The Year in Sex

Tabloid Trash-o-matic Claims Victims: The Jock, His Lady, His Ex, Her Waiter, The Orphans, Their Parents, The Skater, The Singer, His Boy Toys & His Blue Suede Bride

Off the presses and on the tube, tabloid journalism went over the top in 1994. No potential scandal was off-limits--and if there was a sex angle to be found, even better. (Our own contribution: a pictorial of O.J. Simpson's girlfriend, Paula Barbieri, left.) The journalistic food chain flipped as the mainstream media began feeding off the late-breaking stories. New York magazine summed it up with a collage of Jacko headlines (above right), while everyone from political cartoonists to overnight publishers grabbed a piece of the action. Even parental abuse, in the Erik and Lyle Menendez case (lower left), made headlines, while America's favorite bad girl, Tonya Harding, popped up in an X-rated honeymoon video, proving it was much more fun watching her screw up triple axels.

Wait Till You See The Director's Cut

Love him or hate him, recovering penis-amputee John Wayne Bobbitt was the prurient-headline champ in 1994, whether laughing at a repro of his severed schlong (inset), reeling from battery charges by ex-fiancée Kristina Elliott (below) or letting it all hang out in a porn film.

Sex, Drugs, Dissing Dad

In C'mon, Get Happy... Fear and Loathing on the Partridge Family Bus, David Cassidy admits to dope and groupies and writes that his dad, Jack, had sex with Cole Porter. Hmmm ... I Get a Dick Out of You?

Drop That Book!

A beached Christie Brinkley led the pack of covered-up cover girls (and guys). She also announced her divorce from Billy Joel and her engagement to Aspen tycoon Ricky Taubman. She fell for him when their chopper crashed.

Lights! Camera! Orgasm!

Strapping a tiny camera onto his penis, Brit Tony Duffield made love to wife Wendy thrice daily for three weeks, while BBC videocams whirred. The couple's $18,000 stint will air here on the Learning Channel on Super Bowl Sunday.

Busted!

When gab-show blabber Vicki Lawrence flashed plastic boobs at guest Sally Kirkland, 22 stations refused to carry the show. "I'm flattered," Lawrence announced. "Mine haven't been this far north since I was 20."

Ali... Oops!

Showbiz bio Steve McQueen, Portrait of an American Hero and Robert Evans' memoir, The Kid Stays in the Picture, talk of drug use and mutual wife Ali MacGraw.

Drop That Phone!

Princess Di faced charges of making crank calls and having a five-year affair with her equestrian teacher. Meanwhile, one German photog caught her estranged hubby bare--royal scepter and all.

This Pool Sucks

Paramedics responding to a call at a Florida motel pool found a man with pants down and swollen penis stuck in a suction hole. Rescue took 40 minutes.

The Schlong You Save May Be Your Own

Tel Aviv ad agency head Zeev Lichtenzon's one-man campaign against bad drivers apparently hit local men where they schtup: The city yanked the posters.

Which One Of You Bitches Swiped My Aftershave?

Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo vamp in To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar; new ads for Miss Vera's Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls; a pumped-up Carl Lewis in a Pirelli ad deemed "too controversial" for the U.S.; Just Like a Woman's Julie Walters, flanked by the two sides of Adrian Pasdar; models at the "Hoppening" AIDS benefit, Playboy Mansion West; and Cary Grant's classic I Was a Male War Bride, now on video.

Erin Go Bra

Wonderbras captivated Pamela Flood (a.k.a. Miss Ireland), as well as a kook who scaled a 20-foot ladder to get his hands on model Eva Herzigova.

Return Of The Flower Child

Welcome back, body painting. The Sixties fad is now so hot that the London College of Fashion has added it to its curriculum of fashion, hair and makeup styling. Finger-painters need not apply.

Drop Those Skillets!

It was out of the phat and into the fire for rappers Ed Lover and Doctor Dre, whose subway ads had folks thinking twice about breakfast.

Come On Down And Dirty

When The Price Is Right's Dian Parkinson (right) sued host Bob Barker for harassment, Playmate and model Janice Pennington (below) backed Bob, and Gena Nolan (far right) replaced Dian.

Casting Call

Also in London, artisan Rick Cresswell makes ceramic body casts for women, such as Justine Collins, to give to their boyfriends. So far, we hear, his business is boobing.

Politics, Brazilian Style

Photographers captured Brazilian president Itamar Franco with the pantyless model Lilian Ramos. Itty's defense: "How am I supposed to know if people are wearing underwear?"

Politics, Russian Style

No night at the Kirov for Russian ultranationalist Vladimir Zhirinovsky. He held a summit at a Moscow strip club.

Politics, American Style

Bill Clinton is still hounded by Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers (here spoofing MM's tribute to JFK). Aren't Democrats fun?

