a sudden, boom! Becker clubbed me in the side of the head. I said, "You son of a bitch" and kicked him right in the ass. The Tampa Bay guys were just looking at us--"What the fuck? You guys are on the same team."

4.

[Q] Playboy: Why do you spit on your own guys?

[A] McMahon: We enjoy it. They spit on me, I yell at them and spit back. It's a good time.

5.

[Q] Playboy: You suffered a lacerated kidney in a game with the Raiders. What colors do you get in the toilet bowl after something like that?

[A] McMahon: Purple. You don't want one of those. I've blown my knee and hurt my shoulder, but nothing felt like that. Straightened me up. The guy hit me from behind, turned me around, and another guy hit me in the side. After it happened, I got up and threw an interception. At half time, I couldn't sit down. I thought I'd just bruised something, but the pain was getting worse. I tried to play the second half but couldn't even call the play in the huddle. Finally, I took myself out of the game, sat on the bench for about five minutes. By then, I was cramping up, bending over. So I went to the locker room and tried to piss. Nothing but blood. I freaked out: "Hey, get my ass to a hospital!" But then I thought, Well, shit, if I don't shower now, I won't shower for a week. It took me an hour to take a shower; then they got me to a hospital. That thing was torn in two places, and the bottom piece of it was torn off. I don't know why it didn't just erupt.

6.

[Q] Playboy: It takes about two and a half or three seconds for you to get off a play. How long does that seem?

[A] McMahon: One second. I get the ball from center, drop back, take a quick peek at my blind side. Then I'll go back to looking at the field.

If it's a basic pass play, you have an idea who you want to throw to when you call the play. Once you get to the line of scrimmage and see what kind of defense they're playing, you know if this is a good play for that defense. That's a presnap read. On your first or second step back, you're finding out if what you saw before is actually what they're playing. A lot of teams try to disguise it, so you're watching the secondary to see if they tried to fool you.

Certain defensive backs will tip off the blitz. If they're going to blitz you, somebody has to be responsible for the guy who's blitzing. Somebody else has to pick up his receiver. And a lot of times, defensive backs will take a look at the guy they've got to cover. There was a perfect case in a game in Washington. I knew the strong safety was coming. When I went up to the line, I was looking at the weak safety, and he was looking at the tight end. So I switched my attention to the strong safety, who's supposed to cover the tight end, and he was jockeying back and forth. I knew right then that he was pulling my chain, trying to jerk me off. I knew he was coming. So I called an audible and we got a touchdown. Our receiver asked me after the play how I knew they were blitzing. I said, "Well, shit, I saw his eyes."

You can pick those things up. The more you do it, the easier it gets; but you've got to see everything that's going on out there.

7.

[Q] Playboy: You were known as a wild man at Brigham Young University. What's a wild night there, and what's the strangest rule?

[A] McMahon: For most people? A wild night is cake and ice cream. That's the mystique about Brigham Young. Everybody's got to live a certain way, and it's tough. Some guys can't handle it, and they leave. I almost left. But I knew that if I stuck around there, I'd be where I am today. I'd go through all the bullshit just to learn what I learned--not only about football but about life in different places. It's not a bed of roses. As for the rules, they're all strange. The one I thought was interesting was that every other Sunday, girls could come into your room and you could go into their rooms. But you had to leave the doors open and keep one foot on the floor at all times. I thought, Shit, that's kind of weird. You can get pretty kinky with one foot on the floor.

8.

[Q] Playboy: In the 1980 Holiday Bowl against SMU, your BYU Cougars were behind by 20 with four minutes left. You wound up winning 46-45. Have stranger things happened?

[A] McMahon: I had a terrible first half or it would never have come down to the last four minutes. In the second half, I started playing the way I had played all year. I wasn't forcing balls, just taking what they gave me. Most of the fans had left, but the clock was still running. We were driving. We got stalled about the 50 and the coach [LaVell Edwards] sent the punting team on. It was fourth and two--at that point in the game, if you punt the ball, you lose. So I told the guys to huddle up. But the punting team came on. I told them to get the fuck off the field. LaVell started yelling for me to come off, and I wouldn't do it. So we called time out and had a few words. Basically, I said, "You're giving up. Why don't you just throw in the towel right now?" The coordinator looked at him and he looked at the coordinator, and he said, "Go on, call the play."

We made the first down. Went down to score and got an on-side kick. Scored again. Stopped them and blocked the punt. I told the guys in the huddle, "Look, we've come this far. Somebody catch this son of a bitch." I took a deep drop and threw it as far as I could. And Clay Brown made one of the greatest catches I've ever seen. Clay went up and caught the ball with five guys around him. No flag. We went kind of crazy.

9.

[Q] Playboy: Do you remember every touchdown pass?

[A] McMahon: No, I remember interceptions. I'd rather get hurt than throw one. Most of the time, it's stupid judgment on my part. You have a guy open and you throw the ball to the defense. I remember playing baseball--I've got two strikes on me and I see the ball coming right down the middle. I know it's a strike, and I fucking don't swing. Vapor lock. That really irritates me. If a guy makes a great play, that's one thing. But not too many of my interceptions have been on great plays.

10.

