American League East

1. New York Yankees

2002 in Review: 103--58, first place. Much to the Chagrin of Steinbrenner, Giuliani and small-market owners looking for a scapegoat, the Yankees were stomped by the Angels in the division series and have now gone two entire years without winning a championship.

Pivotal Player: Terminally bland lefty pitcher Andy Pettitte has a .646 career winning percentage, fourth among active pitchers who have 100 or more decisions.

X Factor: Derek Jeter's batting average has slipped for four consecutive years and his defense at shortstop is now shaky at best. And he's sparring with the boss. Is Pretty Boy history?

Outlook: The Yanks go international for 2003. Casting aside memories of Hideki "Fat Pussy Toad" Irabu, New York signed Yomiuri Giants outfielder Hideki Matsui and replaced El Duque with Cuban Jose Contreras. Contreras will join Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, David Wells and Mike Mussian in a rotation deeper than Kant. The Jason Giambi-led offense should continue to cruise, but can Mariano Rivera stay off the DL?

Endgame: The Yankees will complete a six-pack of consecutive division titles, but a depleted bullpen could haunt them come October.

2. Boston Red Sox

2002 in Review: 93--69, second. After a fast start, the curse of the Bambino--or a weary bullpen or interleague play--caught up with the Sox.

Pivotal Player: After languishing in the bullpen for five years, Derek Lowe (21-8, 2.58 ERA) was Pedroesque in his first year as a starter.

X Factor: Batting champ Manny Ramirez (.349, 33 homers, 107 RBI in 120 games) might be the best pure hitter in the AL, but he's so sulky and injury prone that he's now about as popular in Boston as busing.

Outlook: The Red Sox have six--count 'em, six--returning All-Stars, but Doogie Howseresque GM Theo Epstein failed to bolster the rotation with Contreras or Bartolo Colon. But Jason's lil'bro, Jeremy Giambi (.435 on-base percentage last season in Philadelphia), could make all the difference with a breakout year.

Endgame: With a feng shui balance between pitching and hitting--and a bullpen by committee--the Bosox could win the wild card, knock off the Yanks and finally end the curse. Or not.

3. Toronto Blue Jays

2002 in Review: 78--84, third. The once-proud Blue Jays saw their win total decline for the fourth consecutive year, prompting copulating couples at the Skydome Hotel to draw the blinds at game time.

Pivotal Player: Slugging first baseman Carlos Delgado would be a poor man's Jason Giambi, except that at $17 million per year, Carlos makes more than Giambi.

X Factor: The Blue Jays are victims of the exchange rate, taking in Canadian dollars but paying out American dollars in player salaries, which hurt the team's bottom line to the tune of $30 million in 2001.

Outlook: The Jays have young talent, including rookie of the year Eric Hinske and 25-year-old Roy Halladay, who went 19-7 with a 2.93 ERA. But Cory Lidle went from Oakland's number four starter to Toronto's number two--need to know more about the depth of the pitching staff?

Endgame: Neither as good as the Yankees and Red Sox, nor as wretched as the Orioles and Devil Rays, the young Jays will improve but spend another summer in that baseball purgatory known as third place.

4. Tampa Bay Devil Rays

2002 in Review: 55--106, fifth. The season's only achievement: Tampa's ERA of 5.29 was worst in the bigs.

Pivotal Player: Catcher Toby Hall's batting average inexplicably slipped from .298 to .258, but he's done an excellent job handling the young pitching staff.

X Factor: Florida's steamy midsummer weather no doubt contributed to the team's 7--20 record in July. Didn't help attendance, either. Then again, the Rays supposedly play indoors.

Outlook: The good news--the Devil Rays snagged Mariner skipper Lou Piniella. The bad news--they surrendered their best player, Randy Winn, as compensation. Joining Greg Vaughn in the Why Aren't You Playing in Japan Club is no-hit shortstop Rey Ordonez.

Endgame: Under Piniella, things will get better. Slowly.

5. Baltimore Orioles

2002 in Review: 67--95, fourth. The aging Orioles had about as good a year as Worldcom, which is fitting, as they're just about as well run. Trivia fact: the Orioles drew 412,000 fewer fans in 2002, yet still managed to finish third in AL attendance.

