Tori Darling always dreamed of being a princess. Tori sat down with us for a quick chat, where what makes her tick, why reading is sexy, the endless New York versus New Jersey rivalries, and more.
Playboy: To start at the beginning, where were you born?
Tori Darling: I was born in New Jersey and now I live in New York. I love New Jersey. I think it gets a lot of hate. It’s like the armpit of New York, but has great beaches. It has the forest too – I grew up in the mountains, in the forest. It doesn’t really get better than that.
Playboy: The whole war between the New York/New Jersey factions is really something.
Tori Darling: Yeah, and there’s wars about who has the best pizza, who has better pasta. The bagels is the biggest thing and then within New Jersey, it’s its own North Jersey versus South Jersey kind of thing, like pork roll versus Taylor Ham.
Playboy: What did you most enjoy – or not enjoy – during your school years?
Tori Darling: I was never good at math, which is funny because now I would almost do math for fun. I know that sounds weird. But I like to do little puzzles in my head and math games. I like that now, but when I was in school, I was just terrible at it.
I always loved art and history. I majored in Communcations and Marketing but I minored in Art and Art History. I was always very creative and kind of introverted.
I was never a bad student, but I was always really shy and nervous. But I felt like when I was in an art class or learning about history … there’s stories to history. So I loved that. And then art is just, you know, you make of it whatever you want. So it was like I could let go, let my mind be free.
Playboy: What was the first thing that you dreamed of achieving?
Tori Darling: I wanted to be a princess when I was five years old. Obviously, that’s not possible. Once I got into high school, I think the biggest thing for me was graduating college. I feel so accomplished with where I am, because I started in retail and was working these crazy hours, weekends, really late nights.
And when I got my first corporate job it was a breath of fresh air. I actually have a work/life balance. I compare what I have now to the job I first had and I’m so proud of myself.
Playboy: What are you passionate about? What makes you feel a spark?
Tori Darling: I have a lot of different things. One of my hobbies is reading fantasy and that gets me super excited, it’s just exhilarating for me. I’m reading “Red Rising” right now. It’s an epic sci-fi series from 2014, and it’s so good.
Something else I’m very very passionate about is women’s sexual health and wellness, which I think ties in what I’m doing with Playboy.
I went to Catholic school, I grew up Catholic, and it was pretty strict. I have nothing against it at all. I appreciate the education I had and the background I have, but we were shunned in high school for even kissing a boy. We weren’t taught to use protection.
If you do the research, you know that even science textbooks do not portray correct female sexual anatomy.
Anyway, I’m not going around to schools and speaking about it, but eventually I would love to do that. I don’t want someone who is in my shoes in high school to feel ashamed that they have a vagina, you know what I mean?
Playboy: For sure. And speaking of sexuality, what turns you on?
Tori Darling: Finding people that have common interests, people that are very smart, that love to read. Seeing someone that cares about people on a deep selfless level. I like being humanized by someone as well – definitely a turn-on.
Playboy: What would make you ghost a potential love interest?
Tori Darling: People who disrespect women – I think everyone feels the same about that. People who view women as objects, don’t see us for our intelligence or personalities.That said, I don’t think I’ve ghosted anyone yet!
I’ve been in a healthy relationship for a couple years now – I met him on Hinge – but there were a couple guys on there that were a little weird. I don’t like constant texts, being hounded.
I did go on a really bad date once and this is a prime example of what I don’t want in a person: someone who will continually speak over me and minimize me. That ties back to being humanized. I want someone who listens to me.
Playboy: Now for a big question. What people inspire you and why?
Tori Darling: My gosh, that is such a great question. First I would say my mom. My mom is constantly inspiring me – honestly, both of my parents. As for public figures, I really love Emma Chamberlain. I love her vlogs, everything about her.
She is so real and upfront, but also has this very glamorous and fashionable side to her. She talks about mental health and anxiety, and that’s another thing I’m passionate about – being able to speak up if you’re unhappy or having anxiety.
Playboy: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve been given so far?
Tori Darling: I feel like I hear this a lot, but just being yourself. Talking to both people and other creators, I’ve learned how much people really appreciate someone who’s very real and honest. I’ve gotten on my lives and I’ve talked about mental health and talked about anxiety. If I’m having a bad day. I’ll be like, “Hey guys, I don’t have it in me today.”
Playboy: What have you been reading/watching lately?
Tori Darling: The first Fourth Wing book. I have it on my desk right now. I read the first, but I cannot get into the second one. Another one I read recently was “Down the Drain” by Julia Fox. I read that as a club book. I think she’s pretty inspiring.
She’s accomplished a lot and come such a far way and that book just really shows it. She’s another one that’s super real and I loved reading her book. It made me laugh and made me cry like all the emotions. So that was a great one.
Playboy: Now, a really fun question – How did you get into cosplay?
Tori Darling: I love cosplay. I have my elf ears up here (points off camera). Sometimes I’m a very shy person but this is something that’s allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and act like somebody else for a day. I feel very confident when I wear elf ears. I don’t know what it is about them.
I love reading fantasy, as I mentioned before. It’s just such an escape from reality, sometimes you need it. “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy is coming back to theaters on June 8, and I’m going to dress as an elf when I go. I’m very excited about it. And I’m already planning a cosplay for the Renaissance Fair.
Playboy: What’s your dream cosplay that you haven’t done yet?
Tori Darling: Oh my goodness. I want to say something from “Outlander.” But you know what? A new season of “Bridgerton” just came out so I’m kind of leaning into – what is that era called? It’s like the gilded age or something. I want to get into one of those dresses.
Playboy: Thank you for talking to us, Tori! When can Playboy Club members catch you on live?
Tori Darling: I post my schedule on Sundays, although it’s been sporadic lately, but if you subscribe you’ll get all the latest updates.
Tori Darling is on the Playboy Club. Talk to her now.