The Playboy Interview 30th Anniversary

It was 1962, and Hugh Hefner was thinking of a new feature for his eight-year-old Playboy magazine. Sifting through unpublished material, editors obliged with a partial manuscript in which a fledgling journalist named Alex Haley had interviewed jazz trumpeter Miles Davis. The musician spoke less of blue notes than of discord between blacks and whites, and Hef found his words compelling. Haley was dispatched to question Davis further, and when the completed interview appeared in September 1962, it launched what would become an institution: the Playboy Interview. In the ensuing three decades, we have published "candid conversations" with more than 300 notable personalities--box office stars and batting champs, heads of state and assassins, scholars and scoundrels. Eminent journalists who have conducted them include Nat Hentoff, Kenneth Tynan, Tom Wicker, Alvin Toffler and Mike Wallace, In honor of this 30th anniversary, we've culled quotes from our archives--odd zingers, revelations and, on occasion, pretty lousy predictions.

I am What I am...

"I'm a nymphomaniac of the heart."--Gabriel Garcia Márquez, February 1983

"I am a spy of life."--Lech Walesa, February 1982

"I am a mass of contradictions."--Barbra Streisand, October 1977

"I am a mass of contradictions."--Richard Burton, September 1963

"I'm not homosexual."--Edward Koch, April 1982

"I'm not a Japan basher."--Lee Iacocca, January 1991

"I'm a megalomaniac."--Roman Polanski, December 1971

I'm a genetic mutant."--Dan Aykroyd, May 1977

"I'm naturally throbbing."--Woody Allen, May 1967

Parallel Lives

"I discovered masturbation to orgasm when I was about 13, and I was sure nobody else had ever done it."--Erica Jong, September 1975

"I had a patent on masturbation when I was 12. I thought I invented it."--Roman Polanski, December 1971

"I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged."--Jackie Gleason, December 1962

"I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniel's."--Frank Sinatra, February 1963

"When I was in junior high school, the teachers voted me the student most likely to end up in the electric chair."--Sylvester Stallone, September 1978

"Most of the class clowns in my high school are doing time now."--David Letterman, October 1984

"Leona Helmsley is a truly evil human being."--Donald Trump, March 1990

"Donald Trump is a snake."--Leona Helmsley, November 1990

Good Call

"The Soviet Union is going to have a human-rights explosion. You'll have hundreds of thousands of dissidents."--Andrew Young, July 1977

"I don't believe in leaving anything to be inherited."--Robert Maxwell, October 1991

"If we burn ourselves out with drugs or alcohol, we won't have long to go in this business."--John Belushi, May 1977

"Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can--and will."--Johnny Carson, December 1967

Bad Call

"I don't need bodyguards."--Jimmy Hoffa, December 1975

"The human race may well become extinct before the end of the century."--Bertrand Russell, March 1963

"I'm not apt to be getting married in the near future and my lifestyle isn't apt to dramatically change as a result of any new relationship."--Hugh Hefner, January 1974

"I'll always stay connected with Apple."--Steven Jobs, February 1985

"We are eliminating poverty in this country faster than any society ever."--William F. Buckley, Jr., May 1970

"I really do plan to get out of show business within five years or so."--Bill Cosby, May 1969

"No national political party is going to nominate another right-wing candidate for a long time."--Arthur Schlesinger, Jr., May 1966

"I believe that all of us ought to retire relatively young."--Fidel Castro, January 1967

"After all these investigations, that's exactly what they're going to find out: This is a great department."--Daryl Gates, August 1991

"Racism, pollution and the rest of it are themselves very close to extinction."--R. Buckminster Fuller, February 1972

Lust and Beyond

"When I was 16 years old, I fucked Warren Beatty. Just like that. I did it because my girlfriends were so crazy about him, and so was my mother."--Cher, December 1988

"The great American formula for sex is: a kiss on the lips, a hand on the breasts and a dive for the pelvis."--Dr. William Masters, November 1979

"My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live."--Erica Jong, September 1975

"I've never been to an orgy, honestly. If I was invited to one, I'd be the guy they sent out for cold cuts."--Woody Allen, May 1967

"Giving head to your woman is dangerous because it gives the Devil introduction into the vagina."--Norman Mailer, January 1968

"There's an unfortunate obsession in this country with mammary glands. No matter how fantastic a girl's breasts are, if that's all she's got, they just hang there like two worthless tits."--Raquel Welch, January 1970

"A man has a sense of detachment from his penis. He walks around with a stranger in his pants."--Gay Talese, May 1980

"I have nothing against homosexuals. You should fuck whoever the fuck you feel like fucking."--Eddie Murphy, February 1990

"The censors say they're protecting the family unit in America, when the reality is, if you suck a tit, you're an X, but if you cut it off with a sword, you're a PG."--Jack Nicholson, April 1972

"I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times."--Jimmy Carter, November 1976