Pivotal Player: Former Cy Young Award winner Pat Hentgen has gone 2--7 and pitched 84 innings since coming to Charm City in 2001.

X Factor: Meddling owner Peter Angelos--Marge Schott minus the social graces--has run all his top baseball men out of the organization.

Outlook: There's not much to say about a roster in which journeyman first baseman Jeff Conine is a standout. Pitching prospect Steve Bechler died of heatstroke in spring training. The rest of the O's minor league system is as barren as parts of Afghanistan.

Endgame: On the express elevator to the cellar, the Birds will get a lot worse before they get better.

(continued on page 156)American League(continued from page 91)

AL Central

1. Chicago White Sox

2002 in Review: 81-81, second place. A win. A loss. A win. A loss. Two wins. Two losses. And so on. Yawn.

Pivotal Player: A victim of Cecil Fielder Syndrome, former MVP Frank Thomas has morphed from the Big Hurt into the Big Slob: His .252 average doesn't even approach his weight.

X Factor: Owner Jerry Reinsdorf is the owner who built--and destroyed--the Chicago Bulls. Discuss.

Outlook: With the acquisition of 20-game winner Bartolo Colon, the White Sox are making a bid to become the AL's answer to the Diamondbacks. Starter Mark Buehrle (39-21 career) has a Hall of Fame future. Erratic closer Billy Koch is a more questionable addition.

Endgame: The pitching-rich White Sox will improve by a dozen games and take the Central Division.

2. Minnesota Twins

2002 in Review: 94-67, first. "Contract this." That's what the Twins said to the commissioner after they won their division and reached the ALCS.

Pivotal Player: 27-year-old Gold Glover Torii Hunter enjoyed a career year with 29 homers, 94 RBI, 23 steals and a .289 batting average.

X Factor: The Twins have one of the best farm systems in baseball, so help could be a phone call away.

Outlook: The Twins are looking to improve for the fifth consecutive year, a near miracle in the majors. But none of their starters scored or drove in 100 runs, hit 30 homers or hit over .300 last season. Ominous signs.

Endgame: The overachieving Twins won with smoke and mirrors last year, but the smoke clears and the mirrors crack this summer. See ya, wild card.

3. Cleveland Indians

2002 in Review: 74-88, third. After a decade of contention, the Indians dumped their veterans and shifted midseason into rebuilding mode.

Pivotal Player: C.C. Sabathia, a 6' 7" man-child, hits 98 on the radar gun, but strikeouts declined from 8.5 to 6.4 Ks per nine innings pitched, while his record slipped from 17-5 to 13-11.

X Factor: Attendance at Jacobs Field dropped by 558,000 last year. What else is there to do in Cleveland, anyway?

Outlook: This season's Tribe will go younger than Roman Polanski. Omar Vizquel is the only holdover from the championship run, and even he might be pushed by 21-year-old second baseman Brandon Phillips.

Endgame: The Indians have a plan. Just not for this year.

4. Detroit Tigers

2002 in Review: 55-106, fifth. Another lost summer--the last time the Tigers cracked .500, Sparky Anderson was the manager and Kirk Gibson was limping around the bases. No wonder Hall of Fame broadcaster Ernie Harwell retired.

Pivotal Player: None.

X Factor: Pizza mogul Mike Ilitch, who also owns the Stanley Cup-champion Red Wings, considers the Tigers an ugly stepchild. Can you blame him?

Outlook: Bleak. Sensing that trying to tweak this lineup is like putting a tuxedo on a corpse, general manager Dave Dombrowski traded away the team's best pitcher, Mark Redman.

Endgame: The Tigers will be rebuilding until Flint, Michigan becomes the Paris of the Midwest.

5. Kansas City Royals

2002 in Review: 62-100, fourth. Proving that stupidity is a more powerful force than poverty, the minimarket Royals tossed more than $6 million at Chuck Knoblauch and Neifi Perez, arguably the worst position players in the majors.

