Editor’s note: This story originally ran on Playboy.com in May 2020.
When you talk to Gillian Chan, it’s clear that she does everything with great intention and consideration. These qualities lend themselves well to her pursuits in her chosen field of psychology, in which she has a degree (she plans to someday soon establish an inclusive practice), and to the way she approaches partnerships in her personal and professional life.
The multifaceted model did her due diligence before deciding to become a Playmate. “I grew up thinking of Playboy as the reality-TV stereotype, but after speaking to the creative team and digging deeper into the magazine’s past, I saw decades of LGBTQIA+ inclusion, civil rights activism and features with openly trans models before trans rights were a hot topic of discussion,” Chan said in her pictorial profile. “I’ve seen how Playboy has changed over the years, and I want to be part of that change.”
What’s your coming out story?
Gillian Chan: I told my friends that I was bisexual when I was 16, but I wasn’t really “out” because I saw how brutal it was for one of my classmates. When I went to college I had my first girlfriend and came into my identity more. At first I was like, “Okay, I’m lesbian,” but it never really felt right. As a mixed-race person, I’ve always felt like I lived in this middle area, so I felt pressure to pick a side when it came to my sexuality. I also felt some pressure from the gay community to either be straight or lesbian. Now I’m more comfortable with my fluidity, and I define myself as pansexual.
What advice would you give a fan struggling with their sexual identity or gender identity?
Gillian Chan: When my partner was struggling with their gender identity, I told them, “It’s going to hurt you, if you’re not being true to yourself.” I know that’s not realistic for a lot of people, because a lot of people could actually get hurt from coming out. But if you can come out safely, it’s so freeing and liberating.
What is one of the most annoying misconceptions you face as an LGBTQ person?
Gillian Chan: I’m femme and pan, so sometimes I don’t feel as connected to the mainstream queer community as I wish I was. I’ve had people come up to me and be like, “Oh, you don’t even look queer.” And I’m like, “What does that mean?” I’m also tired of the stereotype that pansexual and bisexual people are promiscuous.
What is your favorite thing about being a part of the LGBTQ community?
Gillian Chan: I’m slowly realizing more and more of my friends are queer, which is beautiful, but I don’t have a huge LGBTQ community in New York, and I wish I did. But with my friends who are queer, we can talk about anything, and there’s no judgment.
Who is your favorite LGBTQ icon?
Gillian Chan: My godfather is a drag queen, and I was raised with drag queens when I was younger. My godfather also works as a lawyer in San Francisco. There’s a video of him on the steps of his court building in Spice Girls drag. That memory will always represent happiness and queerness and freedom for me.
I’m also inspired by Geena Rocero, Playboy’s August 2019 Playmate. She’s done so much for the LGBTQ community. When you speak to her and you realize what she’s done in her life, you’re like, “Wow, I really need to get going.”
What is the biggest roadblock for the LGBTQ community in 2020?
Gillian Chan: As a queer person of color I’m very aware of how we are disproportionally targeted by stigma and violence. There are still a lot of stigmas around queerness that exist within black and brown communities. So a lot of people of color lack support from both sides—from their family and from the outside world. And when it comes to violence, trans women of color are killed at a shocking rate. They’re really vulnerable, and they need our support.
If someone wants to be an ally to the LGBTQ community, how can they do that?
Gillian Chan: Be really open-minded to listening to different perspectives, because not all people in this community are the same. Everyone has their own experience.
See more of Gillian on Playboy Plus.