[Q] Playboy: You carry an expensive briefcase. What's in it?

[A] McMahon: My wife bought that for me for my birthday. She said I had to start acting and dressing like a businessman. I said, "Why? I don't plan on working." All I have in it is my lunch. Sometimes I'll take my playbook home. Other than that, it's just messages and lunch--a couple of sandwiches, vegetable, chips, cookies, candy bar. Well-balanced meals. My wife's a good cook. She takes care of me.

11.

[Q] Playboy: What's the McMahon method for drinking beer?

[A] McMahon: Just enjoy it. I was weaned on Coors, but it doesn't matter, as long as it's cold. Nothing tastes better after a win than three or four or five cold ones.

12.

[Q] Playboy: Coach Mike Ditka said of you, "He shocks the shit out of me sometimes." Give us an example from a game.

[A] McMahon: In my rookie year, I made an audible that wasn't in the game plan. We were gonna run a sweep to Payton, but their whole defense was shifted to the side we wanted to run on. All they had on the weak side was a defensive end and a linebacker. So I audibled a weak-side run to the fullback: "Two, thirty-four," or something. And Noah Jackson, who was our left guard at the time, said, "Thirty-four? What the hell is thirty-four?" I said, "We're gonna run right at you. Block somebody." And the defense was listening. They were looking around like we were trying to mess with their heads.

So we ran the play. The guard and tackle took care of the end and the linebacker. Wally led Matt Suhey through the hole, nine yards for a first down. After that, Mike said, "Do you have any more surprises for me today?" I said, "Make sure you're alert. I could call anything."

13.

[Q] Playboy: Do you study on game day?

[A] McMahon: No. If you don't know the game plan by Sunday, you're in trouble. I like to relax before the game. I read Playboy.

14.

[Q] Playboy: You're in the pocket and it's starting to break down. How do you sense that? You don't have eyes in the back of your helmet.

[A] McMahon: The thing most quarterbacks fear is the blind side. That's the one thing that can really hurt you--whiplash and everything else. But ever since I can remember, I could feel what was going on. I can't explain it. I can sense a guy coming from my blind side and spin out on him, the way Fran Tarkenton used to do all the time. The more you do it, the easier it gets to feel the rush.

15.

[Q] Playboy: Football players are supposed to be dumb. How dumb are they?

[A] McMahon: Football players have a bad rap. There are guys who really don't have a lot of smarts as far as the outside world goes. You can be very football smart and still be an idiot. But then you can be a brain and have no football smarts. We've got a lot of great athletes who have good football sense on this team. That's why we're good.

16.

[Q] Playboy: When you watch Monday Night Football, what do you look at that the rest of us don't?

[A] McMahon: Depends on who's playing. If it's a team we've got coming up, I like to watch what they're doing on defense. Try to pick up something. All you can see is the linebacker on some of those side-line shots, but you try to pick something up. You try to get an idea of what they'll do in certain situations. But then, during the week, you're gonna watch the film, anyway. Also, you look for guys you know--see how they're doing.

17.

[Q] Playboy: Care to give us a few words about your competition--Joe Montana, Dan Marino, Dan Fouts, John Elway?

[A] McMahon: Montana's proved to be one of the best quarterbacks who ever played the game. Very innovative. I think the 49ers have a great system, offensively. They use their guys a number of ways. They figure they've got a great offense, but he makes it work. He's a hell of a player.

Marino's got a rocket and he's getting better. As far as reading coverages goes--sometimes you wonder. But it seems their guys always come up with the ball.

I asked Cliff Thrift, who played with Fouts in San Diego, if Fouts ever lifted weights or anything. Cliff said, "If you ever saw his body--he's got the worst body." But he's got tremendous ability. I'd love to play in that offense. It's very similar to the offense I played in college. They talk about its being complicated. Well, it's not. You send five guys out, one of them is going to be open. And if you're smart enough, like Dan is, to read the defense and know who to go to in a hurry, you get a lot of yards.

Elway's been playing good football. His stats aren't overwhelmingly great, but he's winning. That's how I like to judge Q.B.s. Say I was with San Diego. You can't tell how many yards I could throw. Or say Marino was with Atlanta. It's tough to picture guys with different teams. It's tough to judge guys on statistics. I like to judge them on wins and losses. People remember the guys who win the big ones.

18.

[Q] Playboy: Your thoughts on place kickers?

[A] McMahon: All the ones I ever ran into were weird, kind of in their own little world all the time. Most kickers aren't great athletes. Except, I think, for Rafael Septien and our guy, Kevin Butler. The Bears made a good choice when they kept Kevin. Butthead's a hell of a kicker and a good guy. Nothing really fazes him. He likes to have a good time, a few drinks. Gotta have people like that.

19.

[Q] Playboy: Did BYU offer you anything to play football there?

[A] McMahon: Not a thing. There were offers, but not from BYU. I know what went on at other schools, because I had friends at other schools. Some guys take a pay cut when they come to this league. If I'd gone to this one school, I could have been a rich man by the time I left. All the extras--not just the cash but different odd jobs. They'll pay you good money.

20.

[Q] Playboy: What are your hair-styling plans? Will we see the Mohawk again?

[A] McMahon: Not unless I want a divorce.