Politics, British Style

A string of sex scandals dealt prime minister John Major (1) a headache as the tawdry Tory tote board kept racking up victims: member of Parliament Stephen Milligan (2) was found dead, wearing a garter belt and women's stockings; Jennifer Sharp (3) was one of five mistresses of junior transport minister Steven Norris; junior environment minister Tim Yeo (4) quit his post after it was revealed that he had sired two illegitimate children; MP David Ashby (5) denied his wife's charges of homosexuality--he'd bunked with a fellow in France, he said, "to save money"; the Earl of Caithness (6), minister for aviation and shipping, resigned after his wife, said to be distraught over his infidelity, committed suicide; a liaison with Lady Bienvenida Buck (8) forced defense chief Sir Peter Harding (7) out; ex-defense minister Alan Clark (9) admitted boffing a judge's wife and daughters (10).

A Brigitte Too Far

Bardot: Two Lives (on shelves in Britain, due in the U.S. this spring) documents BB's marriages, affairs, suicide attempts and love of animals. Bet on Kim Basinger for the film.

Thanks for the Mammaries: Bust in Space

Stop the presses! A nipple on the front page of USA Today? Nope--just an AP photo of Shoemaker-Levy comet fragments striking the planet Jupiter. It could be a new Milky Way.

Relax, George, It's Not Broccoli

For those who refuse to eat their greens: Barbara's Bush, which is billed as "easy and fun to grow" and promises "full coverage in one week."

Oh Ron, What's She Done Now?

Patti Davis, who tweaked her folks' noses with her Playboy pictorial, has now filmed a Playboy Celebrity Centerfold video, due in February. On the tape, Patti shows off her figure as well as her kickboxing skills.

Will That Be Regular Checking?

The Royal Bank of Scotland has introduced check-cashing cards for the transvestite on the go. "If cross-dressing customers are confident enough to go shopping dressed as women," explained a spokesman, "they can avoid embarrassment when paying by check." Pictured here: a pair of cards for RuPaul, who now garbs both ways.

Woodstock '94: Mud Wrestling For Fun And Profit

At the 25th anniversary, celebrants paid plenty to slop mud, see Jesse James Dupree drop trou and buy condom key chains.

Forget Me, Forget Me Not

Dueling authors: Richard Ofshe opposes, Lenore Terr supports, the theory of recovered memory through hypnosis, which has spawned 200 books. Either way, Oprah wins.

His Sex Therapist: Dr. Scholl

Marla Maples' ex-publicist, Chuck Jones, left court in tears after being convicted of stealing her panties and shoes, with which he'd admitted having a "sexual relationship." What a heel.

Love That Toon

Buyers of the laserdisc version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit discovered that a freeze-framed peek up toon temptress Jessica Rabbit's skirt revealed that she wore no panties. The rumored culprits are mischievous Disney animators.

Funny, They Used To Be Called Unmentionables

In the wake of MTV teens' questioning Bill Clinton on his underwear preference, other notables were hit with the same query. Surprisingly, they replied. Match the celeb to his skivvies (answers below):

Tax-free Assets

Exotic dancer Cynthia Hess, a.k.a. Chesty Love, successfully fought the IRS to get her size 56FF breast implants declared a tax-deductible business expense.

Sex, Drugs, Mick & Keith

Whom did Mick Jagger really lust for, even while he was balling Marianne? His fellow Stone, Keith Richards, she claims in her new autobiography Faithfull.

Answers: Mel Gibson (boxers for dress, briefs for sports); Mario Cuomo (long johns); yachtsman Bill Koch (briefs); Regis Philbin (both); Alec Baldwin (boxers--"Kim wants to get pregnant"). In Brando, Peter Manso claims Marlon, in A Streetcar Named Desire, went bare beneath jeans with the pocket linings removed because "Stanley would have liked to put his hands in his pockets and feel himself."

Animal Buffs

Kim Basinger (at left) joins supermodels (above, from left) Emma Sjoberg, Tatjana Patitz, Heather Stewart-Whyte, Fabienne Terwinghe and Naomi Campbell in a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals antifur advertising campaign.

Next: an IUD for the Eiffel Tower?

Benetton employees and Act Up slipped a 72-foot condom over the obelisk in Paris' Place de la Concorde. Tres Sheikh!

Jurassic Jerk

"They don't call me Tyrannosaurus Sex for nothing," cracked Ted Kennedy, attending an office party dressed as Barney.

All in the Family

In People magazine, John F. Kennedy Jr. looks to be helping a shapely shipmate out of her boating togs. In fact, the new ladyfriend is getting into them.

Drop That Cup!

We thought they said peanuts fares: In this ad for a Norwegian airline, a coffee cup hides the genitals of a naked man surprised by a visit from his in-laws.

Geezer-Pleaser

Playmate Anna Nicole Smith broke hearts worldwide--and raised eyebrows--by marrying an 89-year-old Texas oil tycoon, Howard Marshall II. Happy drilling.