Pivotal Player: Mike Sweeney almost won a batting title last year, but the five-year contract extension he signed last spring has a loophole that allows him to become a free agent if the Royals don't break .500 in 2003 or 2004.

X Factor: Center fielder Carlos Beltran is an emerging star, but has already threatened to test free agency after the 2004 season, so he could be dealt.

Outlook: Alms for the poor. With no money and no brains but some talent, the Royals will again spend the summer kvetching about their budget. The dust bowl of a farm system won't help.

Endgame: Surrender, Dorothy! Last.

American league West

1. Oakland Athletics

2002 in Review: 103-59, first place. After a May swoon that seemed to leave them deader than Ted Williams, Oakland won 78 of their last 109 games--that's .716 baseball, friends--to win the division. Then they were shocked in five by the Twins in the division series.

Pivotal Player: The A's are hoping that 25-year-old third baseman Eric Chavez (34 HR, 109 RBI) can follow in the footsteps of previous A's MVP Jason Giambi.

X Factor: Oakland's Network Associates Coliseum may be old and ugly, but it's one of the best pitchers' parks.

Outlook: Don't play poker with Oakland general manager Billy Beane--he's starting out with three aces. His staff of Cy Young Award winner Barry Zito, Tim Hudson and Mark Mulder is the envy of all of baseball, and he has them all signed through 2005.

Endgame: New manager Ken Macha makes like Joe Torre, winning it all in his first year on the job.

2. Texas Rangers

2002 in Review: 72-90, fourth. Last year Alex Rodriguez was the best player in the AL, but the Rangers finished last anyway.

Pivotal Player: Laugh at the Viagra commercials if you must, but Rafael Palmeiro should earn his ticket to Cooperstown this summer when he hits his 500th home run.

X Factor: Buck Showalter brought both the Yankees and the Diamondbacks into contention, and got ousted the year before each team won the World Series.

Outlook: GM John Hart cleaned shop in the off-season: He said adios to punchline players like Hideki Irabu, John Rocker and Kenny Rogers, and hello to closer Ugueth Urbina. New manager Buck Showalter makes Alan Greenspan look relaxed, but his sweat-the-details approach gets results.

Endgame: The Rangers keep pace with the A's into August and challenge for the wild card.

3. Anaheim Angels

2002 in Review: 99-63, second. The Halos won a wild card, made a deal with Satan and pulled a Lazarus in the World Series.

Pivotal Player: Francisco Rodriguez, 21, has a career regular season ERA of 0.00; in his postseason deb party he looked like a young Mariano Rivera.

X Factor: Since 1980, only two teams (the Yankees and the Blue Jays) have repeated as World Champions.

Outlook: Unlike the last wild card world champs--the 1997 Marlins--the Angels won't have any trouble keeping the team together. They will have trouble repeating. Regulars like Darin Erstad, Adam Kennedy and Garret Anderson benefited from manager Mike Scioscia's swingat-everything ethos, but it's not a long-term recipe for success.

Endgame: Put away those phallic ThunderStix--no playoffs this year.

4. Seattle Mariners

2002 in Review: 93-69, third. The Mariners were 23 games worse than 2001 and still remained in playoff contention in MLB's smallest, toughest division.

Pivotal Player: Ichiro Suzuki's batting average dropped from .350 to .321, but by more than doubling his walk total, he increased his on-base percentage.

X Factor: Beware, Bob Melvin: The Mariners have never won more than 83 games for any manager besides departed skipper Lou Piniella.

Outlook: During their 116-win season in 2001, the Mariners depended too much on vets like ancient Mariner Jamie Moyer and the overachieving Bret Boone. Their best starter, 26-year-old Freddy Garcia, backslid in every important category last year.

Endgame: The Mariners may be the best last-place team in baseball history.

the ace

Barry Zito pitcher/Oakland A's

[Q] Playboy: What goes through your mind when you're on the mound?

[A] Zito: In a perfect world? Nothing--I just react. I'm subconscious out there. It's a free-flowing experience. No thoughts. All left brain.

[Q] Playboy: Are you a different guy when you're out there?