"A young man called and said, 'Dr. Ruth, my girlfriend and I love each other very much. We want to get married.' I said, 'Good. What's your problem?' He said, 'My girlfriend likes to toss fried onion rings on my erect penis.'"--Dr. Ruth Westheimer, January 1986

"I'm sort of hot-blooded. That doesn't mean necessarily I'm promiscuous. It means I really enjoy sex."--John Travolta, December 1978

Black and White

"I'm not colorless--I'm black. It's not something I consciously think about. It just is. It's like having a dick. You don't think about having a dick. You just have one."--Whoopi Goldberg, June 1987

"I've never met a black nigger--so black he looks purple--that can talk and think. All the really black niggers are Uncle Toms or revolutionists, or they want to loaf, loot and rape."--George Lincoln Rockwell, April 1966

"I've never seen black men with fine white women. They be ugly. Mugly, dogs. And you always see white men with good-looking black women."--Spike Lee, July 1991

"I don't feel guilty that five or ten generations ago these people were slaves. Now, I'm not condoning slavery. It's just a fact of life."--John Wayne, May 1971

"Christ wasn't white. Christ was black."--Malcolm X, May 1963

"My fondest hope is that Roots may start black, white, brown, red, yellow people digging back for their own roots. Man, that would make me feel 90 feet tall."--Alex Haley, January 1977

"Whites in this country have reacted to the demands of blacks only after disorder. Until Watts blew up, Los Angeles was not prepared to do much about it."--William Sloane Coffin, August 1968

"Our white brothers must be made to understand that nonviolence is a weapon fabricated of love. It is a sword that heals."--Martin Luther King, Jr., January 1965

Holier Than Thou

"When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday--cash me out."--Frank Sinatra, February 1963

"I love gentiles. In fact, one of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting."--Mel Brooks, October 1966

"At the moment of climax, there is a oneness with you and your husband and God. When you come together, it's like when the church is brought up to meet Christ in the air."--Anita Bryant, May 1978

"God is good when He gives us a grilled steak."--Anthony Burgess, September 1974

"Remember, Jesus was on Eighth Avenue with the prostitutes. He wasn't uptown or in Washington, D.C."--Martin Scorsese, April 1991

"I found Christ. I had a revelation while I was watching Monday Night Football."--Terry Bradshaw, March 1980

Know Thyself

"Look, man, all I am is a trumpet player."--Miles Davis, September 1962

"Ain't never been another fighter like me. Ain't never been no nothing like me."--Cassius Clay, October 1964

"I'm sure if somebody were pointing a gun at me and I were standing there with a six-pack, I'd say, 'Care for one?'"--Clint Eastwood, February 1974

"Are there any writers on the literary scene whom I consider truly great? Yes: Truman Capote."--Truman Capote, March 1968

"How long can you be cute?"--Goldie Hawn, January 1985

"If I were courageous, I would have killed Qaddafi when I interviewed him."--Oriana Fallaci, November 1981

"I'm a very oral person. I like licking a lot. I also like barking."--Erica Jong, September 1975

"I must admit, it would be nice if I had a few more exciting personal qualities than I do."--George Mcgovern, August 1971

"Not one man has ever told me I'm beautiful--in my entire life. I think that's what's made me the aggressive wreck I am today."--Joan Rivers, November 1986

Who Knew?

"I'd like to be a song and dance man."--Walter Cronkite, June 1973

"I've always wanted to be Brigitte Bardot."--Bob Dylan, March 1966

Affairs of State

"Sometimes even powerlessness has a power of its own. Who is it who took India? Some guy in his underwear."--Jerry Brown, April 1976

"Big nations are like chickens. They like to make big noises, but very often it is no more than squabbling."--Dr. Albert Schweitzer, December 1963

"The popular view of Eisenhower among educated Eastern people was that he was a boob."--Pat Moynihan, March 1977

"Ford is a fucking bimbo. Even in that famous picture of him making his own breakfast, he was marmalading the wrong side of his English muffin."--Abbie Hoffman, May 1976

"This country has been strip-mined by rich and powerful interests. If you don't like what they're doing, don't just sit there. Vote them out."--Ralph Nader, June 1992

"Bush is into the Contra business up to his eyeballs."--Gore Vidal, December 1987

Exit Lines

"Death comes along like a gas bill one can't pay."--Anthony Burgess, September 1974

"If I die tonight and you wake up tomorrow, don't send flowers. Don't come around with your tears. Picket. Go to PTA meetings. Fight for higher wages. Make the most of it."--Jesse Jackson, November 1969

"I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap."--Billy Crystal, March 1988

"I shall never cease to be sensual--even on my deathbed. If the doctor is young and handsome, I shall draw him into my arms."--Tennessee Williams, April 1973

Words of Wisdom

"The most repulsive thing you could ever imagine is the inside of a camel's mouth. That and watching a girl eat octopus or squid."--Marlon Brando, January 1979

"I know that if you leave dishes in the sink, they get sticky and hard to wash the next day."--Arnold Schwarzenegger, January 1988

"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."--Robin Williams, January 1992