Will We Ever Get a Gay James Bond?

IMAGO / Icon Sportswire
The question you didn't know you needed answered.

At a recent press conference promoting the upcoming movie Queer, James Bond emeritus Daniel Craig was asked if we will ever get a “gay James Bond.” Posing the question to Craig at this point is not only silly, but bad timing, considering No Time to Die was the absolute final time he will ever portray Bond.

Queer director Luca Guadagnino’s response to the question was initially curt, but he made some valid points.

“Guys, let’s be adults in the room for a second,” Guadagnino said. “There’s no way around the fact that nobody can ever know what James Bond desires. Period.”

As a lifelong Bond fan, the retort is well-meaning, but I think it misses the mark, if only a little. It’s sort of like asking “Will there ever be a gay president?” Spoilers: there probably already was one. By the foppish nature of the many wasps that occupied the White House, there were probably a handful.

The question has already sort of been answered. And I’m not talking about the abundance of Gay Bond Fan Fiction. Who can forget the iconic tete-a-tete between Craig’s Bond and Javier Bardem’s Silva in Skyfall?

In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it verbal spar, Silva grabs Bond’s thighs and says something corny and sinister like “There’s a first time for anything.” Bond, without missing a beat, responds, “What makes you think it’s my first time?”

It wasn’t a question most people were posing at the time. But if you look back on the Craig Bond oeuvre, even casual observers may come to the conclusion that, “Yeah, this guy’s probably fucked at least one dude.” Every actor who’s portrayed the character brings their own spin. Craig’s Bond doesn’t give a shit how his martini is made, I can totally see him being a pinch hitter.

It’s not a big deal anymore. It certainly wasn’t in 2012, when Skyfall came out. Bond, at the end of the day, is more or less a shell. Even though he’s a machine that’s wired to kill in service of her majesty’s government, his personality is always a reflection of the times. The intense machismo of the Ian Fleming novels was soaked in the Connery era. The afterbirth of the peace movements of the early 70s painted a softer, goofier version of Bond with Roger Moore. Don’t get me started on Timothy Dalton.

In an effort to promote safe sex during the AIDS crisis, Bond only slept with one woman in The Living Daylights. One! That’s practically abstinent in Bond terms. We don’t have an openly gay Bond yet, but safe money is that we’ll probably at least get a Bi one within a decade. But the real question is, do we even want a gay James Bond?

Representation in media is important, no sane person can argue this. But is a gay Bond truly a goal we want to champion? “Hell yeah, that sociopathic spy who kills with impunity: occasionally, he likes to kiss a fella!” I don’t know. I don’t want to belittle this concept for anyone that has their heart set on it. And far be it for me to tell someone how to enjoy a time-honored media franchise.

Besides, have you seen the way Roger Moore kisses a woman? It practically screams light in the loafers.

More from
Playboy