[A] Zito: Definitely. When I'm on the mound I have to think of myself as the best pitcher in the league. But when I walk into a restaurant I don't think of myself as superior. A lot of guys in this sport do. And that's why people will say, "I hate this guy because he treats the fans like shit."

[Q] Playboy: How much of pitching is mental?

[A] Zito: Once you get the physical things in line, it's 100 percent mental. You hear stories of guys who throw 95 but can't get out of A ball. That's because they're mentally weak. They can't accept it in their consciousness that they're a big league superstar.

[Q] Playboy: Because you do yoga and play guitar and shop in thrift stores, some call you a flake.

[A] Zito: If someone actually meets me they'll never call me a flake. I'm intelligent. I have my shit together. I have a personality, and that's something I'm not going to suppress.

[Q] Playboy: Your uncle is Patrick Duffy, from the television show Dallas. Growing up, did you have a thing for Victoria Principal?

[A] Zito: No, I was a big Loni Anderson fan growing up.

[Q] Playboy: You were on Dr. Phil.

[A] Zito: I'd never met the guy, but his people wanted me to ask him some questions, like "How do I be respectful to female fans without them thinking I want to date them?"

[Q] Playboy: What was his answer?

[A] Zito: I never got the answer because I don't watch the damn show.

Going Deep

Brigitte Bako reveals why baseball games make for great foreplay

Baseball is sexy, With the right guy, watching a baseball game can be nine innings of foreplay. And since this might be the last year for baseball in my hometown of Montreal, let me clue you in on what you're missing.

The single most alluring thing about being at the ballpark is that I can leave my push up bra at home. I can also let my hair down. And I'm transported into a parallel universe--eating junk food, drinking cheap beer and ogling players in tight outfits. There's plenty of time to flirt with my guy--my leg draped over his, huddling under a blanket as the late-inning chill creeps in. There's something sexy about being able to yell in public. After nine innings of screaming and huddling, my inhibitions are going, going, gone. I can curse out the ump in nine different languages. I just might shout something in my rudest Quebecois about his mom and a horse. If my beau laughs instead of cringes, he's won me over. Maybe next time we'll watch the game at my place. He can bring the beer and I'll bring the blanket.

Brigitte Bako stars in the HBO series The Mind of the Married Man.

the gold glover

Jim Edmonds outfielder/St. Louis Cardinals

[Q] Playboy: Last year was a roller coaster ride for you. Where were you when you heard about your teammate Darryl Kile's death?

[A] Edmonds: Dave Veres and I were actually trying to get ahold of him on his cell phone. We figured he was either late getting up or stuck in traffic in Chicago.

[Q] Playboy: How tough was it to get back on the field the next day?

[A] Edmonds: We played and it probably was a big mistake. Darryl had never missed a start, so we figured we would show everybody we could do the same thing he did his whole career. We got blown out. Nobody was into the game. I couldn't think of anything but him and his family.

[Q] Playboy: On the other hand, you won your fifth Gold Glove last year.

[A] Edmonds: My best accomplishment was winning the Gold Glove this season without really diving at all. I try to stay on my feet now. You dive on Astroturf and it burns your skin, rips your pants.

[Q] Playboy: But those diving catches go over big on Sports Center.

[A] Edmonds: Well, it gets to the point where some people think you're diving on purpose. You watch TV and you see these guys diving at a ball that is waist high. Or guys who jump in the air to catch a ball that's going to hit them in the chest.

[Q] Playboy: Were you aware that the gay sports website Outsports.com gave you the 2002 Brass Balls award as the game's most watchable center fielder? Here's a quote from Outsports: "While he verges on being too pretty, he is quite the physical specimen. And he has stopped doing stupid things with his hair. (Those highlights he had last year were a little too 1998, weren't they?)"

[A] Edmonds: I didn't know [laughs heartily]. I guess it's flattering that people like me. But I'm more into ladies, I have to say.

The All-Playboy Team

we name the game's best players, assembling a team for the ages

Welcome to the greatest team ever assembled. Period. If these current players took the field against All-Stars from the Twenties or Fifties or Seventies, they would not only win, they might just have to invoke the slaughter rule.