Adapting video games into movies has always been one of the best ways for Hollywood to burn money and satisfy nobody ever since Bob Hoskins portrayed the world’s most iconic plumber back in 1993. Borderlands, based on the first-person shooter RPG series of the same name, helmed by Eli Roth, is sadly, no outlier. Borderlands movie reviews are trickling out in advance of its formal release date on Aug. 9, and there isn’t a single thumb pointing up.
Now that the review embargo is up, critics and fans alike are dragging Borderlands through the mud. Currently, it sits at about 3 percent on movie review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes. What’s the general consensus? Let’s ask the critics!
“It’s an insult to gamers, movie lovers, and carbon based life forms,” says Rolling Stone. That’s to be expected, but what about the certified gamers at IGN? Surely, they can appreciate this film on its own merits.
“It’s like watching gameplay on God Mode with infinite lives, except these characters don’t even take damage – so what’s the point?,” says IGN critic Matt Donato. It’s not just the professional movie watchers taking this film to task.
The Twittersphere is already lighting up with memes of fans reacting to the critical reception, in ways that usually sting more than any amount of thumbs pointing down ever could. Anyone that’s ever watched a movie based on a video game knows that the experience almost always ends in tears. There are a few outliers, including last year’s record-smashing The Super Mario Bros. Movie, or the Sonic the Hedeghog film franchise, which will see its third entry hit theaters this December.
Perhaps the only good thing about the film so far is that actress Cate Blanchett wore a top entirely made of spoons to a Borderlands fan event in Los Angeles, which in itself is apparently more interesting than any moment of the actual movie.
The Borderlands cast is packed with super stars including Cate Blanchett (Lilith), Kevin Hart (Roland), Jack Black (Claptrap), Arianna Greenblat (Tiny Tina) and even Jamie Lee Curtis (Dr. Patricia Tannis) and is directed by Eli Roth, who shares screenplay credits with Joe Crombie. The movie releases in theaters Friday, August 9.