an ENGLISHWOMAN abroad

I live in a borough outside London called Bexley. It’s a nice place, and everyone here is really lovely, but it’s a bit quiet—not too much going on. I don’t think I could stay here. I’m all about exploring.

When I was younger I secretly wanted to be a model, but I would never admit it to anyone because I didn’t want people to say, “Really? You want to model?” I’m quite shy, and I’ve never been very confident in myself and how I look. I’m also only five-foot-five, so my height has always been an issue. Whenever I thought about trying it, I would think, Nope, they’re going to tear me down.

I went to university in Brighton, which is by the sea and very quirky—completely different from Bexley. I studied theatrical hair and makeup for film and TV, and after I left uni I was on Instagram, looking for makeup work, and photographers started asking me, “Can you model?” I was like, “Uh, I can try.” And it just kind of happened from there.

At the time I wasn’t sure if I liked it, but I gradually realized I was doing more modeling than anything else. Eventually I started to enjoy it and to think of it as a career. I’ve been modeling for about a year now, and it wasn’t until the end of January 2019 that I got signed to an agency. A big part of it was timing: Maybe it could have happened for me a year ago, but I don’t think I was confident enough to sign a contract back then.

The more experience I’ve gained, the more confident I’ve become. I’m lucky to have had good opportunities, but I also worked for it. For a while I was researching names and agencies, making connections and messaging people, asking if they’d be up for some shooting.

The biggest challenge is still just believing in myself. Obviously I wouldn’t be doing what I do if I wasn’t comfortable in my body, but we all have our bad days. When it comes to a job, I feel like the key is to move whatever you’re feeling to the side and just get on with it and be grateful that you’ve got the opportunity to be there—and to have fun!

Looking back, it was weird how it all came about. But I’m so glad it did, and I can’t wait to see what will happen for me in the future.

DATA SHEET

BIRTHPLACE AND CURRENT RESIDENCE: Bexley, U.K.

ON PARENTAL GUIDANCE

My mom and dad are very supportive of what I do; they just don’t want me to do anything I might regret later. My mom was like, “Are you sure you want to pose in PLAYBOY?” I said, “Yeah, I’m confident doing it. I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t.” Then they were like, “Are you sure it’s the real PLAYBOY?” I said, “Yes, Mom, yes, Dad, it’s the real PLAYBOY.” My dad told me, “If you want to do it, do it. It’s a good opportunity.”

ON MOMS AND MYSTERIES

I like murder-mystery shows, which is weird, actually, because I used to watch them with my nan and my mom. And when I was younger we always played—have you heard of Cluedo? I used to think I was really good at it, so I secretly wanted to be a detective.

ON WANDERLUST

I’m all about finding new places and seeing amazing views. I’ve been on family holidays in Greece, so I’ve been to Santorini, Crete, Rhodes and quite a few other islands. I’d always wanted to see L.A., and I was able to during my PLAYBOY shoot near Malibu. What I saw was lovely; I can’t wait to go back.

ON INSTA KISMET

It just helped me get where I am now. Playboy would never have reached out to me if it weren’t for Instagram. I think if you’re a famous person it’s probably hard to know what not to share, because people expect you to share so much. It’s a good thing, but people can definitely take it too far.

ON TROLLS

I’ve fortunately not had to deal with it that much, but when people are mean on social media, I want to say, “What good is that doing you? It’s not going to make you feel any better just because you think someone shouldn’t look like this. I know everyone has an opinion, but why did you feel you had to share the unnecessary comment about my legs?”

ON FUNNY FRIENDS

I’m most like Rachel from Friends because I can be quite ditsy; I have my moments. But my favorite character is probably Joey because he’s so funny. He also seems like he just has fun with life. That’s what I want to be like.

ON DOPPELGÄNGERS

People have said I resemble Kate Beckinsale, but I think it’s only the way she looks in Pearl Harbor. (That’s one of my favorite films, and it’s the only one that can make me cry.) And back at university I was pale and had red hair and people actually used to say to me, “You look like Victoria from Twilight.” So—the bad one.